How to be a successful evil overlord

If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

:rofl:

I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."

:rofl: :rofl:


If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
 
My list
1. Have 50 midget generals.
2. Pay $10 each to poverty-stricken bums, to act as my lower division squad.
3. Build the highest castle known to man.
4. Set up a couple of pornographic frames on the wall for decoration.
5. If a valiant/courageous mercenary comes up to my domain for my riches, I'll give him a set of riddles for which he has to complete under 10 mins. If the riddles aren't solved, then he would face my poverty-stricken bums in an all out battle.

That's pretty much it.
 
[quote name='evilmregg']All I bought was a length of rope, a hamster, and a pair of pliers. I'm an evil overlord on a budget.[/QUOTE]

I couldn't even afford the frigin hampster. :bomb:
 
Revived! Sorry for the old thread, but I just finished reading this again and felt the need to bring it up ^^


Still funny :)
 
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
Click to expand...

AKA the 'Ewok factor':lol:

My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
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AKA the Independence Day fallacy
 
An important rule to being a successful evil overlord is you ever capture a 'good guy', don't become overconfident, gloat, and tell the 'good guy' all your plans of world domination. Just kill the 'good guy' immediately.
 
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