ONE CHINESE PERSON WALKS INTO A BAR IN AMERICA LATE ONE NIGHT AND HE SAW STEVEN SPIELBERG. AS HE WAS A GREAT FAN OF HIS MOVIES, HE RUSHES OVER TO HIM, AND ASKS FOR HIS AUTOGRAPH. INSTEAD, SPIELBERG GIVES HIM A SLAP AND SAYS, "YOU CHINESE PEOPLE BOMBED OUR PEARL HARBOR, GET OUT OF HERE”. THE ASTONISHED CHINESE MAN REPLIED, "IT WAS NOT THE CHINESE WHO BOMBED YOUR PEARL HARBOR, IT WAS THE JAPANESE". "CHINESE, JAPANESE, TAIWANESE, YOU'RE ALL THE SAME," REPLIED SPIELBERG. IN RETURN, THE CHINESE GIVES SPIELBERG A SLAP AND SAYS, "YOU SANK THE TITANIC; MY FOREFATHERS WERE ON THAT SHIP”. SHOCKED, SPIELBERG REPLIES, "IT WAS THE ICEBERG THAT SANK THE SHIP, NOT ME". THE CHINESE REPLIES, "ICEBERG, SPIELBERG, CARLSBERG, YOU'RE ALL THE SAME
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A Korean National emigrated to USA. On his first day he saw a Hotdog cart, "Yummy!" He thought. When he saw the Hotdogs he turned away in disgust. "That's sick! We don't eat THAT part!"
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A chinese student was involved in a fight and got beaten. He then ran to his master;
Student: Master, Master, dem beat me
Master: Dem beat you?
Student: Yes, Master
Master: Take me to the people wen beat you
The student took the master to the people who beat him and there they were, some GIGANTIC fellows.
Student: Master, see the people wen beat me
Master: This people beat you?
Student: Yes, Master
Master: Osallobua no go let you put me for wahala!
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"How do you know if a Chinese person has robbed your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later, the ****er is still trying to back out of your driveway."
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Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding (who you hiding)
See me A.S.A.P. - Kum Hia Nao (come here now)
Small Horse - Tai Ni Po Ni (tiny pony)
Your price is too high - No Bai Dam Thing (no buy damn thing)
Did you go to the beach - Wai Yu So Tan (why you so tan)
I bumped into a coffee table - Ai slam Mai Ni (i slam my knee)
I think you need a facelift - Chin Tu Fat (chin too fat)
It's very dark in here - Wai So Dim? (why so dim)
Has your flight been delayed? - Hao Long Wei Ting? (how long waiting)
That was an unauthorized execution.- Lin Ching (lynching)
I thought you were on a diet - Wai Yu Mun Ching? (why you munching)
This is a tow away zone. - No Pah King (no parking)
You are not very bright - Yu So Dum (you're so dumb)
I got this for free - Ai No Pei (i no pay)
I am not guilty - Wai Hang Mi? (why hang me)
Please, stay a while longer - Wai Go Nao? (why go now)
Our meeting was scheduled for next week - Wai Yu Kum Nao (why you come now)
They have arrived - Hia Dei Kum ( here they come)
Stay out of sight - Lei Lo (lay low)
He's cleaning his automobile - Wa Shing Ka (washing car)
Does this bathroom stink! Hu Flung Dung? (
)
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This Chinese man and his chinese wife moved to Lagos, Nigeria. The wife got pregnant and nine-months later, gave birth to a black boy
The chinese man named the baby...''sum tin wong''
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The following coversation ensued between a kung-fu student and his master on the first day of training
Master: Chung yi, look sky....whay you see?
Chung yi: master, I see nothing.
The master repeats...
Chung yi: I say...look sky! What you see?
Chung yi: Master, I see nothing
Master, now getting furious...
Master: Chung yi, don't you see white chinese monk beat red ninja?!?!
Chung yi: Ahh master.....now I see! I see.
Master: ...Chung yi... you lie.
