Electoral Kombat!
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Ikohn4ever
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McCain would run over Barack with the Straight-Talk Express
[quote name='Ikohn4ever']McCain would run over Barack with the Straight-Talk Express[/quote]
Countered! Barack derails the straight-talk express with his debilitating glare! It's how he destroyed Hillary.
Proof: [MEDIA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9coNTKQi544[/MEDIA]
Finish him! Barack refuses to take taxpayer dollars to finance his campaign, saving Americans money and securing the presidency!
I think I'm getting too into this.
Countered! Barack derails the straight-talk express with his debilitating glare! It's how he destroyed Hillary.
Proof: [MEDIA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9coNTKQi544[/MEDIA]
Finish him! Barack refuses to take taxpayer dollars to finance his campaign, saving Americans money and securing the presidency!
I think I'm getting too into this.
You betcher ass it would. Look at this, he makes conservatives everywhere shit their testicles out:
DO YOU SEE THIS, MCCAIN? THESE ARE MY CRUSHING FINGERS.
I USED THESE TO DESTROY HILLARY TONIGHT.
DO YOU SEE THESE
ING FINGERS, MR. STRAIGHT-TALK EXPRESS? MOTHERER YOU'VE BEEN DERAILED. BITCHES THINKIN' YOU ALL STRAIGHT-UP WHEN YOU SUPPORT BUSH'S TAX CUTS YOU. BITCH.
YOU'RE NEXT, MOTHERER. THROW-DOWN. I'LL TAKE YOU. I'LL TAKE YOU NOW. ANY DAY, ANY TIME. MOTHERER. I'M READY. PLAY SOME HOOP WITH YOUR IN' HEAD. I'M COMING FOR YOU.
(text and pic copywright my homeboy Verix.)
DO YOU SEE THIS, MCCAIN? THESE ARE MY CRUSHING FINGERS.
I USED THESE TO DESTROY HILLARY TONIGHT.
DO YOU SEE THESE
ING FINGERS, MR. STRAIGHT-TALK EXPRESS? MOTHERER YOU'VE BEEN DERAILED. BITCHES THINKIN' YOU ALL STRAIGHT-UP WHEN YOU SUPPORT BUSH'S TAX CUTS YOU. BITCH.YOU'RE NEXT, MOTHER
ER. THROW-DOWN. I'LL TAKE YOU. I'LL TAKE YOU NOW. ANY DAY, ANY TIME. MOTHERER. I'M READY. PLAY SOME HOOP WITH YOUR IN' HEAD. I'M COMING FOR YOU.(text and pic copywright my homeboy Verix.)
fatherofcaitlyn
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McCain is 3/4 zombie. He won't die without severe brain trauma.
Even then, brain damage may not be enough.
I mean, you've read his ideas for the country, right?
Even then, brain damage may not be enough.
I mean, you've read his ideas for the country, right?
The Crotch
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Twice nightly. If you want the password, you have to PM Myke.
JolietJake
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McCain would have a 'nam flashback and go completely postal on Obama.
thrustbucket
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My guess is the fight would go down something like this:
Obama starts chanting, demonically "Hope, change, hope, change, hope change...." as he slowly approaches McCain pounding his fist into his palm.
McCain, losing his temper after just a few seconds of the monotone chant, begins to snarl. "What an annoying battlecry", he thinks to himself. Just then, his wife blurts out from the spectators "Don't worry honey, it's all smoke and mirrors, there is no substance in that attack".
Obama, realizing McCain's old lady just ruined plan A, quickly thrusts his palms forward, Ryu style. But instead of shouting "Hadukin!" he shouts "Yes we can"!
McCain, being great with age, and not spry enough, is unable to dodge the incoming blue fireball. The fireball, amazingly, hits him with all the force of a of a puff of smoke. He exchanges the snarl for a few moments for a look of confusion. Again, his wife shouts from the sidelines. "Don't worry honey, he puts on a fantastic show, but there is nothing underneath the hood!"
Obama, furious that his plan has been spoiled, and determined more than ever to win, does the unthinkable. Muttering a spell, he summons a demon pet; the demon known as "wright", the only real force with a strong position Obama has ever encountered. The demon "wright" begins to charge at McCain, but then stops dead in his tracks, spins around looking Obama in the eye and says "Screw you man, you betrayed me". The demon "wright" then disappears.
McCain, now way too angry to think clearly or come up with a strategy, stops within feet of Obama and shouts "I know your weakness, B.O!! You will sell out our economy to environmental alarmism, do nothing to stop dependence on foreign oil, and leave the cobwebs on our immigration enforcement!"
Obama, without missing a beat, replies "So will you, old man".
McCain, now more furious than ever, screams "You bastard! If you are elected you will at best maintain our taxes, at worst increase them while trying to nationalize all you can. Plus, you really have no firm stance or plan for anything and only wait for polls to determine your positions. And lastly, you are a not-so-closet Marxist!"
Obama, appearing bored now, again replies "Are you insane? You describe yourself as well!"
McCain, tired from being so angry now, is finally able to think clearly. He realizes Obama is right and says "Well why are we fighting then?"
Obama answers "Because the American people expect it and need it."
McCain smiles "Oh. Right. Well then, come let me buy you a prune juice, and hope nobody saw this silly encounter." As they walk off, McCain asks "Why would anyone vote for either of us anyway?". Obama replies "What choice do they have?". McCain chuckles "Good point".
Obama starts chanting, demonically "Hope, change, hope, change, hope change...." as he slowly approaches McCain pounding his fist into his palm.
McCain, losing his temper after just a few seconds of the monotone chant, begins to snarl. "What an annoying battlecry", he thinks to himself. Just then, his wife blurts out from the spectators "Don't worry honey, it's all smoke and mirrors, there is no substance in that attack".
Obama, realizing McCain's old lady just ruined plan A, quickly thrusts his palms forward, Ryu style. But instead of shouting "Hadukin!" he shouts "Yes we can"!
McCain, being great with age, and not spry enough, is unable to dodge the incoming blue fireball. The fireball, amazingly, hits him with all the force of a of a puff of smoke. He exchanges the snarl for a few moments for a look of confusion. Again, his wife shouts from the sidelines. "Don't worry honey, he puts on a fantastic show, but there is nothing underneath the hood!"
Obama, furious that his plan has been spoiled, and determined more than ever to win, does the unthinkable. Muttering a spell, he summons a demon pet; the demon known as "wright", the only real force with a strong position Obama has ever encountered. The demon "wright" begins to charge at McCain, but then stops dead in his tracks, spins around looking Obama in the eye and says "Screw you man, you betrayed me". The demon "wright" then disappears.
McCain, now way too angry to think clearly or come up with a strategy, stops within feet of Obama and shouts "I know your weakness, B.O!! You will sell out our economy to environmental alarmism, do nothing to stop dependence on foreign oil, and leave the cobwebs on our immigration enforcement!"
Obama, without missing a beat, replies "So will you, old man".
McCain, now more furious than ever, screams "You bastard! If you are elected you will at best maintain our taxes, at worst increase them while trying to nationalize all you can. Plus, you really have no firm stance or plan for anything and only wait for polls to determine your positions. And lastly, you are a not-so-closet Marxist!"
Obama, appearing bored now, again replies "Are you insane? You describe yourself as well!"
McCain, tired from being so angry now, is finally able to think clearly. He realizes Obama is right and says "Well why are we fighting then?"
Obama answers "Because the American people expect it and need it."
McCain smiles "Oh. Right. Well then, come let me buy you a prune juice, and hope nobody saw this silly encounter." As they walk off, McCain asks "Why would anyone vote for either of us anyway?". Obama replies "What choice do they have?". McCain chuckles "Good point".
The Crotch
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To finish Thrust's story: then Ross Perot sneaks up behind them and pulls both their spines out by the coccyx.
Ikohn4ever
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[quote name='Xevious']McCain's finishing movie is the cold ice stare from his wife
[/quote]
sadly though Cindy McCain only has one look
sadly though Cindy McCain only has one look
JolietJake
Banned
[quote name='The Crotch']To finish Thrust's story: then Ross Perot sneaks up behind them and pulls both their spines out by the coccyx.[/quote]
Then runs away away laughing like a demonic little leprechaun.
Then runs away away laughing like a demonic little leprechaun.
elprincipe
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What we really need in this thread is some audio with the Mortal Kombat announcer using both names ("Baraka Obama versus Johnny McCain"). That would be cool. Or, even cooler, the next Mortal Kombat game includes a presidential politics strategy minigame. Sweet.
bread's done