Alone in the Dark- Uwe Boll Stands Alone

[quote name='MaxBiaggi3'][quote name='Duo_Maxwell']Paul Anderson is a really crappy director too but compared to Uwe Boll he looks like Spielberg.[/quote]

What really irritates me about Paul W.S. Anderson is that he takes good/popular games like RE and movies like Alien/Predator and turns them into absolute crap. How in the world could anyone go wrong with one of these licenses, with so much material to work from? Paul W.S. Anderson somehow found a way to make them bad.

Uwe Boll at least takes license nobody cares about anymore. The Alone in the Dark and House of the Dead series haven't been popular for a number of years, so the volume of disappointed fans isn't nearly so great.[/quote]

Well I was speaking more from a film making standpoint, but good point. Though there was a time when Anderson actually tried to stay somewhat close to the source material whereas Boll never even bothered, though now he's pretty much lost it. Ever read the original spec script for AvP? Not what the original writer envisioned at all...
 
Uwe Boll is fucking crazy. Best line was: "The big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene." ROFLMAO.
 
i really wonder who the hell keeps allowing him to direct movies let alone live but how many promos have to use that damn godsmack song from the scorpion king which came out 8 bazillion years ago
 
in 2 weeks it'll already come out on dvd and then stores will notice no one even recognizes it and they'll just burn them and laugh at uwe boll
 
The Bloodrayne movie has actually got a really good cast. I would have some hopes for it if it was done by anyone else, but surely he'll take that talent and flush it right down the pan, judging by his other efforts. Shame.
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']Anyone shaq-fuing see it yet? I have to wait till Sunday so....[/quote]

Yes, has anyone seen this horrible movie yet?...
 
[quote name='kaji7p56'][quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='kaji7p56'][quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='kaji7p56']Did Uwe Boll direct Catwoman?[/quote]

Nope some guy nicknamed Pitof.

http://romanticmovies.about.com/od/catwoman/a/catwmpi071904.htm

edit: See the joke now do I.[/quote]

Wise you are, but no Jedi are you.[/quote]

But I must save my friends![/quote]

Dead I will be, upon your return. Ungrateful bastard.[/quote]

Well even little green men cannot survive forever on twinkies and spam. Afterall nothing on Degoba looked eatable.
 
Okay, I watched Alone in the Dark with a few buds of mine last night. And if I can sum up the movie with one impression, it'd be this: :evil:

As soon as I walked into the theater, which is usually populated with movie go-ers, I saw exactly FOUR people in the theater. Along with my two friends, there was a total of SEVEN people watching the movie. With room for at least 120 more. But once the movie started, two more movie-goers sat down and began to watch. And one of them was the assistant manager of the theater. Confused Well, when the movie started, it shows some text scrolling up with some guy talking. It was almost a Star Wars-style introduction, except that whatever the hell the narrator was saying sounded like total bullshit. Oh, and his voice is annoying. You would think they'd hire someone that could actually read the darn thing in a voice that is not monotonous, but alas, they didn't.

Moving onto the actual movie itself, I have no fuckin' idea as to what the hell is going on. The movie starts off with some little kid running and hiding in one of those electricity generators. That kid grew up to be the character played by Christian Slater. In your typical fashion of video game-to-movie adaptations, he dons the same trench coat, the same shirt, the same pants, the same boots, and the same undies throughout the WHOLE movie. It wouldn't hurt to see him in a different outfit or two, or maybe like...take off his shirt. Or something. Wait, he DID take off his shirt. It was the event leading up to the boring ass sex scene with Tara Reid. I think that was the highlight of the movie. But still, there's like...no thrusting at all. Me am sad. Tara Reid's acting was just horrible. Or Tara-ible as a movie had put it. Everytime she she opens her mouth, I would just blank out what she said because I knew she was lying. It's like, she's not even acting. She's just...there. With boobies.

Anyway, going back to the "story". There's suppose to be this door that separates the light world from the dark world, and some crazy guy is controlling the dark things. And the light guys (uhh..humans) fight against the dark guys (uhh..these beasts that are poorly CG-animated). Speaking of the CG animation, I wanted to tear my eyes out seeing what I saw. Seriously, the action scenes looked so...meh. I thought I was watching a movie from the early '90s. I'd go as far to say that Mortal Kombat: Annihilation looked like a CG masterpiece compared to Alone in the Dark. Oh, and don't get me started on the audio. I don't know who did the editing, but it must be the most absolute worst editing...EVAR! Gah! Random music would pop in and out, the gun fire sounded like shit and the sounds that the beasts make is just downright annoying. Believe me, their growls are the worst growls I've ever heard in any movie. You'd hear the growl audio every other minute. And if that doesn't annoy you, I'm sure it will at the end where there's a huge standoff between the beasts and the humans. Ugh. If you plan to go see this movie, which I hope none of you do, don't even bother sticking around when the credits start to roll. Whatever song is playing in the credits sounded like what one of those wanna-be, amateur, teenage bands would be playing/singing.

As crappy as Alone in the Dark was, it was much better than House of the Dead. That's not saying much, but at least it was somewhat tolerable to watch. Well, there goes my ten bucks... :(
 
Counter-Strike Movie Deal Signed

At the helm of the picture will be German filmmaker Uwe Boll. Currently, the king of game-to-movie conversions is taking time off from producing Bloodrayne and Hunter:The Reckoning to work on the script.

"When I picked up the project, I sat down and played the game to get in touch with its soul," the director explained. "Trust me, this is going to be the most honest, true conversion ever. Everything you love about the game will be in there. The action, the group dynamics, the excitement."

Boll continued, "I want to guarantee the fans of the game that there will absolutely, positively be no campers in the movie. Ok, one guy will be really defensive, but that's because it's his job, not because he's camping."

The movie will focus on an international SWAT team assembled to stop a group of terrorists. However, before successfully foiling a bombing, the group must first face the internal challenges that threaten to tear it apart: The loudmouth beginner struggling for acceptance, the Team Killer who must face the consequences of a fatal accident, and the insecure wonder-kid accused of being gay.

Casting has not started for the project yet, but Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell, both avid fans of the game, have expressed interest in the project. However, the studio is leaning towards using animatronic animals in favor of human actors.

"The terrorism issue is still rather sensitive in America," said one studio executive who wished to remain anonymous. "Killing an animatronic goat is much more palatable to the American public. And it should also keep it PG-13, maybe lower."
 
[quote name='b0bx13']Counter-Strike Movie Deal Signed

At the helm of the picture will be German filmmaker Uwe Boll. Currently, the king of game-to-movie conversions is taking time off from producing Bloodrayne and Hunter:The Reckoning to work on the script.

"When I picked up the project, I sat down and played the game to get in touch with its soul," the director explained. "Trust me, this is going to be the most honest, true conversion ever. Everything you love about the game will be in there. The action, the group dynamics, the excitement."

Boll continued, "I want to guarantee the fans of the game that there will absolutely, positively be no campers in the movie. Ok, one guy will be really defensive, but that's because it's his job, not because he's camping."

The movie will focus on an international SWAT team assembled to stop a group of terrorists. However, before successfully foiling a bombing, the group must first face the internal challenges that threaten to tear it apart: The loudmouth beginner struggling for acceptance, the Team Killer who must face the consequences of a fatal accident, and the insecure wonder-kid accused of being gay.

Casting has not started for the project yet, but Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell, both avid fans of the game, have expressed interest in the project. However, the studio is leaning towards using animatronic animals in favor of human actors.

"The terrorism issue is still rather sensitive in America," said one studio executive who wished to remain anonymous. "Killing an animatronic goat is much more palatable to the American public. And it should also keep it PG-13, maybe lower."[/quote]

http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/01/28/news_6117482.html

RUMOR #1: German director Uwe Boll has acquired the film rights to Counter-Strike.

Source: British site BBspot.

The official story: "First time we've heard that...false."--Valve Marketing director Doug Lombardi.

What we heard: This week, the game-news underground was bubbling with word that (in)famous filmmaker Boll had landed the movie rights to another premium game franchise. Actually "word" might be a bit mild. "Outrage" would be more appropriate, sine Boll has a history of turning respected game franchises into universally panned movie projects. Following his critically eviscerated House of the Dead, Boll directed Alone in the Dark, based on the 13-year-old horror-action franchise. Released this week to scalding reviews---the New York Times called it "so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash"--Dark hardly bodes well for Boll's upcoming adaptations of Far Cry, Hunter: The Reckoning, and BloodRayne (which is currently in post-production). With Boll's track record, it's easy to see why Counter-Strike's wide and rabid fan base would be less than thrilled to have the director-producer land the Valve franchise, as the BBspot piece purports. Good thing, then, that BBspot is a tech-humor site--a sort of Onion for geeks--and the story is totally false. In fact, in its about page, BBspot takes pains to explain its prankster nature. "BBspot produces a variety of features like fake news stories satirizing the tech and political worlds…[and] pokes fun at the Believers (people who believe our fake news)." Like Foghorn Leghorn said, "It's a joke, son--a joke."

Bogus or not bogus?: Bogus.

It's flse, CS hasn't been signed for a movie, yet.
 
I'll say what I said in the Genreal Gaming News forum:

Dear Hollywood and Game developers,
Please stop Uwe Boll before he causes anymore damage. If he finishes Bloodrayne and Hunter, I'm afraid I will have to kill myself and others in my viccinity.
Love,
Reality's Fringe
 
[quote name='CrashSpyro123'][quote name='b0bx13']Counter-Strike Movie Deal Signed

At the helm of the picture will be German filmmaker Uwe Boll. Currently, the king of game-to-movie conversions is taking time off from producing Bloodrayne and Hunter:The Reckoning to work on the script.

"When I picked up the project, I sat down and played the game to get in touch with its soul," the director explained. "Trust me, this is going to be the most honest, true conversion ever. Everything you love about the game will be in there. The action, the group dynamics, the excitement."

Boll continued, "I want to guarantee the fans of the game that there will absolutely, positively be no campers in the movie. Ok, one guy will be really defensive, but that's because it's his job, not because he's camping."

The movie will focus on an international SWAT team assembled to stop a group of terrorists. However, before successfully foiling a bombing, the group must first face the internal challenges that threaten to tear it apart: The loudmouth beginner struggling for acceptance, the Team Killer who must face the consequences of a fatal accident, and the insecure wonder-kid accused of being gay.

Casting has not started for the project yet, but Ben Affleck and Colin Farrell, both avid fans of the game, have expressed interest in the project. However, the studio is leaning towards using animatronic animals in favor of human actors.

"The terrorism issue is still rather sensitive in America," said one studio executive who wished to remain anonymous. "Killing an animatronic goat is much more palatable to the American public. And it should also keep it PG-13, maybe lower."[/quote]

http://www.gamespot.com/news/2005/01/28/news_6117482.html

RUMOR #1: German director Uwe Boll has acquired the film rights to Counter-Strike.

Source: British site BBspot.

The official story: "First time we've heard that...false."--Valve Marketing director Doug Lombardi.

What we heard: This week, the game-news underground was bubbling with word that (in)famous filmmaker Boll had landed the movie rights to another premium game franchise. Actually "word" might be a bit mild. "Outrage" would be more appropriate, sine Boll has a history of turning respected game franchises into universally panned movie projects. Following his critically eviscerated House of the Dead, Boll directed Alone in the Dark, based on the 13-year-old horror-action franchise. Released this week to scalding reviews---the New York Times called it "so inept on every level, you wonder why the distributor didn't release it straight to video, or better, toss it directly into the trash"--Dark hardly bodes well for Boll's upcoming adaptations of Far Cry, Hunter: The Reckoning, and BloodRayne (which is currently in post-production). With Boll's track record, it's easy to see why Counter-Strike's wide and rabid fan base would be less than thrilled to have the director-producer land the Valve franchise, as the BBspot piece purports. Good thing, then, that BBspot is a tech-humor site--a sort of Onion for geeks--and the story is totally false. In fact, in its about page, BBspot takes pains to explain its prankster nature. "BBspot produces a variety of features like fake news stories satirizing the tech and political worlds…[and] pokes fun at the Believers (people who believe our fake news)." Like Foghorn Leghorn said, "It's a joke, son--a joke."

Bogus or not bogus?: Bogus.

It's flse, CS hasn't been signed for a movie, yet.[/quote]
yeah, the part about animatronic goats kinda gave it away :wink:
 
Reality's Fringe]I'll say what I said in the Genreal Gaming News forum: Dear Hollywood and Game developers said:
Let me know when you plan on going on your killing spree. I'll join you.
Click to expand...
 
[quote name='Socheata']Okay, I watched Alone in the Dark with a few buds of mine last night. And if I can sum up the movie with one impression, it'd be this: :evil: ...
I'd go as far to say that Mortal Kombat: Annihilation looked like a CG masterpiece compared to Alone in the Dark...[/quote]

Oh, god, you can't be serious! The movie was THAT bad? I knew it would be awful, but comparing it to MK:A must be signaling the approach of the apocalypse. I didn't think anything could be worse than that.
 
[quote name='SadieDee'][quote name='Socheata']Okay, I watched Alone in the Dark with a few buds of mine last night. And if I can sum up the movie with one impression, it'd be this: :evil: ...
I'd go as far to say that Mortal Kombat: Annihilation looked like a CG masterpiece compared to Alone in the Dark...[/quote]

Oh, god, you can't be serious! The movie was THAT bad? I knew it would be awful, but comparing it to MK:A must be signaling the approach of the apocalypse. I didn't think anything could be worse than that.[/quote]

Did you watch house of the dead?
 
I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he fucks up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.
 
[quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! Do not support this alleged movie with any of your money! You're only encouraging more garbage movies to be made. :evil:
 
[quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

Did you not read what I typed up? :x
 
[quote name='hutno'][quote name='SadieDee'][quote name='Socheata']Okay, I watched Alone in the Dark with a few buds of mine last night. And if I can sum up the movie with one impression, it'd be this: :evil: ...
I'd go as far to say that Mortal Kombat: Annihilation looked like a CG masterpiece compared to Alone in the Dark...[/quote]

Oh, god, you can't be serious! The movie was THAT bad? I knew it would be awful, but comparing it to MK:A must be signaling the approach of the apocalypse. I didn't think anything could be worse than that.[/quote]

Did you watch house of the dead?[/quote]


Hey MK:A is on spike tv now as we speak (ET)
 
Boll continued, "I want to guarantee the fans of the game that there will absolutely, positively be no campers in the movie. Ok, one guy will be really defensive, but that's because it's his job, not because he's camping."

The movie will focus on an international SWAT team assembled to stop a group of terrorists. However, before successfully foiling a bombing, the group must first face the internal challenges that threaten to tear it apart: The loudmouth beginner struggling for acceptance, the Team Killer who must face the consequences of a fatal accident, and the insecure wonder-kid accused of being gay.
Click to expand...

LOL
 
[quote name='Mike23']I think the casting for Bloodrayne can be summed up by one actor: Meat Loaf.[/quote]

Bob had bitch tits

Time warp again

Bottom line - casting meatloaf is ALWAYS a good move
 
[quote name='neocisco'][quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! Do not support this alleged movie with any of your money! You're only encouraging more garbage movies to be made. :evil:[/quote]

I might have to see HOTD. To satisfy my curiousity...
 
[quote name='CrashSpyro123'][quote name='SEGA128DC']Is the upcoming Alone in the Dark movie, based on the game?...:whistle2:k[/quote]

Yes.[/quote]

Umm......yes how???? Read the reviews and spoilers and even from the trailer I can not see how this movie, in ANY way, shape or form can relate to the game?
 
[quote name='Matrix2k3'][quote name='CrashSpyro123'][quote name='SEGA128DC']Is the upcoming Alone in the Dark movie, based on the game?...:whistle2:k[/quote]

Yes.[/quote]

Umm......yes how???? Read the reviews and spoilers and even from the trailer I can not see how this movie, in ANY way, shape or form can relate to the game?[/quote]

It is based on the game, though little has been used from it.
 
[quote name='camoor'][quote name='neocisco'][quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! Do not support this alleged movie with any of your money! You're only encouraging more garbage movies to be made. :evil:[/quote]

I might have to see HOTD. To satisfy my curiousity...[/quote]

Be warned, you'll regret it.
 
[quote name='Kain Vincent'][quote name='camoor'][quote name='neocisco'][quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! Do not support this alleged movie with any of your money! You're only encouraging more garbage movies to be made. :evil:[/quote]

I might have to see HOTD. To satisfy my curiousity...[/quote]

Be warned, you'll regret it.[/quote]

Though, how could I? It's got the big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene. Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD.
 
[quote name='camoor'][quote name='Kain Vincent'][quote name='camoor'][quote name='neocisco'][quote name='Nirvanaguy777']I plan to see this on monday or maybe tomorrow, goddam why are all these games being made into bad movies, if he shaq-fus up bloodrayne Ill kill him i swear, I truely liked the game.[/quote]

DON'T DO IT!!!!! Do not support this alleged movie with any of your money! You're only encouraging more garbage movies to be made. :evil:[/quote]

I might have to see HOTD. To satisfy my curiousity...[/quote]

Be warned, you'll regret it.[/quote]

Though, how could I? It's got the big battle in front of the house with the MATRIX and TURN TABLE effects, over 100 blood effects and 11000 cuts in 13 minutes will be film history in a few years because in NO OTHER FILM EVER was a similar scene. Also Rodrigez or Tarantino ever made a scene like this escalating action scene in HOD.[/quote]

Go see a movie that you might actually enjoy then duck in to Alone in the Dark and watch a few minutes. That should be more than enough. Just DON'T BUY A TICKET! Every dollar spent on this waste of celluloid increases the chance he will make another one. BTW, there has never been a more self-fulfilling title-ever.
 
[quote name='Mike23']I think the casting for Bloodrayne can be summed up by one actor: Meat Loaf.[/quote]

Meat Loaf is a pretty good actor.

Kristanna Loken as Bloodrayne - excellent move. Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen - very good choices. Boll as director - scary thought. The potential for a good, fun movie is there with those actors, but I dread to think how it might turn out.
 
Why is everyone bashing this movie? Is it seiously worse than like Boogeyman or some other stupid 'scary' movie? (Due to come out)
 
[quote name='goergegavin']Why is everyone bashing this movie? Is it seiously worse than like Boogeyman or some other stupid 'scary' movie? (Due to come out)[/quote]

yes
 
[quote name='PaulEMoz']Kristanna Loken as Bloodrayne - excellent move. Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen - very good choices.[/quote]

We're not talking about species, are we?
 
[quote name='camoor'][quote name='PaulEMoz']Kristanna Loken as Bloodrayne - excellent move. Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen - very good choices.[/quote]

We're not talking about species, are we?[/quote]

Erm....no. :?
 
[quote name='camoor'][quote name='PaulEMoz']Kristanna Loken as Bloodrayne - excellent move. Ben Kingsley and Michael Madsen - very good choices.[/quote]

We're not talking about species, are we?[/quote]

No silly, Kristanna Loken was the T-X, in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines...:D
 
Ok. The main statement to sum up this movie would be: At least House of the Dead was funny.

There is NOTHING REDEEMING about this movie at all. House of the Dead was terrible, but it was very easy to laugh at. This movie I nearly fell asleep watching, and so did my boyfriend. It is totally nonsensical. This one superpowered guy dies at the hands of Christian Slater by fallling 2 feet into a box full of dead fish. There are ZOMBIES that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Nothing in the movie makes sense. There is this one scene that is FAR WORSE in terms of flashing lights than the scene from Pokemon in Japan that gave a ton of little kids seizures- fuck I almost got a seizure and I have no medical problems, nor have I ever had a problem with such scenes. I had to shield my fuckin eyes to get through the scene. The ending is so anticlimatic that if I had not read about where the ending takes place in a review, I wouldn't have believed it was the end at all. The sex scene is the DUMBEST THING IN A MOVIE EVER. You may have heard that there is terrible music accompanying it. That is a COMPLETE UNDERSTATEMENT. It is the worst music I have ever heard in my life- a "jazz" "piece" with TERRIBLE vocals, and the fuckin scene itself has nothing to do with anything in the movie. I expected a FUNNY BAD MOVIE from Uwe Boll, which was exactly what HOTD was. Instead I got the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. fuck you, Uwe Boll. Bloodrayne better be at least bad funny or there will be a mob of people wanting to murder you.
 
Actually, that "superpowered" guy was killled by a spear that was sticking out of the box with dead fishes. Why was it sticking out? The world may never know.
 
[quote name='Socheata']Actually, that "superpowered" guy was killled by a spear that was sticking out of the box with dead fishes. Why was it sticking out? The world may never know.[/quote]

I didn't even notice the spear. Great cinematography there.
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']Ok. The main statement to sum up this movie would be: At least House of the Dead was funny.

There is NOTHING REDEEMING about this movie at all. House of the Dead was terrible, but it was very easy to laugh at. This movie I nearly fell asleep watching, and so did my boyfriend. It is totally nonsensical. This one superpowered guy dies at the hands of Christian Slater by fallling 2 feet into a box full of dead fish. There are ZOMBIES that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Nothing in the movie makes sense. There is this one scene that is FAR WORSE in terms of flashing lights than the scene from Pokemon in Japan that gave a ton of little kids seizures- shaq-fu I almost got a seizure and I have no medical problems, nor have I ever had a problem with such scenes. I had to shield my shaq-fuin eyes to get through the scene. The ending is so anticlimatic that if I had not read about where the ending takes place in a review, I wouldn't have believed it was the end at all. The sex scene is the DUMBEST THING IN A MOVIE EVER. You may have heard that there is terrible music accompanying it. That is a COMPLETE UNDERSTATEMENT. It is the worst music I have ever heard in my life- a "jazz" "piece" with TERRIBLE vocals, and the shaq-fuin scene itself has nothing to do with anything in the movie. I expected a FUNNY BAD MOVIE from Uwe Boll, which was exactly what HOTD was. Instead I got the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. shaq-fu you, Uwe Boll. Bloodrayne better be at least bad funny or there will be a mob of people wanting to murder you.[/quote]

:rofl: :rofl:

So, pretty much what I was expecting.
 
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