The "Dear God, Take-Two, No More Yukes" Wrestling Thread

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[quote name='kodave']There are plenty of other things to talk about other than the fantastical magical mystical land where John Cena rules as heel supreme. Could it be that there are literally dozens of websites dedicated to posting information about the business where you could find other topics of discussion? Could it be that WWE alone has several hours of first run TV each that could be discussed beyond Rock/Cena?

But no, you're right, let's think of more ways to turn John Cena heel.

Maybe he could team up with Brodus Clay on Raw one week in a tag team match. They're victorious over the heel tag team. To celebrate, they all dance with the little kids when out of no where, John Cena hoists on of them up for the Attitude Adjustment. But he doesn't just AA the child in the ring. He AAs the child over the top rope to the floor below. The lights come on and everyone is in utter shock at why Cena would do such a thing. Brodus is on his knees pulling at his mohawk. The Funkadactyls are screaming in hysterics. Michael Cole is more deadly serious than when Lawler nearly croaked at ringside. Cena exits the ring and grabs Justin Robert's microphone. He slides back into the ring and cuts a promo where he decimates the joke that Brodus Clay has become. Cena says he's sick of this facade everyone is putting on. Cena is a true Boston Thug (tm) and seeing a fat glob of human excrement like Brodus Clay do the same schtick that Cena does in terms of being a good guy repulsed him on the deepest levels. Cena says he carried this company on his back for the past decade, and now it's time for him to do whatever he wants to do, as evidenced by the half-dead kid laying outside of the ring. There is no WWE Universe. There is no Hustle, Loyalty, Respect. There is just Cena, and Cena is going to do whatever Cena wants because he can. Rise above hate? No, no. Rise above this mediocrity. Cena says he's bigger than this company. Bigger than this industry. And there's nothing anyone can do about it. Smirk and shrug. Drop the mic. Cena strolls off. Now the Rock can represent the "people" and the "WWE Universe" 100% as Cena above it all. WrestleMania does 219043586795548984357 buys and Cena goes on a tear until Brodus Clay tasers him with a cattle prod at SummerSlam.


Or, you know, the Intercontinental Cup was cancelled today.[/QUOTE]

So let's discuss it instead of being a keyboard warrior™ every time someone brings up something you don't like. Take that shit back to the Hastings thread where you like to think you're the end-all-be-all ruler of the world supreme.
 
Toss Punk into the Rock-Cena match if 'taker isn't wrestling. The match b/w Rock and Cena isn't sacrosanct, and Punk is already part of it, supposing they don't plan for the next PPV match b/w Rock and Punk is a blowoff (which it most likely will be).
 
[quote name='pitfallharry219']I bet he starts "Let's go, Cena!" chants in his living room.[/QUOTE]

It's only funny if his wife/girlfriend/significant other yells back "Cena SUCKS!!!"
 
SHIRTS%20WE%20SOLD%20STAMP.jpg
 
Rather than discuss the Intercontinental Cup being cancelled - which admittedly is huge news that shakes the foundation of WWE, professional wrestling, and indeed human existence as a whole to its very core - I'd like to propose that the streak ends this year due to Undertaker failing Rodney Mack's White Boy Challenge.
 
Tournament for No Reason to determine a hotshot contender or -- and I know this sounds crazy -- set up an actual program with Dallas-Barrett. Safe money is on WWE sweeping the IC title under the rug until Hacksaw digs it out of the trash.
 
[quote name='kodave']Why the hostility though?[/QUOTE]
Because you felt the need to respond to obvious fantasy booking with, "keep dreaming"? Like a certain type of smark, you try to put down others, to make yourself feel good, and appear more knowledgeable and business savvy. I don't give a shit if you don't like discussing possible (even unlikely) booking situations, other people do.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Toss Punk into the Rock-Cena match if 'taker isn't wrestling. The match b/w Rock and Cena isn't sacrosanct, and Punk is already part of it, supposing they don't plan for the next PPV match b/w Rock and Punk is a blowoff (which it most likely will be).[/QUOTE]

That's the obvious plan, yeah. When was the last headliner three-way at Mania? Was it at, uh, that Mania which was totally-headlined-by-Taker-vs.-Kane-seriously-just-trust-us-on-that? I know there have been other three ways in the past few years, but those weren't last match, right?

Regardless, if Taker really decides not to wrestle, it's a damn shame. Not because I want to see him, mind you, but because there could've been a totally different plan for booking Mania. As it stands, if they have to add Punk to the Rock/Cena match, the likely scenario is that he'll be nothing more than an afterthought. Publicity concerns aside, I would've let Punk walk to Mania as champion and then lose in the three-way. But, you know, I don't book this shit to maximize profit and public profile, so this is totally incompatible with Mania. Sigh.
 
[quote name='Scorch']SNIP[/QUOTE]


His initial response is hilarious. Genuinely happy to see Jake sober and alive. Feel good story of the year.
 
I really hope they throw Punk into Cena/Rock for the triple threat match. For me personally, I would like to have someone in that match to root for. It feels like there is some unwritten rule where WM has to be headlined by a standard one-on-one match with zero special stipulations.

For the love of god I do not want Cena/Rock again.
 
I wonder how much Johnson is getting paid? I mean the guy has had a pretty successful film career, I see no reason for him to come back to wrestling unless he was offered enough money.

Plus, we know enough about the "real" Rock that watching him trying to be "The Rock" just seems kind of silly now. Part of being a wrestler is being the character, and he's been out of character for a while now.
 
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eh. The CB4 one was clever in that it's pretty accurate satire of what WWE wants him to be. I didn't get the others, except for Daniel Bryan. On that; double eh.
 
[quote name='Scorch']Deliver what, exactly?[/QUOTE]
Laughs. Definitely worked for me.

For what it's worth, and because it's always much funnier once the joke is explained:
Alf
Sega Rally game over screen
Simpsons
CB4
Boondocks

Go forth in peace.

-----

Edit - Just read something about Steph dropping the "Levesque" name but in the same article they had office salaries for last year. Not surprised that Dunn makes more than HHH considering how long he has been there, but was surprised at how MUCH more.

*Vince McMahon, Chairman of the Board and CEO
* Kevin Dunn, Executive Vice President, Television Production
* George Barrios, Chief Financial Officer
* Michelle Wilson, Chief Marketing Officer
* Paul Levesque (Triple H), Executive Vice President, Talent

- Here is the list of straight salaries for 2012:
* Vince McMahon, $1.1 million
* Dunn, $800,000
* Barrios, $575,000
* Wilson, $575,000
* Levesque, $500,000

I do often wonder if their shows would be any better if they got a fresh producer, rather than having that ass-kissing buck-toothed geek (credit: Jim Cornette) in there.
 
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[quote name='Clak']Vince only "made" 1.1 million? I always figured his salary way bigger than that.[/QUOTE]

Dividend payouts, yo. Pay attention to the quarterlies.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I very rarely watch Impact when it's on the air. I now get why some of y'all dig Daniels and Kaz so much.[/QUOTE]


I've never been too high on Kazarian. Always thought fans gave him too much hype just because of his half-ass spots. Since teaming with Daniels, I've been proven wrong. Genuinely enjoying the guy. Also helps that he cut his hillbilly hair.
 
Excellent finish. The NJPW annoucers have always been good. Little makes me mark out than them screaming "LAAAAAARIETOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']If slidecage winds up being right (as in, a Cena/Punk/Rock match at Mania), I'm not sure I'll be able to handle that.

Haven't checked this guy's channel in quite a while, fortunately he has continued to deliver:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpi4bWIaDxk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3yj6JSxiCQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2wFBqCzlo4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U7Jl7J7H1o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBHO-pV7bEg[/QUOTE]


dont worry that will be the main even for wm cena rock and punk

though could there be something else there


funny if there is a hidden message in there...

cena/punk/rock


cena punks rock (allows punk to regain title at wm and turns heal)


with all of this cash being made on the WWE im shocked noone took over and made this come back to life

With Authority the pc card based game.... man i loved that game back in 2000 and 2001 and 2002 too bad that would not be taken over and come back out
 
[quote name='Scorch']WWE uploaded The Shield's latest theme to iTunes.. people have already taken it, added arena effects and uploaded it to YouTube.. time to update my WWE '13 themes. Here's the one w/ arena effects[/QUOTE]

neat-o. anyway to d/l that without the first 0:08 at all? Seems rather superfluous to include.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']neat-o. anyway to d/l that without the first 0:08 at all? Seems rather superfluous to include.[/QUOTE]

Not sure about downloading the theme without the beginning but there are free programs out there that can edit audio files.
 
Spoilers regarding the Elimination Chamber, for #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Title, made on Smackdown.

With the idea of all the participants being "former World Heavyweight Champions" (that are active, and not involved with the WWE Title), the match makes a lot of sense, considering WWE's usual booking.

Del Rio/Big Show will be facing each other for title at the PPV.

Sheamus/Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton/Kane/Jack Swagger/The Great Khali will be in the Chamber match.

Of the other "former World Heavyweight Champions":

-Ziggler didn't want to be in the match.
-CM Punk and John Cena are involved with the WWE Title.
-Mark Henry and Christian are injured.
-Chris Jericho just returned, no point having him in the match without Ziggler.
-Undertaker hasn't returned/appeared this year, yet.
-Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Batista, Booker T, and Goldberg are retired.
-Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle are in TNA.
-Chris Benoit is dead.

Only change I'd make, is having Rey Mysterio, instead of Swagger. Plus, he did defeat Swagger for the title.
 
[quote name='KaneRobot']Laughs. Definitely worked for me.

For what it's worth, and because it's always much funnier once the joke is explained:
Alf
Sega Rally game over screen
Simpsons
CB4
Boondocks

Go forth in peace.

-----

Edit - Just read something about Steph dropping the "Levesque" name but in the same article they had office salaries for last year. Not surprised that Dunn makes more than HHH considering how long he has been there, but was surprised at how MUCH more.



I do often wonder if their shows would be any better if they got a fresh producer, rather than having that ass-kissing buck-toothed geek (credit: Jim Cornette) in there.[/QUOTE]

So is Johnny Ace completely gone then?
 
[quote name='MisterModest']Spoilers regarding the Elimination Chamber, for #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight Title, made on Smackdown.

With the idea of all the participants being "former World Heavyweight Champions" (that are active, and not involved with the WWE Title), the match makes a lot of sense, considering WWE's usual booking.

Del Rio/Big Show will be facing each other for title at the PPV.

Sheamus/Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton/Kane/Jack Swagger/The Great Khali will be in the Chamber match.

Of the other "former World Heavyweight Champions":

-Ziggler didn't want to be in the match.
-CM Punk and John Cena are involved with the WWE Title.
-Mark Henry and Christian are injured.
-Chris Jericho just returned, no point having him in the match without Ziggler.
-Undertaker hasn't returned/appeared this year, yet.
-Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Batista, Booker T, and Goldberg are retired.
-Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle are in TNA.
-Chris Benoit is dead.

Only change I'd make, is having Rey Mysterio, instead of Swagger. Plus, he did defeat Swagger for the title.
[/QUOTE]

I thought that former U.S. Champion had been released?
 
[quote name='MSUHitman']I thought that former U.S. Champion had been released?[/QUOTE]
Nope, just took some time off. Started wrestling house shows last month.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']neat-o. anyway to d/l that without the first 0:08 at all? Seems rather superfluous to include.[/QUOTE]

Click through to Youtube, click "show more", click the link to download w/ arena effects.. adfly will load, skip the ad, click "download now" located to the right of the file description

the talk over the radio is part of their theme
 
[quote name='Clak']Kinda wondering why there are 3 random little girls in Rock's house.[/QUOTE]

Because Paul Heyman was visiting at CM Punk's house so there wasn't room for them there?
 
Guys, Jack Swagger still exists..I've seen him...and he looks kinda bloated and burned out. His match with Kofi tonight was pretty good though.
 
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