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When Kendrick Lamar says, put a baby in a spiral, is he talking like when Joe Montana throws the old pigskin to Jer… https://t.co/MfN3FMIQLy

This joke. I stand by it. https://t.co/FHbfpUVWMG

https://t.co/9ksh8coNYr

Crop dusting all the real housewives of Corvallis at this Safeway right now. Fuck with me.

I might go to Uncle Acid and the deadbeats at Roseland Theater in Portland, OR - Mar 20 https://t.co/L3O96egsU2

Paradolia @ Keizer, Oregon https://t.co/nTHyaZVVTa

Do I have to play the other 13 Call of Duty games before I play Black Ops 3?

To the developers of the simulation that we live in, I have some balance suggestions for the classes and I'd say we're due for an update.

If I vote for Trump ironically, it doesn't count right?

This video is my official endorsement for Donald Trump. Art needs something to rebel against. #makepunkgreatagain https://t.co/enIq5prqKi

I will never afford to see a Broadway musical, but I just watched the opening to the Lion King in VR and it was almost good enough.

Enough with the clown stuff ya'll. They are whimsical characters meant to bring joy. And I will punch every one that comes close to me.

The closer you get to something, the harder it becomes to tell whether it's brilliant or tragic. #im14andthisisdeep

George Clinton for president. #onenationunderagroove #paintthewhitehouseblack

What you mistake for incompetence, is really me being a quiet storm. I'm a PSP copy of 'Tempest' in a teacup. #jokeneedsexplaining

Where did you get your news sources, a cracker jack box?

I heard 3rd person was ok, but first person with no cockpit is where things get really dicey. Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

I see smoke rising in the distance, maybe it's my work.

75℅ of being a comic is telling people that the status you just posted had nothing to do with your previous interactions with them.

Someone told me that Seal was Sting in blackface, and that I should stop writing my characters as racists.