What lens you get also might depend on how serious your photography is. If you know you will be at it for a while, investing some money in a better lens up front is a good choice, as the value of good lenses really holds up over time (and can be used over multiple bodies)- and the better performance will be well worth the extra cost. The camera body (especially true with DSLR) will depreciate as new technology comes out, but the lenses will hold good value (and more importantly good usage!) for much, much longer. There are people out there using 50 years' worth of Nikon glass, all of it performing (nearly) just as good as the recent modern stuff.
As a starting point, the 18-55 VRII kit lens is a great multipurpose lens. It's pretty affordable so the loss is not that great if you decide to move on from photography, but would still play a role as a very light flexible lens if you do stick with it. If you're willing to spend a little more, the 16-85 VR is more money but better optically than the cheaper DX zooms with similar focal ranges. Probably the best consumer DX zoom. The 18-200 (which I have) is a great versatile lens and performs very well in all categories but does not excel in any of them. It does not seem like you're in the market for the pro quality zooms but I could be wrong. In that case, a used 17-55 f/2.8 would be a great buy as many prographers are selling theirs used as they move up to FX bodies and glass. In general, for the consumer lenses, you can get an rough indication of the quality by looking at the lens mount. If Nikon used the metal lens mount, then it in general was intended to be a little better quality than the lowest priced ones with plastic lens mounts.
Personally I'd be wary about buying from eBay but I have not researched it much. You just want to make sure that whatever lens you get is a genuine Nikon USA lens, no grey market imports. Nikon will not warranty grey market imports, and typically doesn't even repair them for money. Genuine USA lenses have a 5-year warranty. IMO the usually small cost difference between a grey market import and a USA lens is worth it for the support and warranty it comes with. If a grey market lens gets damaged, you may be up the creek as far as repair goes.
I'd be doubly careful when buying used lenses off of eBay, make extra sure you know why the seller is getting rid of the lens, and not just trying to pawn off a lens he dropped for as much as he can get for it. I bought a used lens once and the seller guaranteed that if I was not satisfied with it after using it for a few days I could return it for a refund. That will let you know that they are a legit seller and that they are being honest about the condition/performance of the lens.
Lastly, some variation in individual lenses can exist. While this won't be as much of a problem for cheaper ones as the pro lenses, it can be worth your while to buy from a retailer or seller who will take it back if you are not satisfied. B&H photo, and Adorama, etc all have very good return policies from what I've heard, although I have not purchased lenses from them before.
Ruahrc