shortly after I started my new job I decided I'd try the 'other' door that went out the back of the building to see what was there. it occurred to me just a hair too late that the door would lock behind me and it was after hours so no one was in the building. naturally there were giant stone walls that prevented easily walking around to the front of the building and going straight forward led to a multi-story drop directly on to the highway. I swiped my badge and I didn't have access to unlock the door, so I had to jump off the precipice a hundred feet on to a moving car and then hop from moving car to moving car (a maneuver known as 'the reverse frogger') to traverse the dangerous highway. when I reached the other side, much to my disbelief, I was met with a family of hungry cougars. it seemed they were displaced from their homes by a different but similar looking bald man with a beard and were feeling vengeful. I considered running, but I knew that I could never outrun them so my only choice was to fight. fortunately in boy scouts I had completed most of the requirements for the wildlife rasslin badge so I was prepared. more prepared than they were at least. two of them were down instantly. the third sprung at me and a claw slashed my arm. I quickly grabbed a plastic bag from the pile of litter on the ground and made a makeshift tourniquet, and in the same move swung my arm around with a stunning backfist that took the cougar off-guard and knocked him out. the last one? well, I had plans for the last one. he looked confident. the eldest male. a couple playful swipes. after the third one I deftly grabbed his paw, twisted his leg and held him to the ground. I explained as quickly as I could that he was going to take me back to my office and help me scale the wall that blocked my return home or he would meet a fate much worse than his siblings. the look in my eyes was clear - I meant business. he reluctantly allowed me to mount him as I would a steed and we reverse froggered back across the highway, vertically scaling the 100 foot drop back up to the office. the cougar was clearly worn but I would not relent. I allowed him a brief moment to collect himself and then pointed him at the rock wall. we launched at it with the speed of a bullet but the cougar had a different plan - at the last moment he bucked and launched me off his back and over the wall, laughing as I crashed face first in to the dirt above. he flipped the bird at me and jetted back down to the highway to attend to his clan.
so now I only go out the doors I come in, I don't need to explore.