CellFactor: Psychokinetic Wars (XBL/PSN Arcade)

TheSoundOfSeparation

CAGiversary!
I guess ill get my first review out there aye.
CellFactor-Psychokinetic-Wars.jpg



Ok well if ur like me then you probably dont tend to enjoy arcade games or even find them interesting enough to download, but the other day i got myself a point card and i had nothing to spend points on. So i pulled up the arcade and a game caught my attention, and fps called CellFactor: Psychokinetic Wars. So i decided to dl it. And ill keep a poker face :drool: (not a lady gay-gay refrence) for now and ill start up this review.


So ill start with the storyline but uhh there is none theres just challenges where you play bot matches to beat the campaign. But despite that it has an amazing online gamplay experience. So to lay it down there are three clases, the bishop who is basically a robot chick (with nipple armor) who is all magic like and can do diferrent magic attacks and fly. My personal fav is when she gathers all the crap on the map and throw it at you at once. Pretty cool. Then the second class is the black-op who is just a poor old human but is a nice mix in between the three classes. The black-op can teleport in any direction including thru walls and thru the floor. He can also use guns as well as a few handy magic attacks. And then the last class is the guardian. The guardian is a robot that looks just like the terminator, i mean alot. The robot cant do any magic attacks but it can duel wield any weapon or combiniation as well as jump really high via the super jump. It can also shoot really fast, and it also has a running attack where it runs at you really fast and kills you. Yeah i said it, a running attack. :whee:

So thats the low-down on the classes. Theres also a tad bit of character customization just your average, color, armor customization. Theres a reward system 2 but basically its just 2 perks you get to choose.

It may seem like the game could be unfair online cuz of the different classes but they actually balanced it out really well. Each character has its advantages and disadvantages. There is a definite learning curve but after a while you get it. The game feels a lot like a pc shooter and thats not a bad thing. It resembles shooters like Unreal Tournament and Quake a lot. Really the only downsides are the fact that there arent many people online to play it and the lack of a story. Other than that i think this game is amazing. Despite the few bad reviews on the internet i really like this game. And at a nice price point of 800 points/10 bucks, its very affordable. So i guess everyone is waiting for my final verdict. I give it a...

9/10 :whee:

Extra Info/Specs:
About 350mb download
Standard Resolution
Graphics are average but not amazing, they do meet up to the next-gen standard tho.
There are 4 different multiplayer modes, Deathmatch (Free For All), Team Deathmatch, Assault (Objective Game, Attack n Deffend bomb thing game thing bomb game type thing rambling lol), and Capture The Flag
The campaign contains 30 challenges 10 for each character
Weapons include your standard pistols, sniper rifles, shotguns, assault rifles, small bombs, and rocket launchers, as well as the magic chicks magic attacks (of which i dont know the names of)
Online is awesome but not much peeps to play with
No Lag, No cheating either

Yarp.
 
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Lord beer me strength.

I'm not going to say I don't appreciate you reviewing a game but when you do something like this, could you try to be mildly professional? I can look past grammar if you review well but it felt like you were just rambling, what with the lady "Gay-gay" comment, "nipple armor". You also glaze over a lot of details, no mention of graphics, choice of weapons, levels, game modes etc. This paired with some pretty awful grammar just made me hurt all over.

I guess I'm mostly angry because this game has seemed really interesting to me and I'm on the fence about it. I got kind of excited seeing that someone had written a review. However after reading this review I'm kind of leaving empty handed.

Again, sorry.
 
Ok im (forgot the apostrophe in i'm on purpose) sorry dude but first off no one really cares about grammar on the internet so i usually dont (i hatez apostrophezs) use proper grammer (hehe i spelled grammar wrong on purpose). But i figured i wouldnt add the game types and stuff because you can find that stuff just by a google search. But i went ahead and added some more info so go ahead and look above.

PS. You'd understand the nipple armor comment if you saw a picture of the bishop chick, and the lady gay-gay think if you knew about lady ga-ga and her song poker face(which sucks).
 
OK, let me put it this way. If I was talking to you over AIM or IRC and this was your review, I wouldn't mind. However, you had the time to sit down, think about it and type up a well written review. The fact that you chose not to baffles me in that I wonder why you would write a review at all if you didn't care enough to put effort in to it.

That "intarnet needz no grammer" business is bull shit and it's precisely what gives the internet a bad rep. I don't know why it is you don't appreciate apostrophes and capitalized I's but it makes all the difference to a lot of people.

Anyhow, a review is supposed to treat somebody as if they have no previous knowledge (Or at least a limited amount) about a game and start you off with background information, cover every little detail and help the reader completely understand what s/he is thinking about buying which is why people like reviews, they pretty much sum up a game in digestible amount of words. It also helps if I can actually read it (read: grammar)

Oh and I understood the nipple armor (Watched the little machinima adverts) and Lady Ga-Ga comments, I was simply pointing out they were kind of sideways and off topic.
 
Basically, I say try everything the trial has to offer, and you'll get a good idea on how the game plays.

All I want to know is how good/bad the online is. The main two things is the number of people and if there's any lags, glitches, cheating, etc.

It seems like a solid game for only 10 bucks, regardless, but I guess it depends if you're craving a mindless FPS or not, and if you have funds to spare.

Your review wasn't bad for your first, but even though it doesn't pertain to you, if you're going to entertain people, and want to be taken seriously, you might want to do a little better your next try. Mainly grammar and more detail. ;)
 
ok sparta thanx for being nice about it, screw you h2o for being a douche about it i tried my best and you act like i didnt even care. Oh and sparta online is pretty good, have experienced lag yet but there arent much peeps to play with. No cheating or anything like that either
 
[quote name='TheSoundOfSeparation']ok sparta thanx for being nice about it, screw you h2o for being a douche about it i tried my best and you act like i didnt even care. Oh and sparta online is pretty good, have experienced lag yet but there arent much peeps to play with. No cheating or anything like that either[/QUOTE]

Grow the fuck up. You put your stuff out there like this and don't expect critics? This is how people are and if you don't like it don't extend yourself. If you didn't want comments you should have put your review on IGN so all you'd have to see is thumbs down you can ignore, not real opinions that have merit. If this is your best than do better than your best. And if writing reviews isn't your strong point than don't do it. You don't see me taping and posting videos of my fat ass running and saying I did my best after people make fun of me. It's the same principle.
 
h2o i certainly know that, im trying to give you tips as you are giving me tips, theres nothing wrong with critics. Im glad you criticized me because i know what to do next time but what im saying is that i take critics more seriously when there not all angry about it and rambling on about how horrible it is. Just make your point, tell me what i need to change and there ya go. Dont be all angry. Now i am sorry for my screw you douche comment i was pretty angry too, infact i was being a douche for putting that comment. Lets just put the anger aside and start over. Im sorry. Now if you could help me out give me an example of what would be a good format, like post a link to a good review. That would help. Thanx
 
Alright, no worries man. Thanks for manning up so I too will say I'm sorry. Power hug?

Anyhow, after scouting around these CAG reviews I found this one for Terminator Salvation. It's hardly long winded (No offense to the reviewr of course) but it gets the job done just fine. He covers all the major bases and after reading that I did get a sense of knowing more about the game. He also didn't have perfect grammar (No offense again, neither do I) but he had periods followed by spaces and caps, used caps when needed etc.

Just so you can see why I have such a major stick up my ass, here's a review I wrote (Not a shameless self plug, just an example) and because this is something I enjoy doing it's something I take pride in.
 
I tried out the demo on PSN. I have to say, the graphics are pretty underwhelming, and the gameplay is pretty barebones (though I may be wrong about this, I can only really guess what is in the full game). Truthfully, this seems like a pretty basic clone of Unreal Tournament, without as many game modes. The different classes might be interesting since they do actually have some different abilities, but it's going to be hard to know how it plays since there are not that many people playing right now.

Since UT3 can be had for around $10 and is so much larger and more polished graphically, it's hard to recommend this game unless you really want a new deathmatch game.
 
bread's done
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