Best worst-date stories.

Full_Throttle

Full_Throttle

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To start the thread, I'll put my story. My friend John and I had been looking around for girls to pick up since about the end of shcool (mid-June). Driving around, hitting all the coffee houses, checking out small-venue concerts, going to underage clubs, and anything else a minor can do to pick someone up. About three weeks into our misadventures, he calls me and tells me he got some hookups. From his friend. At another highschool. I see some pictures on MySpace, talk to the girls a couple of times on the phone and via MySpace mail, and generally get to know them. We decide to meet up at the local mall.

John and I are putting on cologne, getting dressed up semi-nicely, and just doing whatever people would normally do to get ready for a date. When we finally get to the mall, we just kinda sit around waiting for them to call us. We get a call, and are told to meet up at the Macy's. I suddenly have a bout of uneasiness and I say to John "Hey, listen, what if they're really fucking disgusting? If I yawn and rub my eyes, that means we need to get the hell out." He also has the same feeling as I, and he pretend-runs away and laughs "Don't worry man, you saw pictures of her. She's hella good looking." So we sit on the bench and wait for like two minutes. From behind me I hear this "HEY! JIM!" I turn around, and look for the person who said it. All I see are these two gargantuan figures, who look like the female IRL equivalents of those South Park kids in the WoW episode. Fat, oily, with herpes-like zits all over the mouth, and a miserable makeup job trying to cover it up. I nearly vomit in my mouth.

Naturally, the first thing I do is yawn and rub one eye, trying to avoid looking at them for fear that a deluge of shit in the shape of bricks will form in my mouth, being so far backed up from my intestines. I quickly try to devise a plan while speaking to them:

Me: Hey, so, the mall is kinda boring, and I forgot to bring my wallet so we can't really do any shopping. Wanna go meet up like at your house or something?
Them: Yeah, sure!
Me: Alright, I'm parked right out front. Where are you?
Them: Oh, just right around the corner.
Me: Alright, can you meet us up front?
Them: Uh, what?
John saves me from this by saying: Yeah, Jim is really personal about his car.
Me: Yeah, only my best friends can come in, and I really don't know you that well yet. But I hope I will.
Them: Oh, haha, alright. What does your car look like?
Me: It's just a regular car. You know, with wheels. And seats.
Them: There are lots of cars with wheels and seats. *giggle*
Me: Trust me, you'll know it.

They quickly walk off to get to their car, in hopes of getting laid with a sex god like me, as we all know I am.

John: OH MY MOTHERfuckING JESUS GOD! THOSE ARE THE UGLIEST GIRLS I'VE EVER SEEN!
Me: HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT. HOLY SHIT.

We bolt. We sprint all the way to my car, jump in as fast as possible, and get the hell out of there. I took the right of way at about 5 stop signs. We get on the highway and never look back. They called us for about 4 hours afterwards. 'My' girl eventually leaves a message on my phone: "I don't know who the HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE" I just shut it off and delete the message. Stupid move, since it could've provided epic lulz. A week later I call her back and leave a message "Yeah, hi, uh, listen... I kind of... 'accidentally'... uh, deleted your message. So if you could, um, you know, just call me back on my phone and, uh, leave another message? That'd be great, and yeah, I'd really appreciate it. So, uh, thanks, yeah."

Respect for myself > my respect for lying MySpace camwhores.
 
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Lol. Mine was a near hit, the kind of "woah thank God I missed the target" near hit.

There was that girl on Skyrock's chatroom (Myspace, in french) and she seemed cute on the thumbnail. I told her she was cute, we talked a bit, then I checked her profile, where a bigger version of the picture was available.

Lesson: Never trust thumbnails.
 
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The guy had a W '04 bumper sticker on his car.

I ended up dating him for a bit over a year. Big mistake, that. Should've run away when I saw the damn bumper sticker.
 
i had a date awhile ago with a girl who...was quite huge (blind date) and smelled like cabbage...i thought she would be cool since she was into anime and videogames ...my mom drove me (i was in high school still), and upon hearing that my mom would be there, wanted to fix up her newly single dad with my mom...which was really awkward in itself....she also stopped to draw me several times
 
I got a fun college story about a girl named Julie:
So i'm at a Halloween party and this girl is dressed like Uma Thurman from Kill Bill. Really hot outfit, she's got the hair down and nice moves to go with it. So we're talking for a bit, I tell her I dig the costume, it's much cooler than mine (I don't even remember what I wore, it was just talk).
The next night we're hanging out in my dorm, my roommate takes off for Seattle to visit her girl so the place is just ours. We're talking, things get pretty a little comfortable, clothes start coming off, and then I realize that this is the skinniest girl i've ever seen.
NSFW from this point on:
I never figured out why she was so damn skinny but regardless I was not attracted to her, but she just didn't get the hint and kept trying to "appease" me. She even went as far as to try and stick a finger in my ass while giving me head and that's when the night was officially over (not in a good way, i told her to get the fuck out) and i think my story ends here.
 
Well I started dating this woman when I was younger, unfortunately she was 26 and I was a senior in high school. Long story short she ended up being my substitute teacher for a little over a week. One of the more weirder experiences of my life. We ended up breaking off our little illicit love affair a month later. Although it was kinda cool dating my teacher for a while.
 
didnt happen to me, but my best friend went all out to try to impress this one girl. took her to a fancy ass restaurant, seafood, steaks and shat.. expensive stuff. they get there and all she eats is salad. he got pissed, ordered for two and ate all the food in front of her to show her what she was missing out on.
 
After taking a girl to a rather nice French fusion restaurant in Philadelphia a long while back, I realized that something about the meal was off. In a split second I went from feeling fine to vomiting uncontrollably.

On her. Mid coitus.

The worst part was that I panicked, threw my clothes on, and ran out of her apartment without saying a word. I never heard from her again. It was our first date.

:(
 
Talking to a girl on myspace for a bit, looks real cute in her pictures. We decide to meet at a restaurant, so I sit patiently waiting at the bar. She arrives, taps my shoulder, I turn around, and see the scariest looking hoe I have ever seen. She looked like a man, I kid you not. Like a fat trucker man.

Never trust pics on the webs. I mean, it was her in the pics, but this was before she let herself go it seems.
 
myspacefakemo4.jpg
 
[quote name='Full_Throttle']

John and I are putting on cologne, getting dressed up semi-nicely, and just doing whatever people would normally do to get ready for a date. When we finally get to the mall, we just kinda sit around waiting for them to call us. We get a call, and are told to meet up at the Macy's. I suddenly have a bout of uneasiness and I say to John "Hey, listen, what if they're really fucking disgusting? If I yawn and rub my eyes, that means we need to get the hell out." He also has the same feeling as I, and he pretend-runs away and laughs "Don't worry man, you saw pictures of her. She's hella good looking." So we sit on the bench and wait for like two minutes. From behind me I hear this "HEY! JIM!" I turn around, and look for the person who said it. All I see are these two gargantuan figures, who look like the female IRL equivalents of those South Park kids in the WoW episode. Fat, oily, with herpes-like zits all over the mouth, and a miserable makeup job trying to cover it up. I nearly vomit in my mouth.

.[/quote]

Guaranteed the girls were saying the same exact thing about both of you. :D
 
[quote name='thesimplicity']After taking a girl to a rather nice French fusion restaurant in Philadelphia a long while back, I realized that something about the meal was off. In a split second I went from feeling fine to vomiting uncontrollably.

On her. Mid coitus.

The worst part was that I panicked, threw my clothes on, and ran out of her apartment without saying a word. I never heard from her again. It was our first date.

:([/quote]

We have a winner. I'm having a hard time trying not to laugh uncontrollably and wake everyone up.

Oh and yeah, MySpace can be pretty deceiving. I just met a girl there and I havn't seen her yet. Now you're giving me nightmares!
 
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I had a chick throw up on me while she was going down on me, yes we had been drinking and yes I grabbed the back of her neck and shoved my cock into her throat until her lips were on my taint, but still. I mean, be a trooper and hold it back.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']I had a chick throw up on me while she was going down on me, yes we had been drinking and yes I grabbed the back of her neck and shoved my cock into her throat until her lips were on my taint, but still. I mean, be a trooper and hold it back.[/QUOTE]

Wow, haven't laughed that hard in a long ass time.
 
It was back in high school and it was the prom. I was taking a girl and she decided that she wanted to go to a specific restaurant. Only problem is that the restaurant is 45 minutes away, so I say screw it, why not, and I take her up there. All the way there she's not saying much, all during dinner she isn't saying much, or eating much, and all on the ride down she's not saying much either. We get to the prom dance and about a half-hour in, she ends up hooking up with a different guy and leaves right then. fucking-A!
 
so ill tell one about one of my friends since thats apparently allowed. so my buddy takes this girl he has liked down to an open mic night at a local coffee bar in town cause shes all artsy and shit. after a little while the open mic stuff begins and the first person who steps up is my buddies ex-girlfriend who proceeds to read three poems about my friend and how him leaving her has caused her to consider killing herself and ending all of her pain. this wouldnt be so bad, but during the final one she breaks down starts crying and begins to yell at my friend for bringing his date to "their coffee" bar, which i know for a fact they never went to.

he took his date home at the end of the night, and she never answered another call from him again.
 
[quote name='Jesus_S_Preston']God dayum. I tried to read that paragraph, but my eyes said NO.[/quote]

any specific reason?
 
There was this one girl I used to have a huge crush on. She wasn't like drop dead gorgeous hot, but she was very cute and I was immensely attracted to her. Also she was very shy, which for some reason is a trait that's usually appealing to me.

The fact is, that she was so shy that she would hardly talk to anyone. However, for a certain reason, there was this one small class we were both in early in the morning. I would rarely sleep and would be really tired, so I wouldn't talk much. However, she'd tell me all sorts of things about her life and I was always really interested, even if my facial expression didn't say so. Once someone else entered the room, whether it was a teacher or another student, she'd just clam up and not talk at all. I'm not usually a very confident guy/am very passive (my biggest flaw s according to just about everyone who knows me), but I started to get the feeling this girl was into me. My friends were concurring with me.

As the days through the semester went on, she started getting more and more flirtatious. Finally one day, I thought I had hit my big break. She sorta asked if I wanted to get some food with her.
For someone so shy, this had to be the start of something, right?

I initially assumed that there would be other people there, but lo and behold, at the fated hour it was just the two of us. We wind up eating and talking, and had some reasonably deep conversations for 3-4 hours. I had a great time. I was looking forward to doing this again. And again it happened.

After a handful more of these dinner+talks, I made up my mind I was finally going to ask her out. Her facebook status had her as "married to another girl" which I knew was a joke, so I was willing to bet she was still single. We had talked fairly often and she had never raised mention of a significant other.

So I start our next one on one time together steadily building up what I'm saying to her, working up my courage to the point where I am finally going to just ask her out. And I'm starting to become very overt (by my standards) in professing what I have to say, and I think for the first time she realized where I was going. She gently brings up her boyfriend on some topic of conversation, and I felt I had been sucker punched in the gut.I meekly talk to her for another 15-20 minutes before making up some excuse to leave (homework or something). I was really devastated.

It turns out she was dating some 25 (26 now?) year old guy who lives in California. He went to a completely different college than we did (I go to school in new york), so I guess they met in high school at some point. I know she lived in Arizona. I was tempted to ask her how serious the relationship was, but couldn't bring myself to do it. My friends kept insisting that I still had a great shot with her, and should still make a harder move and just put the question on the table. I couldn't do it.

Although this technically wasn't a date, it was still a very depressing 1 on 1 experience with a girl. Sadly the previous girl I had a crush on also got taken before I asked her out, but we also hit it off from day one. She still uses me as a soundboard and tells me things that "she can't even tell her boyfriend" (her words, not mine). The second girl's boyfriend is in a frat and one time her bf's frat brothers saw me and her alone and thought she was cheating on him (=] for me, the guy's a douche).

I guess in the end, I just have terrible luck with woman. Oh well, I'm sure I'll "get lucky" one of these days.
 
[quote name='darkcecil32'] Wow, Long Story HERE[/quote]

But Dude, Seriously, I read that and remember what I went through.

Ok, 8th grade. First major crush (and I mean MAJOR, this girl was so fucking hot, that you could crack an egg in a pan, walk by her, and within a second that egg would be over easy).

Anyway, I had been working up the nerve to ask her out. I'd been talking to her for a while at this point (Little over a year, we had talked over the summer but I digress).As time passed, talked to one of my "Close" friends. He kept telling me that I should ask her out, and kept doing it. all the while, growing closer to her. Like to the point i'd eat with her at lunch and stuff.

Well, I finally walked over and...
Me: "Hey, do you wanna go out with me sometime?"
Her: "..."
Me: "What?"
Her: "I'm...really not interested in dating..."
Me:"Oh..."

See, at this moment, it felt like she should have just jammed Gae Bolg* into me. But, My story gets worse.

--Days Later. at lunch--
Me: Hey, has anyone seen *Censored*?
Other Friend: Dude!? You didn't hear!?
Me: Hear...Hear what?
Other Friend: He's eating with his girlfriend now
Me: What!? He has a girlfriend!? Who is it!? I wanna go Harass the,m both!
Other Friend:...Its (Name of Girl I liked).

At that moment, It felt like the barbs spread. I mean, I felt dead inside. I mean, my own friend dated the girl I had a crush on. You wanna talk about moments in life that suck, there you go.

Eh, Either way, in the end, she ended up going out with about every friend I had, and turned out to be a bad girlfriend from what they've told me. But hey, what do I care? I'm happily engaged now.
 
[quote name='KaleKatsura']
Eh, Either way, in the end, she ended up going out with about every friend I had, and turned out to be a bad girlfriend from what they've told me. But hey, what do I care? I'm happily engaged now.[/quote]

Yeah, that was by far my longest CAG post. Oh well, I'm starting my first blog now, and those should be massive. Power to you, my friend. Power to you :applause:.
 
[quote name='darkcecil32']Yeah, that was by far my longest CAG post. Oh well, I'm starting my first blog now, and those should be massive. Power to you, my friend. Power to you :applause:.[/quote]

Same. I mean, I really havent been here a long time "actively". And thanks. We've been together 5 years, and are planning on getting married in 3 more (when she finishes college)
 
So my friend sent me this Facebook profile of a girl with the same car as (one of) my cars. I simply messaged her, telling her I liked her car, and soon enough, we were chatting up a storm. Having made e-friends in the past, and knowing how difficult it can be to be friends IRL if you don't meet up within the first week or so, I asked her if she wanted to get a bite to eat sometime.

One day, we end up getting some food to go and taking it back to my place to watch Pulp Fiction. I begin to tell her about this vodka I infused a week earlier. She want to try some, so I get it out of the fridge and we start to sample it. She professes to me that she has drank quite a bit on a few occasions, but has never managed to get drunk. Next thing you know, we're on a mission, taking shot after shot until we're at the point where alcohol has lost all of it's taste and you're headed straight for destruction. After consuming all of my vodka, some of my gin, almost all of my schnapps, and other various liquids, my memory starts to get fuzzy. I've never blacked out in my entire life (other than surgeries) until that day. I think we did at least 12 shots a piece. I remember walking to the bathroom with her lying on my couch, then I forgot what I did in there (I found some puke on my clothes the next day ... so I presume I threw up). I came out to the living room and she was no longer there. I checked my bedroom and she had found her way onto my bed, passed out cold. After a few minutes of observing her, she starts to puke in her sleep on my bed. I force her to wake up and convince her to take a shower while I wash my sheets and comforter.

I heard shampoo bottles flying everywhere and her falling down in the shower repeatedly. She later told me it was the hardest shower she ever had to take. After her shower, I wash her clothes and give her some of mine to wear for a while. She proceeds to pass out in my bed for 20 HOURS STRAIGHT while I spend the following day puking my fucking guts out, unable to hold any type of liquid or solid down. I almost checked myself into the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

That's the craziest first date I've ever had.
 
[quote name='theHeat']So my friend sent me this Facebook profile of a girl with the same car as (one of) my cars. I simply messaged her, telling her I liked her car, and soon enough, we were chatting up a storm. Having made e-friends in the past, and knowing how difficult it can be to be friends IRL if you don't meet up within the first week or so, I asked her if she wanted to get a bite to eat sometime.

One day, we end up getting some food to go and taking it back to my place to watch Pulp Fiction. I begin to tell her about this vodka I infused a week earlier. She want to try some, so I get it out of the fridge and we start to sample it. She professes to me that she has drank quite a bit on a few occasions, but has never managed to get drunk. Next thing you know, we're on a mission, taking shot after shot until we're at the point where alcohol has lost all of it's taste and you're headed straight for destruction. After consuming all of my vodka, some of my gin, almost all of my schnapps, and other various liquids, my memory starts to get fuzzy. I've never blacked out in my entire life (other than surgeries) until that day. I think we did at least 12 shots a piece. I remember walking to the bathroom with her lying on my couch, then I forgot what I did in there (I found some puke on my clothes the next day ... so I presume I threw up). I came out to the living room and she was no longer there. I checked my bedroom and she had found her way onto my bed, passed out cold. After a few minutes of observing her, she starts to puke in her sleep on my bed. I force her to wake up and convince her to take a shower while I wash my sheets and comforter.

I heard shampoo bottles flying everywhere and her falling down in the shower repeatedly. She later told me it was the hardest shower she ever had to take. After her shower, I wash her clothes and give her some of mine to wear for a while. She proceeds to pass out in my bed for 20 HOURS STRAIGHT while I spend the following day puking my fucking guts out, unable to hold any type of liquid or solid down. I almost checked myself into the hospital for alcohol poisoning.

That's the craziest first date I've ever had.[/quote]


Was there a second date?

Edit: Awesome story, regardless.
 
:lol:.. trying not to get too detailed here.

Met a guy online. He was surprisingly better looking then his picture he sent me. That very rarely happens. So we go to his house and chill for awhile. We do our thing (:cool:) and then we hear his mom come in. He FLIPS. Apparently, no one knew about him. He's like "WAIT HERE" and pretty much HID me under his sheets. About 10 minutes goes by, and he comes back and he's like ::pANIC ATTACK::..so, long story short the plan was to CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW, ONTO THE ROOF, LOWER MYSELF ON THE GARAGE, AND JUMP OFF THE GARAGE and go wait LAYING DOWN in the backseat of his car.

....And I did it, :lol:

Yet After ALL that, I'm the one who didn't get called back. But really, it's hard to date/fuck someone at their parents house when they aren't out yet.

--

Another time, I was with someone and I was horny so I decided to get what was rightfully mine. He was acting like a fool, and giving me a hard time. Like.. who cares that we just met? STFU and pull that shit out. So, eventually I got that to come out.

:roll:

This had to be the smallest motha fuckin dick I EVER seen. This had to be no bigger then 4 inches. Oh, my GOD. AND.. AND it was like ::pENCIL:: thin. I looked at him and went Seriously? What in the world do you expect me to do with THIS?

Proceedeed to LOL in his face and asked him to leave.
 
[quote name='lilboo']:lol:.. trying not to get too detailed here.

Met a guy online. He was surprisingly better looking then his picture he sent me. That very rarely happens. So we go to his house and chill for awhile. We do our thing (:cool:) and then we hear his mom come in. He FLIPS. Apparently, no one knew about him. He's like "WAIT HERE" and pretty much HID me under his sheets. About 10 minutes goes by, and he comes back and he's like ::pANIC ATTACK::..so, long story short the plan was to CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW, ONTO THE ROOF, LOWER MYSELF ON THE GARAGE, AND JUMP OFF THE GARAGE and go wait LAYING DOWN in the backseat of his car.

....And I did it, :lol:

Yet After ALL that, I'm the one who didn't get called back. But really, it's hard to date/fuck someone at their parents house when they aren't out yet.

--

Another time, I was with someone and I was horny so I decided to get what was rightfully mine. He was acting like a fool, and giving me a hard time. Like.. who cares that we just met? STFU and pull that shit out. So, eventually I got that to come out.

:roll:

This had to be the smallest motha fuckin dick I EVER seen. This had to be no bigger then 4 inches. Oh, my GOD. AND.. AND it was like ::pENCIL:: thin. I looked at him and went Seriously? What in the world do you expect me to do with THIS?

Proceedeed to LOL in his face and asked him to leave.[/QUOTE]

I love you.
 
[quote name='lilboo']This had to be the smallest motha fuckin dick I EVER seen. This had to be no bigger then 4 inches. Oh, my GOD. AND.. AND it was like ::pENCIL:: thin. I looked at him and went Seriously? What in the world do you expect me to do with THIS?

Proceedeed to LOL in his face and asked him to leave.[/quote]
Poor dude. :lol:
 
[quote name='lilboo']:lol:.. trying not to get too detailed here.

Met a guy online. He was surprisingly better looking then his picture he sent me. That very rarely happens. So we go to his house and chill for awhile. We do our thing (:cool:) and then we hear his mom come in. He FLIPS. Apparently, no one knew about him. He's like "WAIT HERE" and pretty much HID me under his sheets. About 10 minutes goes by, and he comes back and he's like ::pANIC ATTACK::..so, long story short the plan was to CLIMB OUT THE WINDOW, ONTO THE ROOF, LOWER MYSELF ON THE GARAGE, AND JUMP OFF THE GARAGE and go wait LAYING DOWN in the backseat of his car.

....And I did it, :lol:

Yet After ALL that, I'm the one who didn't get called back. But really, it's hard to date/fuck someone at their parents house when they aren't out yet.

--

Another time, I was with someone and I was horny so I decided to get what was rightfully mine. He was acting like a fool, and giving me a hard time. Like.. who cares that we just met? STFU and pull that shit out. So, eventually I got that to come out.

:roll:

This had to be the smallest motha fuckin dick I EVER seen. This had to be no bigger then 4 inches. Oh, my GOD. AND.. AND it was like ::pENCIL:: thin. I looked at him and went Seriously? What in the world do you expect me to do with THIS?

Proceedeed to LOL in his face and asked him to leave.[/quote]

Damn dude I cringed when I read this....but then I LOL"D
 
I just had a terrible date about a month ago, goes sorta like this:

So I started talking to this chick on Myspace cause I thought her personality and looks were class A (to me). So, she starts messaging me on AOL, and leaves me cute comments on my mypsace. Long story short, she seemed like she was into me and we seemed compatible, so we make plans to hang out soon.

So, I realize she has a boyfriend, and decide not to do anything risky yet. So, on July 4th, I'm told by this girl she broke up with her boyfriend because he was being anal about her hanging out with other guys. So, we make plans to hang out that night. So, I met her at this neighborhood party thing, and we start to talk. We only talk for about an hour, and all of a sudden, she gets a call and has to "urgently help out a friend in trouble." Now, I don't know if this is true, but she still insists it honestly was.

So anyway, I try calling her once a day for the next 3 days, and then I finally get a response.

Her: I'm back with my boyfriend, sorry to lead you on like a stupid asshole.
Me: Oh, so we can't hang out anymore?
Her: No my boyfriend really doesn't want me hanging out with any guys unless he knows them.
Me: Oh, so you're letting him control you. How unique of a girl.
Her: NO, I'M RESPECTING HIS WISHES!!!.
Me: And that's why you broke up with him the other day?

Long story short, I don't talk to her anymore. I don't know if she had some stupid attachment issues or if she saw me and said "ah, my boyfriend was better," but screw that. Last time I ever meet someone through myspace.
 
[quote name='KaleKatsura']
But Dude, Seriously, I read that and remember what I went through.

Ok, 8th grade. First major crush (and I mean MAJOR, this girl was so fucking hot, that you could crack an egg in a pan, walk by her, and within a second that egg would be over easy).

Anyway, I had been working up the nerve to ask her out. I'd been talking to her for a while at this point (Little over a year, we had talked over the summer but I digress).As time passed, talked to one of my "Close" friends. He kept telling me that I should ask her out, and kept doing it. all the while, growing closer to her. Like to the point i'd eat with her at lunch and stuff.

Well, I finally walked over and...
Me: "Hey, do you wanna go out with me sometime?"
Her: "..."
Me: "What?"
Her: "I'm...really not interested in dating..."
Me:"Oh..."

See, at this moment, it felt like she should have just jammed Gae Bolg* into me. But, My story gets worse.

--Days Later. at lunch--
Me: Hey, has anyone seen *Censored*?
Other Friend: Dude!? You didn't hear!?
Me: Hear...Hear what?
Other Friend: He's eating with his girlfriend now
Me: What!? He has a girlfriend!? Who is it!? I wanna go Harass the,m both!
Other Friend:...Its (Name of Girl I liked).

At that moment, It felt like the barbs spread. I mean, I felt dead inside. I mean, my own friend dated the girl I had a crush on. You wanna talk about moments in life that suck, there you go.

Eh, Either way, in the end, she ended up going out with about every friend I had, and turned out to be a bad girlfriend from what they've told me. But hey, what do I care? I'm happily engaged now.
[/quote]

That happened to me once.
Sucked.
Hard.
 
[quote name='lilboo']
This had to be the smallest motha fuckin dick I EVER seen. This had to be no bigger then 4 inches. Oh, my GOD. AND.. AND it was like ::pENCIL:: thin. I looked at him and went Seriously? What in the world do you expect me to do with THIS?

Proceedeed to LOL in his face and asked him to leave.[/quote]

Was that 4 inches fully erect, because otherwise, you're really mean.

Scratch that, you're really mean anyway. But at least we'll know whether you have crazy standards of size.
 
Let's see, my worst date is an easy one:

Met a girl at a party, got her number, talked online/on the phone for a few weeks. She had a boyfriend though. Well, then they broke up. So, we're going out, I meet her up at her work. All of a sudden, we aren't having good conversation (had it on the phone just fine). Some awkward silences. She worked at a restaurant and was sitting at a table. A couple of her friends show up, she never introduces me, nor do they acknowledge my existance.

So, I'm thinking about dodging, but I suck with women, so I ride it out. Might get better. She likes put put golfing, so we go to the closest place (which was probably the best one in the area).

We drive our separate calls. We park next to each other, then she proceeds to sit in her car for 5 minutes. After that, she gets up and walks very fast to the bathroom. At this point, not sure if she's sick or what, but sort of hoping if she isn't sick, she's just ditching.

She comes out in 5 minutes, smiles, apologizes, and says for me to get in line. I do, get our balls (she's sitting on a bench), and i go to her. Well, after I pay, she decides that she doesn't want to play there, and just wants to go home and call her boyfriend. I'm dumbfounded, we say goodbye, she leaves.

Having nothing better to do, I played a round of put put by myself (by far the best part of the date, though you do get odd looks going throught the course alone). I also kept one of the balls. I keep it in the car so, after a bad day, or if I'm stuck in traffic, I remember that it could always be worse.
 
[quote name='darkcecil32']There was this one girl I used to have a huge crush on. She wasn't like drop dead gorgeous hot, but she was very cute and I was immensely attracted to her. Also she was very shy, which for some reason is a trait that's usually appealing to me.

The fact is, that she was so shy that she would hardly talk to anyone. However, for a certain reason, there was this one small class we were both in early in the morning. I would rarely sleep and would be really tired, so I wouldn't talk much. However, she'd tell me all sorts of things about her life and I was always really interested, even if my facial expression didn't say so. Once someone else entered the room, whether it was a teacher or another student, she'd just clam up and not talk at all. I'm not usually a very confident guy/am very passive (my biggest flaw s according to just about everyone who knows me), but I started to get the feeling this girl was into me. My friends were concurring with me.

As the days through the semester went on, she started getting more and more flirtatious. Finally one day, I thought I had hit my big break. She sorta asked if I wanted to get some food with her.
For someone so shy, this had to be the start of something, right?

I initially assumed that there would be other people there, but lo and behold, at the fated hour it was just the two of us. We wind up eating and talking, and had some reasonably deep conversations for 3-4 hours. I had a great time. I was looking forward to doing this again. And again it happened.

After a handful more of these dinner+talks, I made up my mind I was finally going to ask her out. Her facebook status had her as "married to another girl" which I knew was a joke, so I was willing to bet she was still single. We had talked fairly often and she had never raised mention of a significant other.

So I start our next one on one time together steadily building up what I'm saying to her, working up my courage to the point where I am finally going to just ask her out. And I'm starting to become very overt (by my standards) in professing what I have to say, and I think for the first time she realized where I was going. She gently brings up her boyfriend on some topic of conversation, and I felt I had been sucker punched in the gut.I meekly talk to her for another 15-20 minutes before making up some excuse to leave (homework or something). I was really devastated.

It turns out she was dating some 25 (26 now?) year old guy who lives in California. He went to a completely different college than we did (I go to school in new york), so I guess they met in high school at some point. I know she lived in Arizona. I was tempted to ask her how serious the relationship was, but couldn't bring myself to do it. My friends kept insisting that I still had a great shot with her, and should still make a harder move and just put the question on the table. I couldn't do it.

Although this technically wasn't a date, it was still a very depressing 1 on 1 experience with a girl. Sadly the previous girl I had a crush on also got taken before I asked her out, but we also hit it off from day one. She still uses me as a soundboard and tells me things that "she can't even tell her boyfriend" (her words, not mine). The second girl's boyfriend is in a frat and one time her bf's frat brothers saw me and her alone and thought she was cheating on him (=] for me, the guy's a douche).

I guess in the end, I just have terrible luck with woman. Oh well, I'm sure I'll "get lucky" one of these days.[/QUOTE]


I got one kinda like this..... Local Pizza Hut.
This waitress and I kinda hit it off(or though I thought) the first time we meet. Stuff like her talking to me and only me even when I was with a groups of people. She'd give me extra toppings and stuff when I went in for lunch, and the girl that sat people down always said I'll tell her you're here and put me in her section when I got there. Just stuff like that.

Anyways, after a while I finally decide that today's the day and decide to ask her out.

I say to her "Hey you wanna catch a movie or something sometime?"

She responds, "I'd like to, but my girlfriend is kinda possesive and I'm pretty loyal to her"......

TRY and respond to that after you ask someone out.......
 
[quote name='Rags']I got one kinda like this..... Local Pizza Hut.
This waitress and I kinda hit it off(or though I thought) the first time we meet. Stuff like her talking to me and only me even when I was with a groups of people. She'd give me extra toppings and stuff when I went in for lunch, and the girl that sat people down always said I'll tell her you're here and put me in her section when I got there. Just stuff like that.

Anyways, after a while I finally decide that today's the day and decide to ask her out.

I say to her "Hey you wanna catch a movie or something sometime?"

She responds, "I'd like to, but my girlfriend is kinda possesive and I'm pretty loyal to her"......

TRY and respond to that after you ask someone out.......[/quote]

Press harder. Go for the opening that the modifier "pretty" gave to describing her loyalty.
 
[quote name='KaleKatsura']Same. I mean, I really havent been here a long time "actively". And thanks. We've been together 5 years, and are planning on getting married in 3 more (when she finishes college)[/quote]

Congratulations! I'm not always a fan of people getting married so young after 1/2 year relationships, but 5 years, let alone 8 at that point in time would be a very strong relationship. I'm happy to hear that.


[quote name='Rags']

I say to her "Hey you wanna catch a movie or something sometime?"

She responds, "I'd like to, but my girlfriend is kinda possesive and I'm pretty loyal to her"......

TRY and respond to that after you ask someone out.......[/quote]


=/. That really sucks, man. But hey, it's better than being straight up shot down. At least now you know, in all likelihood (unless she's bisexual) that NO guy has a chance with her.
 
[quote name='darkcecil32']Congratulations! I'm not always a fan of people getting married so young after 1/2 year relationships, but 5 years, let alone 8 at that point in time would be a very strong relationship. I'm happy to hear that..[/quote]

Yeah, (I'll be 21 on the 16th, and She just turned 19.) I usually have a problem with it too, but at this point for us its more or less "Y know, we've been through a lot, we're staying together, might as well make it offical". Also, I met her 3 years after the thing with the "Friend" happened (2003), and unfortunately, its still a long distance relationship (Her in Maine, me in Ohio), But I should be moving up there in December (And for the record, YES we've been together offline too.)
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']I had a chick throw up on me while she was going down on me, yes we had been drinking and yes I grabbed the back of her neck and shoved my cock into her throat until her lips were on my taint, but still. I mean, be a trooper and hold it back.[/QUOTE]

Someone I know had a similar story to tell. He said they ended up showering together afterwards, and a few months later, they broke up. I don't know if the latter is related to the throwing up though. It may have been because she forced him to take her to see the Pride and Prejudice movie.
 
Can't believe I forgot to tell the other ones. Twoferone deal.

1) This was at the beginning of my junior year. There was some new girl from Michigan or Wisconsin or some other piece of shit state. I thought she was kinda cute, so I talked to her whenever I got the chance. Eventually she invited me over to her apartment. Having no car, I had to ride my bike there, and being the winter/fall, it was raining. Not wanting to pussy out, I get the thickest clothes I can find (shorts with jeans over them, a t-shirt with a windbreaker, and a beanie) and ride my bike over there as fast as I can. Her mom's not home, and she shows me around and whatnot. We talk, and I can tell she's into me. I went to change in her bathroom, and when I came out she was like "Yeah, I think you're like... really cool. Yeah. You're awesome." "Uh, okay." We talk some more, and I realize that I'm really not into this girl, since she's somewhat of a total shithead. (Right, now I remember, she originally asked me to help her on her physics homework. Physics = too much for her = LOL.) She keeps talking and she's like "Sooo.... we don't have to do physics. You wanna do something else? What do you wanna do? Hmm... what is there to do?" I'm just thinking "I don't know you stupid fucking cunt, you tell me; this is your place." She then asks me "What are you thinking about.... right....... now?" "How much I fucking hate people." Then I grab my bike and leave.

2) This one I kinda regret fucking up on. So I had this "friend", Amy. And she was kinda a bitch, and still is, so I never talked to her. And then towards the end of the year I met this other girl named Amy, a year younger than me, who was pretty cute and seemed to take a shining to me. Thing is that I added the cute Amy as her last name in my phone list. So the bitch Amy is listed as "Amy" and the good Amy is listed as her last name, let's say "Doe".

I'm bored with my friend, the same one as in the first post, and we decide to call the cute Amy. I call her, text her, etc for like 2 hours until we decide to meet at her birthday party. I was all happy, thinking "oh snap, birthday party at a cute girl's house!" I get there, and see bitch-Amy. "WHO THE fuck ARE YOU!?" and both of us leave as fast as we can. Bitch-Amy and my friend have a bad history. I think to myself "Won't make that mistake again." and I delete Amy from my phone list, and replace good-Amy's last name with "Amy". Next day, my friend I are at a local shopping plaza where girls sometimes hang out. We meet a group of three, and talk for maybe an hour. I have the bright-ass idea of giving them my phone and telling them to call bitch-Amy and tell her she's a bitch for wasting my time. OH fuckING WHOOPS! SHE'S NOT IN MY PHONE LIST ANYMORE! I realize this about half way through the call, when she's already called good-Amy a bitch. Oh shit. I try to take the phone back, but this fucking ho is like "NONONO! Yeah, Jim says you're a MAJOR bitch." I get a call back from Amy telling me "Yeah, I'm too tired to deal with your bullshit. If you're just gonna get some ho to call me a bitch, delete your shit from your phone and NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!" *hangup*

Yay for failures.
 
[quote name='Full_Throttle']
2) This one I kinda regret fucking up on. So I had this "friend", Amy. And she was kinda a bitch, and still is, so I never talked to her. And then towards the end of the year I met this other girl named Amy, a year younger than me, who was pretty cute and seemed to take a shining to me. Thing is that I added the cute Amy as her last name in my phone list. So the bitch Amy is listed as "Amy" and the good Amy is listed as her last name, let's say "Doe".

I'm bored with my friend, the same one as in the first post, and we decide to call the cute Amy. I call her, text her, etc for like 2 hours until we decide to meet at her birthday party. I was all happy, thinking "oh snap, birthday party at a cute girl's house!" I get there, and see bitch-Amy. "WHO THE fuck ARE YOU!?" and both of us leave as fast as we can. Bitch-Amy and my friend have a bad history. I think to myself "Won't make that mistake again." and I delete Amy from my phone list, and replace good-Amy's last name with "Amy". Next day, my friend I are at a local shopping plaza where girls sometimes hang out. We meet a group of three, and talk for maybe an hour. I have the bright-ass idea of giving them my phone and telling them to call bitch-Amy and tell her she's a bitch for wasting my time. OH fuckING WHOOPS! SHE'S NOT IN MY PHONE LIST ANYMORE! I realize this about half way through the call, when she's already called good-Amy a bitch. Oh shit. I try to take the phone back, but this fucking ho is like "NONONO! Yeah, Jim says you're a MAJOR bitch." I get a call back from Amy telling me "Yeah, I'm too tired to deal with your bullshit. If you're just gonna get some ho to call me a bitch, delete your shit from your phone and NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!" *hangup*

Yay for failures.
[/quote]

:rofl: That is pretty funny.
 
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