I've been writing reviews for my school paper for a long time. Unfortunately no videogame reviews, but here is my most recent review. Hope you guys find it informative.
Comic book movies are becoming a regular occurrence. Some have been excellent films (Ghost World, Road to Perdition), some have been entertaining blockbusters (Spiderman, X-Men), and others have ranged from mediocre (HellBoy) to just bad (The Punisher). However, there is one final category, and it is the most disappointing of all. These are films that started their lives as stories full of imagination and intrigue, only to be taken by Hollywood and stripped of all but their most basic elements and then reconstituted into a mess of elements without cohesion or any of the original charm (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Unfortunately for everyone, Constantine falls into this category.
Constantine, vaguely adapted from the Hellblazer, follows the adventures of John Constantine, an occult detective of sorts. Constantine was born with the ability to see demons; however, throughout the movie we are never sure if what we are shown is what only he sees or what everyone sees. Constantine uses his ability to return the legions of hell to their proper place there in hopes of claiming a spot in Heaven. Constantine lives with the knowledge that this is his only path to Heaven. This plot could have made a decent movie in the proper hands. Unfortunately, this movie heavy-handedly stumbles around this premise for two hours. Major plot points are never explained, and characters are killed off after saying barely ten lines. Thus the audience cannot be expected to care about their untimely deaths. Whole sections of the movie should never have been allowed to exist by the writer, the producers, the director, the actors, the editors, and any other number of untold people involved with the movie.
As far as the actors’ performances go, Keanu Reeves puts in just about the best performance he has ever managed. However, this only means that the audience is not forced to suffer through another “Whoa!” Mr. Reeves is still incapable of showing what would normally be considered human emotions. He even has trouble creating a believable cough. Rachel Weisz is in particularly poor form. At times she delivers her lines in a way that would be consistent with her character only if other things were happening around her. The chemistry between the two leads is sorely lacking, and at points where the chemistry is most crucial it dips into the negative range and actually detracts from other scenes.
The special effects are also surprisingly weak in the most crucial area in a movie about a man fighting demons, i.e. the demons. They look like action figures being moved around by a kid, and even if they did not look and move like lumps of plastic, they would still be lackluster. They either look like decomposing bodies or rejects from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
This is not to say that the movie is entirely devoid of any interest. Some of the effects and art design are visually compelling. The vision of Hell is particularly well done. There are also some humorous moments, most coming from Keanu Reeves.
If you are either a devout Christian or follower of the Hellblazer series, stay away from this movie because you will be disgusted. Even if you are a fan of both Keanu Reeves and quasi-biblical bastardizations of the battle between good and evil, I still urge you to stay away from this movie until you can rent it with a group of similarly minded people so that you only waste $5 total and not $5 apiece.
I give Constantine a 6/10
Comic book movies are becoming a regular occurrence. Some have been excellent films (Ghost World, Road to Perdition), some have been entertaining blockbusters (Spiderman, X-Men), and others have ranged from mediocre (HellBoy) to just bad (The Punisher). However, there is one final category, and it is the most disappointing of all. These are films that started their lives as stories full of imagination and intrigue, only to be taken by Hollywood and stripped of all but their most basic elements and then reconstituted into a mess of elements without cohesion or any of the original charm (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). Unfortunately for everyone, Constantine falls into this category.
Constantine, vaguely adapted from the Hellblazer, follows the adventures of John Constantine, an occult detective of sorts. Constantine was born with the ability to see demons; however, throughout the movie we are never sure if what we are shown is what only he sees or what everyone sees. Constantine uses his ability to return the legions of hell to their proper place there in hopes of claiming a spot in Heaven. Constantine lives with the knowledge that this is his only path to Heaven. This plot could have made a decent movie in the proper hands. Unfortunately, this movie heavy-handedly stumbles around this premise for two hours. Major plot points are never explained, and characters are killed off after saying barely ten lines. Thus the audience cannot be expected to care about their untimely deaths. Whole sections of the movie should never have been allowed to exist by the writer, the producers, the director, the actors, the editors, and any other number of untold people involved with the movie.
As far as the actors’ performances go, Keanu Reeves puts in just about the best performance he has ever managed. However, this only means that the audience is not forced to suffer through another “Whoa!” Mr. Reeves is still incapable of showing what would normally be considered human emotions. He even has trouble creating a believable cough. Rachel Weisz is in particularly poor form. At times she delivers her lines in a way that would be consistent with her character only if other things were happening around her. The chemistry between the two leads is sorely lacking, and at points where the chemistry is most crucial it dips into the negative range and actually detracts from other scenes.
The special effects are also surprisingly weak in the most crucial area in a movie about a man fighting demons, i.e. the demons. They look like action figures being moved around by a kid, and even if they did not look and move like lumps of plastic, they would still be lackluster. They either look like decomposing bodies or rejects from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
This is not to say that the movie is entirely devoid of any interest. Some of the effects and art design are visually compelling. The vision of Hell is particularly well done. There are also some humorous moments, most coming from Keanu Reeves.
If you are either a devout Christian or follower of the Hellblazer series, stay away from this movie because you will be disgusted. Even if you are a fan of both Keanu Reeves and quasi-biblical bastardizations of the battle between good and evil, I still urge you to stay away from this movie until you can rent it with a group of similarly minded people so that you only waste $5 total and not $5 apiece.
I give Constantine a 6/10
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