What is the right age to get married?

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I am 22 and it seems a lot of my friends are getting married. I always thought that most guys don't even look to get married until they are around 30 or so, but I guess I am wrong. What age do you all think is the correct or normal age to get married?
 
theres no "right" age. you get married when you meet "the one". i have friends who got married at 20, i have friends that got married at 27, i have friends that are over 30 and still dating.
 
Out of college no matter what. At least 25 for guys, preferably closer to 30.

Girls around 24.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']theres no "right" age. you get married when you meet "the one". i have friends who got married at 20, i have friends that got married at 27, i have friends that are over 30 and still dating.[/QUOTE]
Yep. No sense rushing into something you're not ready for just because your friends are getting married.
 
Since "never" wasn't an option I said 32-35. Most people aren't financially stable or have any real savings until at least then.
 
I got married at 19. It was too early - both my wife and I agree (she was 19 too). We have been lucky though in terms of divorce statistics. We hit our 10 year anniversary in November.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']Most people aren't financially stable or have any real savings until at least then.[/QUOTE]I don't think money is really an issue for getting married. More for having babies and getting a house.

Edited to add: And my answer to the OP's question is "There is no right age (except maybe over 18)".
 
[quote name='judyjudyjudy']I don't think money is really an issue for getting married. More for having babies and getting a house.

Edited to add: And my answer to the OP's question is "There is no right age (except maybe over 18)".[/QUOTE]

Money is most certainly an issue, especially in the current economic climate. The majority of married couples want children and they cost money. Money is the main reason marriages end in divorce.
 
My business professor would often mentioned how he felt people shouldn't get married until they're 30. I agreed with him. I mean, if you get married before then, there's a good chance that you'll get divorced and then end up getting married again around 30 anyway so...
 
[quote name='pigeon12']When women stop sucking so much, then I say "Go for it."[/QUOTE]

Women generally stop sucking after they've been married for awhile.
 
There is no "right" age, but I don't plan on getting married any time soon, I'm 23. I probably won't get married until my 30's.
 
i'm a chick and i'm 26 and i think my friends are batshit crazy for having already gotten married. especially since the financial climate isn't great, why spend money on a wedding when you could be spending it on a house etc. most girls don't want a town-hall wedding
 
My answer: however old you'll be after 2-3 years of cohabitatiing with each other.

I'm currently 23, she's 22, and we've been living together for roughly 2+ years now. We're engaged, and we plan on getting married sometime around Fall 2010.

I think the better question to ask is "What is the right age to have a baby together", and my answer to that: Around 25-30. At that time, one should be mature enough to handle a kid, but young enough to be able to relate to him/her when he/she hits the teenage years.
 
It all depends on your maturity and when you find the right person. I'll be 22 for my wedding and my fiance will be 33. He took a while to find the right person; I had to become legal. :lol: Though we met when I was 19.
 
Money is a huge issue for getting married, period. Anyone who says differently is under 25 years of age :)

If you're broke, or damn near it....don't get freakin married....it'll be an endless source of stress and hostility in your marriage. (thankfully I haven't had this problem, but I know folks who have).
 
People are really stupid about marriage/relationships. I think it's too much TV.

I don't see how there's any "right" age. As far as money, unless one of you is unemployed it will cost less to live together than apart, so I don't see how money is an issue for two married people any more than it is for two people who aren't.

Houses and children are independent concerns and obviously would require more money, planning, and financial stability.

If you want a huge expensive wedding, then you should either A) get over yourself or B) save money and only pay for what you can afford and then it won't be a problem.
 
There is no right time except when you are ready.

And as to comments about things like finances or school or careers being in order first, if you look at it like that you'll never be married. Life is never going to get to a perfect point where you can do something like marriage. No matter what, marriage is something you have to work at. Staying in love is something you have to work at. And the more problems you overcome together as a couple, the more likely you are to stay together for the long haul.

The majority of people in life long marriages I know actually started young, scrimped and saved their way through college, started families early (as in before graduating) and the deciding factor in it all was both parties being 100% committed to making it work. If you go in 50/50 or with a "we'll see if we can make it" attitude, you are likely doomed from the start.
 
There is no 'right time', it all depends on you, your partner, and what you want out of your life together. Sooner is better if you want kids, but make sure you'll be able to afford a home too (no one wants to honeymoon/live in a broken-down van somewhere).

I'm 26 and recently engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years. We plan to buy a home first, then have a wedding- start with the really important stuff, bascially. We don't want kids, so there's no hurry for that either.
 
[quote name='HeadRusch']Money is a huge issue for getting married, period. Anyone who says differently is under 25 years of age :)

If you're broke, or damn near it....don't get freakin married....it'll be an endless source of stress and hostility in your marriage. (thankfully I haven't had this problem, but I know folks who have).[/QUOTE]I'm over 25 (and married), and I still think money is not an issue for marriage. You can be happily married and broke, and unhappily married and rich. The amount of money shouldn't have anything to do with the quality of marriage; it's how you work together with what you have.
[quote name='SpazX']People are really stupid about marriage/relationships. I think it's too much TV.

I don't see how there's any "right" age. As far as money, unless one of you is unemployed it will cost less to live together than apart, so I don't see how money is an issue for two married people any more than it is for two people who aren't.

Houses and children are independent concerns and obviously would require more money, planning, and financial stability.

If you want a huge expensive wedding, then you should either A) get over yourself or B) save money and only pay for what you can afford and then it won't be a problem.[/QUOTE]What he said.
 
Dunno what crazy Amish world MorPhiend lives in, but getting married before you get an education, being broke, having kids immediately....is pretty much a recipe for marriage disaster.

Logically:
Are you attractive, date alot of women, enjoy going out alot......don't get married.

Are you attractive, but dont date much, don't really care for going out all that much, and enjoy a quieter home life (which is what Marriage generally provides). Get married.

It all comes down to who you are as a person.......but being broke is a strain on everyone....on a marriage its even worse, especially if the two of you aren't on the same page financially....eg: one likes to spend, one likes to save, etc, etc.
 
[quote name='HeadRusch']Dunno what crazy Amish world MorPhiend lives in, but getting married before you get an education, being broke, having kids immediately....is pretty much a recipe for marriage disaster.

Logically:
Are you attractive, date alot of women, enjoy going out alot......don't get married.

Are you attractive, but dont date much, don't really care for going out all that much, and enjoy a quieter home life (which is what Marriage generally provides). Get married.

It all comes down to who you are as a person.......but being broke is a strain on everyone....on a marriage its even worse, especially if the two of you aren't on the same page financially....eg: one likes to spend, one likes to save, etc, etc.[/QUOTE]

My experience trumps your opinion. Over the course of my life I have known more people 40+ years old who have been married longer than they have been not married than people who have been married less than half their lives. The overwhelming majority of these people have been married only once. And as my life has progressed, most of these people are still married today. My own paternal grandparents have been married for 62 years now. And the siblings of both have had likewise lifelong marriages, save one uncle. He is a wealthy player who lives on the California coast who has never been able (or wanted) to keep a girlfriend for long. And he sits and wonders why all of his siblings seem happier than he with all of their health/financial problems and such. This is because judy is right. Marriage is what you make of it.

A perfect marriage doesn't exist and even a really good one you're not going to just fall into. Both people just have to decide that there are going to be tough times, but that they are going to push through them. And you can't have a 60+ year successful, happy marriage if you sit around and wait for "life to be good" before taking the plunge. And I know and have known tons of people who have been married for over 60 years.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's for everyone. For reasons beyond my understanding, some people don't want to be with one person that they can make happy and vice versa. But what I am saying is that anyone can make a marriage work, no matter the age/income/health/other circumstances, etc. It is just a decision. But from my experience, the people who take marriage for all it can be (the ups and the downs included) tend to be the happiest in the end.
 
I'm not disagreeing with you, but I'm saying that people who ignore common sense are doomed to failure. Marriage is tricky as HELL to stick with (as you above state much better than I could, I might add), to add financial burden to the mix is almost like a death knell unless both parties are USED to a lifestyle of struggle. Financial matters are one of the main reasons cited in divorces.....one person spends too much, or they grow too deeply in debt, this turns to anger and mistrust...boom. done.

One other thing we haven't mentioned: Religion and or Moral Upbrinding. People in strong Religious environments are more likely to make a marriage work than those who aren't. If you come from a family or community where Divorce is actually frowned upon, then you will be more likely to work out your problems than simply run for the chutes and pull the ripcord. Some people marry for life, some people marry for convenience.......its like the old David Lee Roth video..."Its my Wedding Night, I might only have 2 or 3 more of these in my whole, entire lifetime!".......

I know guys in their 40's (and women) who are miserable because they are not married. Of course, they are forgetting the endless stream of relationships they've had over the years...always looking for "Something a little bit better".....that the married guys had to miss out on.

Either way, this topic is too deep for CAG :D

In the end two people who love each other can live in near poverty and make the best of it.....but I think that takes a special kind of person to pull that off. And I think 90% of relationships don't have the chops to make a situation like that work.

So get your education, land a decent job and start on a career and THEN think about tying the knot.
I held off on my own wedding until my wife had graduated college and I was out and working, and having health insurance and a steady income was invaluable to starting off life together on the right foot.

There are people who got married before us, immediately had kids, who are still struggling today financially because kids mean a huge $$$ impact...HUGE...daycare? If you're in your 20's that means one of you is giving up your job because you likely wont make more than the out of pocket costs of daycare..then the traveling, the running around, the to and from school, the being-there-at-home-for-them....all that jazz. Then, college expenses.....etc. I mean have your kids at 22 and then try starting your career as a noob in your early to mid 30's......that ain't so great.

Finances should play a factor in any healthy marriage decision, IMHO.
 
[quote name='pacifickarma']Women generally stop sucking shortly after they've been married for awhile.[/QUOTE]

fixed.
 
It's not an age thing.

It's a matter of "Do I want to spend the next 50 to 60 years with this person?"

That's what you're looking at here.
 
@ HeadRusch

I see what you are saying. And I agree to an extent. Of course a marriage without the bother of financial concerns is going to be a lot less difficult in that regard. Money cannot buy happiness. But it sure makes it easier to find happiness if you're not worrying about trying to find money.

But even still, full financial stability is far from necessary for a successful marriage. There is always going to be something. Something hard to deal with. Getting through trials in life makes you grow personally. But if you have to get through those same trials with a spouse not only do you experience personal growth, but you grow stronger as a couple. I would rather have a stronger bond with my wife and have some emotional support through the trials than having to fight those battles alone. And like others have said, living with a spouse should be cheaper than both of you living alone anyway.

Anyway, this is all just evidence of my point that a successful marriage is a decision. It doesn't really matter where you are in life, if both parties are fully committed and remain so throughout their life, the marriage will be sustained.


EDIT:
For anyone looking to improve the relationships in their lives, I recommend John Gottman. Here's a book that will teach you the principles necessary to not only get along in marriage, but also to get along in any other relationship in your life:

http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797

There are so many simple little mistakes people do in communication that sink a marriage that they don't even realize they were guilty of. Not only are finances a major source of marital problems, most marital problems (finances included) lead back to poor communication skills and as a result one or both parties take offense where none was intended to begin with.
 
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[quote name='judyjudyjudy']And my answer to the OP's question is "There is no right age (except maybe over 18)".[/QUOTE]
I married my wife when she was 17.
 
I'm agreeing with never. Don't do it. Unless you have complete mind controller over him/her. In which case you don't need to get married.
 
[quote name='Ziv']I'm agreeing with never. Don't do it. Unless you have complete mind controller over him/her. In which case you don't need to get married.[/QUOTE]

What? Why?
 
Most marriages end cause people don't know what they're getting into. I married young at 23. Age is a factor to consider however it shouldn't be the definitive one.

Here's a hint: live with the person for a while before you marry. You'll learn quick if you can tolerate them for the rest of your life.

Like many people said before: there's no right age. If you decide to marry then do it for the right reasons, not because you simply must.
 
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an ex-friend of mine got married, today actually. He's 19, she's 24, they've been together for a year. They haven't lived together at all, and for the past few months, they have only seen each other on the weekends. He's been texting his ex-girlfriend begging for sex. I only know this because she's shown me the texts. Obviously, this marriage is a huge mistake. This doesn't speak for all young marriages, of course. Marriage should happen when you're mature enough to handle it, which I believe doesn't happen until the late 20's.

Never is a good answer, as well.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']theres no "right" age. you get married when you meet "the one". i have friends who got married at 20, i have friends that got married at 27, i have friends that are over 30 and still dating.[/QUOTE]

That's it. I'm in my mid-twenties and I can't even imagine being married unless it's some kind of insurance scam. Pause. Realistically people have to be done 'sowing the wild oats' or at least be financially secure before committing to a marriage and having kids. In spite of all the Hollywood bullshit a marriage does take work and things seem to run a bit smoother when there's enough money to cover amenities and reasonable expenses. It's one less thing to worry/fight about.
 
I would also like to add that it should become law for anyone under the age of 25 entering into marriage (regardless of other parties age) should be required to sign a prenuptial agreement.
 
THere are some very attractive young brides in my neighborhood, so I'm far more concerned with the right age for extra-marital affairs, vicious divorce, and wild drunken dating on the ex's dime. That would be useful information.
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']Since "never" wasn't an option I said 32-35. Most people aren't financially stable or have any real savings until at least then.[/QUOTE]

lolwut?

I guess if all you are doing is pumping gas for a living, this might be true- but then again- if that's the case- you'd need to just lower what you consider "necissary" for living.

Got married at 25 - wife and I were making plenty and were considered "middle class" with our combined income (over 60K - not going to tell anyone on the interweb exactly how much).
 
What would you all consider a good reason to get married?

Please do not say love or the desire to be with someone forever because you can have that without calling it marraige or signing documents.
 
[quote name='HovaEscobar']What would you all consider a good reason to get married?[/QUOTE]

Happiness. It sounds corny but if you've been with same woman for years and they still make you happy then why not?
 
Get married whenever. Just sign a prenup. Basically a paper that says "You don't get shit if we get a divorce" and have her sign it. Then pray she doesn't win the lotto.
 
For men, anytime they want be it 20s or 40s. Their value goes up as they age. For women your value is in your early 20s. After you hit the big 28 your value starts decreasing worse then Enron. It's not men that are on a biological clock. So I'll be damned if I'm marrying a woman my age. If I'm going to be supporting a freeloader for the rest of my life, I might as well have it look young and only turn old when I'm DEAD.
 
There is no right age. If you love the person and you can see spending the rest of your life w/ them then go for it. You will never be 100% prepared, same deal w/ a kid.
 
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