What's the Best way to Abort a Conversation?

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WinnieThePujols

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Holy crap. I'm staying at my aunt's house watching her dog. They live in an apartment. Acrossed the hall lives another relative of mine. It's actually my uncle's place. Now my uncle's girlfriend is younger, and she just came over here and talked to me. They've been dating for a while, but I've never really talked to her.

She came in here and said something like, "Hey, [your uncle] doesn't have any spices, I'm going to see if [your aunt] does." While she was searching up through the cupboards, she started to rant on about how I reminded her of a cousin that never talked. Then she told me this little story about her and her cousin in a waiting room and she told me about how she transformed him into someone who wouldn't shut up.

I figured she'd leave, but she didn't. I was just sitting here, helpless at the computer. I swear to God she just ranted on for 40 minute while I sat here giving one word responses of, "Yeah," or throwing in a laugh. Do you know how hard it is to provide a generic "sympathy" laugh every 30 seconds for over a half hour?

She ranted about how her mother discussing her sex life to her, her sister being a slut, her dad's dentures, to her being a sound sleeper, amongst many other random things. It was like a never-ending cycle. She'd start a lame ass story, continue on by saying something along the lines of, "Well, I just thought that, I didn't actually say it!" *annoying laughter*

It was like some wicked cliche from a comedy or horror movie. Not because what she was saying it was funny, but just because I was trapped there and couldn't leave.


What's a good way to end a conversation? This wasn't my house, so I couldn't say like, "Oh, I have to go do the dishes," or something.

It was a nightmare.
 
[quote name='Odenat']just put your headphones on or say your phone is on vibrate and pretend talk on it[/QUOTE]

I do not have headphones hear nor do I have a cell phone!
 
you could, you know, not fake conversation?
When people talk to me, I stare at their eyes. I get personal points every time that ruins their train of thought, or they have to look away instead of looking into my eyes (which distracts them further).
 
[quote name='Rich']With a hanger.

Oh..wait, it says a conversation.[/QUOTE]
Hm..at least I wasn't the only one who was thinking that...


You could fake explosive diarrhea and run to the bathroom for a while, and hope the person goes away in that time.
 
[quote name='capitalist_mao']you could, you know, not fake conversation?
When people talk to me, I stare at their eyes. I get personal points every time that ruins their train of thought, or they have to look away instead of looking into my eyes (which distracts them further).[/QUOTE]
lol, I'm exactly the opposite. I only look people square in the eye if I'm truly interested in what they have to say or if I'm saying something to them. Usually people get the hint if you don't give them attention and leave you alone.

In this case, I think your uncle's girlfriend was trying to sex you up. Uncle doesn't have any spices.....sure. Let me look in your cupboard and hang out for 40 minutes talking about nothing. Might as well have asked for a cup of sugar. Usually when women do that they're looking for something other than what they say they are looking for. ahem....
 
[quote name='b0bx13']Hm..at least I wasn't the only one who was thinking that...


You could fake explosive diarrhea and run to the bathroom for a while, and hope the person goes away in that time.[/QUOTE]

At my last job, I actually sorta used this to leave work early...went into the stall for close to 30 minutes, just hanging out, my boss came into the bathroom and asked me if i felt ok..."nope I think I should go home"...sounded good to him!
 
I really don't know what you could do in THAT situation....

But back in college I was the king of getting out of bad conversations.
We used to have lots of parties at my apartment so it became a necessity.
For example:

Some drunk/fugly girl would start talking to me about god-knows-what and I, without listening to what she actually had said, would just say "THAT'S HILARIOUS!" in a really sarcastic voice, blatantly frown and roll my eyes/look to the side, and then just turn away. Usually got a big laugh out of nearby friends too.

Sure, it was a dick move but it got the job done! :lol:
 
Well... assuming you know anyone who'll go through with it and your family wouldn't disown you... have a guy friend come over with you. If she shows up, flirt with him. Answer the door in a towel while he's shirtless if you can.

Other uncomfortable solutions:

-Ask her about her cycle. In detail.
-Compare her to your uncle's previous girlfriends.
-Pick a religion and try to convert her. Preferably something like Satanism or Muslim.
-Pick a medical issue to discuss, like your day-by-day battle with bloody stool.
-GTA and the Hot Coffee mod.
-Hell, watch porn in general.
-Clear the living room and practive martial arts and/or swordplay. If she tries to watch, aim for her.

Obviously, you might wanna inform the relatives of some of these ahead of time.
 
My general strategy is to say something completely out of place and non-sensical and then just stare at them.

Or, and this I used on a cousin at Thanksgiving once, just look at them and say "Have you ever thought about shutting up?" Works like a charm.
 
I've never been one to end a bad conversation well. Not that I really worry about ending it well when it happens because it is rarley with someone I car to talk to. Just the other day this kid started talkin to me at school about the weather and I just walked away.
 
[quote name='rodeojones903']Ask her if she wants to play a game called "just the tip in".[/QUOTE]
MUAHAHA, WEDDING CRASHERS STRIKE AGAIN. "And in the end your just wondering, are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions. Maybe play a little game called 'Just the tip, just for a minute to see how it feels' or 'Ouch, Ouch, your on my hair'."
I love it, way to go jones.
 
A guy I work with had a girl he didnt want to talk to come into the store. They apparently didnt have a good history. To get her to go away quickly the first thing he said to her was, "Wow , have you gained weight or are you pregnant." Solved all his problems. :D
 
You could just, I dunno, deal with having a superficial conversation with her. Think of it as practice for the thousands of glib discussions you'll be forced to have during the rest of your life.
 
[quote name='bmulligan']

In this case, I think your uncle's girlfriend was trying to sex you up. Uncle doesn't have any spices.....sure. Let me look in your cupboard and hang out for 40 minutes talking about nothing. Might as well have asked for a cup of sugar. Usually when women do that they're looking for something other than what they say they are looking for. ahem....[/QUOTE]

maybe we're both pervs, but that's the impression I got too...

While she was searching up through the cupboards, she started to rant on about how I reminded her of a cousin that never talked. Then she told me this little story about her and her cousin in a waiting room and she told me about how she transformed him into someone who wouldn't shut up.
Click to expand...

if that's not the initiation line in a cheesy 80s porn flick, then I don't know what is. she took your cousin's v-card, now she wants yours!
 
Ok, instead of taking it all, you should have started to give some back. I always have tons of inane chatter at my disposal just to annoy people. You should talk about the last thing you ate and describe it in detail. Don't try and be sick, nasty or vulgur. Rather, just bore the shit out of them :D
 
Wait for a moment when you are supposed to respond, then look uncomfortable with a "deer in the headlights" face, wait a few more beats then blurt out...
Banana Hammock!
 
[quote name='masterh']You could just, I dunno, deal with having a superficial conversation with her. Think of it as practice for the thousands of glib discussions you'll be forced to have during the rest of your life.[/QUOTE]

LOL same thing I was thinking.
 
[quote name='WinnieThePujols']She's pregnant with my uncle's baby. I don't think she wanted to have sex.[/QUOTE]

Yea, she doesn't wanna have sex.........she wants to fuck! Chicks get pretty horny when they are pregnant.
 
[quote name='2poor']tell her you ran out of ointment and your herpes is flaring up like crazy.[/QUOTE]


and when your herpes flare up, it makes the syphillis psychosis even worse
 
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you short, but I was just about to start something/head out the door/get ready for a meeting with a frieind/etc."

Always be civil.

And assertive.

And a gentleman.
 
[quote name='WinnieThePujols']I'm one year older than year.[/QUOTE]

Score for your Uncle! Is she teh hot?

And in all seriousness .. I'd say just talk to her. You may find out you enjoy having a conversation with her (which wont be hard to do if she does most of the talking). And the more you talk to her the more you'll find out what you have in common and you wont be as bored the next time.
 
If you want to end these conversations, just be a rude jackass.

Otherwise, deal with it, or talk to her. These sorts of things aren't particularly difficult.
 
The best conversation abortion I ever saw in practice was a friend of mine talking to this girl we both knew would chatter forever. So she started the conversation with "Hey, I got engaged!" He replied "To a man?" rather increduously and that pretty much ended the conversation altogther. I tried really hard not to laugh... and was unsuccessful.
 
All there girls I've known have told me the same thing: Its hard to talk with a dick in your mouth.
 
[quote name='cletus']She seems like the type that can't take a hint.[/QUOTE]


In all fairness though, so does he.

How pregnant is she?
 
[quote name='mellowsmoothe']And a gentleman.[/QUOTE]

ditto... since she's part of the family and you might be seeing a lot of her from here on out, it probably won't be too smart to be rude to her.
 
Ya know, maybe she honestly wants/needs to talk- your uncle marries a girl a year younger than you, then she gets pregnant? it could your uncle's a little miffed about his super-young, 'perky' wife getting ready to pop out a kid, and is giving her the cold shoulder.

Plus hormones. Damn, screwed-up female reprodcutive hormones...
 
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