Cheating: The Thread.

fatherofcaitlyn

fatherofcaitlyn

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Inspired by the "Cheating" blog ...

My wife and I were running the 2 minute drill.

My wife asked "Why do you smell like perfume?"

Taking a whiff, I reply, "Hmm. It smells like that woman who registered me for my certification test this afternoon."

Needless to say, I didn't score on that possession.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']i have a feeling this thread wont be nearly as entertaining as the tv show cheaters[/QUOTE]
It's all fun and games until someone gets stabbed.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']i have a feeling this thread wont be nearly as entertaining as the tv show cheaters[/QUOTE]

Most of my threads have 1 star. Cheaters is a solid 1 and a half stars.
 
as soon as she asked you should have countered with " why dont i smell any food cooking? Oh i get it youve got all the time in the world to play 20 questions but not enough time to have a hot meal ready for me when i get home?"

she will be so startled and aroused by your manliness she will immediately strip naked and run to the kitchen and make you all of your favorite meals. works every time.
warning only try this in countries where women have no rights you will lose your penis in your sleep.
 
[quote name='lokizz']as soon as she asked you should have countered with " why dont i smell any food cooking? Oh i get it youve got all the time in the world to play 20 questions but not enough time to have a hot meal ready for me when i get home?"

she will be so startled and aroused by your manliness she will immediately strip naked and run to the kitchen and make you all of your favorite meals. works every time.
warning only try this in countries where women have no rights you will lose your penis in your sleep.
[/QUOTE]

Why would she put on clothes just to take them off again?
 
I feel that the correct answer is "I was at the store trying to pick one out for you as a surprise. The lady behind the counter showed me quite a few, but I don't think any of them complement you in the right way, so I didn't get you one. I feel bad because now that I've told you this story, I didn't actually get you anything."
 
[quote name='Anexanhume']I feel that the correct answer is "I was at the store trying to pick one out for you as a surprise. The lady behind the counter showed me quite a few, but I don't think any of them complement you in the right way, so I slept with her. I feel bad because now that I've told you this story, I didn't actually get you anything."[/QUOTE]

ftfy
 
[quote name='tiredfornow']The worst part about cheating is those long talks you get after. :([/QUOTE]

Are those worse than the crabs?
 
[quote name='Brownjohn']Are those worse than the crabs?[/QUOTE]

Yes they are. You can put a stop to the crabs much faster.
 
I would never sleep with another woman. I would just fuck them and leave. Of course, I would have written permission to perform certain actions from my wife.
 
I recently had sex with a girl who was married. Worst Decision Ever. It was made very clear that this was a one time deal but it appears she wants more. She calls me all the time, sends me facebook messages on a daily basis, and just won't leave me alone.

I completely ignore all communication with her and she just won't stop.
 
[quote name='Droogs']I recently had sex with a girl who was married. Worst Decision Ever. It was made very clear that this was a one time deal but it appears she wants more. She calls me all the time, sends me facebook messages on a daily basis, and just won't leave me alone.

I completely ignore all communication with her and she just won't stop.[/QUOTE]

You're both horrible people.
 
[quote name='SpazX']Droogs and the married woman. AFAIK anyway, you could be horrible as well.[/QUOTE]

Depending on the universe I reside in, I've done terrible things. The cool thing is that I haven't cheated on my wife in any of those universes.
 
No you're doing it wrong, you're supposed to just always talk like your cheating whether you are or not. Girlfriends like to make accusations, so when mine does i just go along with it.

gf: where have you been?
me: banging my other girlfriend?
-------
gf: who's this girl on facebook?
me: the other girl i have sex with when your not around..
----
etc...

she eventually shuts up or talks about something else. Give it a try! ymmv
 
[quote name='Droogs']I recently had sex with a girl who was married. Worst Decision Ever. It was made very clear that this was a one time deal but it appears she wants more. She calls me all the time, sends me facebook messages on a daily basis, and just won't leave me alone.

I completely ignore all communication with her and she just won't stop.[/QUOTE]

Hope you're looking over your shoulder for the pissed off husband that will eventually be hunting you down.
 
[quote name='keithp']Hope you're looking over your shoulder for the pissed off husband that will eventually be hunting you down.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, you better be careful. Change your number and delete your facebook.
 
[quote name='keithp']Hope you're looking over your shoulder for the pissed off husband that will eventually be hunting you down.[/QUOTE]

yeah no shit. and if this chick is petty and vengeful how long do you think it will be before she "mentions" to her husband how shes been fucking around on him and possibly who shes been fucking around with. the fact that as he mentioned she keeps trying to contact him shows shes not that stable.
 
[quote name='Cracka']No you're doing it wrong, you're supposed to just always talk like your cheating whether you are or not. Girlfriends like to make accusations, so when mine does i just go along with it.

gf: where have you been?
me: banging my other girlfriend?
-------
gf: who's this girl on facebook?
me: the other girl i have sex with when your not around..
----
etc...

she eventually shuts up or talks about something else. Give it a try! ymmv[/QUOTE]

Works for me. Except I actually cheated on my ex-GF, and I believe there's some sort of conspiracy surrounding it since my ex-GF, current GF & the girl I cheated on my ex-GF with were all friends at one point, and they all talk to this other chick that they're BFFs with.

Done it with one GF because she was a bitch (amongst other things), but i would never cheat on my current GF, nor would I ever suggest cheating. It's just not worth it.
 
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