GGT 144 is keeping it simple.

adjective /priˈtenCHəs/ 

Attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed
- a pretentious literary device
 
I thought the nuclear bomb bullshit was pretentious, for sure. So perhaps everything before it about relationships was an accidental side product of his true intention, a but a good accident nonetheless.

Kind of like how I wouldn't call Blizzard brilliant because Broodwar is perfectly balanced. Freak accidents happen.
 
Yo, real talk:

Legend of Kage 2 is the worst 2D ninja game since Shinobi Legions.

I mean, sure, there's no treesnakes or trainbullets or FMV.

But its got something stank as hellllllll goin on up in there.

The game plays like a PC Engine game, which is to say that it sucks. Your dude doesn't even have a combo to start out with - you just have a single sword swipe that you use again and again and a-fuckin-gain. Then you get a combo, but it sucks. You're like "SWEET 2 HIT COMBO ZOMG SUPER SWEET 16" but then you realize that the combo is slower than fucking Joel trying to answer a math problem, so you'll never, ever, EVER get to use it unless you just stand there like a goon and swing at the air as though your character is pretending to be in a better game.

Also, you jump like a pair of donkey balls. Like, you leap about 500 feet in the air, but you can't really control your direction when you're in the air. So it's sorta like all those shitty Famicom games where your character was a retard and couldn't jump for shit plus a shitty PC Engine action game. Which is fucking annoying, because you're trying to jump into trees (which contain no snakes, thank GAWD) and the controls are so bad that you'll realize it's probably easier to fist a baby than make a jump on your first try.

But it doesn't even fuckin' matter, cuz the game is fuckin' easy. I literally just ran through the first level without jumping once, just mashing the attack button and got through the stage without getting hit. I had to jump once or twice in the second level, but that was easy as hell. Until I got to the grandpa boss with the bigger-than-usual head, which was obnoxious cuz he took like 20 hits to kill. Then I got to the third level, and it was like... more jumping, so it was just annoying as shit for the reasons provided earlier in this treatise.

Also, Kage needs to put on a fucking shirt. That homo.

This game would've been the shit, but it's tough to say anything positive about it in this post-Shinobi III world. So basically, yeah... if this game came out before 1993, when nobody knew how to make a game, it'd probably be okay-ish. Then again, it'd also be called "The Legend of Kage"... as in the original game, which everyone fucking hated. So Taito hasn't learned anything in 25 years.

fuck Japan, I hate you all.
 
[quote name='Chacrana']So Taito hasn't learned anything in 25 years.[/QUOTE]
This sums up everything about Taito and anything they ever make.
 
[quote name='Halo05']I like Taito. That said, I didn't know that they made anything other than compilations of their old games anymore.[/QUOTE]

Taito used to be sweet, back when they made arcade games.

Now they're owned by Square who used to be sweet also.

Now, they both suck.
 
Hell yeah, son.

That PS3 version of GOW3 with the Gears 2 cover is mad dope.

I can't wait to get that Platinum trophy up ins. You know what I'm saying, Thomas96, my dude?
 
ME2's CE had an okay artbook, terrible extras disc (three making of vids, a couple of trailers, then every ME2 wallpaper you can get off Bioware's site for free), and the Collector armor. The steelbook was of nice quality, though. I'm a huge fan and was super disappointed by the extras disc and the art book (it was like 15 pages long).
 
[quote name='zewone']Hell yeah, son.

That PS3 version of GOW3 with the Gears 2 cover is mad dope.

I can't wait to get that Platinum trophy up ins. You know what I'm saying, Thomas96, my dude?[/QUOTE]

Hell yeah, we can co-op Platinum Gears 3 using the GOW3 Sharpshooter... motion controlled Chainsaw Bayonet FTW! lol

You got a PS3 zewie? can I borrow your PS Move? (when GOW3 comes out?)
 
[quote name='Thomas96']Hell yeah, we can co-op Platinum Gears 3 using the GOW3 Sharpshooter... motion controlled Chainsaw Bayonet FTW! lol

You got a PS3 zewie? can I borrow your PS Move? (when GOW3 comes out?)[/QUOTE]

Nah, no PS3, that shits for squares.

I'm going to have to get one for ICO/SotC tomorrow. Get my pretentious games up ins. Ya heard me?
 
[quote name='zewone']Nah, no PS3, that shits for squares.

I'm going to have to get one for ICO/SotC tomorrow. Get my pretentious games up ins. Ya heard me?[/QUOTE]

lol how ironic, these two games probably didn't sell one PS2, and here they are years later about to sell a PS3. If you fund it... they'll make more for you . sho ya right zeweezy.
 
[quote name='Thomas96']lol how ironic, these two games probably didn't sell one PS2, and here they are years later about to sell a PS3. If you fund it... they'll make more for you . sho ya right zeweezy.[/QUOTE]

The only reason they might sell well is because there's so much garbage on the PS3 that these otherwise uninteresting games are suddenly exciting.
 
Zew - here's the link. I'm on phone so lmk if it doesn't work

http://item.mobileweb.ebay.com/viewitem?itemId=270824563683&index=23&nav=SEARCH&nid=67514791196
 
Gears 3 is an art game. You play a homosexual man who has to repress his feelings for his long-time partner, who doesn't reciprocate those feelings, and constantly dwells on his deceased wife instead. It's deep man.
 
[quote name='ihadFG']Gears 3 is an art game. You play a homosexual man who has to repress his feelings for his long-time partner, who doesn't reciprocate those feelings, and constantly dwells on his deceased wife instead. It's deep man.[/QUOTE]

sgrebb.jpg
 
[quote name='Thomas96']http://kotaku.com/5844018/no-one-told-el-universal-gears-3-was-an-xbox-360-exclusive

This Gears of War 3 on PS3 makes me want to hold off on buying the 360 version in "hopes" of an actual PS3 release.[/QUOTE]
lol
[quote name='zewone']Hell yeah, son.

That PS3 version of GOW3 with the Gears 2 cover is mad dope.

I can't wait to get that Platinum trophy up ins. You know what I'm saying, Thomas96, my dude?[/QUOTE]
fuck yeah, Gears 3 on PS3. PSN will explode.

[quote name='ihadFG']Gears 3 is an art game. You play a homosexual man who has to repress his feelings for his long-time partner, who doesn't reciprocate those feelings, and constantly dwells on his deceased wife instead. It's deep man.[/QUOTE]
Sounds like Johnny Blow's vision for his Gears ripoff.
 
[quote name='hankmecrankme']
Sounds like Johnny Blow's vision for his Gears ripoff.[/QUOTE]

Nah man, that's what the game is actually about.
 
[quote name='ihadFG']Nah man, that's what the game is actually about.[/QUOTE]
Leave it to Epic to make a deep story about droship.

True bros.

Johnny Blow could learn a thing or two about true storytelling.
 
[quote name='dallow']Castlevania: Harmony of Despair is out tommorow for PS3.
I think I'll jump in on that.[/QUOTE]

I put like 120 hours into it on XBLA. So awesome.
 
[quote name='Thomas96']Hell yeah, we can co-op Platinum Gears 3 using the GOW3 Sharpshooter... motion controlled Chainsaw Bayonet FTW! lol

You got a PS3 zewie? can I borrow your PS Move? (when GOW3 comes out?)[/QUOTE]

God of War 3 is already out. :roll:
I know lots of people don't know the proper names for things but Kratos uses the blades of athena or the blades of chaos. He does not use a "Chainsaw Bayonet".
 
My Ico/SotC shipped. I'm really starting to feel the pressure of the fall onslaught of games. I can never keep up, even with just the main ones I want.
 
[quote name='zewone']I put like 120 hours into it on XBLA. So awesome.[/QUOTE]

Sheeeit, sounds like a purchase to me.
 
How much is the Castlevania loot game, dallow? Any chance of PS+ discount? And will you actually play it online with people? That might convince me to buy it. :p
 
bread's done
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