Xbconnect works a good majority of the time. Plus if you find a really good host with good ping, you can often stay there for several games. i've stayed on servers for 2+ hrs with great competition, and it was lag-free.
You just have to pay attention to location and ping, and how many boxes are connected. If 4 boxes are connected, you're destined to fail. However, 2-3 works well. If you dont like the lag, find another host, there's plenty of games going on at all times.