Detoxification of the body

FrankySox

FrankySox

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Hello all CAG's. Many of you may know me as the smart ass poster, or the idiot who doesn't know how to follow the dotted line in Forza. But I'm here with some questions for the OT board. I have a drug test anytime I want next week and need to pass it. I was wondering if anyone has had any experience with drug tests and how to pass them quickly. I don't do anything illegal, I'm 21 I drink beer, and have been experimenting this summer. I just graduated college and took off the summer to spend time with friends and family, and also travel. Other than that I've never taken any other drug. I recently got done taking the stopped smoking about two weeks ago. I've heard it takes anywhere from 14-30 days to vacate the drug from your system. I've been drinking 260 oz. of water per day plus aerobic exercise. I really need this job otherwise I wont be able to buy toilet paper. I've also been taking niacin(which I've heard works, I've also heard it does nothing). I'm a 5'9" 168 lbs. guy with little body fat. So I was wondering if anyone had any advise they could give me to make me feel more confident about my test next week. Thanks!

EDIT: I like Sopranos
 
I was going to say the same thing as SneakyPenguin. If it's not really medical ganja, I have no idea how to avoid failing your pee test.
 
If you were prescribed the pot, you should be fine. Pot can take a week to get out of your system depending on your weight, metabolism and how active you are..

I have a buddy in the air force that has an absolute love for marijuana.. every time he comes down he usually has about a week or so so he smokes the first night he is here so when he gets back if they decide to test him (which they have every single time).. he comes out clean. of course he was jogging 2 miles every morning, drinks nothing but water or juice, and doesnt really eat junky foods.
 
well if he was prescribed it in one state and wants a job in a different state or with the federal government then the medical excuse prob wouldnt fly
 
Oh man, sorry guys. I'll just come clean now, it wasn't medicinal...I didn't want to get in trouble

EDIT: Yes I know drugs are bad. I got my degree last semester and went on kind of a fun living spree this summer. I've come back down to reality and have stopped now, and want to ensure I get this job. I know the best way to get a clean test is to not smoke (which I'm doing now) but I'd like some advice on ways to help clear myself here if anyone has any. Thanks.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']Oh man, sorry guys. I'll just come clean now, it wasn't medicinal...I didn't want to get in trouble[/quote]

Figured as much.

Well, to be blunt, you're probably fucked. You can try lots of water and lots of exercise, but fuck, it would just be your own fault.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']Oh man, sorry guys. I'll just come clean now, it wasn't medicinal...I didn't want to get in trouble

EDIT: Yes I know drugs are bad. I got my degree last semester and went on kind of a fun living spree this summer. I've come back down to reality and have stopped now, and want to ensure I get this job. I know the best way to get a clean test is to not smoke (which I'm doing now) but I'd like some advice on ways to help clear myself here if anyone has any. Thanks.[/QUOTE]

Oy. Well, I wouldn't fire you based on the ease with which you lie, but nevertheless...when was the last time you smoked weed? Also, how many times per week, on average, would you say you did smoke?
 
Jog, drink lots of water, and if you want a guarantee on passing you might want to hit up Vitamin world for some of their detox stuff. I've had drug tests days after eating special baked goods, taken detox stuff from vitamin world and passed. I say vitamin world because they have a good selection; just get the clerk to help you. They tend to be pretty honest with you.

Edit: Also, drink lots of water in the two hour span before your drug test so that your urine is seriously diluted. As long as it still looks like piss, it isn't too diluted to cause prolems.

Edit 2: The main ingredient in most masking substances you buy is creatine. If you're a cheap bastard (and we are on cheap ass gamer), then you can just take creatine you'd buy from walmart for $10 instead of spending $20-40 at a retailer. It's less of a guarantee, though.

Edit 3: Scott Baio
 
drink cranberry juice (100%, not Ocean Spray) and if you're man enough, drink apple cider vinegar several times daily. if it has been 2 weeks, and you have a week to go, and you've been exercising and drinking water, and you drink what I just typed, then you might have a shot at passing.

I don't think there are any reliable quick fixes. at least, stoners haven't gotten their act together on this because any time anyone asks this question anywhere, they get a ton of different answers :lol:
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Oy. Well, I wouldn't fire you based on the ease with which you lie, but nevertheless...when was the last time you smoked weed? Also, how many times per week, on average, would you say you did smoke?[/QUOTE]

Last time I smoked weed would be on July the 7th. I'm also 5' 9'' and weigh 160 with little body fat...I'm not the Frodo looking fuck who post earlier on the OT board. I probably smoked 6 times per week ( two hits off a joint) for a three week period. I think I'm screwed...fuck
 
Is there any kits you can buy at stores to test yourself? I'd be interested in finding something that wasn't too expensive, I may also try some creatine.
 
Just tell them you were at an Alicia Keys concert, when a girl passed you what you thought was a clove cigarette.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Oy. Well, I wouldn't fire you based on the ease with which you lie, but nevertheless...when was the last time you smoked weed? Also, how many times per week, on average, would you say you did smoke?[/QUOTE]
Sorry, I did not intend to lie to you. I figured most people would realize I was being sarcastic but then I had a realization myself. This is a message board and people can't detect my tone of voice. I'm in real need here and I'm sorry for misleading anyone (I've edited my OP). If anyone has advice it'd be greatly appreciated.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']Is there any kits you can buy at stores to test yourself? I'd be interested in finding something that wasn't too expensive, I may also try some creatine.[/quote]


I have seen them at wallys but NO CLUE if they work or not and no idea what the price was
 
Go to your local head shop and buy a bottle of Quick Fix 2.0. It's synthetic urine that you can sneak in and use for your test. Comes in a small bottle that's easy to hide and also with it's own warmer. There is a thermometer on the outside of the bottle as well so you know it's the right temp.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']Is there any kits you can buy at stores to test yourself? I'd be interested in finding something that wasn't too expensive, I may also try some creatine.[/QUOTE]

I think most drug stores sell those for parents who want to test their kids.
 
dont eat poppy seeds, shows up as coke or some shit
just drink a lot of water and piss alot
i passed a mandatory drug test for court in about 9 days
i drank about 3 liters of water a day

or detox
 
[quote name='greyzieoriental']dont eat poppy seeds, shows up as coke or some shit
just drink a lot of water and piss alot
i passed a mandatory drug test for court in about 9 days
i drank about 3 liters of water a day

or detox[/QUOTE]

I think it all depends on how stringent your prospective employer is about the drug test. I think I could've spit in a cup and submitted it when I got hired at Best Buy, but with another job that required security clearance it was made apparent to me that they meant business. Certain companies contract out to the best of the best to test, and some contract out to the bottom of the heap.
 
You're probably going to be fine OP, but if you fail the test, you're only getting what you deserve. Doing illegal drugs 6 times a week (see: daily) is just stupid; hell, doing it at all is stupid. There's a reason they are illegal.......

If I was your prospective employer, I'd want to know that you just stopped smoking weed daily two weeks ago. Just because you just stopped doesn't mean you won't ever do it again, and someone who did it that often is probably more likely to relapse back into it. Furthermore, I'd even argue the point that someone who did something that irresponsible doesn't deserve this job. I'm being an ass here, but reap what you sow, my friend.
 
I read in a book that you can use Diet Mountain Dew (or is it regular? I can't remember) as piss in a test. Apparently, it has the same Ph balance as real piss and will show up as clean urine in a test.
 
[quote name='norkusa']I read in a book that you can use Diet Mountain Dew (or is it regular? I can't remember) as piss in a test. Apparently, it has the same Ph balance as real piss and will show up as clean urine in a test.[/quote]
I hope that's not true since mountain dew would contain about 0 of the components of piss (yeah I know, salt and water are in there). I hope their tests are better than that.

Somebody most likely just said that since dew looks like piss. It would be hilarious for somebody to crack open a can of dew in the bathroom and come out with a piss cup full of an obviously carbonated liquid. Talk about failure.
 
[quote name='the ender']You're probably going to be fine OP, but if you fail the test, you're only getting what you deserve. Doing illegal drugs 6 times a week (see: daily) is just stupid; hell, doing it at all is stupid. There's a reason they are illegal.......

If I was your prospective employer, I'd want to know that you just stopped smoking weed daily two weeks ago. Just because you just stopped doesn't mean you won't ever do it again, and someone who did it that often is probably more likely to relapse back into it. Furthermore, I'd even argue the point that someone who did something that irresponsible doesn't deserve this job. I'm being an ass here, but reap what you sow, my friend.[/QUOTE]


:rofl:


joke post of the year! :rofl:
 
Isn't there some stuff called "Urine Luck!" that's supposed to make you pee clean or was that just for older tests? I seem to remember seeing it at some old record shop when I lived in San Diego.

As far as drugs being bad, yeah, fine, that's not really what we're here discussing. I mean, the OP has apparently come to the same conclusion and is trying to move on, bashing his foolish past isn't going to change anything now.
 
[quote name='Stoneage']One time, a guy came into my work and asked, "Can I have an application? Do you drug test?" Uh, yeah. Great intro fella.[/quote]
LOL...that's brilliant.

On our applications it asks, "What thing in your life are you most proud of?"
One kid handed in an application that said, "My hydroponics setup". Dumb.
 
i just love how people who do drugs try to get into jobs that have strict rules and drug tests everyone then come begging everyone how the fuck to get it out of there body before the test. It's probably too late now, but next time you do drugs and someone wants to interview you, say that your going out of town for about 3 weeks or so and won't be back til such and such date. That SHOULD get the stuff out by then.'
 
[quote name='red flare graf']You could always take a turkey baster and squeeze someone else's pee up your ding dong.

Harsh times we live in..[/QUOTE]

Yeah, great movie, but they still find traces of drugs when his pee mixed with in the foreign pee.
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']i just love how people who do drugs try to get into jobs that have strict rules and drug tests everyone then come begging everyone how the fuck to get it out of there body before the test. It's probably too late now, but next time you do drugs and someone wants to interview you, say that your going out of town for about 3 weeks or so and won't be back til such and such date. That SHOULD get the stuff out by then.'[/QUOTE]



yeah, it always seems to be too late as well-- a week's notice is nothing.
 
[quote name='bmachine']On our applications it asks, "What thing in your life are you most proud of?"
One kid handed in an application that said, "My hydroponics setup". Dumb.[/quote]

:rofl:LOL THAT IS HILARIOUS!
 
I hope they do a blood or hair test. Then you're just shit outta luck no matter what you do.


Who are you working for because you might want to research this incase it's not just a urine test. I suggest a few infusions of blood and coating your entire body in nair in addition to everything else everyone has said.
 
[quote name='the ender']You're probably going to be fine OP, but if you fail the test, you're only getting what you deserve. Doing illegal drugs 6 times a week (see: daily) is just stupid; hell, doing it at all is stupid. There's a reason they are illegal.......[/quote]

There are alot of reasons why hardcore drugs are illegal (I don't agree but in this areana I admit there's room for debate)

However I see no reason as to why marijuana is illegal.
 
I love pot and it's happy go lucky effect. What I love even more is the ignorant stoner that smokes on a daily basis then tries to get a job where they drug test, then assumes it'll be a piss test and not a hair or blood test.

Le ha.
 
[quote name='the ender']You're probably going to be fine OP, but if you fail the test, you're only getting what you deserve. Doing illegal drugs 6 times a week (see: daily) is just stupid; hell, doing it at all is stupid. There's a reason they are illegal.......
[/quote]

lol, obviously you have no idea what youre talking about.


OP, i recently quit smoking pot after actively smoking it for the last 10 years or so and im looking for a new job right now. but im not worried about a test because you can go to a headshop and buy pills, they are like 40 dollars, but they will clean your system out and you will have a clean test. it worked for my GF, and she smoked plenty before the test. if its a hair test they have shampoos you can buy, but i cant vouch for those. anyway, just go to your local head shop, youll be able to find some of those pills, and a lot of them even offer like 5x your money back if you fail the test. so hey, if you fail the test you can still buy toilet paper.
 
[quote name='bmachine']LOL...that's brilliant.

On our applications it asks, "What thing in your life are you most proud of?"
One kid handed in an application that said, "My hydroponics setup". Dumb.[/QUOTE]

Stupid-ass stoners. I mean, people say that pot is harmless but that's sort of an oversimplification. In reasonable doses, sure. But the above-mentioned retard apparently smoked so much that he thought his hydroponics setup was his greatest accomplishment. I think that guy can be safely weeded (har-har) out and ground up into fertilizer. He'll accomplish more that way.
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']lol, obviously you have no idea what youre talking about.


[/quote]

That's a pretty random statement, complete with no backing or reason of any kind. Congrats.

And for the record, I know exactly what I'm talking about. Doing anything illegal on a daily basis is always dumb.
 
Joining this converation late.

Hey man, just go to GNC and tell them you need to clean out your system, they'll sell you a bottle of some stuff for like 20 bux.

I knew a guy who was on probation and they were drug testing him. He passed.

And I got hired when I used it.

edit: this was like 4 years ago, haven't smoked since then.
 
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