I am confused and Dissoriented, I have nothing left,sad day

ChrisXE

ChrisXE

Banned
Me and this girl been going out for close to 2 years, and Engaged. I think I blew it, she told me like 2 hours ago at my house, that we cannot last any longer due to a habit of mine. I feel hurt,torn and sad, none that I ever felt before. When she told me tonight "She fell out of love tonight" I was crushed. We were engaged and everything, getting an apartment late august. My own joy destroyed my love, videogames. She said I pay to much attention to videogames, and Cheapassgamer(yes she knows this site by name). I am so confused, just dont know what to do. Pleas save rude comments for someone who cared....Im sure Im not the first person to this happen to.
 
or you could quit going to this site and ease up on the games. She has to be worth somthing if you got engaged and were getting an apartment.
 
Pretty ironic that she left you because you paid more attention to videogames than her, and the first place you go to is a videogame site...

I would say that its not the games per se, just you not paying any attention to her.
 
Talk to her. It may not be too late. You definitely got to pay attention to her man. All the videogames in the world couldn't make it up if I lost my wife...
 
[quote name='ChrisXE']trust I pay plenty to her, but she doesent give me any ME time(ex internet,videogames,friends)[/quote]

Clearly you get some ME time if she's complaining you spend too much of it on here and on video games...
 
It hurts, but dont know if I can kick a game habit thats been with me since atari when i was 2, but I can cut back on it
 
BUT she kept the ring, dammit hopefulyl she at least give the ring back if she broke up with me(400$) i can use on sumthing else
 
aww, that really sucks, too bad my gf loves to game with me, all kinda ways. but if shes that type of person who wont give you space, think about when your married. its like being on a leash, even worse, a choker. your the one who shouldnt be taking this as a bad thing, let it go, because i know they will be otehrs willing to ENJOY even videogameing with you. sorry to her what happen man.
 
[quote name='ChrisXE']BUT she kept the ring, dammit hopefulyl she at least give the ring back if she broke up with me(400$) i can use on sumthing else[/quote]

games?
 
that really sucks man. if she is important enough to you then you should at least cut back a whole lot on the games and this site (my girl likes games too,that is why i am allowed to play them as much as i do,cause i am playing them with her).
 
Hey, I just registered to reply to this.

I'm a female who's been pretty heavily addicted to mmorpg's and muds in the past, and dealt with dealing with a relationship at the same time so I know where you're coming from. I was frustrated with my first serious relationships because it would cut into my playing time a lot, and when we finally broke up, I was glad to be able to play as much as I wanted to when I wanted to. I did put aside time for him though. With my current boyfriend, I play when he's at work or when he's gone to sleep.

Also my best friend's boyfriend was really into games and he would neglect her, and so I got her perspective of being hurt by his game playing.

What I think you should do if you really want to be with her, is to tell her htat you want to change things, and I'd suggest trying to see if she'd be willing to schedule a certain time each day/night(every night from 9-12), or perhaps one or 2 days a week where you can play as much as you want to without her being upset, the rest of the time you will spend with her. That way you can have time to do what you enjoy, while she knows that that time is your time so she will be expecting it, and she gets you for the rest of the time. It's less hurtful when you know when to expect not being able to spend time with someone, rather than when you're wanting to have a nice night with them and being let down all the time when they decide they want to do something else. I think scheduling play time could work.

Well, good luck, hopefully things work out for the best- If things don't work out with her, at least you can maybe look towards finding someone else who accepts your habits, or even will play games with you.
 
A girl who can't except you for who you are isn't some one you want to marry anyways. That said talk to her see if you could include her in some way to your hobby. My gf has become quite the gamer based mostly on me getting her into rpgs and some online gaming, now she is all excited for games to come out its pretty cool. If it doesn't work out chalk it up to experience and move on just make sure you do move on dwelling on it won't help you.
 
Well, if I may make two slightly contradictory suggestions:

1) It's important to find a girl who understands that being together doesn't mean being joined at the hip. If that's not what your girl was like, then it's almost inevitable that this would have happened over something else. I've know and dated many girls who felt like I didn't pay them enough attention if I didn't spend EVERY waking free hour with them. It's suffocating, and the problem is with them, not you.

But...

2) Always remember: "Everything in moderation." We all love our games, but they're meaningless if the rest of your life (job/school/girl/family) doesn't provide some context.

Hope this pans out however you want it to.
 
Hey man don't give up. Arrange for a meeting and maybe things can work out. Admit to your mistakes and amend them. Don't give up man.
 
Chances are if you guys are engaged you still have a chance. However, if you put off calling her she'll think that you don't want to make an effort to get back together. Contact her as soon as you can. Talk to her, maybe apologize for not being there when she needed you to be. If this just happened today there is most likely still time for you. Getting engaged and an apartment together is a huge thing. She might even be reconciling her decision right now, but you have to call her or you could miss out on what could be a great marriage in the future.

Make your first priority trying to talk to her and reason things out, and cut off on the video games just a little bit to devote more time to her, or play more multiplayer games that maybe she'll like and invite her to play (I'd stay away from competitive though, co-op is best :D). With some time she might just get into games and then you can start playing again like before. Just make sure to not ignore her or to invite her every once in a while.

But first make sure that you communicate to her that you're sorry (even if you're not) because that will probably mean a lot to her and I can't imagine someone breaking up for such a silly reason unless you were completely devoted to nothing but games.

Sorry about your loss, that must really, really suck. But you have to contact her ASAP or else things may never patch up.
 
fuck videogames dude. If I was engaged and this happened, I'd simply toss all my games in the trash for her -- well, except for maybe the latest football games. Gotta have those.
 
i'd have to say if she can't take you for being a gamer, find a girl who will, maybe even one who will play them with you.


and dustyeff, i just read your comment: thats pretty stupid. love if fleeting, but games last a lot longer! in this day and age, people can't stand each other for that long... but if you ever trash your stuff, at least let me know what rubbisn bin you put them in. :lol:
 
its all about making her want you and her come back. Pimp yourself out. make more money get your own apartment (alone). buy a fat ass car new clothes hair cut, TAN,TAN. Try not to mention videogames around her, i know its hard, or CAGer. It will take time to do this but in the end you can have her and own her where she's on your doorstep wanting to chill in your new apartment and when u answer the door your new gf will be in the on the sofa with an xbox controller in her hand and u will then slam the door in this girls face saying ooh im sorry im playing xbox now with my girl dont bump into my bmw on your way out the alarm is sensitive.
 
I don't understand. Why is everyone suggesting he go back grovelling like a dog? You go back and have a sit down. You discuss everything about your relationship into sickening minutia (Women seem to love doing this). Through this honest discussion, you will know whether or not you actually want to continue this relationship and in the future get married.

If not, cut your losses. Losing a 400 dollar ring is a lot better than half of your assets. Dumping out of an engagement is much better than waking up in a couple of years and realizing that you are in a loveless marriage.
 
its all about making her want you and her come back.
Why? Unless you are actually in love with that person more than all others and all things, there's no reason to. People are replacable, except in the very rare situations.


Pimp yourself out.
That's just wasteful. Pimping yourself out suggest a wasteful use of money and gaudy, tasteless, yet expensive crap, just because it's expensive. True connesseiurs know that money is best spent on elegant, understated things, not brash, show crap. Ask any of the old money in the Hamptons. They'll be happy to go on endlessly about the nouveau riche
and thier incessant need to "pimp thier shit out".

make more money get your own apartment (alone).

That would suggest the only thing the girl cares about is money.
If that were the case, she'd be nothing but a low grade whore... If whores were his thing, he could afford a much better one for much less money..
renting would be much better than leasing in this situation.


buy a fat ass car
Why? To impress a whore?


new clothes hair cut, TAN,TAN.
Yep, this is obviously a deep, spiritual connection here. Throw around money and enhance your physical appearance. Can you get just a little more superficial?



Try not to mention videogames around her, i know its hard, or CAGer. It will take time to do this but in the end you can have her and own her where she's on your doorstep wanting to chill in your new apartment and when u answer the door your new gf will be in the on the sofa with an xbox controller in her hand and u will then slam the door in this girls face saying ooh im sorry im playing xbox now with my girl dont bump into my bmw on your way out the alarm is sensitive.

When you're done with your little fantasy world, I'd bet a couple of financial planners and consultants would love to bitch-slap you just out of principle. I think the men of the cloth, women actually looking for romance and a couple more irate groups would be queuing right behind them.
 
[quote name='lord_ebonstone']There's really only one solution left at this point:

Get her drunk and put it in her butt.[/quote]

Ditto what he said!
 
[quote name='ajh2298'][quote name='lord_ebonstone']There's really only one solution left at this point:

Get her drunk and put it in her butt.[/quote]

Ditto what he said![/quote]






LOL But seriously I agree with Jsweeny, there are a lot of go back begging posts and of course the throw away your games post but if she left you over some games without even trying to work it out i'm thinking there is a deeper problem and sooner or later she would have dumped you for something just as petty.
 
i say you should tell her you quit... hide you games somewhere.. get married, then bustem out and be like WHAT NOW BITCH!?!
 
[quote name='Cracka']i say you should tell her you quit... hide you games somewhere.. get married, then bustem out and be like WHAT NOW BITCH!?![/quote]

That would be obvious... she leaves, takes half of them, and then burns them in front of your house/apartment, laughing uproariously.
 
[quote name='Cracka']i say you should tell her you quit... hide you games somewhere.. get married, then bustem out and be like WHAT NOW BITCH!?![/quote]

That's awesome. When I first met my girlfriend (whom I now share a house with and we are going on 4 years), she asked me if I played Playstation, because her ex husband played games all the time, and she hated them. I at the time said, well, a little, but I'm not obsessed with them. Which at the time was true. Now, 4 years later, I am totally obsessed with collecting systems and games and she hates every second of it. But its about sacrifices, she has hobbies I don't care about or like, but I am in no way going to say, "stop liking Harry Potter, you're 31 for gods sake, grow up!" because I have respect for her and what she likes, even if I don't like it. Just like she would never say "stop liking video games, you're 29 for gods sake, grow up!".

A relationship is based on a mutual respect and if that's not there, there is no relationship. Move on dude, don't change who you are to please someone else, because in the long run, you will be miserable and resent her for it. Other girls are out there.
 
what a surprise here's Jsweeney again with his opinions on other people's opinions. A girl disses you then you focus on yourself and make other girls want you then your girl will take notice. You don't chase after a girl that just dissed you it gives her all the power and she will push you away more. Jsweeney you are so full of bullshit rightousness and principals, shows you have never lived in the real world
 
Here's another perspective. With all that's being said about how she needs the attention and you should try to find a way to patch the torn relationship, maybe she's found a greener pasture on the other side of the hill if you know what I mean. This might be just an excuse for her to feel less guilt for screwing someone else. In the past 2 years that you've been with her, she should have either recognized or learnt to get used to the fact that you're a videogame addict. This is your longest and greatest passion that's part of who you are. For god's sake, you've been this way since the Atari days. Anyhow, you've come to a point where you have to choose which passion is more important to you at this point in time of your life: the passion for her or the passion for video games. Just be honest to yourself, and you won't regret your decision. Loosing her is not the end of the world. There's plenty of chics out there that are more compatible to you and dig your habits. Don't beat down on yourself too much. It's just might be a guilt trip switch on her part. This is not meant to be conducive to you getting back with her, just another angle to look at so that you don't have to feel so guilty about the things you've loved doing all your life. Chics come and go, but loosing yourself every time they go is not an option. Just my 2 cents. Good luck man!
 
lol was it an engagement ring or one of those idiotic 'promise' rings?

also, i can't even fathom people who get engaged without living with each other first. it always ends badly when (if) they ever do get married.[/i]
 
ok, my turn to put in an opinion. Love is a very powerful thing that transends boundries and can make the most logical person on this planet into a blithering idiot. It has the power to bring down mountains and destroy nations. That being said, would some one who 'loves' you just fall out of love w/o giving you a warning or at least attempting to tell you? Or do you truly believe that you have ignored her that much? Like some one said earlier, everything in moderation.

However, question yourself. You say you still want to meet w/ her and thats all good. However, you have to take into consideration how easily it seems she 'fell out of love' w/ you. That is something that does not happen easily. I still have phantom feelings of love for my ex and we broke up over a year ago. Perhaps she was looking for an excuse and took this as a way out. Maybe not, i don't know. In the end you will do what YOU want to do. Just be sure that you're looking out for your own intrests as well as the person you care for/love.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']its all about making her want you and her come back.
Why? Unless you are actually in love with that person more than all others and all things, there's no reason to. People are replacable, except in the very rare situations.

UUH dumbass yes you want a girl to want you isn't that the point, who wants to pine over a girl that doesnt want them
Pimp yourself out.
That's just wasteful. Pimping yourself out suggest a wasteful use of money and gaudy, tasteless, yet expensive crap, just because it's expensive. True connesseiurs know that money is best spent on elegant, understated things, not brash, show crap. Ask any of the old money in the Hamptons. They'll be happy to go on endlessly about the nouveau riche
and thier incessant need to "pimp thier shit out".

Yes being successful with a non piece car, an education and nice clothes does tend to bring girls better than that viewtiful jow shirt fat computer gut and pale i play games all day skin.
make more money get your own apartment (alone).

That would suggest the only thing the girl cares about is money.
If that were the case, she'd be nothing but a low grade whore... If whores were his thing, he could afford a much better one for much less money..
renting would be much better than leasing in this situation.

He was going to get a place with her at the end of august right soooo still get the place himself. Watch how fast she comes back. Yes having sex in an apartment compared to next to your moms room can tend to keep a girl longer(maybe not his situation but applies in general)

buy a fat ass car
Why? To impress a whore?

Who says only whores like nice cars its small down the ladder of needful things he should do but it will make his confidence greater and when he drives by her, what her head wont turn?
new clothes hair cut, TAN,TAN.
Yep, this is obviously a deep, spiritual connection here. Throw around money and enhance your physical appearance. Can you get just a little more superficial?
yea the world is superficial grow up


Try not to mention videogames around her, i know its hard, or CAGer. It will take time to do this but in the end you can have her and own her where she's on your doorstep wanting to chill in your new apartment and when u answer the door your new gf will be in the on the sofa with an xbox controller in her hand and u will then slam the door in this girls face saying ooh im sorry im playing xbox now with my girl dont bump into my bmw on your way out the alarm is sensitive.

When you're done with your little fantasy world, I'd bet a couple of financial planners and consultants would love to bitch-slap you just out of principle. I think the men of the cloth, women actually looking for romance and a couple more irate groups would be queuing right behind them.[/quote]

whatever corny ass whose side are you on the males or all the girls out there that diss guys. These things will help how he feels and will work 100% if applied correctly. Its all about taking away that empty feeling he has. Women looking for romance huh? lol wow fantasy world. Romance to women equals $$ you just contradicted yourself. So i guess Romance costs what under a $10 dolla game on Valentines day. Keep throwing down that coat on rain puddles for girls Jsweeney all you'll end up with is a dirty jacket.
 
Yeah, I would not be calling her and begging her to come back, that's just lame. Soon it would be that you can't have any friends outside of her either. I also agree with the guy that said this might be her way to try and end the relationship because she found someone else, and doesn't have the guts to blame it on herself.
 
How old are you? If you are under 23 and this is your first really serious relationship . . . and she won't compromise, then let it pass. You can learn and grow from this experience.

If you are older than 25, then you should know better.

How old is she? It sounds possible that she is a little freaked out(conscious or not) at your level of committment and found a way of testing you or is finding a way out.

The other thing is you should take a good look in the mirror . . . how much gaming (and CAGing) are you doing??? You might not salvage this relationship but balance out your life anyway.

MOST IMPORTANT . . . don't listen to anyone on this site (including me). You have got to do what is right for you. Make up with her if you can, cut back on games if they are an obstacle in your life, but most important do what is right . . . you will never regret it if you follow your heart.
 
I would say that she didn't leave you because of videogames/cheapassgamer, that's just the thing she used as the scapegoat.

Chances are she has been thinking about breaking it off for a long time now and the videogame thing was there and she took advantage of it. I know it is hard but you are lucky that it happened now before there was any substantial money involved or after you were married.

I've been married 11 years today (it's our anniversary and I'm looking @ GAG, hehe) and been a gamer all my life. I have spent countless hours playing games/looking on the internet during our marriage and not once has my wife ever complained about it. She has complained about uncountable other things but not games. If you have a significant other who can't deal with your gaming (or any other quirk) and you are not totally and unreasonably obsessed, then that person is not for you. Time to move on.

Oh, and since she broke off the engagement, she is obligated by law to return the ring. If you broke off the engagement, then she would get to keep the ring. Come on I know some of you watched the people's court, haha.

Good luck to you, friend. Everything will turn out well for you in the end...
 
[quote name='SpookyD'][quote name='ChrisXE']BUT she kept the ring, dammit hopefulyl she at least give the ring back if she broke up with me(400$) i can use on sumthing else[/quote]

games?[/quote]

ZING!!! Gotta laugh at the cruel irony there...
 
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