Cole - Kane holds the record for most consecutive Rumbles - this Sunday will be his 11th.
Lawler - The lights went out…I thought Kane made another entrance.
Cole - YUP, IT’S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE KINDA WEEKS!
Cole - I saw that you were on your computer all day - were you on dotcom?
Lawler - ...OF COURSE, I was looking at the daily diva!
Cole - Beth Phoenix trying to establish superioriority early on.
Lawler - Easy for you to say.
Rosa - I’ll do whatever you want - whatever you say. IT’LL BE A GREAT HONOR!
Santino - PLEASE, CAN WE KEEP HER!
Beth - I’ll think about it.
(to Steph)Orton - Is it none of my business that the only reason you have this job is because Mr. McMahon is your father!? Is it none of my business that if your last name wasn’t McMahon, you’d be a complete nobody!?
(to the ref after a vicious head butt)Regal - What? You can’t do anything!
Shad - Tomorrow, our boy is being inaugurated as the President of these United States.
Miz - I’m Republican.
Shad - That’s bad for you.
Morrison - When it comes to beating you two...
Miz and Morrison - YES WE CAN!
Goldust - Cody, it’s been a while. This DVD has Sting, Ric Flair, and Dad. This DVD can teach you more in one night than Randy Orton can teach you in a lifetime.
Cody - I heard it even has a “classic” two out of three falls match between Steve Austin and Dustin Rhodes. Unlike you, I’m not gonna waste my talents.
Vince - Tonight’s about business. Here’s a former superstar in the WWE who has a greivance. Here is… Chris Jericho! Nice suit.
Jericho - Thank you. You look immaculate. While you were incapacitated, I took Raw and carried it on my back. What’s your daughter do? She fires me! But now that you’re back here, I know that you’re gonna make things right, and that’s why I implore you to re-hire me and reinstate me in the Royal Rumble. You’re a brilliant businessman - make things right on your show. Steph can be compulsive.
Jericho - She’s worse than ever.
Vince - Why don’t we bring the princess out here? Allow me to introduce my daughter, Stephanie McMahon!
Vince - Chris, I’m not gonna rehire you, but I’m not gonna fire my daughter - the two of use are gonna run Monday Night Raw together!
Steph - If you really want your job back, apologize.
Jericho - I’m sorry…
Steph - Speak up…
Jericho - I said, I’m sorry.
Steph - You’re gonna have to do better than that.
Jericho - Stephanie, I’m sorry I spoke out of turn against you. I was frustrated at myself and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, and I hope you can find It in your heart to please forgive me.
Steph - That’s good, but it’s not good enough. You’ve been calling these people hypocrites for months now, and if you want your job back, you’ll apologize to them!
(crowd chants "On Your Knees")Steph - I believe they’re saying “on your knees” but I could be wrong.
Jericho - When you have a gift that makes you perform better than anyone on the planet, It may make me seem arrogant. Like I’m better than I’m everyone else, and I know I’ve said a lot of mean things about you...if I’ve said anything to offend any of you, then I apologize.
Vince - I love to see Jericho grovel like that - warms my cockles.
Lawler - Cockles?
Orton - Excuse me, Mr. McMahon, but there’s another apology in order. YOUR DAUGHTER SLAPPED ME FOR NO REASON AT ALL! So I think you should tell her to apologize to me.!
Vince - Why should I do that?
Orton - Because I’m worth more than you, and will make you millions of dollars. People pay to see me and not you! And you might not want to admit this, but ever since your daughter has popped you out a couple of grandkids, she has become essentially worthless!
Vince - WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? You’re standing in my ring! THIS IS MY UNIVERSE, I CREATED IT, AND YOU’RE PRIVALEGED TO BE IN IT! Let me give you a little history - let’s talk about your dad Cowboy Bob Orton. He was a mediocre rassler until I came along, and I made your dad a superstar. He went on to be in the hall of fame and the reason I’m giving you this history lesson is that If I hadn’t done that, you wouldn’t be standing here right now. You’d be maybe a gym teacher in St. Louis. Randy, what I’m saying is now, you can apologize to me! Apologize to me or else. I’m not gonna ask you again. You apologize to me or I’ll terminate you right here on the spot!
Orton - You do not want to do that, sir! (fans chant “RKO“)
Vince - RANDY ORTON, YOU’RE…(Vince slaps him, then Orton kicks him and punts him)