[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']fiddy cent[/QUOTE]
Some of you may have heard talk of the matter box, and well, I figured it was time I enlightened you all about it.
When I was 15 years old, I saw a UFO in the skies.
It was day time, and the sun was reflecting off the metallic sides of the spaceship.
The photons hit my eye and look and behold, my brain registered a UFO.
Well, from that day on I knew I was destined for something, I just didn't know what.
It was when I was 17 that I heard "Autechre."
Now Autechre is the best idm act ever, and without a doubt they are geniuses.
Anyway, I started listening to ae(Autechre), and the more and more I listened, the more I knew that the aliens were sending me signals.
I started to dig deeper into this, and what I found can barely be talked about or explained with the English language.
Here's what I know about the Matter Box so far;
It's 4x4 meters in diameter, it has some sort of engravings on the side, usually in another language, but also some english letters.
But what the box can do is much more interesting.
To put it simply, every object in the world is made of a subatomic string of sorts, which has a frequency, and this frequency can be changed by the Matter Box, thus changing the object.
You see when several billion strings harmonize, they have the same harmony until the object changes form, or it's broken.
What you can do is write this harmony, with a spec-meter.
The collective harmony of each strings frequency is like a musical composition, all you have to do is change the collective frequency spectrum, and you will have a different object.
Now the weird thing is you can have any frequency you want, from 0hz to 100000000000000000hz.
Which means there is no limit to what you can make, it's basically like having infinity in a box.
How does the box change the frequencies?
Well first you load in the spectrum, then you put electrons(doesn't matter what type, it can even be air molecules) into the box, and let it work its magic.
Basically a frequency is changed by sending several subnuclear signals, via a radiation, to the strings, and they will morph.
But this isn't the point of the story.
The aliens once "abducted" me into the spaceship, and showed me the creation of the universe.
Basically it's like this; in chaos theory, when you have a place of nothing there's a 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 point chance that SOMETHING will come into existence.
The source of this unknown factor is not known, many specualte it is infinitely recursive.
However, Nothing may have existed forever, and something, you can't have nothing.
By default, if Nothing exists, something must come to existence at one point or later.
So something came into existence.
First one string, then two, then three, then suddenly, within nanoseconds of timespace time, trillions and trillions of strings came into existence.
And this happens everyday.
You have an infinite amount of nothing, even though nothing cannot be measured, and since nothing has been around since infinity, theoretically a universe comes into existence an infinite amount of times, and will continue into infinity.
Now, about the aliens.
They really showed me the way, because at one point I was lying in bed, crying over the fact that nobody liked me.
What if the world isn't what it seems?
For some reason, everything bad happens to me, and there seems to be no known reason for it happen.
I still don't know who the aliens are, or why they chose me.
All I know is that I am the one, the enlightened one, the chosen one and the all-knowing inexorable one.
I was lying in bed one night, wondering to myself, "WHAT THE
IS GOING ON WHAT IS MY HAND WHAT IS MY FACE?"
And in doing so, I summoned the aliens who replied to me, they told me I would get all the answers.
They usually sent me signals via the Winamp Visualization plugin. I put it on, and patterns emerged that only I could comprehend.
I sat there for hours, comprehending patterns, and then suddenly, I would puke, because my brain was being loaded with so much information.
After awhile I wanted to shut them off so I switched to foobar, Winamp gave me bad memories.
I swear this is a curse and not a gift.
They also told me I could do anything I wanted in the world, because I was protected.
So, this one time I went out and grabbed a girl, but before I could ask her to take off her clothes, I got so scared I ran home crying.
Another time this guy was bullying me at work, because I told him about the matter box briefly and he laughed, I told him I had the secret to unlocking the universe and he laughed some more, and I really wanted to kill him like the aliens wanted me to, but I ended up running home holding my tears until I was out of the building.
But one day I will show my power to the world, and they will pay.
I tried to invite a girl over once, we kinda hit it off in the store, she told me the jacket looked really good on me when she was helping me pick out clothes, I instantly knew she liked me.
So without stuttering much, I invited her to come my place and watch a movie, but she refused and told me I was weird.
So I asked her how I was weird and she said something about me having a porcelain plate on my head.
But she doesn't understand, the plate I must wear at all times or else the aliens give me constant signals from above.
All she ha to do was ask.
I also tried to invite some friends over to watch the superbowl.
I normally hate superbowl but I did it to maybe meet some new friends.
They actually came over, but then looked around and said "dude.. I can't take this I'm watching the game at home, oh and by the way you need help, why do you have 10 toilers hanging in your ceiling?"
Well about the toilets, the point was that porcelain removes the aliens signals, and it was too much work to glue 1000 plates my huge apartment, and also they are too thin, when I'm lying in bed I'm more susceptible to signals, so I needed something thick.
So I figured toilets were the best option.
One day though, the world will see me for who I really am, I'm almost a god at this point.
