Fun Things You Do While Going Number Two

n8rockerasu

n8rockerasu

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All right, after thoroughly enjoying the "Do You Pee in the Shower?" and "How Many Times a Day Do You Poop?" threads, it inspired me to take it one step further and make this thread. The great male secret was universally let out of the bag on a recent episode of How I Met Your Mother, when it was declared that time on the toilet is time you don't get back, so why not make it productive?

I've come across several people in my 26 years on this planet who admit to doing some really great things while taking care of business. And this goes far beyond merely reading a magazine... One of the funniest ones I've personally encountered was in college, when I walked into my hall bathroom to the sound of a guy talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone. The best part was as he heard the door open, he kinda stuttered, stopped, and then meekly said "Hello??? Don't mind me. I'm just talking to my girlfriend on the phone...and taking a crap." Some might consider this moderately normal in the privacy of your own home...but in a public bathroom? PRICELESS!!!

Other than that, I know a guy who while learning guitar, would take his guitar into the bathroom with him to get in a little extra practice. Talk about dedication to your craft! Me, personally, I like to use the time to catch up on any DS games that I've been meaning to play. So, what's the best thing you guys do (or know someone who does) to keep your time on the crapper from wasting your life away? After all, you only live once! :)
 
my god, how long are you guys on the pot for.......

The mere few minutes I spend, I think about how my next bowel movement will go...

It's too little time to do really anything besides letting the mind wander off for a bit.
 
[quote name='billyrox']best way to be...[/quote]

Just don't overdo it. Or you'll find yourself in there for longer for opposite reasons, haha.
 
[quote name='billyrox']seriously.. how long do you stay in hte bathroom.. i'm only there like 3 mins tops[/QUOTE]

And do you only use one square of toilet paper as well? These minute men need to learn to ENJOY the experience and let it last longer. Get a good magazine or book. Get some finger paints. Maybe when you get older you will learn to love it more.
 
[quote name='javeryh']What is this 2005? ;)

I do lots of things on the can while pooping.[/quote]

Well, I didn't want my opener to be "So, who eats chili while taking a shit? Show of hands?" haha :)

Care to elaborate though?
 
I usually text while crapping, dont want any unsavory plopping noises to be heard.....i counted the tiles on my bathroom floor a couple of times while waiting for the drop off lol make sure they r all they
 
[quote name='help1']I am only on the shitter for a minute max, so I usually sing a snippet of a song.[/quote]

Sometimes I try to belt out the chrous of painkiller. Still workin on it.

He, is, the painkiller, this is the painkiller
 
[quote name='musha666']And do you only use one square of toilet paper as well? These minute men need to learn to ENJOY the experience and let it last longer. Get a good magazine or book. Get some finger paints. Maybe when you get older you will learn to love it more.[/quote]


no... the longer you stay on the shitter, the higher likelihood you'll get hemorrhoids
 
I just get in, drop a log, and get out. I don't stay there any longer than I need to. I've got better things to do with my time than sit on a toilet.
 
My new roommate told me I should read this book he just finished and left it on the couch. It's good I didn't touch it. It wasn't too long after that I realized he reads while crapping. That is seriously nasty. And so are all of you who do other things while on the toilet. I get in and get out. No reason to linger longer in there.

And my mom wonders why I "waste" my money on buying new books instead of checking them out from the library. Besides knowing where used books have been though, I also want my own library.
 
[quote name='MorPhiend']My new roommate told me I should read this book he just finished and left it on the couch. It's good I didn't touch it. It wasn't too long after that I realized he reads while crapping. That is seriously nasty. And so are all of you who do other things while on the toilet. I get in and get out. No reason to linger longer in there.

And my mom wonders why I "waste" my money on buying new books instead of checking them out from the library. Besides knowing where used books have been though, I also want my own library.[/quote]

I can't even begin to comprehend how reading while on the toilet is supposedly "nasty". Do you not wash your hands when you're done? You guys are some freaking germophobes. Watching the evening news must terrify you. You guys are uptight as hell.
 
I take a moment to think of everything that has happened in that day, and how I can improve or fix them. I also take a second to just appreciate my ability to take a poo and I thank whoever is up there for the great invention we know as the toilet.
 
I sometimes read Entertainment Weekly,TV Guide or I txt. But most of the time i check out CAG while I'm dropping one. Read threads like this one or work on my CAG blog!
 
[quote name='MorPhiend']My new roommate told me I should read this book he just finished and left it on the couch. It's good I didn't touch it. It wasn't too long after that I realized he reads while crapping. That is seriously nasty. And so are all of you who do other things while on the toilet. I get in and get out. No reason to linger longer in there.

And my mom wonders why I "waste" my money on buying new books instead of checking them out from the library. Besides knowing where used books have been though, I also want my own library.[/quote]

me and my roommate share a bathroom, whatever book im reading, he reads too.... guess we are just some sick fuckers
 
[quote name='MorPhiend']My new roommate told me I should read this book he just finished and left it on the couch. It's good I didn't touch it. It wasn't too long after that I realized he reads while crapping. That is seriously nasty. And so are all of you who do other things while on the toilet. I get in and get out. No reason to linger longer in there.

And my mom wonders why I "waste" my money on buying new books instead of checking them out from the library. Besides knowing where used books have been though, I also want my own library.[/QUOTE]

Long as you don't touch the book after you wipe your ass, I don't see the problem here. But yeah I can relate on not wantin' to deal with used books if ya don't wanna. I buy all my paperbacks used, but to each their own.
 
Damn, if all you peeps are playing DS or reading a mag while taking a dump..you need more fiber in your diet and drink MORE WATER instead of coke.
 
[quote name='adriley313']Read threads like this one or work on my CAG blog![/quote]

If you are reading this thread while dropping a deuce, give yourself 10 points
 
[quote name='getmeoutofjoliet']I let it fall on her chest while I rub one out.[/QUOTE]

Winner.

I surf the web on my ipod touch.
 
[quote name='Vulcan2422']One word, Blumpkin.[/quote]

Amazingly, the poster above you beat you to it, haha. I categorize the blumpkin along with the Unicorn, Donkey Punch, and Santa Claus. Magical ideas that simply cannot exist in this realm. Sadly, they only exist in our hearts.
 
If I'm at home, play my DS or PSP. This is why I like games that I can pick up and only play a couple minutes. If I don't have a game to play, then I read. Generally Game Informer if they mailed me a new one.

If I'm in the public (and don't have my DS/PSP with me), I use my phone. If it has games, then I play those. If not, then I do some housekeeping on my calendar.
 
[quote name='n8rockerasu']Amazingly, the poster above you beat you to it, haha. I categorize the blumpkin along with the Unicorn, Donkey Punch, and Santa Claus. Magical ideas that simply cannot exist in this realm. Sadly, they only exist in our hearts.[/quote]

ROFLCOPTER!!
 
Since I am not on the toilet long nothing.

If I was not though it would defiantly be a magazine, I don't want to take electronics in due to fear of getting them wet (yes I am crazy but).
 
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