Am I just overreacting or...

D

daschrier

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So this chick I met about a week or so ago, I've called her first everytime so far and I keep getting her voice mail, and she generally calls me back within a few hours, so no problems there, she is a busy person. But whenever we try and make plans to do stuff she can't make plans all at once, so it takes like 2 phone calls to set up a time and place. So we're always playing phone tag. Well she told me last night to call her about getting together this week, so I did, and I get the focking voice mail again. I'm waiting...and waiting...and waiting...and she just sends me a text back.

hey i'm going to bed, i'll call you or call me manana! mwah!

So she can't call me just to say hey, but she has time to send me a text???? AND she still says I'll call you back or you call me. WTF??? I have no patience for immature phone games. Just get on the god damned phone and make plans for christ sake. Seriously!
 
Either she's trying to let you off easy, or since you've met her a week or so ago.. and you already have a history of having to call her first, not getting call-back, etc... she's quite worried you're a stalker.

Rule of thumb, always wait atleast a week before you call a girl after getting her number.
 
Yeah, lots of people seem to be telling me that, but after our first date she told me how much fun she had and that we had to get together again, and then the next day she texted me to thank me again and to say she had a good time. And then she invites me over to her place sunday where she asks me what my week looks like so we can hang out again, which is why I called her last night to make plans...

Beats the hell out of me.
 
[quote name='Cornfedwb']Either she's trying to let you off easy, or since you've met her a week or so ago.. and you already have a history of having to call her first, not getting call-back, etc... she's quite worried you're a stalker.

Rule of thumb, always wait atleast a week before you call a girl after getting her number.[/QUOTE]

She texted me the next day after giving me her number asking me about hanging out :p
 
[quote name='daschrier']She texted me the next day after giving me her number asking me about hanging out :p[/QUOTE]

Doesn't matter.. wait a bare minimum of 7 days, each and every time. Its a steadfast rule.
 
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: [quote name='zewone']I'm guessing you haven't seen the movie Swingers?[/quote]

your like this big fucking bear, with the big fucking claws, and she is a little bunny rabbit, and your poken her with your claws
 
[quote name='daschrier']I think that's a pretty stupid rule myself...girls don't like to wait that long. Ask any of them.[/QUOTE]

You think they prefer a guy that looks desperate? Trust me from experience here.. wait the week, it pays off huge dividends.
 
Hey, that's why I haven't wanted to keep calling cause I don't wanna look desperate. I tried waiting a few days after our first date and she kept textin me each day...
 
Because Swingers is the be-all, end-all guide to dating. :roll: Never mind the fact that your dealing with humans not predictable AI robots.
 
This is what a female friend of mine just said about time between a first call.

If i meet a guy, i generally expect him to contact me in the next few hours (e.g - a text message) but to call in the next couple of days. If he doesn't call within a few days, i assume he's not interested and therefore lose interest in him.
 
[quote name='daschrier']This is what a female friend of mine just said about time between a first call.

If i meet a guy, i generally expect him to contact me in the next few hours (e.g - a text message) but to call in the next couple of days. If he doesn't call within a few days, i assume he's not interested and therefore lose interest in him.[/QUOTE]

Ok, gonna go out on a limb and assume you're in High School... so then never mind, the rules don't really apply till you're out in real life.
 
daschrier

check out lykus 101 rules... i'm sure some CAG has the link to it.. it will help you with this chic of your guaranfuckingteee
 
[quote name='Cornfedwb']Ok, gonna go out on a limb and assume you're in High School... so then never mind, the rules don't really apply till you're out in real life.[/QUOTE]

No, I'm almost 26, been out of college for 3 years ;)
 
This isn't hard at all.

1. She is a girl
2. All girls are effing crazy
3. Therefore she is effing crazy

Once you figure that out the rest is easy...
 
Yeah, my good friend told me I was overreacting and just to chill. It was suggested that she could just be very traditional in that I'm supposed to call her and court her cause I'm the man, but yet I can't do that since she's never around when I call....
I'm pretty much just pissed because we both seemed to hit it off well and it was going so easily unlike most female dealings, and then this brick wall comes up.
 
[quote name='javeryh']This isn't hard at all.

1. She is a girl
2. All girls are effing crazy
3. Therefore she is effing crazy

Once you figure that out the rest is easy...[/QUOTE]

Well yes...I think the problem is, is that I've been single for about 2.5 years now, so I've forgotten what it's like to deal with women and to get pissed off out of my mind :p
 
[quote name='Eviltude']i think you need to relac and let her call you.[/QUOTE]

Yep, be somewhat hard to get yourself. Seems like you've put out a good bit of effort on her. See if she'll make the effort to actually call you. If she doesn't, move on.
 
I think that's what I'm going to do. And if she does call and comment on the fact that I didn't call her back I'll just straight up be honest with her about the fact that I DO call and she's never there....
 
[quote name='javeryh']This isn't hard at all.

1. She is a girl
2. All girls are effing crazy
3. Therefore she is effing crazy
4. And a whore.

Once you figure that out the rest is easy...[/QUOTE]

Ahh, fixed.
 
Christ you guys read too much into everything.

Call her up, wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn't get back to you, suck it up and move on.

She's either too stupid to check her VM or text messages, in which case, move on. Or she h8tes you're ass...in which case, move on.

"Wait 7 days"...thats about as brilliant as saying "This LINE works every time!". :p
 
[quote name='Cornfedwb']Either she's trying to let you off easy, or since you've met her a week or so ago.. and you already have a history of having to call her first, not getting call-back, etc... she's quite worried you're a stalker.

Rule of thumb, always wait atleast a week before you call a girl after getting her number.[/quote]

I'm sorry Cornfed but I heard evidence to the contrary. Calling the girl the next day doesn't make you seem desparate just as so long as you come off as being confident.

Back in the day I used to wait a week before calling a girl but I found that rule to be no longer applicable today.
 
[quote name='HeadRusch']Christ you guys read too much into everything.

Call her up, wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn't get back to you, suck it up and move on.

She's either too stupid to check her VM or text messages, in which case, move on. Or she h8tes you're ass...in which case, move on.

"Wait 7 days"...thats about as brilliant as saying "This LINE works every time!". :p[/QUOTE]

Well no, she does get the voice mails.....and she has replied everytime except for last night, but the fact that she texted me back about going to bed rather than just calling me is what irks me.
 
[quote name='Xevious']I'm sorry Cornfed but I heard evidence to the contrary. Calling the girl the next day doesn't make you seem desparate just as so long as you come off as being confident.

Back in the day I used to wait a week before calling a girl but I found that rule to be no longer applicable today.[/quote]

Right - the better approach is to get email - because you can plan an email out and it can be answered at any time. Then you get a response, then ask for her number and a good time to call, and go from there.
 
[quote name='Cornfedwb']Doesn't matter.. wait a bare minimum of 7 days, each and every time. Its a steadfast rule.[/QUOTE]

That's a stupid rule, it never worked. Ask any woman and they will tell you 3 days is a the max.
 
[quote name='HeadRusch']Christ you guys read too much into everything.

Call her up, wait for her to get back to you. If she doesn't get back to you, suck it up and move on.

She's either too stupid to check her VM or text messages, in which case, move on. Or she h8tes you're ass...in which case, move on.

"Wait 7 days"...thats about as brilliant as saying "This LINE works every time!". :p[/quote]

Seven days?! Way too long. Are you kidding me? You don't know $hit if you think you should wait seven days to call a girl. By that time she's gonna meet someone else or be totally pissed at you or think you're trying to get some bootycall. Are you going to have ANYTHING to talk about after seven days? You gotta build on these things a little bit at least. "Hey remember when I saw you at the bookstore last week?", "Uh who is this?" . That's whats going to happen with that suggestion.

The initial stages are such a cat and mouse game. And you want to be a little unattainable. I will be honest and say that little games are key at this point.(depends on the girl, but for most girls I think this is true- even nice ones) It seems like you are slowly losing your footing here. That's not good. After having a good date like you did here's a suggestion (perhaps for next time if you can't salvage this one):

Next time the issue of hanging out comes up play it like you want to hang out but you can't because you've got some plans - hopefully they are cool sounding plans but make sure shes knows you aren't blowing her off. But here you win because you are (a) showing that you had a good time too but (b) not available. I think that combo can get you crits man. Doesn't work everytime but what does.

My other suggestion and I think this goes for all girls: Don't get too heavy about "Well, I DO try and call you but you can never.. blah blah blah".. No one likes to get heavy or "super honest" that early in the game. Keep it fun and light. Keep her laughing. Be there 50-80% as much as she wants you to be there. That way she won't get tired of you. Be a stud.. pay for her dinner and when she tries to pay for her half just say "man, I just got paid it's on me!" if she insists still say "you can get me next time" ... that works most every time and you don't actually have to let them get you next time but a lot of girls still love to have the guy buy them dinner but not the pressure of "This is a DATE and I am buying you dinner and expect something from this date".

I myself have a date this Thurs that I'm super pumped on. Smoking :hot: girl I've been chasing for a few weeks. This will be the first "date" for sure and basically, I asked my friend who works at this super nice restaraunt to hook us up. It's four star (think bacon wrapped lobster tails) and we're getting a free open bar... It's a cool low pressure date because it's fun and kind of punk rock to go eat for free at some richie place. :D

Hope some of those suggestions help holmes. Wish me luck on Thursday in return!!
 
You need to reverse the situation. She needs to have you as her object of attention. From my experiance, most chicks like to be the pursuer.

A better film on this stuff is Tao of Steve. It will get you laid on a consistent basis and the girls don't think of you as a man-whore which leads to more girls.
 
I think you need to grow a pair and write her a note. Put at the top, "Do you like me?"

Then, put a box with "yes" above it on the left side, a box that says "no" on the right, and if you're really brave put a box that says "maybe" in the middle.

I'm not kidding.
 
[quote name='coltyhuxx']My other suggestion and I think this goes for all girls: Don't get too heavy about "Well, I DO try and call you but you can never.. blah blah blah".. No one likes to get heavy or "super honest" that early in the game. Keep it fun and light. Keep her laughing. Be there 50-80% as much as she wants you to be there. That way she won't get tired of you. Be a stud.. pay for her dinner and when she tries to pay for her half just say "man, I just got paid it's on me!" if she insists still say "you can get me next time" ... that works most every time and you don't actually have to let them get you next time but a lot of girls still love to have the guy buy them dinner but not the pressure of "This is a DATE and I am buying you dinner and expect something from this date".[/QUOTE]

This is 100%, completely, totally true. I have fucked up many a date by coming on too strong/too interested/too "honest"/whatever, but I have never, NEVER messed up a date by being too disinterested.

And your "Be there 50-80% as much as she wants you to be there" theory also matches the "Only call her 1.5 times as much as she calls you" rule, and the "always leave before your charm wears off" rule.

And good luck on Thursday, killer.
 
[quote name='javeryh']This isn't hard at all.

1. She is a girl
2. All girls are effing crazy
3. Therefore she is effing crazy

Once you figure that out the rest is easy...[/QUOTE]
And that's the reason why JaveryH is now a homosexual.
 
[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']And that's the reason why JaveryH is now a homosexual.[/quote]

I'm not sure I follow... so all girls are crazy and I'm gay? Hmmm....
 
[quote name='daschrier']I don't think there's enough luck in the world to help a man with a woman...but good luck anyway :p[/quote]

man even your posts sound downtrodden. splash some cold water in your face and give your self a good fuck 'ing slap. get back on the horse man. if it doesn't work with this one there will be another one soon. if she smells this mope on you, you are dead.

"yeeea... geeeee.. thanks for calling me baaack."

SNAP TO IT MOFO!! it's gonna be a'ight!

if your get catatonically depressed about this chick just imagine her taking a dump. that will help. that's only to be used in emergencies because, frankly, it's dick-limping powers are pretty severe.
 
i feel that any time you start to care this much about whether or not a girl answers her phone, or will/won't hang out with you on a certain evening...

you've already lost

in my personal experience, the less i care about hanging out with a girl - the more she cares about hanging out with me

similary, the less i think about talking to her on the phone, the more she calls me....
 
dude just wait a few days and let her contact you, if she is really interested she will. Get the upper hand in the relationship if there even is one, let her come to you.
 
[quote name='daschrier']Well yes...I think the problem is, is that I've been single for about 2.5 years now, so I've forgotten what it's like to deal with women and to get pissed off out of my mind :p[/quote]

Man! Give yourself a little break here. You really think you're going to come back to the the rough sea that be woman, after TWO AND A HALF YEARS, and have it work out with the first one? Man, brace yourself, you might try three more times and have three more bad experiences! This is fuck 'n WAR, baby. There's casualties. People die.

It sounds like you're not too into the whole concept of "playing games". I don't blame you. We're dudes and don't really like to do that spit too much. And it seems contrary to the whole idea of being honest /getting to know the real you blah blah blah. But listen,I'm not f'ing around on this topic. My friend Johnnie refuses to play any games and absolutely wears his heart on his sleeve with every chick. He gets shot down all the time. It's a reality - that EVEN (most) of the nice girls require a little tact/effort/subtley/misdirection. You don't have to like it, but think of it like a tactician. Distance yourself from the morality of it a bit. And, seriously, sometimes they'll end up being cool as hell once you've sealed the deal or made out with them or whatever. They're girls, they get hit on a lot more than you think. Dudes they work with, dudes on the street... you gotta distinguish yourself from that desperation.

And yes, there are some girls who don't play those games but damnit most of them do. It's a reality. If you don't want the games you are gonna miss out on a lot of chicks that might have ended up being cool. Otherwise your selection, my friend, is going to be very restricted.

Oh, and since I know someones going to point this out, the games continue your whole f'ing tortured life with some of these foul devil temptresses. Ye, into the grave and beyond. Those ones we try to stay away from.:)
 
You're right, I don't like games. I don't see what's so hard about saying hey, I like you, you like me, lets go out to dinner. But then again, men are more rational than women are :D
 
Man I'm such a dumbass. She called, asked me if it was ok if I just came over her place thursday for dinner and we could make dinner together....and her roommates have date night (her roommates date eachother, and yes they're both women, and yes they're both hot), so they'll be gone. So yeah, I'm an idiot and was worried for nothing.

I need to occupy my mind more :p
 
[quote name='daschrier']....and her roommates have date night (her roommates date eachother, and yes they're both women, and yes they're both hot), so they'll be gone. I need to occupy my mind more :p[/QUOTE]

And we need to keep this thread alive !!!!!!!!!
 
Haha. She thinks it's so weird. It was her and one girl, and they were roommate shopping and they brought the new girl in. Next thing she new, her roommates were together :p
 
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