How to deal with a friend in jail? - UPDATE 8/11

[quote name='lokizz']if its a guy send them soap on a rope if its a chick tell her to choose gangs wisely and try not to look to pretty.[/quote]

People really need to stop with the "don't drop the soap" jokes.
 
Hmm, if shes that much of a friend (like you say she is) you should stick with her. People should do that no matter what, we all makes mistakes after all :whistle2:|

Support her! Be a FRIEND!

My view anyway :)...im not saying what has happened is right. But it takes two to tango (hate that saying!)
 
[quote name='rickonker']pacific just hinted at what I was going to say. You're taking the cops' word for it; wouldn't you talk to her at least once to hear it from her directly?[/QUOTE]

If you really need to hear it from her directly or fully believe the police are crooked and biased I could see why you may want to hear it from her yourself. I wasn't aware of the situation regarding the police in the area, I thought it was a "valid" confession with representation, something written down and signed, etc.

However, even if you want to give her the benefit of the doubt (again), you still need to be ready to walk away if what was reported is indeed true. Being friends with someone who has committed a crime like that could have negative effects on your own life (especially in the work place with your co-workers) and you know you can no longer really trust her.

Hope for the best but be prepared to act on the worst.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']Don't drop the soap[/QUOTE]
You're making a soap joke and you're not even the first to do it in the thread. This must be like being picked last for the chess club's baseball team.

(Not to hate on chess club or anything.)
 
[quote name='keithp']She's not bad looking. I'd say hit her up for some conjugal visits.[/quote]

Thread should have ended here.

Seriously though, what is it with young female teachers banging students, do they think it's ok or what ?
 
If you choose to be supportive, do it outside of the school so you do not affect your career. I would go so far as to just not talk about it during work.
 
Excuse me. But let me provide some perspective for you guys. How many of you had lost your virginity by age 16? Personally I knew of dozens of 16 year olds who were having sex like tomorrow depended on it back in High School. The truth is that she probably did it and I personally wouldn't break up a friendship over it. Now if the kid had been 13 or 14, that would call for a different personal opinion but 16 year olds have sex all the time and one just happened to have sex with this woman. To me, this is no big deal. What actually makes me mad is that she is apparently a cheating whore because while she was fucking the 16 year old, she had a 2 year old relationship on the side.
 
[quote name='rickshankshaw']Excuse me. But let me provide some perspective for you guys. How many of you had lost your virginity by age 16? Personally I knew of dozens of 16 year olds who were having sex like tomorrow depended on it back in High School. The truth is that she probably did it and I personally wouldn't break up a friendship over it. Now if the kid had been 13 or 14, that would call for a different personal opinion but 16 year olds have sex all the time and one just happened to have sex with this woman. To me, this is no big deal. What actually makes me mad is that she is apparently a cheating whore because while she was fucking the 16 year old, she had a 2 year old relationship on the side.[/quote]


Flawed logic. She is a teacher. Teachers shouldn't have sex with students, no matter what age they are.
 
This is the reason this never happened to me. I present the average teacher during my education :cry:

old%20people%20bird.jpg
 
[quote name='rickonker']You're making a soap joke and you're not even the first to do it in the thread. This must be like being picked last for the chess club's baseball team.

(Not to hate on chess club or anything.)[/QUOTE]\

It was supposed to be a joke in response to this post that is about three or four above me. Missing that must be like only reading half of the story which means you probably got terrible grades in school.

(Not to hate on people who get terrible grades in school)


[quote name='help1']People really need to stop with the "don't drop the soap" jokes.[/QUOTE]
 
A friend of mine actually was charged with the same crime, except it was a male teacher and a female student. The media was all over that story too.
I would go visit him, talk with him, and just be a friend to the guy. I to this day don't think he did it, I think it was a misunderstanding, as the girl was "mentally challenged" and I think that her parents talked her into accusing him of this to get some money, which is just SAD. He wound up taking a plea, because the whole ordeal has ruined his career anyway, were he to try and teach somewhere else, everyone would always be weary of him as a teacher. He took the plea just to try to move on with his life, though it was to a lesser offense, he still had to register with the sex offender list.
He was the highest rated teacher at his school for several years, and was offered prinicpal/schoolmaster jobs on several prior occasions, but turned them down because he didn't feel that administration was his strong suit, but that teaching really was.

We are still good friends, but it has been a real struggle for the man. His wife left him, he has to go to therapy, not to mention that finding a job was damn near impossible.

Stick with your friend, if you believe her, be the same person you have been to her before. Don't spread the gossip, it isn't going to help her cause any, if anyone asks why you support that person, tell them that you believe in this person, and until either a court can prove, without a doubt, that she did this crime or she tells you herself that she did this, so far, it is nothing but accusations and assumptions.

Stand up for what you believe in.
 
[quote name='TC']This is the reason this never happened to me. I present the average teacher during my education :cry:

old%20people%20bird.jpg
[/QUOTE]

If your average teacher flipped you off, that must have kept you entertained at least.
 
[quote name='FrankySox']\

It was supposed to be a joke in response to this post that is about three or four above me.[/QUOTE]

And that post was in response to...? :roll:
 
[quote name='benjamouth']Thread should have ended here.

Seriously though, what is it with young female teachers banging students, do they think it's ok or what ?[/quote]

women's liberation
 
[quote name='help1']Flawed logic. She is a teacher. Teachers shouldn't have sex with students, no matter what age they are.[/QUOTE]

Maybe she was, uh, "tutoring" him?
 
[quote name='benjamouth']

Seriously though, what is it with young female teachers banging students, do they think it's ok or what ?[/quote]

addendum


[quote name='rickshankshaw']Excuse me. But let me provide some perspective for you guys. How many of you had lost your virginity by age 16? Personally I knew of dozens of 16 year olds who were having sex like tomorrow depended on it back in High School. The truth is that she probably did it and I personally wouldn't break up a friendship over it. Now if the kid had been 13 or 14, that would call for a different personal opinion but 16 year olds have sex all the time and one just happened to have sex with this woman. To me, this is no big deal. [/quote]

That's why.
 
UPDATE: I finally got to go and see my friend at her house today. Apparently, she's been out of jail since Friday evening, but the police confiscated her cell phone, car, and computer until the investigation is finished. My wife and I went and spent a couple of hours at her house talking about all kinds of stuff. She told me that she couldn't talk about the arrest and trial per her lawyer's orders, but assured me that she fully believes she will be cleared to return to teaching before the year is over. Also, her boyfriend is still very much with her and has been visiting her daily and bringing her gifts and stuff. (She is fully cleared to leave her house and be out and around until her trial next Friday, but she said she feels uncomfortable being out in public until her name is cleared.) Needless to say, I now fully believe that she is completely innocent. I know she couldn't talk to us about the details of the case for now, but I just got that vibe from talking with her. The fact that my school principal called her and our former assistant principal attended her trial last week for support also seems to lead me to believe that she is in the clear. Also, I'm certain that her boyfriend wouldn't be standing by her if he felt that she had done what she is accused of. Anyway, I feel relieved now that I've had a chance to speak with her and spend some time with her. I'll post an update after her "real" trial next week. Thanks for all of the helpful suggestions and comments, guys.
 
She told me today that she can't talk about the details of the case, but did say that the police "questioned her for hours" in the wee hours of the morning and denied her a lawyer despite her asking for a lawyer 3 times during their questioning. She says it's all such a blur she doesn't really remember what she told them, but she said that they twisted what she said around when she spoke to them.
 
When we were children, there were some teachers who we perceived as hot, attractive, those we developed crushes on.

Who would ever guess that our teachers felt the exact same way about us?
 
Wouldn't being denied a lawyer make anything she says inadmissible?

[quote name='pacifickarma']She told me today that she can't talk about the details of the case, but did say that the police "questioned her for hours" in the wee hours of the morning and denied her a lawyer despite her asking for a lawyer 3 times during their questioning. She says it's all such a blur she doesn't really remember what she told them, but she said that they twisted what she said around when she spoke to them.[/quote]
 
[quote name='Kayden']Wouldn't being denied a lawyer make anything she says inadmissible?[/QUOTE]

Her lawyer is trying to prove that exact point. He's hoping to get the whole thing thrown out.
 
[quote name='help1']Flawed logic. She is a teacher. Teachers shouldn't have sex with students, no matter what age they are.[/QUOTE]

Excuse me. I was talking about about real life. Not Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda-land.
 
I think I would believe her. Its probably some punk kid who got a bad grade and wants to ruin her life.

I mean, if this really happened, why would the boy actually report this?
 
[quote name='Kayden']Wouldn't being denied a lawyer make anything she says inadmissible?[/quote]

Yes, assuming she asked for the lawyer right away. Look, I'm sure she's "confident" or whatever that her lawyer can get her off on a technicality but if she even alluded to the fact that she slept with a student then I don't believe a word she says otherwise. Saying "it was all a blur" is total bullshit - if I was ever being falsely accused of something like this I'd be screaming my head off at everyone and denying it until I was blue in the face. If you think the police locked her in a room for hours with no food or water and wouldn't let her sleep until she admitted it then you watch too much TV.
 
[quote name='javeryh']Yes, assuming she asked for the lawyer right away. Look, I'm sure she's "confident" or whatever that her lawyer can get her off on a technicality but if she even alluded to the fact that she slept with a student then I don't believe a word she says otherwise. Saying "it was all a blur" is total bullshit - if I was ever being falsely accused of something like this I'd be screaming my head off at everyone and denying it until I was blue in the face. If you think the police locked her in a room for hours with no food or water and wouldn't let her sleep until she admitted it then you watch too much TV.[/quote]

Yea, what needs to be remembered here is that if your Miranda rights are correctly given, it does NOT make a conviction overturned. What would happen is on an appeal, the defendant would claim the government did not follow due process, i.e. violated her constitutional right to a lawyer. Any evidence that was obtained in this way ( Here, it sounds like mayby a confession ) will not be allowed in court in the RETRIAL. This may or may not convict her again.

This is all assuming she gets convicted. She may be acquitted.
 
[quote name='Malik112099']this chick is screwed. At the very least she wont be a teacher again.[/quote]

If her lawyer gets the case dismissed, she isn't guilty of anything. Why would her life be any different?

Sorry, you can't take a confession from somebody without their lawyer after he or she has explicitly requested a lawyer.

And, yes, the cops could have just stuck her in a jail cell until her lawyer was present.

...

Glad to hear OP's friend is going to be OK.
 
[quote name='fatherofcaitlyn']If her lawyer gets the case dismissed, she isn't guilty of anything. Why would her life be any different?

Sorry, you can't take a confession from somebody without their lawyer after he or she has explicitly requested a lawyer.

And, yes, the cops could have just stuck her in a jail cell until her lawyer was present.

...

Glad to hear OP's friend is going to be OK.[/quote]

Again, the confession is not necessarily what convicts this person. If you read my post, you'd understand.
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Kinda convenient how the video cuts out about half way through...[/quote]

Background: Asa Eslocker was filming people walking in and out of a hotel the DNC was using as a base during the Democratic National Convention last year.

My point was: if the police are pushing you into traffic and will assault you while being filmed by national news, what do think cops will do to you while you're in a police station without video cameras rolling?

There wasn't a stolen car, a high speed chase, brawl with officers and multiple taser discharges to Mr. Eslocker before the video started.

As far as updates ... HMM. I couldn't find any of note. Certainly, the cops weren't fired. Mr. Eslocker probably had a court date after he bailed himself out.
 
So why did she admit to doing anything even if a lawyer wasn't there? Unless they have electrodes connected to my nuts, I'm not admitting a damn thing. What did they do to make her break? Bring in the Stockton High football team? Why didn't she just sit there and clam up? Yes, you're tired but it's not like you're gonna get back to school the next day after you've been arrested on suspicion of sleeping with a student.
 
Unfortunately, her lawyer has instructed her to not discuss the case with anyone - friends, family, guy next to her in line at the deli, no one. My wife went and spent another couple of hours with our friend at her house yesterday and they just watched DVDs of LOST and talked about other stuff. She did tell my wife that once she's able to take the stand and tell her side of the story, that she is confident that she will be exonerated. Her trial date is one week from today, so I guess I won't really know much more until then.
 
[quote name='rickshankshaw']Excuse me. I was talking about about real life. Not Woulda/Coulda/Shoulda-land.[/quote]

Okay? The law doesnt work that way.
 
[quote name='depascal22']So why did she admit to doing anything even if a lawyer wasn't there? Unless they have electrodes connected to my nuts, I'm not admitting a damn thing. What did they do to make her break? Bring in the Stockton High football team? Why didn't she just sit there and clam up? Yes, you're tired but it's not like you're gonna get back to school the next day after you've been arrested on suspicion of sleeping with a student.[/quote]

You're smarter than that.

BTW, the below is hypothetical, couldn't possibly happen in the United States
:lol:
and in no way a theory of what happened.

...

You don't have to pound on somebody to make them break.

Take this.

metalchair_jayson.jpg


Remove the front and back cross supports under the seat.

Make the suspect sit under the chair like this.

ShowImage.aspx


Sit in the chair sideways similar to the picture, but with your feet apart touching the suspect's elbows.

sittwist1_L.jpg


Proceed to describe prison life to the suspect for a few hours.

Compliment the suspect's physical appearance.

Confide in the suspect about being sexually aroused.

In the presence of the suspect, ask a partner to search vice for certain items such as long adjustable shackles, a ball gag, condoms and a bucket of diluted bleach.

Creepy, huh?
 
[quote name='help1']Okay? The law doesnt work that way.[/quote]

The law doesn't have to. That's the point. People aren't computers where if you write a law on a wall people will follow it exactly to the letter. At least in real life. Maybe that's why they invented jails.
 
She looks pretty guilty, and an admission of guilt is huge. If she were a guy, she'd already be convicted by now!

However... those folks who think the cops can't cheat a confession out of you are simply flat-out wrong. One of my first cases at the public defender's office featured TWO lengthy, teary confessions to the same one-man crime. Somehow the first confessor knew every little detail about the crime's commission, even though two years later another man's DNA tested positive to the crime. The latter man confessed immediately when questioned.

There's no way the first guy did it... watching the confessions back to back, it's clear he was tired, weak-willed, and led by the nose to admitting something he didn't do. The second guy emotionally collapsed on camera, and it was clear he sat on that guilt for two years. The only possible explanation for the first confession was the police baited the guy into the confession... and it happens all the time.

Is the OP's friend weak-willed enough to confess? Apparently... or she's guilty. Sucks either way.
 
They could've done all that, FoC. I think they went the other route.

Some people break without any nudging. They get bored of being in a interrogation room and think a confession will make everything all better. It's not that the cops make any threats at all but they sit you in a room without windows or clocks and it makes people go crazy.

Instead of threatening, they usually make promises that it will be all better as soon as you come clean. This will all go away as soon as we get your "statement". Don't you want to go back and sleep in your bed tonight? Don't you want an ice cold cup of water? They say that as they hand you a luke warm glass of water with something floating in it. We'll tell the DA to go light on you if you just stop wasting everyone's time. Your boyfriend has been waiting outside for hours and he's starting to get tired out there. Can't you consider him?
 
[quote name='bburpee']She looks pretty guilty, and an admission of guilt is huge. If she were a guy, she'd already be convicted by now!

However... those folks who think the cops can't cheat a confession out of you are simply flat-out wrong. One of my first cases at the public defender's office featured TWO lengthy, teary confessions to the same one-man crime. Somehow the first confessor knew every little detail about the crime's commission, even though two years later another man's DNA tested positive to the crime. The latter man confessed immediately when questioned.

There's no way the first guy did it... watching the confessions back to back, it's clear he was tired, weak-willed, and led by the nose to admitting something he didn't do. The second guy emotionally collapsed on camera, and it was clear he sat on that guilt for two years. The only possible explanation for the first confession was the police baited the guy into the confession... and it happens all the time.

Is the OP's friend weak-willed enough to confess? Apparently... or she's guilty. Sucks either way.[/QUOTE]

I was battered into admitting that I committed plagiarism in the 7th grade even though I honestly didn't. I wrote a great and detailed book report as I did the whole thing the day before while skimming through the book. It took my teacher a week and a half and made me sit in class for an hour through lunch , pissed off and confused. I admitted when I was at my lowest. She never took the time to notice that I was the best and probably most skilled writer In our class. I hated that wretched teacher and school. But I'm a soph. In HS now , and that is an old story.
 
[quote name='fazfznz']I was battered into admitting that I committed plagiarism in the 7th grade even though I honestly didn't. I wrote a great and detailed book report as I did the whole thing the day before while skimming through the book. It took my teacher a week and a half and made me sit in class for an hour through lunch , pissed off and confused. I admitted when I was at my lowest. She never took the time to notice that I was the best and probably most skilled writer In our class. I hated that wretched teacher and school. But I'm a soph. In HS now , and that is an old story.[/QUOTE]

Uh, do you have parents or someone that you could tell about this? This seems a little excessive for suspected 7th grade plagarism. At the very least, I would be visiting the principal, superintendent, school board, local press, whomever else until I got the story out and the teacher disciplined.

If someone did this to my kid, they wouldn't be in the job long enough to make the same mistake twice.
 
[quote name='javeryh']If you think the police locked her in a room for hours with no food or water and wouldn't let her sleep until she admitted it then you watch too much TV.[/QUOTE]

Uggh, I can't find the story I want to prove you wrong. But, long story short, a lady was locked in an interrogation room for a few hours with no food or water, and was forced to give false evidence to convict somebody of a crime. I heard about this like 3 years ago because she finally came forward and admitted it, and the guy was released from prison after years of being innocent.
 
[quote name='Access_Denied']Uggh, I can't find the story I want to prove you wrong. But, long story short, a lady was locked in an interrogation room for a few hours with no food or water, and was forced to give false evidence to convict somebody of a crime. I heard about this like 3 years ago because she finally came forward and admitted it, and the guy was released from prison after years of being innocent.[/quote]


why would anyone do that... freaking weak. I would go back to prison from beating on that person that convicted me.
 
[quote name='fazfznz']I was battered into admitting that I committed plagiarism in the 7th grade even though I honestly didn't. I wrote a great and detailed book report as I did the whole thing the day before while skimming through the book. It took my teacher a week and a half and made me sit in class for an hour through lunch , pissed off and confused. I admitted when I was at my lowest. She never took the time to notice that I was the best and probably most skilled writer In our class. I hated that wretched teacher and school. But I'm a soph. In HS now , and that is an old story.[/quote]

That's Terrible. You should go back and tell the principal and the teacher now. That will relieve the old anger, and it reaffirms that you were telling the truth.
 
I like to move on. I have a great way of converting my anger as motivation in sports or venting in writing among other things. But hey, that's life ! your always gonna get Shaq-FUed one way or another. I've been through a lot of tough things in my life and old school. In 6th grade of the same school I got in trouble for messing with the guys. Doing guy stuff like swearing and I was singing a personalized remixed diss song of Britney Spear's "oops i did it again". It was meant to be a joke and all the guys interpreted it that way but when my teacher heard about it, she was pissed. I refused to write the song on a paper and I got in trouble which I knew was gonna happen anyways. She made me clean the hallway and classroom for two fucking months!! It was a demoralizing and a sad experience. It was hard for me to fight back tears everday because I paid the school to give me an education, not to be a janitor like I'm a fucking immigrant or something. In the end I concluded from all of that and another moment in my life Is that: One of the Saddest Sights to see is a Man Breaking Down and Crying. But it is moments like these that shape our life.

Sorry for any bad grammar, this was written on my iPhone.
 
[quote name='fazfznz']I like to move on. I have a great way of converting my anger as motivation in sports or venting in writing among other things. But hey, that's life ! your always gonna get Shaq-FUed one way or another. I've been through a lot of tough things in my life and old school. In 6th grade of the same school I got in trouble for messing with the guys. Doing guy stuff like swearing and I was singing a personalized remixed diss song of Britney Spear's "oops i did it again". It was meant to be a joke and all the guys interpreted it that way but when my teacher heard about it, she was pissed. I refused to write the song on a paper and I got in trouble which I knew was gonna happen anyways. She made me clean the hallway and classroom for two fucking months!! It was a demoralizing and a sad experience. It was hard for me to fight back tears everday because I paid the school to give me an education, not to be a janitor like I'm a fucking immigrant or something. In the end I concluded from all of that and another moment in my life Is that: One of the Saddest Sights to see is a Man Breaking Down and Crying. But it is moments like these that shape our life.

Sorry for any bad grammar, this was written on my iPhone.[/QUOTE]
Man, that sucks. That's even worse than the plagiarism incident.

Isn't school great? :roll:
 
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