Who's faster? Flash vs Superman!

[quote name='Abalistar']And from what I understand, Batman has SURVIVED fights with Superman. He hasn't actually won one.[/QUOTE]Supes is a bitch. Bats can take him down anytime, anywhere. :cool:

Especially with a lightsaber. :lol:
 
For deep questions like this I turn to the wisdom of SNL.

From the skit "The death of superman" Sinbad was guest host.

The Flash: Tell me about it. Life is so unfair. You know, Superman could do anything. He could fly, X-ray vision, super-strength.. all I can do is run fast.

Jimmy Olson: Don't say that..

The Flash: No, no, no, it's true! All I canb do is run fast! He can run as fast as me, but he never mentioned that in all these years. Supe, he's a real man, I like that.
 
Superman's Funeral

Jimmy Olson.....Rob Schneider
Hawk Woman.....Melanie Hutsell
Lex Luthor.....Al Franken
Aquaman.....David Spade
The Flash.....Adam Sandler
Green Lantern.....Tim Meadows
Lois Lane.....Julia Sweeney
Batman.....Dana Carvey
Robin.....Chris Rock
Black Lightning.....Sinbad
Mister Fantastic.....Tom Davis
Incredible Hulk.....Chris Farley
Perry White.....Phil Hartman




[ open on Superman's Funeral, Jimmy Olson and Lex Luthor working the door as Hawk Woman and Hawk Man enter ]

Jimmy Olson: Hawk Woman. Hawk Man. Jimmy Olson. Superman's pal.

Hawk Woman: Don't be silly. Of course we know you. Jimmy, it's a terrible thing.

Jimmy Olson: I know. I'm just kind of numb. It's Miss Lane I'm worried about. We'll talk later. [ turns ] Lex, will you seat the Hawks over by the Teen Titans?

Lex Luthor: Certainly. Right this way. [ leads the Hawks through the procession ]

[ Aquaman enters ]

Jimmy Olson: Aquaman! Glad you could make it.

Aquaman: [ holding bowl ] I brought some shrimp. If you need anything else - kelp, seaweed, anything - you just name it.

Jimmy Olson: Thanks so much. [ Aquaman walks off, as The Flash and Green Lantern enter ] Oh, Flash! Green Arrow! I mean.. Green Lantern.. I'm sorry, I'm just barely keeping it together..

The Flash: Tell me about it. Life is so unfair. You know, Superman could do anything. He could fly, X-ray vision, super-strength.. all I can do is run fast.

Jimmy Olson: Don't say that..

The Flash: No, no, no, it's true! All I canb do is run fast! He can run as fast as me, but he never mentioned that in all these years. Supe, he's a real man, I like that.

Lex Luthor: [ walking up ] Uh, gentlemen, may I show you to your seats?

Green Lantern: [ outraged ] Lex Luthor! What are you doing here!

Lex Luthor: [ trying not to smile ] Uh, it's a.. it's a tragedy. a real tragedy.. a great loss.. just a pity.. just.. tragic..

Green Lantern: You don't mean that, do you, Luthor?

Lex Luthor: [ smiling ] Alright, you got me, I'm glad he's dead! He was a worthy arch rival, and I'm here to show my respect, but I gotta tlel oyu, I'm happy he's gone - this should be a great year for me! Right this way. [ shows them to their seats ]

Lois Lane: Jimmy, they're about to start.. still no sign of Clark?

Jimmy Olson: No. Sorry, Miss Lane, looks like Mr. Kent's a no-show again..

[ Batman takes the podium ]

Batman: [ suppressing tears ] Uh.. I'm Batman. Thank you for.. for coming.. I.. I said I wasn't gonna cry! I was fine.. until about a minute ago.. There's nothing more important to Superman than his friends. And looking out at all your.. [ weeps ] fa-aces.. makes me realize.. I'm sorry!

Robin: [ jumping forward ] It's okay, Batman!

Batman: Sorry, Robin.. I can't help it..

Robin: [ weeping ] Oh, man.. here I go.. when I see you cry, it makes me cry-y-y...

[ Black Lightning enters ]

Jimmy Olson: EXcuse me.. excuse me, this is a private service.

Black Lightning: Uh-huh.. no, man, I'm Black Lightning!

Jimmy Olson: Black Lightning?

Black Lightning: Black Lightning! You know me! Me and Superman were like this! [ crosses fingers ] We were tight! I had my own comic book back in the 1970's! i'm the one that taught him how to fly!

Jimmy Olson: Look, I'm sorry.. I'm Superman's pal, I've never heard of you..

Black Lightning: Come on, man.. Black Lightning! I shoot electric charges. There's Batman - he knows me! Yo! Batman! What's up, man! It's me!

[ Batman doesn't recognize him ]

Jimmy Olson: Sorry, Mr. Lightning, uh.. if it were up to me, it would be no problem.. but, you know..

Black Lightning: Oh, it's like that, huh? It's like that?

Jimmy Olson: I'm sorry, you're gonna have to go..

Black Lightning: Alright, man! Why don't you eat some lightning bolts, chump! [ zaps Jimmy with a lightning laser ]

Jimmy Olson: Ow! Alright, man! GET OUT!!

Black Lightning: Hey, man! Get off my case! Chump! [ zaps him again ]

Jimmy Olson: Hey! That stings! NOW, GET OUT!!

Black Lightning: [ yells ] Hey, yo! Black Lightning! [ motions, then exits ]

Batman: [ continuing his eulogy ] Uh.. some people here, from Marvel Comics, have come to pay their respects..

[ Spiderman, Incredible Hulk and Mister Fantastic step up to the podium ]

Incredible Hulk: I.. I wish I.. Hulk not good with words. Hulk write it down. [ takes out sheet of paper, then puts on reading glasses ] "Superman was that rarest of things. Every superhero owes him a debt of gratitude and homage. His life was a super-human expression of the noblest asperations of man. And, in death, he has become the ideal. Of my friend Superman, I can only say this: he was.. my.. hero!" [ removes glasses, near tears ] I.. Hulk.. just.. Hulk.. Hulk just not the same! [ smashes podium to bits ] Enough said.

Jimmy Olson: [ runs up, excited ] I just heard from the Chief of Police! The Legion of Doom's attacking Metropolis Civic Arena!

Perry White: [ jumping up ] Great Caeser's ghost!

Jimmy Olson: You know, I can't help thinking: this looks like a job for Superman..

Batman: Okay. Thank you, Jimmy. We're gonna have to try to carry on without Superman. You understand me okay? Who can fly? [ hands are raised ] Okay, get going! Anybody have super strength? [ hands are raised ] Okay, great! Can anyone here change the rotation of the Earth on its axis? [hands are raised ] Really? That's great! Come on, let's go! Let's do it fdor Superman! runs out with everyone else ]

[ show Black Lightning in the back corner quietly pocketing Aquaman's shrimp for himself ]

Lois Lane: [ close- up ] Oh, that Clark Kent! Where can he be? He's missing Superman's funeral!

[ image of Lois transforms into a coimc book page, as the issue is closed ]
 
[quote name='Kayden']As I recall, there was some kind of dimensional cross over... Anyways, the Flash and Quicksilver did race, but since the Marvel universe doesn't have the "speed force", Flash got raped.


I hate Superman. Lets give some total asstool near unlimited power... :puke:
They raced on the Justice League cartoon, but I think it was a draw again.[/QUOTE]

It was the Marvel vs. DC crossover IIRC. I know they had Lobo vs. Wolverine, Batman vs. Captain America, Wonder Woman vs. Storm, Superman vs. Hulk, Superboy vs. Spiderman ....I think Flash vs. Quicksilver, was one also.

I still have the comics somewhere.

I don't think they raced on the Justice League cartoon, it was Superman the Animated Series. Flash was slightly winning but I believe they had to stop the race due to some evil they had to stop. I'll have to check my DVDs on that one.
 
Its the Flash hands down, but I cant believe all the superhaters, supes can be pretty badass, ever read the Jeph Loeb Superman/Batman stuff, the 1st story arch is sweet, go pick up the first tpb. You will gain new love for the Man of Steel
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']It was the Marvel vs. DC crossover IIRC. I know they had Lobo vs. Wolverine, Batman vs. Captain America, Wonder Woman vs. Storm, Superman vs. Hulk, Superboy vs. Spiderman ....I think Flash vs. Quicksilver, was one also.

I still have the comics somewhere.

I don't think they raced on the Justice League cartoon, it was Superman the Animated Series. Flash was slightly winning but I believe they had to stop the race due to some evil they had to stop. I'll have to check my DVDs on that one.[/QUOTE]

I conceed to your superior geekocity...


Engage mofo! :lol:
 
[quote name='Kayden']I conceed to your superior geekocity...


Engage mofo! :lol:[/QUOTE]

:applause: :lol:

I was probably the only guy in my school that could bridge the gap between jocks and geeks as I was both. :D
 
[quote name='GuilewasNK']I don't think they raced on the Justice League cartoon, it was Superman the Animated Series. Flash was slightly winning but I believe they had to stop the race due to some evil they had to stop. I'll have to check my DVDs on that one.[/QUOTE]

They did - and they start it right before the end of the episode - then the credits role. Dammmmmmit
 
How is this question even being raised? The Flash is the fastest man alive. No contest. He moves so fast he shifted dimensions for heaven's sake. The only one who's occasionally faster than Flash is Zoom, but you wouldn't know that unless you actually read the comics. Don't base it off of the TV shows, like the race where they made Flash into a complete ass. That's BS. Flash is just as dedicated to the sanctity of life as Superman is. (Unless you're talking about Barry, since he killed the original Reverse-Flash).

Anyways, Flash beats out Superman by a longshot. Seriously. Hell, Jay Garrick, Kid Flash, and Max Mercury could all outrun Superman.
 
[quote name='Kayden']As I recall, there was some kind of dimensional cross over... Anyways, the Flash and Quicksilver did race, but since the Marvel universe doesn't have the "speed force", Flash got raped.[/QUOTE]

Actually, Flash won. IIRC, it was a pre-speed force storyline (before they conceived of the idea of the speed force). It came out in 1996. Bow before my geekery as well.:);)
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Actually, Flash won. IIRC, it was a pre-speed force storyline (before they conceived of the idea of the speed force). It came out in 1996. Bow before my geekery as well.:);)[/QUOTE]

I'm still bowing before your pimp force. :lol:

That was second hand knowledge, I dont read much DC.
 
[quote name='Kayden']I'm still bowing before your pimp force. :lol:

That was second hand knowledge, I dont read much DC.[/QUOTE]

There's no pimp force. No need to be special. It's a trainable skill. Anyone willing to learn can do it. :cool:;)
 
[quote name='Kayden']Would bizzaro Flash be the slowest man alive? :whistle2:k[/QUOTE]

what about the Justice Lords Flash vs Superman... oh wait, there isn't a Justice Lords Flash :p
 
[quote name='Mr.Answer']Superman's Funeral

Jimmy Olson.....Rob Schneider
Hawk Woman.....Melanie Hutsell
Lex Luthor.....Al Franken
Aquaman.....David Spade
The Flash.....Adam Sandler

[/QUOTE]
:rofl: I wish I saw that skit
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Actually, Flash won. IIRC, it was a pre-speed force storyline (before they conceived of the idea of the speed force). It came out in 1996. Bow before my geekery as well.:);)[/QUOTE]
Nope, there was a story where Quicksilver and the Flash raced. And it was after the speed force was established, because when they were in the DC Universe Flash owned Quicksilver, but in Marvel Universe Flash couldn't run at all.

I've got the comic somewhere. It was a JLA/Avengers crossovver I think. I remember Superman using Cap America's shield... But that was definately after the introduction of the speed force. So yeah, I'm right. You're wrong. Phear me.

I'll look up the issue if you'd like. I should have it somewhere.
 
[quote name='Mouse']Nope, there was a story where Quicksilver and the Flash raced. And it was after the speed force was established, because when they were in the DC Universe Flash owned Quicksilver, but in Marvel Universe Flash couldn't run at all.

I've got the comic somewhere. It was a JLA/Avengers crossovver I think. I remember Superman using Cap America's shield... But that was definately after the introduction of the speed force. So yeah, I'm right. You're wrong. Phear me.

I'll look up the issue if you'd like. I should have it somewhere.[/QUOTE]

Don't bother. It's in issue #2 pg 41. The only thing I can truly concede to you is the establishment of the speed force. However, you're not taking into consideration a few things. First, the JLA/Avengers storyline may have come out in 2003 but it was conceived in 1983. Second, the DC vs. Marvel came out in 1996 and establishes that as the first time they 'officially' met as any previous interactions were retroactively negated. Third, Pietro still had his speed in the DC universe while Flash had no speed force in the Marvel Universe so it's hardly a fair fight. So the DC vs. Marvel fight would be the more 'fair' fight between the two speedsters. Here are the pics in question:

JLA/Avengers #2 pg 33 (DC universe: race to Darkseid's Infinity Gauntlet)


JLA/Avengers #2 pg 41 (Quickie gets Cosmic Cube after Flash slowly diminishes of Speed Force)


DC vs. Marvel #2 pg 25 (Flash says Quicksilver might be the fastest in his universe but...)



DC vs. Marvel #2 pg 27 (Flash puts Quickie to sleep thus concluding the battle)


Thus, you may commence sucking my larger and moldier geeky e-penis. :rofl:
 
This does however, prove me right. I said they raced and Flash got raped because of the lack of speed force. I didn't mention anything about a fair fight.


[quote name='jaykrue']Don't bother. It's in issue #2 pg 41. The only thing I can truly concede to you is the establishment of the speed force. However, you're not taking into consideration a few things. First, the JLA/Avengers storyline may have come out in 2003 but it was conceived in 1983. Second, the DC vs. Marvel came out in 1996 and establishes that as the first time they 'officially' met as any previous interactions were retroactively negated. Third, Pietro still had his speed in the DC universe while Flash had no speed force in the Marvel Universe so it's hardly a fair fight. So the DC vs. Marvel fight would be the more 'fair' fight between the two speedsters. Here are the pics in question:

JLA/Avengers #2 pg 33 (DC universe: race to Darkseid's Infinity Gauntlet)


JLA/Avengers #2 pg 41 (Quickie gets Cosmic Cube after Flash slowly diminishes of Speed Force)


DC vs. Marvel #2 pg 25 (Flash says Quicksilver might be the fastest in his universe but...)



DC vs. Marvel #2 pg 27 (Flash puts Quickie to sleep thus concluding the battle)


Thus, you may commence sucking my larger and moldier geeky e-penis. :rofl:[/QUOTE]
 
[quote name='Kayden']This does however, prove me right. I said they raced and Flash got raped because of the lack of speed force. I didn't mention anything about a fair fight.[/QUOTE]

Only if the dimensional crossever you're referring to is JLA/Avengers as I thought you were referring to the DC vs. Marvel one.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Only if the dimensional crossever you're referring to is JLA/Avengers as I thought you were referring to the DC vs. Marvel one.[/QUOTE]

I was talking about whichever one makes me right. :lol:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']It's like a damn nerd-off in here. I'm really glad I can't participate. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Yea, but you generally sweep the pedo-offs.
 
[quote name='sying']OT but Superman totally beat Aquaman at his own game... refering to teh episode of Smallville[/QUOTE] Wait... Aquaman was on Smallville? If he was, I seriously need to see the episode.
 
[quote name='Abalistar']Wait... Aquaman was on Smallville? If he was, I seriously need to see the episode.[/QUOTE]

Episode 4 of the 5th (this year's) season called Aqua. Go here and click on 'episodes' and then 'fifth season' if you just want a summary:

http://www.kryptonsite.com/
 
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