26 yrs old, never a g/f (UPDATED)

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Update:
Well, I have taken your advice and have gone out and become more social. I have started dating a girl I met through my brother who is smokin' hot but I'm sure she isn't looking for a real boyfriend. On top of that, the girl I like at work has become quite interested in me since I started dating this other girl even thought she ignored all my advances before. Also, I have this friend (who is a girl) that I like only as friends. I thought our friendship was a mutual thing but she forced herself on me the other night at her place and told me the only thing holding her back was me being an athiest. I ran out of there and have not talked to her since. And to top it all off, my buddy gave my number to this half- japanese girl who thought I was cute and she has been calling me a ton! I have a prepay phone and between the girl I'm dating (who enjoys talking on the phone) and that girl, I have used up my two months worth of minutes in less than a week. I has only been a little more over a month since I originally posted this and things are already looking better.

So, going out and being social does help. I knew this, you CAG'ers knew this. It was just time that I got back out there and started playing the game again.

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Original Post:
So, I'm 26 and will be 27 in April. Once I thought I was in love but I'm not sure I know what love is. That being said, I've never had a girlfriend.

First let me start by pointing out that I'm not gay. Also, I'm not the stereo-typical "parents basement living, overweight" person that most people associate with gamers. In fact, I don't live at home (but it makes sense since I am 26 years old) and I'm in decent shape since I've been prepping for the police academy. And did I mention that besides work and school that I don't go out at all? Because, I don't. I'm not very social and I don't have any friends besides my roommate. I have some buddies at work but don't talk to them outside of work. Also, I don't talk to anyone at school.

I do realize some people are just socially autistic and destined to be alone. Maybe I am one of those people? Because sometimes, quite frankly, I get lonely and depressed. I've tried to rationalize that having someone, depending on someone, was a sign of weakness. And I know there are guys that sleep around and are afraid to commit but I'm not one of those guys. Quite truthfully, my sexual encounters have been few and far between. Although I'm sure that fact was evident without me telling you guys. Is there something wrong with me? Am I destined to be alone?


P.S. I do realize talking about this stuff on a message board is sort of pathetic but I really don't have anyone to talk to. I know I don't fit in to the CAG clique (sblymnlcrymnl, punqsux, javeryh, etc.) but I'll take any advice I can get.
 
What do YOU think the problem is?

I mean, bro, c'mon, you should have at least one friend that you can go knock back a few beers with and holla at some bitches. Something.

Normally I'd say you'd need a "slump buster", you know, some dirty chick that lets you empty your bag into her mouth because you said you liked her shoes but, oh no, this right here is some serious issues.

Maybe we play some DOA 4 later on and I can hear your rap and see if I can't figure out why you aint gettin' the pussy.
 
Although you aren't really looking (literally), and for the lack of a better term, what is it that you're looking for?
 
How do you perform in social settings? Some people have difficulty even holding conversations for short periods, or just have memerized a communication pattern, which may work for the first meeting or so, but after that they have absolutely nothing to say.

You know a lot more about yourself than anyone here. But if you think you have problems getting yourself to interact with people (ie. you want to but for one reason or another you can never convince yourself to when the opportunity arises), or have problems communicating with people etc. you may want to try some form of therapy. From what you've said though, I think you may need actual help in learning how to be more social, especially since you are saying you aren't happy with the way things are.

Though reinforcing your behavior, by trying to convince yourself needing people was a sign of weakness, sounds counterproductive.
 
There are two things that don't come knockin' on your front door, jobs and pussy. You gotta get out there and put rubber to the road if you're gonna make shit happen in either case.
 
well u gotta start making the effort to make friends, those work buddies are a good start. Once you can make friends you can try making a girlfriend. You can consider making friends practice for the real thing. Worst comes to worst you could try one of those dating things online, I guess it could be worth a shot if you are really desperate. Remember you're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog gone it people like you.

I don't fit in to the CAG clique (sblymnlcrymnl, punqsux, javeryh, etc.)
Click to expand...
ohh and thats one intersting clique that going on there, sounds like a party in Cheapys hot tub to me
 
[quote name='thingsfallnapart']Being alone isn't the worst thing in the world. You can be a lot more productive to human society going about your buissness alone.[/QUOTE]

But every now and again some pussy cures what ails ya.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']But every now and again some pussy cures what ails ya.[/QUOTE]

What's attatched to it (around the skull region), not so much... Unless she's a mute.
 
You just get with the wrong bitches, but your story is one for another topic.

Right now we're focused on No Pussy McNeverSexes over here.
 
First off, there are worse things than being alone. Though as that's obviously not what you want, you need to just get out there and act like you don't give a fuck.

Secondly, I'm not sure if I should be flattered that you mentioned me, but really, you shouldn't. I don't really contribute anything meaningful to the site, I just spend alot of time online. 20,000 posts of dead weight, right fucking here. :lol:
 
You probably do need to increase your social network. As Ikohn4ever said, work and school should be enough to give you some practice with socializing. Would it be weird for you to start socializing with your work buddies outside of work? A lot of my coworkers do things like happy hours and poker nights, so that seems pretty feasible. Also along the lines of online dating stuff, why not go to chat rooms and such? You seem to have no problem communicating in message boards, so maybe you can talk to people online. I know meeting people online can be sketchy, but it has worked for some people.

Are you going to be a cop? If so, I'd think you meet a lot of people in the police force, and girls love a man in uniform... :)
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']

Right now we're focused on No Pussy McNeverSexes over here.[/QUOTE]

Lmao! Thanks. I was actually hoping you'd post here.
 
I like how everyone that chimes in that it's OK to be alone are people that don't have a choice. Where's Crash to tell us that it's sweet not having female companionship.

I don't know what the fuck makes some of you people tick but God Damn if I would rather be alone than with some chick.
 
And did I mention that besides work and school that I don't go out at all? Because, I don't. I'm not very social and I don't have any friends besides my roommate. I have some buddies at work but don't talk to them outside of work. Also, I don't talk to anyone at school.
Click to expand...
Mirrored, for you to see the truth.

Start by making small talk with the people around you. The clerk at the store, your classmates, your roommate's hot sister, whoever. The point is if you don't take the initiative to get out there and do it, it's not going to come any easier. Sure you'll get turned down or ignored a couple of times, but chalk that up to experience and learn from what you did wrong. Turn it into something positive and make it better for next time.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']I like how everyone that chimes in that it's OK to be alone are people that don't have a choice.[/QUOTE]In my case it's a choice, and a rather easy one at that.
 
Really though you need to go out with your roommate. Tell him your problems, then he should help you at the bar. This is the best place to start. Go to a bar in the afternoon. Shoot the shit with the bartender do that for a few days. Different bars everyday, this will help you get comfortable socializing. Then go to bars at night and talk to women. I mean come the fuck on it can't be that hard to talk to someone. Your talking to strangers right now, is this not a step towards you goal?
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']I don't really contribute anything meaningful to the site, I just spend alot of time online. 20,000 posts of dead weight, right fucking here. :lol:[/QUOTE]


well I knew someone was going to say that eventually, but i didnt think it was going to be you :)
 
I'm not much of a party animal now that I'm out of college, but I understand the fact that you do need to make SOME effort to meet people. If you sit at home and whine about it on the internet, nothing's going to change. Close up the laptop, take a shower, and go out somewhere. ANYWHERE. Hell, take your DS (or PSP....I GUESS) to Starbucks or MacShack for some Mario Kart online and you might meet your future wife.

I will give you this bit of advice, however:

If for any reason you become an English teacher in Japan and you live in a town full of ONLY children and the elderly, don't date the hot English Teacher who's 5 years older than you because she crushed my heart on fuckING CHRISTMAS DAY YOU HEARTLESS BITCH I HATE YOU!

Er.......yeah, just keep yer pants on at work....um........good luck! :D
 
[quote name='Graystone']Really though you need to go out with your roommate. Tell him your problems, then he should help you at the bar. [/QUOTE]

My roommate is also not very social. He has like 4 buddies he talks to on a constant basis and that is it. I don't think I've ever seen him go to a bar or a club or either. I certainly don't have the balls to go to a bar by myself.
 
[quote name='Gameboy415']I'm not much of a party animal now that I'm out of college, but I understand the fact that you do need to make SOME effort to meet people. If you sit at home and whine about it on the internet, nothing's going to change. Close up the laptop, take a shower, and go out somewhere. ANYWHERE. Hell, take your DS (or PSP....I GUESS) to Starbucks or MacShack for some Mario Kart online and you might meet your future wife.

I will give you this bit of advice, however:

If for any reason you become an English teacher in Japan and you live in a town full of ONLY children and the elderly, don't date the hot English Teacher who's 5 years older than you because she crushed my heart on fuckING CHRISTMAS DAY YOU HEARTLESS BITCH I HATE YOU!

Er.......yeah, just keep yer pants on at work....um........good luck! :D[/QUOTE]
Not to laugh at your misery but :rofl:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']In my case it's a choice, and a rather easy one at that.[/QUOTE]

What ever makes it easier for you to sleep at night you sexless pedo.
 
Well, you need to have some sort of significant other, either chasing or talking to or nailing or whatever.
 
[quote name='valor19']My roommate is also not very social. He has like 4 buddies he talks to on a constant basis and that is it. I don't think I've ever seen him go to a bar or a club or either. I certainly don't have the balls to go to a bar by myself.[/QUOTE]
Why not? It's where people go to meet people.
 
[quote name='valor19']My roommate is also not very social. He has like 4 buddies he talks to on a constant basis and that is it. I don't think I've ever seen him go to a bar or a club or either. I certainly don't have the balls to go to a bar by myself.[/QUOTE]


go to a bar during a big sports event, everyones your buddy when the home team is winning. You could also drag you roommate to the bars and play doubles in pool with some other dudes and maybe make friends that way, or maybe even play against women and get some digits after you let them win.
 
[quote name='beerguy961']Why not? It's where people go to meet people.[/QUOTE]

Well, I don't dance. Where I live there are bars and there are clubs. The bars seem to generally attract the older and white trash crowd which leaves me with clubs. The clubs, however, seem to focus on the dancing thing which isn't my cup of tea.


In fact, I once took a girl to a club (per her request) and learned to dance prior to that night just for her. However, the whole thing went up in a ball of flames because she is a total bitch when she gets a few drinks in her. Did I mention that I met her at work? Because I did. The following week I transferred.
 
I'd say go to a place that you have some interest in, like a bookstore or gaming store or something and talk to the people there. Maybe take up a new hobby to meet people, get in a poker game or something. I feel your pain man, I'm pretty antisocial myself and the best thing for it is to just go somewhere you don't feel too out of place and try to find some common ground.
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend']Where do you work? Do you belong to any groups, teams, churches, etc?[/QUOTE]

I work for a department store. I don't belong to any groups and I'm an atheist so church is out of the question.
 
Alright, well that's good, since you really can't get any lower than joining a church for friends. Where is this TR? Nothing comes to mind... Taylor starts with a T and has an R... of course so does Traverse City.
 
[quote name='valor19']My roommate is also not very social. He has like 4 buddies he talks to on a constant basis and that is it. I don't think I've ever seen him go to a bar or a club or either. I certainly don't have the balls to go to a bar by myself.[/QUOTE]

Um, then do the other thing I mentioned talk to people more in basic everyday life. When getting your food at a fast food joint. Mention the weather, talk to people in your class. When you sit down say something to someone next to you like man I don't want to do that paper due tomorrow, or if a girl compliment her even if she is a huge 7'4" women beast.

Then after doing this for a week or 2 talk to everyone you see.
Lets say you walk into a fast food joint.

Fastfood: "can I take your order"
You normally "number 4 diet coke"
New you: "Well Hello their good sir I will have your fine number 7 with a regular coke.
FF: alright $7.96
New you: " here is a $100 keep the change"
FF what"
New you: Nice weather today
FF "sir is raining"
NY: Well I'm from london and florida so this rain is very nice and reminds me of home.


See its simple you just got to make a small effort everyday talk to someone were you normally don't. Then it should just snowball.

[quote name='JimmieMac']What ever makes it easier for you to sleep at night you sexless pedo.[/QUOTE]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
[quote name='valor19']I don't belong to any groups and I'm an atheist so church is out of the question.[/QUOTE]

Then go to church to learn about what you don't believe in. ;) Thats always a good place to make friends. Once old people know that your shy or friendly. They don't shut the fuck up.
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend']Alright, well that's good, since you really can't get any lower than joining a church for friends. Where is this TR? Nothing comes to mind... Taylor starts with a T and has an R... of course so does Traverse City.[/QUOTE]


Three Rivers, Michigan. It is just south of Kalamazoo where I attend school and work.
 
Well, then you're clearly not in a terrible location. I know it's bitter cold in Michigan right now, but certainly there must be something going on in your town. I dunno, my advice would be to spend your spare time down at a shelter or something right now. You may make some friends, and if not at least you're helping people. Not that I'm really in favor of supporting hobos and those who don't help themselves, but it's still a *nice* thing you could do. I'm certain once Summer rolls around there'll be other opportunities to volunteer for.

That's my advice:

Get involved, with volunteer groups and clubs. Join a softball team in April or something. Or get a membership at your local gym. If you're not doing anything on Friday nights, why not release your frustrations on some weights?

Second, try being more friendly with your co-workers. You'd be amazed that if you open up to other people, they'll probably open up to you. OR, if you've already been labled as that creepy guy that no one talks to at work, then why not try to find another job and start again? Assuming that that's an option here.

If all else fails, why not become one of those Jahovah's witnesses? They get to talk to and meet new people all the time!
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend']Or get a membership at your local gym. If you're not doing anything on Friday nights, why not release your frustrations on some weights?
[/QUOTE]


I already belong to a gym. Although I have most of that equipment at home so I prefer to stay there and work out. I am thankful for all the advice though.

I would also like to point out that I have dated girls at work before. And if it doesn't work out (which it never does) then it becomes too damn awkward. And I just can't up and quit because it pays really well (for a college student) and the hours are flexible for school.
 
Ugh, Girlfriends and Sex always lead to bullshit...come to think of it, girls in general lead to bullshit. I wish I could count the number of nutcase girls I've met on one hand, but that would be a conservative estimate.
 
[quote name='kakomu']Ugh, Girlfriends and Sex always lead to bullshit...come to think of it, girls in general lead to bullshit. I wish I could count the number of nutcase girls I've met on one hand, but that would be a conservative estimate.[/QUOTE]

Amen. Bitches be trippin'. Spending a while with a girl who you're not sure is absolutely perfect for you will either result in heartache or she will drive you insane to the point where you cherish every second of your newly single life once it's over... mercifully over... Thank God I didn't marry her.
 
how about MMORPGs. Not that I personally like them, but I know some hermits who have hooked up there, unintentionally. That is to say, their purpose in playing the game wasnt that.
 
Personally, I don't go out that much anymore (mostly because the only things to do around here are drink, and I just don't want to drink anymore for multiple reasons, also most of the people I knew graduated...so that played a large role too.). It's one thing to not feel like going out, but you seriously need to start talking to people that you work with or go to school with...you're still in school, right?

Even if that's not your schtick, there's still a bunch of hobbies out there that attract a bunch of people. Find some of those large DDR groups and start playing the game in the arcade if you're having trouble finding people! THere's always something going on.
 
[quote name='valor19']Yep.[/QUOTE]
Then participate in class more. When I'm in discussion sections (and even in a few lecture sections), I will talk a whole bunch, whether it's to express my opinion, discuss the matter or just answer a question is irrelevent. The fact is that I'm out there participating, and typically unafraid to say anything gets people to know who I am. Depending on the crowd, that could be a good thing (In poli sci, English and History, people will engage you in discussion, but in more science-like classes, people will be a little less talkative).

If worst comes to worst, just join a club. Even the geekiest of clubs have a somewhat social atmosphere.
 
OP, it sounds like you just don't want to try, and no matter what ideas people are going to give you, you will just shoot them all down.

Every reason I've seen given, you have some excuse of why not to do it, or that it dosen't work, etc etc. Hell, you can even meet people online these days, you don't really have to leave your house.

Not meaning to come off like a jerk, but it seems like you have a defeatist attitude, and maybe people can sense that.

I actually, in all honesty, suggest you talk to a therapist.
 
[quote name='valor19']So, I'm 26 and will be 27 in April. Once I thought I was in love but I'm not sure I know what love is. That being said, I've never had a girlfriend.

First let me start by pointing out that I'm not gay. Also, I'm not the stereo-typical "parents basement living, overweight" person that most people associate with gamers. In fact, I don't live at home (but it makes sense since I am 26 years old) and I'm in decent shape since I've been prepping for the police academy. And did I mention that besides work and school that I don't go out at all? Because, I don't. I'm not very social and I don't have any friends besides my roommate. I have some buddies at work but don't talk to them outside of work. Also, I don't talk to anyone at school.

I do realize some people are just socially autistic and destined to be alone. Maybe I am one of those people? Because sometimes, quite frankly, I get lonely and depressed. I've tried to rationalize that having someone, depending on someone, was a sign of weakness. And I know there are guys that sleep around and are afraid to commit but I'm not one of those guys. Quite truthfully, my sexual encounters have been few and far between. Although I'm sure that fact was evident without me telling you guys. Is there something wrong with me? Am I destined to be alone?


P.S. I do realize talking about this stuff on a message board is sort of pathetic but I really don't have anyone to talk to. I know I don't fit in to the CAG clique (sblymnlcrymnl, punqsux, javeryh, etc.) but I'll take any advice I can get.[/QUOTE]
Damn Im just like, well except for the fact that I am 14.I have the same problems & think the way just like you. Alway been single & always felt deppresed & lonley. Damn it sucks being lonely.
 
[quote name='Citizen#1Game']Damn Im just like, well except for the fact that I am 14.I have the same problems & think the way just like you. Alway been single & always felt deppresed & lonley. Damn it sucks being lonely.[/QUOTE]

:rofl:

You've got a long ways to go in life.
 
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