step-parents...

The Successful Dropout

The Successful Dropout

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Anyone else have cock-eating step-parents? There are so many long, long, long stories of why my step-father is a cock-eater and why i wish he'd just die already, but to sum it up:

my mom has approximately $800 stolen from her every 1-2 months

he smokes 2-3 packs a day

he kicks the cats when they get in his way

whenever mom brings new food into the house, she usually buys it in bulk from bjs....he'll sit there and eat all of the snacks all day long until they're gone....no joke

he works maybe 40 hrs a wk while my mom works almost 80

he makes a fourth of what she makes and a third of what i make

he has a big gambling problem

got fired from his old job because of pot

i just had $100 stolen from me (the first time ive noticed a major amount of money stolen from me, besides a few times where rolls of quarters and dimes were stolen....im starting to think that he had something to do with one of my wavebird controllers)

all he does is eat, watch tv, and trash the place

doesn't clean up after himself...ever

just came downstairs and saw me on the computer, then went into the laundry room and flipped on and off all of the breakers until the power in my room went out...supposedly trying to fix the ac....yet no apologies or warnings...took me 5 long restarts to get my comp working again

whenever i need to use the bathroom, he happens to be in there either reading a book or falling asleep on the toilet

every other week he is missing mysteriously for at least 8 hours, causing my mom to go crazy worrying about him...only to show up with the same old lame excuses (he must've used the "a tractor trailer blind-sided me on I95, causing me to swerve off of I95, crash into a ditch, and pass out" line about 10 times now...seriously).......id follow him and videotape his whereabouts and what he is really doing, but i know that it would just kill my mother

claimed to be allergic to ac for the first 12 yrs of being married to my mother, resulting in us not having ac until last year....now...when its working, he cant live without it and blasts it until it freezes up

he'll spill something such as soda/sauce/etc on the carpet/floor/etc and just keep on walking without cleaning it up

he blasts the tv up as high as it can go, claiming he cant hear it...but when everyone is asleep...he mysteriously has it turned down real low....either proving that he really can hear it, or he doesn't want anyone to hear the late-night porn music, or both....i choose both

as a kid, we used to have to call him mr tom...and now its kinda stuck, even though we have no respect for him at all....even if we try to call him tom, i have a brother named tom, so it doesnt feel right

my mom used to be really skinny and fit, working out all of the time and watching what she ate until she met him....because of how much he eats and how lazy he is, shes adapted to his lifestyle

i cant lock my bedroom door because you have to go through my room to get into the laundry room

in the house, its just me, him, and my mother...so when money is missing from her and he denies it was him, he is basically saying that i did it....and when money is missing from me and he denies it, he is basically saying she did it....either way, shes always in denial about his stealing/cheating/etc

there are so many more reasons i hate that bastard....but i was just wondering if anyone else has a cock-eating step-parent just like mine, close to mine, or worse

note: this is not me crying, bitching, whining, etc....this is just me being highly pissed off and trying to get some frustration out b4 i go crazy....last time we fist fought was about 5 yrs ago and i knocked his ass down....i really am trying to avoid fighting him at all costs right now because im already on probation and i just don't want to get into any more trouble
 
No, but I have cock-eating future in-laws. I read the whole thing. It's really sad, and a LOT of the things that you wrote about are exactly like my future in-laws.
 
lmao...i knew there would be a DLF reference somewhere along the line....might as well get it out of the way...lol....like i said, im not crying about it or anything....and im not looking for sympathy, its just on my mind right now and im trying to avoid knocking his ass out and ending up in jail...........i can take jokes about it, im not at all sensitive about the subject....im just full of so much anger toward that bastard, thats all
 
Here's a thought: if you don't like him don't associate with him. You live on your own, yes? Why let him into your house? If someone came over and I found money missing I sure as hell wouldn't have them back. Your mom is a grown-up. If she insists on sticking with the dick then there's not much you can do about it. Just let her know you'll be there if she wants to give you a call or come see you or whatever, but also that you won't put up with her spouse's behavior anymore and you don't think she should have to either. There's no need to attack her, but stay firm in the point that you're not dealing with his shit anymore. That's about all you can do. That and set up a livejournal for future posts in this vein.
 
[quote name='jmcc']Here's a thought: if you don't like him don't associate with him. You live on your own, yes? Why let him into your house? If someone came over and I found money missing I sure as hell wouldn't have them back. Your mom is a grown-up. If she insists on sticking with the dick then there's not much you can do about it. Just let her know you'll be there if she wants to give you a call or come see you or whatever, but also that you won't put up with her spouse's behavior anymore and you don't think she should have to either. There's no need to attack her, but stay firm in the point that you're not dealing with his shit anymore. That's about all you can do. That and set up a livejournal for future posts in this vein.[/quote]

i dont associate with him....and i dont live on my own yet....i can afford to move out, but i dont wanna be like my other siblings and move out, only to move back in later on again because i wasnt ready....i wanna make sure when im out, im out....and believe me, i wont ever let him in my house....and im definitely not going to set up a livejournal on the matter either, lol....im hoping that was a joke, because i really dont want to have to re-repeat the fact that im not whining, crying, bitching, etc about the manner....im just trying to look for a different outlet of anger besides my fists for the time being....and im not going to keep anyone updated either, lol...this isn't the turn of trustcompany1013 showing you his "real" side in which he'll start to turn sensitive.....its really not that big of a deal, im a big boy...
 
[quote name='jmcc']Here's a thought: if you don't like him don't associate with him. You live on your own, yes? Why let him into your house? If someone came over and I found money missing I sure as hell wouldn't have them back. Your mom is a grown-up. If she insists on sticking with the dick then there's not much you can do about it. Just let her know you'll be there if she wants to give you a call or come see you or whatever, but also that you won't put up with her spouse's behavior anymore and you don't think she should have to either. There's no need to attack her, but stay firm in the point that you're not dealing with his shit anymore. That's about all you can do. That and set up a livejournal for future posts in this vein.[/quote]

Did you read it? He lives with them.
 
[quote name='jmcc']Here's a thought: if you don't like him don't associate with him. You live on your own, yes? Why let him into your house? If someone came over and I found money missing I sure as hell wouldn't have them back. Your mom is a grown-up. If she insists on sticking with the dick then there's not much you can do about it. Just let her know you'll be there if she wants to give you a call or come see you or whatever, but also that you won't put up with her spouse's behavior anymore and you don't think she should have to either. There's no need to attack her, but stay firm in the point that you're not dealing with his shit anymore. That's about all you can do. That and set up a livejournal for future posts in this vein.[/quote]

Bingo.
 
Is the PC you are using in your room? If so set up a cheap webcam and record him stealing from you. Sometimes a cold hard slap in the face like that is what it takes to get people to wake up.
 
[quote name='davidmt']So why is your mom with him? There doesn't seem to be anything positive with him ... at all.[/quote]

i think its that deal where the bf/gf makes their gf/bf feel so shitty about themselves that they feel that they truly cant do any better
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']Anyone else have cock-eating step-parents?[/quote]

So does he sleep with your mom, or is he a homosexual, or both?
 
[quote name='eldad9'][quote name='trustcompany1013']Anyone else have cock-eating step-parents?[/quote]

So does he sleep with your mom, or is he a homosexual, or both?[/quote]

lol, actually....he doesn't sleep with her often....hes usually on his lazyboy (ironic) recliner....its actually funny to run up the stairs (because im too lazy to take the time to walk up them) when he thinks im sleeping and with him hearing that im up and coming upstairs, you then hear a metal belt clanging around and the recliner moving around real quick...like i dont know he's masturbating and trying to hide it, lol....i realize that everyone beats it from time to time, but come on
 
I feel so left out...
Two sane, rational parents who've been married more than 25 years,
5 siblings that aren't troublemakers or complete pains to deal with,
and cute little puppy that doesn't defecate on the living room rug.

Oh well, I guess that all comes from the "failure is not acceptable" vibe that seems to permeate my family. Of course, that is tempered with the "You never truely fail unless you don't do your best"
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013'][quote name='jmcc']Here's a thought: if you don't like him don't associate with him. You live on your own, yes? Why let him into your house? If someone came over and I found money missing I sure as hell wouldn't have them back. Your mom is a grown-up. If she insists on sticking with the dick then there's not much you can do about it. Just let her know you'll be there if she wants to give you a call or come see you or whatever, but also that you won't put up with her spouse's behavior anymore and you don't think she should have to either. There's no need to attack her, but stay firm in the point that you're not dealing with his shit anymore. That's about all you can do. That and set up a livejournal for future posts in this vein.[/quote]

i dont associate with him....and i dont live on my own yet....i can afford to move out, but i dont wanna be like my other siblings and move out, only to move back in later on again because i wasnt ready....i wanna make sure when im out, im out....and believe me, i wont ever let him in my house....and im definitely not going to set up a livejournal on the matter either, lol....im hoping that was a joke, because i really dont want to have to re-repeat the fact that im not whining, crying, bitching, etc about the manner....im just trying to look for a different outlet of anger besides my fists for the time being....and im not going to keep anyone updated either, lol...this isn't the turn of trustcompany1013 showing you his "real" side in which he'll start to turn sensitive.....its really not that big of a deal, im a big boy...[/quote]

Well, in that case I'd recommend getting a [keyed] lock for your door to keep him from stealing your stuff and convert from cash to plastic to keep his hands off your money. Also, you might want to look into peer counseling or something. If you can go to a meeting once or twice a week and let out what you think of this guy to other people you'll be less apt to resort to violence.
 
If this was an episode of a sitcom, we'd just find somebody better for her, while trying to get her to see him for what he is (maybe install some kind of hidden camera in your room and see who steals the $20).

Unfortunately, it's been too long for that and she's probably attached to him and will never realize how much better off she would have been without him.

I feel for you (well, apart for the homophobic outburst). I hope you find a better solution than just waiting until you can leave.

Best course of action: do what he did - find a girl willing to support you, and live off that.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']I feel so left out...
Two sane, rational parents who've been married more than 25 years,
5 siblings that aren't troublemakers or complete pains to deal with,
and cute little puppy that doesn't defecate on the living room rug.[/quote]

sucks to be you :lol:
 
my g/f is about to have a step father. the guy is gay,just half still in the closet. the guy has a huge turqouise ring,wears womens shirts,and can't lift more then his future wife (heavy object wise). her step mother is a total jerk,she is a chronic liar,and she used to lie to my g/f's school counsler to get her in trouble. she had her husband kick out one of his daughters which caused my g/f to ask why and then he kicked her out for that. she left alcohol in the reach of an eight year old and she smoked around them all the time when her husband told her not to. he is staying with her because he doesn't want to go through another divorce.
 
[quote name='biggestinuyashafan']my g/f is about to have a step father. the guy is gay,just half still in the closet. the guy has a huge turqouise ring,wears womens shirts,and can't lift more then his future wife (heavy object wise). her step mother is a total jerk,she is a chronic liar,and she used to lie to my g/f's school counsler to get her in trouble. she had her husband kick out one of his daughters which caused my g/f to ask why and then he kicked her out for that. she left alcohol in the reach of an eight year old and she smoked around them all the time when her husband told her not to. he is staying with her because he doesn't want to go through another divorce.[/quote]

see...this is what my op was asking for....true stories of asshole step-parents...so i can feel better about my situation.... :twisted:

thanks biggest
 
People tend to throw out extremist advice in situations like this. Persuade your mom to throw him out. Get a huge, slavering pitbull to guard your things. Kick his ass. Heh heh. I'm sure if any obvious (and realistic) options were available, you'd have tried them already. What's more, it's somewhat academic that he's a step-father. Would it really be any different if he were your biological parent? Still, this is no laughing matter, and your need to vent is natural. The only quasi-helpful thing I can offer is this: consider how things will be like for your mother after you move out. The more you help her out now, by chipping in any way you can (emotionally & by just helping out around the house) will most likely stay with you & let you feel that you helped her out as best as you could while you were there. Also, your helpful role might just shine enough in contrast to his to make something stir in both of their minds.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']I feel so left out...
Two sane, rational parents who've been married more than 25 years,
5 siblings that aren't troublemakers or complete pains to deal with,
and cute little puppy that doesn't defecate on the living room rug.

Oh well, I guess that all comes from the "failure is not acceptable" vibe that seems to permeate my family. Of course, that is tempered with the "You never truely fail unless you don't do your best"[/quote]

I know what you mean. Its weird to hear the problems others have at home. Its one place that you should be able to feel good about.
 
Have you tried talking to your mom and telling her that both her and you would be better of without him being in your lives? Everyone would be healthier, happier, and saving money etc?
 
[quote name='peteloaf']Is the PC you are using in your room? If so set up a cheap webcam and record him stealing from you. Sometimes a cold hard slap in the face like that is what it takes to get people to wake up.[/quote]That would be awesome if he was caught in the act of stealing. Then TC could blackmail him. :lol:
 
Pull an prank from American Pie on him and change the label on a tube of crazy glue to vaseline or some other lubricant.
Next time you come running up the stairs he'll have his crank glued to his hand!
 
thanks rbm

trakan, ive talked to her a gazillion times about it but talking gets old when you're just talking to a wall.....im not an asshole to my mom by far, but she just doesnt want to hear anything negative about him...."we all have our problems"

sj41...id love to catch him via camera, but after all of the tension in this house since my money has been stolen, i doubt he'll ever think about stealing money from me again....either way, im sure it would just be a waste of time because he wouldn't do it for a while and id get tired of non-stop recording and rewinding and recording and rewinding and he'd just eventually find out about it im sure....

jbro...another good idea, but he could just as easily dip my toothbrush in the toilet after taking a nice crap....so im really not trying to do something that can easily be done back...without me ever knowing

as RBM said...theres really nothing that can be done that probably hasnt already been done or thought of...im not really asking for help or advice, i was just trying to let some steam off....though all of the advice is well-appreciated....i was basically seeing if anyone else had similar problems and how they're dealing with it....curious as to how screwed up my situations are compared to others....the last time i thought i had it bad, i did a poll on here about who all has or doesnt have AC...suprisingly to me, i think most of the ppl dont have AC
 
[quote name='JSweeney']I feel so left out...
Two sane, rational parents who've been married more than 25 years,
5 siblings that aren't troublemakers or complete pains to deal with,
and cute little puppy that doesn't defecate on the living room rug.

Oh well, I guess that all comes from the "failure is not acceptable" vibe that seems to permeate my family. Of course, that is tempered with the "You never truely fail unless you don't do your best"[/quote]

You don't know it yet but somewhere down the road your sane, rational
"failure is not acceptable" upbringing will reveal some type of trauma.

This guys trying to get some frustration out and trying to see if people can relate in some regard to his situation.

Why pour salt on his wounds?

Maybe I'm just taking your post the wrong way, I don't know...but's that's how it's coming off.

I'm not hating on you....so don't go berserker on me
 
My Creative webcam came with software that has motion sensing activation. Launch it when you leave your room and shut it off when you get back. You'll have a minimum of extraneous footage, and will only record when people enter your room. It was only around $30.
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']Anyone else have cock-eating step-parents? There are so many long, long, long stories of why my step-father is a cock-eater and why i wish he'd just die already, but to sum it up:

my mom has approximately $800 stolen from her every 1-2 months

he smokes 2-3 packs a day

he kicks the cats when they get in his way

whenever mom brings new food into the house, she usually buys it in bulk from bjs....he'll sit there and eat all of the snacks all day long until they're gone....no joke

he works maybe 40 hrs a wk while my mom works almost 80

he makes a fourth of what she makes and a third of what i make

he has a big gambling problem

got fired from his old job because of pot

i just had $100 stolen from me (the first time ive noticed a major amount of money stolen from me, besides a few times where rolls of quarters and dimes were stolen....im starting to think that he had something to do with one of my wavebird controllers)

all he does is eat, watch tv, and trash the place

doesn't clean up after himself...ever

just came downstairs and saw me on the computer, then went into the laundry room and flipped on and off all of the breakers until the power in my room went out...supposedly trying to fix the ac....yet no apologies or warnings...took me 5 long restarts to get my comp working again

whenever i need to use the bathroom, he happens to be in there either reading a book or falling asleep on the toilet

every other week he is missing mysteriously for at least 8 hours, causing my mom to go crazy worrying about him...only to show up with the same old lame excuses (he must've used the "a tractor trailer blind-sided me on I95, causing me to swerve off of I95, crash into a ditch, and pass out" line about 10 times now...seriously).......id follow him and videotape his whereabouts and what he is really doing, but i know that it would just kill my mother

claimed to be allergic to ac for the first 12 yrs of being married to my mother, resulting in us not having ac until last year....now...when its working, he cant live without it and blasts it until it freezes up

he'll spill something such as soda/sauce/etc on the carpet/floor/etc and just keep on walking without cleaning it up

he blasts the tv up as high as it can go, claiming he cant hear it...but when everyone is asleep...he mysteriously has it turned down real low....either proving that he really can hear it, or he doesn't want anyone to hear the late-night porn music, or both....i choose both

as a kid, we used to have to call him mr tom...and now its kinda stuck, even though we have no respect for him at all....even if we try to call him tom, i have a brother named tom, so it doesnt feel right

my mom used to be really skinny and fit, working out all of the time and watching what she ate until she met him....because of how much he eats and how lazy he is, shes adapted to his lifestyle

i cant lock my bedroom door because you have to go through my room to get into the laundry room

in the house, its just me, him, and my mother...so when money is missing from her and he denies it was him, he is basically saying that i did it....and when money is missing from me and he denies it, he is basically saying she did it....either way, shes always in denial about his stealing/cheating/etc

there are so many more reasons i hate that bastard....but i was just wondering if anyone else has a cock-eating step-parent just like mine, close to mine, or worse

note: this is not me crying, bitching, whining, etc....this is just me being highly pissed off and trying to get some frustration out b4 i go crazy....last time we fist fought was about 5 yrs ago and i knocked his ass down....i really am trying to avoid fighting him at all costs right now because im already on probation and i just don't want to get into any more trouble[/quote]

I feel your pain brother. My mother as been with my father in law for about 15 years and they're not even ready. I hate him as well, as do my siblings ( two sisters, one is his ). He leeches off my mom and does nothing but b*tch. I look forward to the day I move out. I'm only 19, but I plan on moving out very soon.
 
I'm glad my home isn't this bad. My Mom's great, although I'm surrounded with drugs and my brother is an asshole.
 
I have a wicked stepmother, but I don't live with her. She's far more subtle in her evil. She helped my dad find God. They live a virtuous life together, that started with adultry. She's a total gold digger, and her first task was to totally alienate my siblings and I so that we wouldn't pay attention. She openly has issues with the amount of money he spends on us for holidays, started a huge fight in a restaurant because dad gave my sister a "nicer" bracelet than he gave her, disrupted a 15 year tradition of my dad golfing on my brother's birthday because her step fater was sick and she didn't want to take a day off of work to deal with it, because that might cut into fun vacation later in the year, and she's totally racist and elitist, and doesn't seem to realize that she's nothing more than white trailor trash that found a sucker to support her. She's lot's of fun at gatherings because she practices that strong virtue of drinking excessivly and causing scenes. At father's day she fell flat on her face for no apparent reason which was amusing, at my sister's wedding she got blitzed and kept following my sister around the reception trying to have a heartfelt talk about why my sister hates her. She used to actively try to convert each of us which was really annoying. She's always crying poverty to the point that my dad has started doing it too, yet they went to mexico this year, bought all new furniture, she paid cash in full for a new SUV, they go to Arizone twice a year, because two of her kids and her only grandkids live there, and they will be going to Myrtle Beach shortly. But if my brother needs money for something at school (say like books, or his phone, not beer money) she makes damn sure that they're broke. Of course my dad won't hear anything bad about her. No matter what was said, we just misunderstood it, even comments like "the falling real estate values have allowed blacks and factory workers to ruin the neighborhood," which are hard to mistake for anything other than what they are. He didn't get the hint when all three of his children refused to come to his wedding, and now, almost ten years later we still refuse to buy her Christmas gifts, whic causes some very pathetic begging on dad's part each year to just put her name on one of his gifts or to buy her something with money he would give us. Dad's other favorite line when we complain is "I have a right to be happy too, you know.' Except between the rift with his children, the drain on his paycheck, and the multiple instances of drunken public embarassment, he seems anything but happy.

So that's my step parent story, whcih I believe is what trustcompany wanted. In the way of unsolicited advice about your mom, have you tried approaching it not as a "he's bad" problem, but maybe a co-dependancy one? That would address the earlier issue of making her feel like she can't do better. A lot of communties offer free assessments and counseling, especially places like SOS and Crime Victims. I work with these places daily, and you don't need an extreme situation to deal with them. Maybe you could see what's out there and take her out to lunch and just present it as concern about her and present some options.
 
You don't know it yet but somewhere down the road your sane, rational
"failure is not acceptable" upbringing will reveal some type of trauma.

I doubt that. Only the weak blame others for thier shortcomings.

This guys trying to get some frustration out and trying to see if people can relate in some regard to his situation.

It wasn't attacking him directly.. its just the general discussions about family and parents are so negative around here. I felt that a mention that some families aren't screwed up was worthwhile.

Why pour salt on his wounds?

I didn't say anything negative about him. He even realized the humor in the statement, as he responded with "sucks to be you".

Maybe I'm just taking your post the wrong way, I don't know...but's that's how it's coming off.

You're seeing something that both I and trustcompany didn't see.
Since he saw no malice and saw the humor in the statement, I figure it's all good :)

I'm not hating on you....so don't go berserker on me
JSWEENEY SMASH!!!
 
[quote name='JSweeney']You don't know it yet but somewhere down the road your sane, rational
"failure is not acceptable" upbringing will reveal some type of trauma.

I doubt that. Only the weak blame others for thier shortcomings.

This guys trying to get some frustration out and trying to see if people can relate in some regard to his situation.

It wasn't attacking him directly.. its just the general discussions about family and parents are so negative around here. I felt that a mention that some families aren't screwed up was worthwhile.

Why pour salt on his wounds?

I didn't say anything negative about him. He even realized the humor in the statement, as he responded with "sucks to be you".

Maybe I'm just taking your post the wrong way, I don't know...but's that's how it's coming off.

You're seeing something that both I and trustcompany didn't see.
Since he say no malice and saw the humor in the statement, I figure it's all good :)

I'm not hating on you....so don't go berserker on me
JSWEENEY SMASH!!![/quote]


JSWEENEY'D!!!
 
[quote name='JSweeney']You don't know it yet but somewhere down the road your sane, rational
"failure is not acceptable" upbringing will reveal some type of trauma.

I doubt that. Only the weak blame others for thier shortcomings.

This guys trying to get some frustration out and trying to see if people can relate in some regard to his situation.

It wasn't attacking him directly.. its just the general discussions about family and parents are so negative around here. I felt that a mention that some families aren't screwed up was worthwhile.

Why pour salt on his wounds?

I didn't say anything negative about him. He even realized the humor in the statement, as he responded with "sucks to be you".

Maybe I'm just taking your post the wrong way, I don't know...but's that's how it's coming off.

You're seeing something that both I and trustcompany didn't see.
Since he say no malice and saw the humor in the statement, I figure it's all good :)

I'm not hating on you....so don't go berserker on me
JSWEENEY SMASH!!![/quote]

I guess I sometimes succumb to feeble midiness. It is all good
 
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