Girlfriend problems. LOL

shady859

shady859

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UPDATE: The follow is a joke, I found it on another forum and it's the funniest thing I've read in a minute so I brought it here. ;)

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over the last couple of months i've been dating the clerk at the local store, whenever i purchase my groceries she always smile at me and waves me good bye.
i love her really, but im not sure how this is going to end up.
i've been going there everyday, just to see her, and her smile, but one problem is i've never touched her??

are girlfriend/boyfriends supposed to touch eachother or am i missing something??
whenever i see her i want to hug her, maybe even kiss her but i dont think shes that kind of girl.
i've been following her home, making sure she gets there safely, but i never have the guts to tell her that, but she's sending me signals that she likes it.
like sometimes when i buy my groceries and im packing up, she blinks at me, usually the day after i guarded her when she was walking home.

i also have dreams, we share dreams actually, she comes to me and we can fulfill all our stuff there, like this one time i ate a string of strawberrys with her in a field, it was beautiful and blue and green, and then our lips touched when i was looking away.
i felt kind of fdirty after that and i hope i didnt soil my beloved kate.

tomorrow im going to talk to her about our problems, because im in constant agony because of this.
i just hope she wont be mad, i mean, i dont know if she wants to touch me or not or if it's an insult to her perfect personality.
regardless, i must calm down, everything is going to be okay, she's a good girl and she wants what's best for me.

im going to ask her to marry me next week, when i resolve it.
its going to be a big one!! im gonna hire a small 6 man string orchestra and play "beautiful world" for her in the store, before bowing down and asking her for the holy matrimony!!
shes going to be so happy and surprised!!

i must wear something nice though.. must ask mom to take me to the store for that.
im almost 26 years old now so its time i got married my mom says.
well my mom is going to be so happy for me!!

speaking of which, every night i write a poem for her, to her, and then i read it to her in our dreams.
i can tell everyday when she gives me signals and blinks that she loves them..

why was i even worrying to begin with, she loves me and i love her and thats all that counts. im going to march up there right now and ask her to marry me, screw the orchestra, i need to do this NOW!

wish me luck!!
 
[quote name='xzafixz']If this is a joke, thats hilarious, if not... oh my god.[/QUOTE]

It's a joke

i can tell everyday when she gives me signals and blinks that she loves them..
Click to expand...

This shady guy doesn't seem psychotic in any of his other posts, so this line pretty much seals up the joke angle.
 
Dude does she even know shes your girlfriend.I mean you "guard" her home.Sounds like she needs to be guarded from you.I mean just because a girl blinks her eyes doesn't mean shes blinking at you.I really hope your just kiddin and not some wierdo.
Hope you resolve your ISSUE.
 
Ok any serious advice? Someone questioned why I would ask gamers for girlfriend advice, well you people are just like me. Most of us are kinda shy and akward as far as girls go.
 
You need to give her the buttseckz after following her home tomorrow. After that, all your problems will be solved. Well, maybe one of them at least.
 
Ok maybe I'll try some dating/love advice forums, I just tried here first because I'm here most often and thought you guys would be able to understand where I'm coming from. Maybe I was wrong. :(
 
[quote name='bmulligan']You need to give her the buttseckz after following her home tomorrow. After that, all your problems will be solved. Well, maybe one of them at least.[/QUOTE]

:lol:

all i can think is that an older brother or something is on his account, this is something id do to my little brothers...
Click to expand...

I BET that's it.
 
[quote name='$hady']Ok maybe I'll try some dating/love advice forums, I just tried here first because I'm here most often and thought you guys would be able to understand where I'm coming from. Maybe I was wrong. :([/QUOTE]
What are you talking about? We've given you the best advice ever. Just read between the lines.
 
For dating and love advice, always trust in the ways of the Fonz.

fonz.jpg
 
This is too funny! Whoever's on his account has even gone to the trouble to change the custom rank under his user name.
 
[quote name='$hady']over the last couple of months i've been dating the clerk at the local store, whenever i purchase my groceries she always smile at me and waves me good bye.
i love her really, but im not sure how this is going to end up.
i've been going there everyday, just to see her, and her smile, but one problem is i've never touched her??

are girlfriend/boyfriends supposed to touch eachother or am i missing something??
whenever i see her i want to hug her, maybe even kiss her but i dont think shes that kind of girl.
i've been following her home, making sure she gets there safely, but i never have the guts to tell her that, but she's sending me signals that she likes it.
like sometimes when i buy my groceries and im packing up, she blinks at me, usually the day after i guarded her when she was walking home.

i also have dreams, we share dreams actually, she comes to me and we can fulfill all our stuff there, like this one time i ate a string of strawberrys with her in a field, it was beautiful and blue and green, and then our lips touched when i was looking away.
i felt kind of fdirty after that and i hope i didnt soil my beloved kate.

tomorrow im going to talk to her about our problems, because im in constant agony because of this.
i just hope she wont be mad, i mean, i dont know if she wants to touch me or not or if it's an insult to her perfect personality.
regardless, i must calm down, everything is going to be okay, she's a good girl and she wants what's best for me.

im going to ask her to marry me next week, when i resolve it.
its going to be a big one!! im gonna hire a small 6 man string orchestra and play "beautiful world" for her in the store, before bowing down and asking her for the holy matrimony!!
shes going to be so happy and surprised!!

i must wear something nice though.. must ask mom to take me to the store for that.
im almost 26 years old now so its time i got married my mom says.
well my mom is going to be so happy for me!!

speaking of which, every night i write a poem for her, to her, and then i read it to her in our dreams.
i can tell everyday when she gives me signals and blinks that she loves them..

why was i even worrying to begin with, she loves me and i love her and thats all that counts. im going to march up there right now and ask her to marry me, screw the orchestra, i need to do this NOW!

wish me luck!![/QUOTE]

don't bother talking to her

your best bet is to drug her somehow, gag her and throw her in your trunk for a couple of days

chicks love shit like that
 
[quote name='PKRipp3r']don't bother talking to her

your best bet is to drug her somehow, gag her and throw her in your trunk for a couple of days

chicks love shit like that[/QUOTE]

i recommend a good ball gag
 
how about asking her name, and maybe hello and if you ever get her to your place for god sake throw away the hair doll you made of her
 
[quote name='Odenat']Why in the world would you ask gamers for girlfriend advice[/QUOTE]
Not all of us all slobbering ogres who can't talk to women.
 
[quote name='bmulligan']You need to give her the buttseckz after following her home tomorrow. After that, all your problems will be solved. Well, maybe one of them at least.[/QUOTE]

I totally agree. :lol:
 
[quote name='onetrackmind']i recommend a good ball gag[/QUOTE]

nah. go with the sock soaked in ether.
 
[quote name='onetrackmind']i recommend a good ball gag[/QUOTE]

agreed

(i was going to post an image, but after doing a google image search for 'ball gag' i need to go pour liquid soap directly into my eyes)
 
Shady has always been an attention whore. He either says inflamatory stuff or just stupid shit (so people will react) Its best to not take anything he says seriously and ignore anything that seems abnormal.
 
so is this really a joke or what? seem like a joke to me eh?

if not.. just give her a donkey kong punch and you will be alright :)
 
[quote name='PKRipp3r']

(i was going to post an image, but after doing a google image search for 'ball gag' i need to go pour liquid soap directly into my eyes)[/QUOTE]

Ha ha ha, what a terrible idea! Never do a google image search for ambigious things...as some of them cannot be "unseen".
 
[quote name='racthamp']so is this really a joke or what? seem like a joke to me eh?

if not.. just give her a donkey kong punch and you will be alright :)[/QUOTE]

It's donkey punch. Plain ol' donkey punch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donkey_punch

EDIT: And OP, if you're serious about that getting married thing, you should reevaluate your decision if you need advice on whether to 'touch' her or not. If you don't know the signals before getting married, you might want to learn them beforehand. Otherwise, it's a recipe for disaster.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']It's donkey punch. Plain ol' donkey punch.

[/QUOTE]

It's a Donkey Kong punch when you are pretending like the person you are hitting is mario.
 
Put it in her butt. If she gets a pink sock, it was meant to be. No pink sock, then it's time to find someone else my friend.
 
LMFAO!

I came across this on another forum and it was so good I had to post it here as my own! I cracked up reading it, it was a joke when the other guy posted it also. :lol:

 
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