Getting out of jury duty

If the person on trial is of opposite race than you are, just say you are racist and will say they are guilty no matter what.

If he is of the same race, just say you know people who are related to the person on trial and therefore cannot be a fair juror.
 
Four times the advice, four times the chance.

Say you're pregnant. If they laugh and say you're a guy, remind them of the movie "Junior", where Arnold got pregnant. Tell them you're under Dr. Von Friklenburgen's care and cannot deal with the current emotional stress as it might have a negative effect on the baby.
 
[quote name='Scorch']Four times the advice, four times the chance.

Say you're pregnant. If they laugh and say you're a guy, remind them of the movie "Junior", where Arnold got pregnant. Tell them you're under Dr. Von Friklenburgen's care and cannot deal with the current emotional stress as it might have a negative effect on the baby.[/quote]

:rofl:

I am thinking of going to the gym earlier and smelling like shit. Then I want to wear some torn up painters clothes or something like that. Also, I bought oreos and I want to make my teeth all nasty. I am definitely going to be an asshole with my answers, so I'm hoping it will all culminate in me leaving early :)

Any other suggestions are welcome!
 
Put some peanut butter in you ass crack. When the time is right, stick your hand in there are grab a handful. Then stick it in your mouth.

You will be tossed out of there so fast it will make your head spin.
 
[quote name='opportunity777']
I am thinking of going to the gym earlier and smelling like shit. Then I want to wear some torn up painters clothes or something like that. Also, I bought oreos and I want to make my teeth all nasty. I am definitely going to be an asshole with my answers, so I'm hoping it will all culminate in me leaving early :)

Any other suggestions are welcome![/quote]


I don't know about where you live, but your idea wouldn't work where I live. Even though the jury summons tells you how to dress (basically boils down to being neat in appearance... no shorts... no distracting clothing, etc.), the jury rooms are a freakshow sometimes in my city. When I went, I saw men with beer-stained, chewed up shirts (some of which had foul language or sexually explicit material on them), some men wearing only boxer shorts and wifebeaters, and women wearing clothing that would make hookers blush.

Overall, I would say that if you ar honest, things will work out. Karma will be on your side, and you may not be picked. Who knows?
 
[quote name='Saucy Jack'][quote name='opportunity777']
I am thinking of going to the gym earlier and smelling like shit. Then I want to wear some torn up painters clothes or something like that. Also, I bought oreos and I want to make my teeth all nasty. I am definitely going to be an asshole with my answers, so I'm hoping it will all culminate in me leaving early :)

Any other suggestions are welcome![/quote]


I don't know about where you live, but your idea wouldn't work where I live. Even though the jury summons tells you how to dress (basically boils down to being neat in appearance... no shorts... no distracting clothing, etc.), the jury rooms are a freakshow sometimes in my city. When I went, I saw men with beer-stained, chewed up shirts (some of which had foul language or sexually explicit material on them), some men wearing only boxer shorts and wifebeaters, and women wearing clothing that would make hookers blush.

Overall, I would say that if you ar honest, things will work out. Karma will be on your side, and you may not be picked. Who knows?[/quote]

I have horrible luck with these type of things I need a plan :)
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']tell them that you eat cocks for breakfast....that just might work[/quote]

The judge himself might pick me then ... you never know what goes on behind the bench ...
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']tell them that you eat cocks for breakfast....that just might work[/quote]

:rofl:

That quote is sig-worthy!
 
[quote name='opportunity777'][quote name='trustcompany1013']tell them that you eat cocks for breakfast....that just might work[/quote]

The judge himself might pick me then ... you never know what goes on behind the bench ...[/quote]

so would you rather show up and eat his cock or show up and not eat his cock? good question...right? :lol:
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013'][quote name='opportunity777'][quote name='trustcompany1013']tell them that you eat cocks for breakfast....that just might work[/quote]

The judge himself might pick me then ... you never know what goes on behind the bench ...[/quote]

so would you rather show up and eat his cock or show up and not eat his cock? good question...right? :lol:[/quote]

It depends ... if I eat cock can I leave? :eek:

I got to get ready in a few hours, so it looks like I'm off for now ... wish me luck on not getting picked :)
 
I dunno, my friends sister just didn't show up. He told me to get his mail once and when I did his sis had a jury duty notice. He never remembered to pick up the mail, and I still have the notice. She never went though, and never got in trouble or anything. Maybe she was lucky? Though saying things like you're racist won't get you out of jury duty, you just get thrown back into the pool and they'll assign you to another case where that won't affect anything.
 
If you really want to get out of it tell them you've been a victim of a violent crime or that you have had a bad experience with the law.

IMO you should just tell the truth and hope you don't get selected. Bullshitting to get out of your civic duty is wrong.

What goes around comes around
 
[quote name='snotknocker']
IMO you should just tell the truth and hope you don't get selected. Bullshitting to get out of your civic duty is wrong.
[/quote]

I totally agree.

I happen to have jury duty today too (at 9am). I was kind of surprised it was still on considering what happened this weekend (the town was flooded pretty badly...again). While I don't particularly want to get picked, I'm not going to make shit up to try and get out of it. I guess we'll just see what happens.
 
Go buy a big rainbox colored afro! Those ones at amusment parks, A pot t shirt, and acid fadded jeans!

When they ask if you can be a fair say you cant even remebr your own name from all the grass in the parking lot! Then procedd to pull down your pants and moon the judge.

Worked for me!
 
Just let them know you're aware of your right as a juror to nullify and they'll toss you like nobody's business.
 
So, what do you have going on that you want to get out of this? I have never been called for jury duty, but if I were, I'd do it unless there were some pressing reason not to.
 
Ahhh, another problem with the youth of today. You should be honored to do your civic duty and should feel proud to be in a nation that allows you to be tried by a jury of your peers.

Grow up, do what has been requested of you and do your duty.
 
I got called for Jury Duty...interviewed by the attorneys, and picked for a trial.

Let me tell you, it was a couple days off from work, and it was a really great experience. I had a great time...in fact we all had a great time, deciding the fate of some luckless slob who was lawsuit-happy, making fun of the scheister lawyer he hired, and generally enjoying the power of deciding the fate of the trial. :)

Honestly, they'll tell you how long the trial is expected to last, and you can pretty much say "there is no way I can commit to that, if you picked me, knowing the hardship that much time would cause me, I doubt I could be a very partial juror".....boom, outta there.
 
[quote name='jmcc']Just let them know you're aware of your right as a juror to nullify and they'll toss you like nobody's business.[/quote]

This is the best advice you're going to get. Acting like you're insane or coming in smelling like crap won't work unless you're prepared to keep up the act for a LONG time. Ignoring the call won't work; trust me on this, I've done it several times and they keep inviting me to come and explain myself to the judge. The only other dodge that comes close would be the one where you admit to being a racist, and when it comes time to say that in front of about 40 people, you're probably going to chicken out. (Unless, of course, you ARE a racist; in which case go nuts with it.)

But calmly stating that you are aware of your right as a juror to ignore the law and nullify the trial will work like a charm. They want cookie cutter decisions from people swayed by emotional appeal, not challenges to the status quo from independent thinkers.
 
You can also tell them that you have a relative on the police force. That will definately give you credible bias in most cases. No defendant wants a juror who may have a disposition against criminals.
 
I'm back from my jury duty summons. There was no trial. It was a traffic stop case involving the highway patrol. Apparently, before the trial was supposed to begin, the defense got to see the tape from the stop and decided to change their plea so we were all dismissed. Got my $5 and here I am.
 
[quote name='Scorch'][quote name='KrazyKefka']Got my $5 and here I am.[/quote]

Off to Circuit City!?

Man, I miss that sale.[/quote]

:rofl:
Me too.
 
How bout you go, serve your duty, and appreciate living in a country, that, while not perfect, allows and requests its citizens to participate in the judicial system instead of just shooting people it doesn't like in the head?

I've never been summoned or picked for jury duty, but unless there was a major conflict [like my wife having a baby or something] I would be proud to serve.
 
I was told to bring a book or magazine to read during the downtime.

One of the lawyers asked what I was reading, I told him, "Handguns", and was soon released.

Bring a copy of Soldier of Fortune with you; that could be your ticket home.
 
4433.jpg


"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say
you're prejudiced against all races."
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']tell them that you eat cocks for breakfast....that just might work[/quote]

Or just tell them you're homophobic, you think every man wants to have sex with you, and you intend to put the defendant behind bars so he can't have his way with you.
 
I know plenty of people, my self included, that have gotten notices for jury duty and tossed them in the trash. Nothing bad will happen, they won't show up at your door and take you away. Notices often go out to hundreds of people and they know most of them will be ignored.
 
[quote name='KrazyKefka']I'm back from my jury duty summons. There was no trial. It was a traffic stop case involving the highway patrol. Apparently, before the trial was supposed to begin, the defense got to see the tape from the stop and decided to change their plea so we were all dismissed. Got my $5 and here I am.[/quote]

Be sure to claim that $5 on next year's tax return.
 
Personally, I too would want to get out of jury duty if I were selected but I'm not going to do something stupid. I don't really feel that this is my duty or anything, but there's not much you can do. I would just tell the truth and hope for the best.
 
[quote name='suko_32']Personally, I too would want to get out of jury duty if I were selected but I'm not going to do something stupid. I don't really feel that this is my duty or anything, but there's not much you can do. I would just tell the truth and hope for the best.[/quote]

I'd be curious to hear why you don't think this is your duty?
 
Tell them that anybody who doesn't believe in your religion is wrong and must be punished in the eyes of God. No way you'll be selected...
 
[quote name='The Gifuto'][quote name='suko_32']Personally, I too would want to get out of jury duty if I were selected but I'm not going to do something stupid. I don't really feel that this is my duty or anything, but there's not much you can do. I would just tell the truth and hope for the best.[/quote]

I'd be curious to hear why you don't think this is your duty?[/quote]

:shock: Same here... :shock:
 
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