Ashton Kutcher inks deal to replace Charlie Sheen on 'Two and a Half Men'

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The new star of "Two and a Half Men" doesn't date goddesses -- he's married to a Cougar.
Ashton Kutcher signed a deal last night to replace Charlie Sheen on television's top-rated sitcom, a source told The Post.
Kutcher, who previously starred on "That '70s Show," gave his fans a hint that it would happen earlier in the evening, tweeting, "What's the square root of 6.25?"
The answer is 2½.
He'll be earning less than Sheen's $2.5 million per episode, the source said.
The show's producer, Chuck Lorre, is "really happy" that Kutcher is set to come aboard, another source told the Hollywood Reporter.


The 33-year-old Kutcher, married to actress Demi Moore, 48, began negotiations after talks with actor Hugh Grant fell apart.
Sheen was fired from the show in March after spending two weeks making the rounds of media outlets talking trash about Lorre.
Sheen sued Lorre and the studio for $100 million for terminating his contract.
He later went on a month-long tour dubbed "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option," in which he sometimes got booed so badly that he cut the show short.
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Well, considering no details have been given yet about his exact role in the show, I'd like to think that he isn't seriously being considered as a replacement for Sheen's character, "Uncle Charlie."
 
I'm not sure that they should have replaced Charlie Sheen with anyone. I don't even like the show and I think it's going to be dumb. Imagine how the people who love the show feel.

Maybe they should have brought Emelio Estevez in. I'll bet he could use some work.
 
[quote name='2DMention']He'll be dating MILFs on the show. Who is he gonna play, the cousin?[/QUOTE]

They should call him Cousin Oliver Djumpd'Shark. Just so we all know what's going on. I always found this show mildly amusing. No way are the stars worth multi-million deals, but it's a tv sitcom. Something to watch whilst gnoshing on a pot pie.
 
[quote name='duckmustard']Anyone who thinks this show is funny needs to be stabbed repeatedly in the taint.[/QUOTE]

That.
 
[quote name='Mayson']I'm not sure that they should have replaced Charlie Sheen with anyone. I don't even like the show and I think it's going to be dumb. Imagine how the people who love the show feel.

Maybe they should have brought Emelio Estevez in. I'll bet he could use some work.[/QUOTE]

Emelio died in a cameo appearance.

Kutcher is no straightman, the show has lost it's anchor.
 
If you can see a joke coming 3-5 seconds before it is delivered, the show is trying too hard. Sitcoms are relics of a bygone era. Well-written dramas (Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Sopranos, etc) manage to be 10x funnier than ANY sitcom.
 
[quote name='keithp']Anyone wanna take a guess at how long it'll be before Demi makes a cameo on the show?[/QUOTE]

As soon as they start getting desperate. So, episode 2 then.
 
Yeah...not a fan of Kutcher myself. I never saw him as a strong actor (not to say he wasn't in good stuff), but him in 2 1/2 men, especially if he replaces Charlie...I might still watch an episode or two, but I honestly don't have my hopes up.

I'd personally prefer them to bring Charlie Sheen back. Sure he's an obnoxious asshole. but it's hard to do the show without him imo. At least Berta is good for some laughs.
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']If you can see a joke coming 3-5 seconds before it is delivered, the show is trying too hard. Sitcoms are relics of a bygone era. Well-written dramas (Breaking Bad, The Wire, The Sopranos, etc) manage to be 10x funnier than ANY sitcom.[/QUOTE]

Not really, Two and a Half Men was pulling down huge ratings, it's hardly a relic. It was slapstick comedy, classic odd couple stuff updated with a slightly more sardonic tone.

We get it - you're a badass who only respects dark comedy. Congrats, I'm sure you and your Criterion collectors edition of the Royal Tenenbaums will be very happy. I have a life and sometimes all I have time for is 10 minutes of quick laughs, and Sheen helmed Two and a Half Men fits the bill perfectly.
 
[quote name='camoor']Not really, Two and a Half Men was pulling down huge ratings, it's hardly a relic. It was slapstick comedy, classic odd couple stuff updated with a slightly more sardonic tone.

We get it - you're a badass who only respects dark comedy. Congrats, I'm sure you and your Criterion collectors edition of the Royal Tenenbaums will be very happy. I have a life and sometimes all I have time for is 10 minutes of quick laughs, and Sheen helmed Two and a Half Men fits the bill perfectly.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

He's watched the director's commentary and secret director's commentary (which can only be unlocked with appropriate apathy) over 10 times and he won't take shit from anyone!
 
[quote name='camoor']Not really, Two and a Half Men was pulling down huge ratings, it's hardly a relic. It was slapstick comedy, classic odd couple stuff updated with a slightly more sardonic tone.

We get it - you're a badass who only respects dark comedy. Congrats, I'm sure you and your Criterion collectors edition of the Royal Tenenbaums will be very happy. I have a life and sometimes all I have time for is 10 minutes of quick laughs, and Sheen helmed Two and a Half Men fits the bill perfectly.[/QUOTE]
*puts on hipster glasses, cracks a PBR*

"I used to like Two and Half Men, but now it's too mainstream."
 
Let's face it...Ashton Kutcher needs a job. That's why he grabbed the gig.

Personally I thought the show was funny in bits but its not my cup of tea. I kinda like the Big Bang Theory a little better actually.
 
[quote name='camoor']Emelio died in a cameo appearance.

Kutcher is no straightman, the show has lost it's anchor.[/QUOTE]

He could be Emelio's brother Emelio 2. It's not any more retarded than having Ashton Cutcher.

They'll probably make Kutcher be banging Charlie's mom on the show.

Does anyone know how they are going to write Charlie Sheen out of the show? Is he supposed to have died? Maybe they'll say that he got blown up by a torpedo from the submarine the USS truth or something equally spiteful.
 
The shows ratings will be high on the intro however if people don't like him they will be like charlie said a 2.0.

They should have just rehired Charlie, EVERYBODY and there mama would have watched and waited for something to happen. Tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.
 
The fact that it was one of the most highly rated shows on TV makes me realize how out of touch I am with how dumb people in America are.
 
[quote name='Mayson']He could be Emelio's brother Emelio 2. It's not any more retarded than having Ashton Cutcher.

They'll probably make Kutcher be banging Charlie's mom on the show.

Does anyone know how they are going to write Charlie Sheen out of the show? Is he supposed to have died? Maybe they'll say that he got blown up by a torpedo from the submarine the USS truth or something equally spiteful.[/QUOTE]
I like where you're going with the Emilio 2 idea.

I heard that they're going to write Charlie out of the show by making his character bang an 8-gram rock.
 
REALLY???!!!?

This has FAIL written all over it. Way to ruin a show...

Ashton Kutcher == horrible actor. He should have stayed a male model instead of polluting our TV series and films with his utterly horrible acting skills and emotional range of a child. How the fuck can you have 2 and 1/2 men without Charlie Sheen and Allan (not to mention the chubby kid)...? WTF are they gonna do, re-cast the entire show around Ashton Kutcher's character (I dont see how the show could work otherwise)? Sounds too lame for words, and words cannot express how fucking disappointed I am. Either bring Charlie back or cancel the show and move on...

This is just a weak attempt to keep Chuck Lorre's pockets lined with wads of cash. It is a blatant cash grab that is set to capitalize on the fame and hype of the original 2 and 1/2 men, and probably wont be nearly as amusing. I will not even bother wasting my time watching this impending train-wreck.

The sad part is that if they put any thought into it, and their butt-hurt feelings aside, they could rehire Charlie Sheen, and they could capitalize on all this publicity they (and Charlie) have been receiving and the show would probably be more popular than ever. They are throwing away a golden opportunity to make tons of money and fans IMHO. Stupid move...
 
[quote name='RedRingOfDeath']
Ashton Kutcher == horrible actor. He should have stayed a male model instead of polluting our TV series and films with his utterly horrible acting skills and emotional range of a child.[/QUOTE]

Well, to be fair, Jon Cryer and Sheen are not exactly Marlon Brando either. The last movie I saw Cryer in was the 80s movie where he's a lawyer that goes into witness protection at a high school. Charlie Sheen long ago shit away his potential to be a great actor. To go from Platoon to a shitty sitcom is quite the drop.
 
[quote name='davo1224']The fact that it was one of the most highly rated shows on TV makes me realize how out of touch I am with how dumb people in America are.[/QUOTE]

I've started to realize that with trying to catch a few of these "popular" shows... I just don't think there's humor at all, and I agree 100% with the previous comment when you know a "humor moment" is coming from a mile away.
 
He seems like a nice enough fella, but doesn't have much talent when it comes to diversity as an actor. He's always the funny guy and I guess that's fine and all.. good for him. Unfortunately, people will continue to watch this garbagio.
 
I'm happy that some people like the show, I really am. I just can't deal with laugh tracks. I dunno what happened to me, I used to watch TGIF for fuck's sake, I just can't hang like I used to.

Kutcher will be fine in the sense that he'll at least help carry the show to some kind of conclusion.
 
And this is what kills the show. Id say its on the air for 2 seasons max before they cancel it.

I never really liked the show a lot but sheen was to me atleast, 75% of the shows attraction. He might be a dillusional asshole in real life but he was perfect for that show and was the majority of the reason most people watched it I think.

But ashton, he cant act worth a shit. Even for a sitcom he cant act, he has basically gotten by on being pretty. Because if he was ugly, he would be digging ditches right now with a road crew.

It doesnt effect me though, I hate sitcoms. They annoy me profoundly now, I used to like them but past 10 years I just cant watch them anymore. The only exception to the rule is I love Fraiser, that show is great.
 
I'm really not sure why they feel the need to re-cast this. I mean, the character of Charlie Harper is a drunken jerk. Hasn't Sheen just proven he's tailor-made for a such a role?

Joking aside, I really have no interest in seeing how this plays out. I barely liked the show to begin with, now I can't imagine watching even 5 minutes worth.
 
[quote name='gargus']It doesnt effect me though, I hate sitcoms. They annoy me profoundly now, I used to like them but past 10 years I just cant watch them anymore. The only exception to the rule is I love Fraiser, that show is great.[/QUOTE]

I don't like today's sitcoms either.

My favorite sitcom was Newsradio but I also enjoy Cheers and Seinfeld reruns. Those shows are absolute classics.

I think Friends killed it - before Friends sitcoms had to have an angle and good chemistry between the characters, now many of them are all about throwing a bunch of attractive twenty or thirty somethings together and banging out tiresome, schlocky, painfully obvious plots.

I honestly think that 'Full House' was a better show then 'How I Met Your Mother' or 'Big Bang Theory' Just awful television, awful.
 
[quote name='ROB64']The show stopped being funny years ago, I don't see why they would want to continue it.[/QUOTE]

Same reason Wheel Of Fortune is still on. Old people love that shit. It's also why there's like 8 CSI's and 4 NCIS's.

Sheen really needs to take a vacation and then do like Val Kilmer or Downy Jr. and bring his own career back bigger than ever. Maybe do Platoon 2: Born On The 5th Of July.
 
[quote name='crunchb3rry']Same reason Wheel Of Fortune is still on. Old people love that shit. It's also why there's like 8 CSI's and 4 NCIS's.

Sheen really needs to take a vacation and then do like Val Kilmer or Downy Jr. and bring his own career back bigger than ever. Maybe do Platoon 2: Born On The 5th Of July.[/QUOTE]

I don't see how Val Kilmer is back.
 
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