Worst turn-down lines

Xevious

Xevious

CAGiversary!
I thought this was an interesting article on MSN.com. I'm glad its never happened to me - Xevious

Guys reveal: The worst turn-down I ever got was...

By Caitlin Ascolese

Rejection is never fun, is it? Comfort yourself with A) the harshly worded "thanks but no thanks" that some poor guys got, below, as gathered in a Match.com survey, and B) the knowledge that some of the women who dole out these turn-downs are, well, a little bit nuts. We asked Lillian Glass, Ph.D., communications expert and author of I Know What You're Thinking, to assess these women's excuses. And for once, guys, it might really be them and not you!

"I was told that I'm too neat. Neat?!" —Gary, 56, Toronto, ON

Dr. Glass: "She probably has sloppy tendencies, and she's worried that he'll judge her."

"She told me it wasn't a good idea because she was anemic and was having her period." —Joe, 54, Justin, TX

Dr. Glass: "Oh, God! I'm embarrassed just hearing that. That's too much information. She doesn't censor herself, so she could be a true embarrassment in front of other people."

"She didn't think her father and I would get along." —Curtis, 43, Jacksonville, FL

Dr. Glass: "Daddy's girl! The rejection was a blessing in disguise. There would be too many family issues that would intrude on a relationship."

"One woman told me I was too intelligent for her. Sure." —Ray, 37, Raleigh, NC

Dr. Glass: "Kissing only takes up half a percentage of the date time-wise, so you have to talk, and she seems either insecure or hostile. But let's note that no opinion is formed in a vacuum, and he probably said something that made her feel insecure about herself and brought out the worst in her."

"A woman told me she was probably going to be too tired the night I asked her out…but she told me this two days ahead of time." —Kevin, 41, Dallas, TX

Dr. Glass: "Barring any medical difficulties, because a lot of people do have health issues, this is passive-aggressive and, really, pretty hostile."

"A girl I liked said she wouldn't date people born the same month she was." —Greg, 22, Wilmington, DE

Dr. Glass: "If she was being truthful and is such a strong believer in astrology, it'd be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and the relationship wouldn't work. So why even bother?"

"A girl said that her car broke down and gave me a big, long story about what was wrong. Only problem? I have a car and could have driven her. Plus, I'm a mechanic." —Wally, 20, Chicago, IL

Dr. Glass: "Simply put, she may well be a liar and her car may not have been broken. When you talk too much—when you give too many details, too much information—you're lying."

"She told me she had to go buy the donuts for her Singles with STDs group. Point taken." —Greg, 32, San Diego, CA

Dr. Glass: "That's evil! I mean, come on—she really wanted to keep him away. She's got a great sense of humor, but she's on a power trip and uses it as a weapon. The hair-washing excuse is like using a fly-swatter on a guy; this is like using an Uzi."

Freelance writer Caitlin Ascolese is notoriously bad at giving guys honest shoot-downs; she tends to just dodge their advances instead.
 
[quote name='Xevious']Dr. Glass: "The hair-washing excuse is like using a fly-swatter on a guy; this is like using an Uzi." [/quote]
:lol:
 
lol, those are pretty sad.

but, there *aren't* any good ways to turn down someone, unless you lie and say you're seeing someone...>.>
 
[quote name='tauruskatt']lol, those are pretty sad.

but, there *aren't* any good ways to turn down someone, unless you lie and say you're seeing someone...>.>[/quote]

Thats true. But still, I prefer someone make up a good lie than to hear any of the ones in the original post.
 
[quote name='Dr Mario Kart']at least they dont accept your invitation and then dont pick up the phone after that. bitches always cause trouble.[/quote]

Haven't had that happen, but I know people who do that. I don't get why they just don't turn them down, instead of giving them their phone number and just not answering. Seriously, if I ask someone out I should at least get the courtesy of people told they're not interested, instead of being lied to.
 
[quote name='Dr Mario Kart']at least they dont accept your invitation and then dont pick up the phone after that. bitches always cause trouble.[/quote]

Thats happened to me the most. I never get a flat-out turn down line. But I do get the run around on the phone. I noticed it happens more with California Girls than Girls in the midwest. I think its kinda adds to the stereotype that Californians are flakely.
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23'][quote name='Dr Mario Kart']at least they dont accept your invitation and then dont pick up the phone after that. bitches always cause trouble.[/quote]

Haven't had that happen, but I know people who do that. I don't get why they just don't turn them down, instead of giving them their phone number and just not answering. Seriously, if I ask someone out I should at least get the courtesy of people told they're not interested, instead of being lied to.[/quote]

It's an ego thing.

As for me... I'm rarely ever interested in guys, at all. But, I love to flirt, and know that I'm good enough to control them.
 
[quote name='Lina'][quote name='alonzomourning23'][quote name='Dr Mario Kart']at least they dont accept your invitation and then dont pick up the phone after that. bitches always cause trouble.[/quote]

Haven't had that happen, but I know people who do that. I don't get why they just don't turn them down, instead of giving them their phone number and just not answering. Seriously, if I ask someone out I should at least get the courtesy of people told they're not interested, instead of being lied to.[/quote]

It's an ego thing.

As for me... I'm rarely ever interested in guys, at all. But, I love to flirt, and know that I'm good enough to control them.[/quote]

There's something better than emotional control to love yourself for.
 
[quote name='Lina']
As for me... I'm rarely ever interested in guys, at all. But, I love to flirt, and know that I'm good enough to control them.[/quote]

I usually give women 2 chances. If I call them twice and they are not serious about going out, I drop them and move on to the next girl. That way, I can weed out women like Lina.
 
[quote name='Xevious'][quote name='Lina']
As for me... I'm rarely ever interested in guys, at all. But, I love to flirt, and know that I'm good enough to control them.[/quote]

I usually give women 2 chances. If I call them twice and they are not serious about going out, I drop them and move on to the next girl. That way, I can weed out women like Lina.[/quote]

That's the way to be. :)

Although, I'd only bother calling once.

I know I probably sound like a bitch by saying what I did... but, that's just how things are.

Please note that we can't ask out any guys at all, or even openly admit we're interested in them, without being known as a slut.
 
[quote name='Lina']
That's the way to be. :)

Although, I'd only bother calling once.[/quote]
No. I call twice. Sometimes the lady has a legit reason for not returning my call.

[quote name='Lina']
I know I probably sound like a bitch by saying what I did... but, that's just how things are.[/quote]

Most guys will think you are a bitch for saying that but I don't. I also think thats the way of the world. Its not pleasant...but its something I've accepted due to experience.

[quote name='Lina']
Please note that we can't ask out any guys at all, or even openly admit we're interested in them, without being known as a slut.[/quote]

That may not be necessarily true. If you act skanky or slutty, then most guys will think you are a skank or a slut. On the other hand if a nice girl asked me out, then I might consider her something special.

Its all a matter of perception really.
 
[quote name='Lina']
Please note that we can't ask out any guys at all, or even openly admit we're interested in them, without being known as a slut.[/quote]

That's not the case where I live. I don't know anyone who think only sluts show interest in men. There's a difference.
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23'][quote name='Lina']
Please note that we can't ask out any guys at all, or even openly admit we're interested in them, without being known as a slut.[/quote]

That's not the case where I live. I don't know anyone who think only sluts show interest in men. There's a difference.[/quote]

I agree.
Of all the women who have asked me out and/or shown obvious interest in me, I thought only one of them was a slut, and that's because she was sleeping around with multiple people all the time, and sometimes at the same time. But even then I felt compassion for her, because she was aching to fill a void and many guys were taking advantage of her out of self-centered lust.
Anyway, you don't sound like a bitch; you sound like someone who desires control over others.
 
Yes, I'm mean and controlling. :p

I'm also only 20, probably younger than most of you... since you actually buy stuff. I hope I'm nearing the age where these petty reputations begin to fade away.
 
[quote name='Lina']Yes, I'm mean and controlling. :p

I'm also only 20, probably younger than most of you... since you actually buy stuff. I hope I'm nearing the age where these petty reputations begin to fade away.[/quote]

That's why I hated high school, reputations and cliques. From friends I've heard small colleges are like that as well, just not as bad. That's why I love going to a large university, when I meet someone new they don't know a damn thing about me. Their impression of me comes from what I do when I meet them.
 
[quote name='Lina']
It's an ego thing.

As for me... I'm rarely ever interested in guys, at all. But, I love to flirt, and know that I'm good enough to control them.[/quote]

*shudders* Oh gawd... I've got a friend like you. I also don't see her anymore cuz she decided to pull that crap with a guy I liked- once he figured it out, we started dating and pretty much cut her out entirely.

You should be careful, or you'll end up very alone...
 
Ah ha! A full confession! Admittance is the first step to recovery young one :razz:. A common misconception is that "controlling" = "controlling and hideously cruel uber-psycho bitch of the year." Not so. It just means you enjoy exerting control over guys in subtle ways they'll never know about "for their own good". Some refer to this as "training." Many honest women I've talked to about it admit it.

As for your problemo, on the whole guys are completely lazy. Slugs, if you will. That's why it takes so long for us to grow up! We know it takes too much work to mature, and then when we are mature we know we are going to have to work even harder to stay that way. It's sad, really.

Therefore, unfortunately for us all, the reputations won't fade away because the immaturity from whence they spring follows young men into adulthood and doesn't loose its grip until after 25. And that's being generous. Watch the threads with male-female problems and you'll see what I mean.
 
LOL, I won't be alone.

I'm actually more attracted to girls than guys... which is why I said that before.

Although, I never want to get married.
 
[quote name='Lina']LOL, I won't be alone.

I'm actually more attracted to girls than guys... which is why I said that before.

Although, I never want to get married.[/quote]

I know lots of lesbians (I live in the Bay Area you know) and they dont flirt with men.

Sounds like you need to experiment with women more before you decide what you really want.
 
[quote name='Xevious'][quote name='Lina']LOL, I won't be alone.

I'm actually more attracted to girls than guys... which is why I said that before.

Although, I never want to get married.[/quote]

I know lots of lesbians (I live in the Bay Area you know) and they dont flirt with men.

Sounds like you need to experiment with women more before you decide what you really want.[/quote]

She sounded bi to me.
 
More bi than anything, Lina is.

I don't mind the girl asking me out. Hell, I enjoy when that happens. It doesn't mean she's a slut. If she asks me to come in her house with her, then she's a slut. But asking out, no, I don't mind, I prefer it sometimes.. and speaking of first, I hate ALWAYS making the first move. I need to find an aggressive chick, almost all the ones here are submissive.. you know, you say jump, they say how high.. it's fun for a few weeks.. then it just gets old.
 
[quote name='Scorch']More bi than anything, Lina is.

I don't mind the girl asking me out. Hell, I enjoy when that happens. It doesn't mean she's a slut. If she asks me to come in her house with her, then she's a slut. But asking out, no, I don't mind, I prefer it sometimes.. and speaking of first, I hate ALWAYS making the first move. I need to find an aggressive chick, almost all the ones here are submissive.. you know, you say jump, they say how high.. it's fun for a few weeks.. then it just gets old.[/quote]

My problem is it's way too difficult for me to make the first move, it's just not in me. Usually by the time I do it's too late. It's so much better when someone actually asks me or at least lets me know they're interested. I think way too much. I'd probably do much better as a women, or dating men.
 
I'm very aggressive, but it's just not accepted here to make the first move. It has worked once for me before, but generally, it just gets uneasy stares when I do it. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm taller than most guys, and scare them off the bat.

And yes, I'm bi. I prefer screwing around with girls, but all my emotional relationships are with guys. Which is a big reason relationships are hard for me lol.
 
[quote name='Lina']I'm very aggressive, but it's just not accepted here to make the first move. It has worked once for me before, but generally, it just gets uneasy stares when I do it. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm taller than most guys, and scare them off the bat.[/quote]

That really intimidates some guys, who are used to the "around-the-back alley-oop pass" (passive) method rather than the "Damn! I just dunked over your short a**!" (aggressive) approach. I find aggressive 10x more interesting though.

[quote name='Lina']
And yes, I'm bi. I prefer screwing around with girls, but all my emotional relationships are with guys. Which is a big reason relationships are hard for me lol.[/quote]
What are the benefits of a woman, such as yourself, dating a woman over a man dating a woman?
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']
My problem is it's way too difficult for me to make the first move, it's just not in me. Usually by the time I do it's too late. It's so much better when someone actually asks me or at least lets me know they're interested. I think way too much. I'd probably do much better as a women, or dating men.[/quote]

Confidence is the key, isn't it? That becomes a problem when you can't get your courage to perform. Not very attractive to the opposite gender, ya know?
Don't worry man; it doesn't mean you're alone. It does mean, however, that the likleyhood of becoming an Intellectual Whore multiplies exponentially in ratio to your lack of confidence in each instance. Take it from experience. Note: Female friends does not = gay
 
[quote name='Aaron'][quote name='alonzomourning23']
My problem is it's way too difficult for me to make the first move, it's just not in me. Usually by the time I do it's too late. It's so much better when someone actually asks me or at least lets me know they're interested. I think way too much. I'd probably do much better as a women, or dating men.[/quote]

Confidence is the key, isn't it? That becomes a problem when you can't get your courage to perform. Not very attractive to the opposite gender, ya know?
Don't worry man; it doesn't mean you're alone. It does mean, however, that the likleyhood of becoming an Intellectual Whore multiplies exponentially in ratio to your lack of confidence in each instance. Take it from experience. Note: Female friends does not = gay[/quote]

I didn't think I was alone, and I know my sexual preferences but at the same time I really don't care. It's just that I'm not the most confident or a take charge kind of guy. I'm not afraid of women or anything, I have no problem interacting and having conversations, it's just taking that step, the assumption that they would want my advance. When I do take that step I'm not exactly quivering either, I just finally managed to convince myself that I have a shot. The last person I asked out I intended to ask the previous 6 or 7 times I saw them but for various reasons (talked myself out of it, too indecisive etc.) I didn't. It's really a self esteem issue more than anything else. It's one of those things that I know I'm not happy unless I do, but I'm usually not confident enough to do it. It's something I've dealt with, and continue to deal with, though I've gotten much better since I moved out on my own.
 
[quote name='Lina']I'm very aggressive, but it's just not accepted here to make the first move. It has worked once for me before, but generally, it just gets uneasy stares when I do it. Plus, it doesn't help that I'm taller than most guys, and scare them off the bat.

And yes, I'm bi. I prefer screwing around with girls, but all my emotional relationships are with guys. Which is a big reason relationships are hard for me lol.[/quote]

Good luck to you Lina. I already went through my 20s dating scene and I know how crazy things may be. All I can suggest is to keep an open mind. Sometimes guys (or girls) you might not consider dating material have a habit of becoming dating material.

Thats all I that advise I can give you.
 
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