i don't have any guy friends

A

applesauce

CAG Veteran
Feedback
2 (100%)
I'm in my mid 20s and had guy friends in high school and we hung out a lot but after high school we (or maybe just me) drifted apart and now I only have like one guy in the address book in my cell phone and he was a dude I worked with. I have good amount of girl friends and girls I date and whatnot, but it's totally different with girls.

How do I make more guy friends without comin off gay? I can't just go up to guys and be like "hey you wanna be friends". He'd think I was either gay or a weirdo. I really miss hanging out with guys, playing bball, watching sports and other guy stuff. I was thinking of joining some kinda basketball league or a similar aged activity group of some sort. I have no idea...help
 
I actually know what you mean. But for me I've stayed in touch with my guy friends from high school and we still hang out a lot. But in college I didn't go out looking for female friends but throughout my 4 years I really only made female friends. I don't know if it's a ratio thing since supposedly more females go to college. Or maybe we sub consciously feel threatened in some way by other guys and tend to just not even bother trying to be friends. In my case any of the guys I talked to in college all just came across as stuck up pricks. Anyway enough with the psychoanalysis.

But then in the grand scheme of things the gender of your friends shouldn't matter too much. As long as you like hanging out with them whats the difference? I mean you could always try to get your female friends into doing "guy stuff" like watching sports etc. I don't know how that would go over though.

As far as advice goes don't judge people before you know them. I'm sure your female friends have guy friends that you might come across when you hang out with them. Try and make friends with them. It shouldn't be too hard in a group environment. OR I guess you could look on craigslist or something and join a club or something. Anyway I don't have much advice to offer you. I guess just be happy being around people you like the company of some people don't even have that.
 
Become a regular somewhere. Join a gym or a sports league or something. Take on some random part time job and meet different people there.
 
[quote name='Soujiro_Seta']I actually know what you mean. But for me I've stayed in touch with my guy friends from high school and we still hang out a lot. But in college I didn't go out looking for female friends but throughout my 4 years I really only made female friends. I don't know if it's a ratio thing since supposedly more females go to college. Or maybe we sub consciously feel threatened in some way by other guys and tend to just not even bother trying to be friends. In my case any of the guys I talked to in college all just came across as stuck up pricks. Anyway enough with the psychoanalysis.

But then in the grand scheme of things the gender of your friends shouldn't matter too much. As long as you like hanging out with them whats the difference? I mean you could always try to get your female friends into doing "guy stuff" like watching sports etc. I don't know how that would go over though.

As far as advice goes don't judge people before you know them. I'm sure your female friends have guy friends that you might come across when you hang out with them. Try and make friends with them. It shouldn't be too hard in a group environment. OR I guess you could look on craigslist or something and join a club or something. Anyway I don't have much advice to offer you. I guess just be happy being around people you like the company of some people don't even have that.[/QUOTE]

I never thought of parlaying a guy friend of one of my girl friend's into being a friend of mine. That could definitely work.

I also agree with you about maybe trying "guy stuff" with some girl friends, but I think it's important for us to make time to just hang with other guys. I think more often than not guys are more open and forthcoming when they're with a few of their 'bros'. Throw in a couple chicks into that group and the dynamics tend to change. It's just how we're wired.

That was good advice, thanks.
 
[quote name='applesauce']I'm in my mid 20s and had guy friends in high school and we hung out a lot but after high school we (or maybe just me) drifted apart and now I only have like one guy in the address book in my cell phone and he was a dude I worked with. I have good amount of girl friends and girls I date and whatnot, but it's totally different with girls.

How do I make more guy friends without comin off gay? I can't just go up to guys and be like "hey you wanna be friends". He'd think I was either gay or a weirdo. I really miss hanging out with guys, playing bball, watching sports and other guy stuff. I was thinking of joining some kinda basketball league or a similar aged activity group of some sort. I have no idea...help[/QUOTE]


a movie has already been made.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1155056/
 
Hey wassup? I know how u feel about the friend thing. As I got out of high school and me and my best friend drifted apart i kinda gave up on having any male friends cuz its like you either knew them since u were young, or u just end up without any
 
[quote name='dothog']Put up fliers (at the library, the grocery store, "normal" places) for circle jerks.[/QUOTE]


No no. You need to wait at least a week until you invite a friend to a circle jerk. You don't want to come off too strong too fast. There's nothing wrong with attending one with complete strangers though. No need to make friends.
 
Yeah that's a common problem. I had a lot of guy friends through middle school and the first part of high school. Then once I started dating I lost touch with a lot of them.

College I had more guy friends, but the last couple years I lived off campus with my girlfriend at the time so kind of drifted again. Grad school was mostly female friends and hanging with the girlfriend. Had a couple really great guy friends though that I still keep in touch with--biggest problem there was my program was 75% or more female which seems odd for criminology. But from what I've seen in other CJ grad programs that's pretty typical.

It's really just a problem with getting older, people get married etc. and are spending all of their time at work and with their families. People move around--i.e. lose your high school friends when you go to college, lose the college friends when you move for grad school and work etc.

So the older you get the less friend-focused life becomes in general, and for some reason it seems to work out that losing guy friends tends to happen more than female friends. For me it was just circumstance of my grad program's gender make up, spending too much time with who I was dating and losing touch with guy friends over the years etc.
 
guys dont ask guys to be their friend it either happens after hanging out or it dont. hit up a sports/titty bar sometime and maybe youll get lucky there or hey theres always church. whatever you do dont go up to any guy and ask to be friends and for your own safety if you go past any places full of men with a rainbow visible anywhere keep on going because youll just end up in a bad situation.

btw if you happen to be one of those guys with tons of chick friends wtf are you complaining about?enjoy it because if youre smart you could turn that into some amazing.
 
Sounds like you put hoes over bros for way too long my friend. Theres gotta be some balance. If your woman wont let you have your guy time, its time to find a new woman.

I am also in my mid-20's, but I've stayed friends with all of my buddies that I grew up with. I balance my guy time and my girlfriend time. It work best when your girlfriend gets along with your friends and your friends girlfriends so you can all spend time together.

But as for places to meet some friends, I'd suggest not trying a stripclub, club or bar since most guys are just there to hit on girls. The last thing they want to do is talk to a random guy.

Maybe local basketball courts (or other sporting venues) you could try to get in on a game. If you get in on one ask them if they play there often and if you can meet them to play regularly. Hopefully you can build up a relationship and hang out off the court. It will help if you dont suck. I'd also try a local sports bar maybe.

I also like the idea if you could possibly have some of your female friends introduce you to some of their guy friends. Maybe someones having people over and you can meet them that way. The girls should be a nice way to break the ice.

I hope this helps. Good luck.
 
[quote name='VertigoMotel']I seem to hangout with guys way more then girls. I just get along with them better.[/QUOTE]
So you hang out with more guys, and then you hang out with girls?

...

Ohhhh... I see what you meant.
 
[quote name='darkslime']At least you have friends![/QUOTE]

hey I'll be your friend add me on xboxlive or psn my gamertags are under my name dude
 
[quote name='King J Gatz']hey I'll be your friend add me on xboxlive or psn my gamertags are under my name dude[/QUOTE]

Why "iz"n't you "ill" on PSN?
 
Really, I think this happens to most guys, I almost wouldn't worry about it. The thing is, you have guy friends in high school and college. But, once you start dating a girl seriously, and get married (which guys do in their 20's for the most part), you don't hang out with the guys. There might be one guy you hang out with often, or a bunch of guys you see on the rare occasion, but that's really it. Your other social time is going to be with other couples.

So, your not alone. I wouldn't worry too much about this, because, once you get a woman, everything is going to sort itself through anyway.
 
Guys with only girl friends are either gay or closet gay (Metro).
Also; the only reasons anyone associates with the opposite sex is to bone them. So go for it OP!
 
i'd say my female:male friend ratio is probably about 5:1. but my two closest friends are male. i think that's pretty normal for both guys and girls -- have a couple really close same-sex friends and then many not-as-close opposite-sex friends.
 
I'm in my 30s and havent really had any 'friends' since high school. I'm not that much of a social person. And what am I going to do with a guy friend? Drink beer with him at the local bar?
My interests are video games, listening to music and reading. These are primarily solitare activities that you don't really need someone else to partake in.
 
[quote name='manthing']Why "iz"n't you "ill" on PSN?[/QUOTE]

I had the jgatz on psn first. I always use that as my handle but some how which I couldnt believe some one else on xboxlive had Jgatz. I was pissed
 
[quote name='eldergamer']I'm in my 30s and havent really had any 'friends' since high school. I'm not that much of a social person. And what am I going to do with a guy friend? Drink beer with him at the local bar?
My interests are video games, listening to music and reading. These are primarily solitare activities that you don't really need someone else to partake in.[/QUOTE]
I totally agree with this. I still have my so called high school friends but they are a pain in the ass to 'hang' out with. It seems that they hate their wives/significant and kids that they are just escaping from them. I do socialize but mainly do the couple thing since I'm a married man w/out kids and I prefer it that way.
 
I used to have two bestfriends, a male and a female, the male became my boyfriend over time, but my female friend is still be best friend although sadly we are drifting apart.

I still hangout with guys a lot more often then girls.
 
Now that you're actually thinking about it, it could be a little difficult. It's just one of those things that happen when you don't think about it, like finding a good partner. But anyway...

If you only recently realized your desire for more male friends, I'd say try not to do anything with that specific intention. Just do things that you would normally have an interest in doing on your own. If you're going to college, I know how difficult it can be to make friends depending on your major. Try to form a study group. No matter what the subject, most people are pretty willing to get together for that. Before or, more efficiently, after the study session, suggest a place to chill out if you're not already there. Drinking whether it be alcohol, coffee, or a smoothie after a study session, although not exactly the best thing to do academically can be good socially.

I don't really have any suggestions for the workplace since I myself suck at making friends with co-workers. Maybe after a long day/night you can invite people out for drinks... or a run to TGIFridays or something...

I guess you just have to get out there somehow. Don't focus on finding male friends. Just get more friends. The male ones will come along naturally.

If anyone has criticism or what I've said, perhaps things that might actually be detrimental to him, please speak up. I'm definitely far from being socially adept
 
[quote name='applesauce']I'm in my mid 20s and had guy friends in high school and we hung out a lot but after high school we (or maybe just me) drifted apart and now I only have like one guy in the address book in my cell phone and he was a dude I worked with. I have good amount of girl friends and girls I date and whatnot, but it's totally different with girls.

How do I make more guy friends without comin off gay? I can't just go up to guys and be like "hey you wanna be friends". He'd think I was either gay or a weirdo. I really miss hanging out with guys, playing bball, watching sports and other guy stuff. I was thinking of joining some kinda basketball league or a similar aged activity group of some sort. I have no idea...help[/QUOTE]

You need to make some flyers to let guys know your looking for some friends. But you don't wanna come off as gay so think of real manly activities (beer, mma, etc). It should probably read something to the effect of "looking for boy friends to get drunk and wrestle. no homo." Throw in no homo at the end, it's what gay guys do when they're being blatantly gay but are still too scared to admit they're gay.
 
Been about a year and a half since I made this thread... still don't have any. I have to join some clubs or something. Have to be proactive about it... it's not like a bro is gonna come knocking up on my door.
 
[quote name='applesauce']Been about a year and a half since I made this thread... still don't have any. I have to join some clubs or something. Have to be proactive about it... it's not like a bro is gonna come knocking up on my door.[/QUOTE]


if he does expect him to stick it in your pooper.
 
[quote name='lordwow']I'm sure Freud would have something to say about this.[/QUOTE]

The man who was obssesed with incest and almost always had a long fat cigar in his mouth, he would have no room to talk.
 
Don't worry soon your women friends will start getting engaged and married and you can get drunk with their husbands.

BTW I'm not kidding.


Otherwise you can go join the local MMA or start playing card games.
 
My best friends have always been girls. I think most guys suck. Girls will hug you when you need a hug. Good luck getting that shit from a dude.
 
[quote name='applesauce']I'm in my mid 20s and had guy friends in high school and we hung out a lot but after high school we (or maybe just me) drifted apart and now I only have like one guy in the address book in my cell phone and he was a dude I worked with. I have good amount of girl friends and girls I date and whatnot, but it's totally different with girls.

How do I make more guy friends without comin off gay? I can't just go up to guys and be like "hey you wanna be friends". He'd think I was either gay or a weirdo. I really miss hanging out with guys, playing bball, watching sports and other guy stuff. I was thinking of joining some kinda basketball league or a similar aged activity group of some sort. I have no idea...help[/QUOTE]
Go to a bar, get drunk, watch a football game, and start yelling with the other drunk men.

Or go see Thor.
 
I had an interesting discussion about this very topic once. How do you hit on a guy for friendship?

Oddly enough, the last guy friend I made was while sitting at a bar with another friend. We started talking about the hockey game that was on and ended up being pals.

Otherwise, you probably have a friend who has some other friends. Hang out with those other friends and expand your social circle.

meetup.com
You're probably interested in something and as long as it isn't oral sex with alligators, chances are someone else nearby is too and has started a group.
 
I second meetup.com. My wife used that since she didn't know anyone in the area(since she migrated from NY to PA for me) and after joining one group she has about 10 girlfriends she hangs out with all the time.
 
[quote name='Pookymeister']I second meetup.com. My wife used that since she didn't know anyone in the area(since she migrated from NY to PA for me) and after joining one group she has about 10 girlfriends she hangs out with all the time.[/QUOTE]

Ill pass that link along to my mother. After several years of being over medicated by her doc, she's back to being a functional human being, and looking for some friends.

As for me, the last friends I made were at a convention. Its great because we all have common interests, but it turns out *none* of them are local -- Oregon, Alabama, western Canada -- not exactly people you can go grab a drink with when you live in New York.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top