I have a serious question about life and how my body works.

You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]


Seriously, LMFAO.
 
[quote name='Anexanhume']Stop pissing in your mouth.[/QUOTE]

Damn, you beat me to it. Come to think of it, this would make a good riddle.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]

Post of the year.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]

You are the worst person on the site. You are worse than slidecage. You are worse than fire_thief. You are worse than budsmoka. You are worse than Iamthecheapestgamer. You are worse than Moxio. You are worse than DarthPuma. You are worse than the scum of the GGT and the scum of the OTT combined. I hate you. You are a creep. You're fucking weird. You fuck dolls. You fuck dolls. What the fuck. What the fuck are you. I hate you. Please leave. I really really dislike you. You make the board a horrible place to be and thanks to you the FBI probably now has tabs on my computer. You are a bad person. Go away.
 
[quote name='Jesus_S_Preston']You are the worst person on the site. You are worse than slidecage. You are worse than fire_thief. You are worse than budsmoka. You are worse than Iamthecheapestgamer. You are worse than Moxio. You are worse than DarthPuma. You are worse than the scum of the GGT and the scum of the OTT combined. I hate you. You are a creep. You're fucking weird. You fuck dolls. You fuck dolls. What the fuck. What the fuck are you. I hate you. Please leave. I really really dislike you. You make the board a horrible place to be and thanks to you the FBI probably now has tabs on my computer. You are a bad person. Go away.[/QUOTE]

He's not worse then me!! Jk I'm not an asswhole
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]

Well to tell you the truth, you people need to learn to speak appropriately in certain situations. If he really is a kid, would you want him to experiment on such an act? Yes you will say something stupid like, "are they that stupid to act upon my opinion?" Younger people are looking up to you people, who call yourselves "adults." Maybe you will feel better at night if you didn't kill someone for influencing them with such a retarded and descriptive paragraph. Think before you talk please. This is a forum and you have the freedom of speech, but this is not a zoo; no stupid monkeys allowed.
 
[quote name='N1nj4_KO']Well to tell you the truth, you people need to learn to speak appropriately in certain situations. If he really is a kid, would you want him to experiment on such an act? Yes you will say something stupid like, "are they that stupid to act upon my opinion?" Younger people are looking up to you people, who call yourselves "adults." Maybe you will feel better at night if you didn't kill someone for influencing them with such a retarded and descriptive paragraph. Think before you talk please. This is a forum and you have the freedom of speech, but this is not a zoo; no stupid monkeys allowed.[/QUOTE]
A kid that's been a member since 2003?
 
[quote name='The Crotch']Best Chuplayer post ever?[/QUOTE]

Yes. Definitely. Almost repents for it's blog. Now if it can make another 70 or so of posts of equal or greater genius, I can forgive it.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]


My lord...
 
[quote name='georox']Yes. Definitely. Almost repents for it's blog. Now if it can make another 70 or so of posts of equal or greater genius, I can forgive it.[/QUOTE]

I love that you refer to Chu as "it".
 
[quote name='RAMSTORIA']I love that you refer to Chu as "it".[/QUOTE]

What am I suppose to refer to it as? A creature? The strange being lurking on CAG, terrorizing the children with horrific blogs? A spawn from the abyss? A demon torn from another realm? A lemming?
 
I can't get the rest of the sponge out? Is it safe to leave it in my urethra and hope it comes out the next time I pee.

And to those calling him sick, I disagree. While the coat hanger didn't work for me, I used copper wire (maybe I'm like Hank Hill, cursed with a narrow urethra). Seems to have done the trick. I'm a good 2-3oz lighter. When the swelling goes down, I think I will run like the wind until I need to pee again. THANK YOU CAG!
 
[quote name='georox']What am I suppose to refer to it as? A creature? The strange being lurking on CAG, terrorizing the children with horrific blogs? A spawn from the abyss? A demon torn from another realm? A lemming?[/QUOTE]

id say just about any of those would work, except lemming.
 
[quote name='N1nj4_KO']Well to tell you the truth, you people need to learn to speak appropriately in certain situations. If he really is a kid, would you want him to experiment on such an act? Yes you will say something stupid like, "are they that stupid to act upon my opinion?" Younger people are looking up to you people, who call yourselves "adults." Maybe you will feel better at night if you didn't kill someone for influencing them with such a retarded and descriptive paragraph. Think before you talk please. This is a forum and you have the freedom of speech, but this is not a zoo; no stupid monkeys allowed.[/QUOTE]

If you are stupid enough to actually do this, you deserve to have a coat hanger lodged in your dick.
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']You're doing it wrong. Your body creates a kind of a pee sponge in your bladder. When you pee, you're just squeezing the sponge and releasing the liquid it has stored up. What you're supposed to do is take an old wire coat hanger, bend a little hook on the end, and shove it in your urethra. Once you get it inside you nice and deep, you'll feel it catch the sponge. You just have to get a good grip in one of the holes, and it will all come out in one piece. Since your urethra is small, it will squish into the shape of your urethra and come out as a long, thin sponge. Once it exits your body, it will quickly expand, so don't be afraid when it blows up like a balloon when it reaches your tip. This sponge weighs about 10 pounds, and this is the weight you should feel like you're losing after you pee. Unfortunately, the sponge is regenerative and will grow back by the next time you need to urinate.[/QUOTE]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:applause::applause::applause::applause::applause:

How long did it take you to think of that?
 
[quote name='eliter1']:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
:applause::applause::applause::applause::applause:

How long did it take you to think of that?[/QUOTE]

It only took a few minutes to type, and I made it up as I went along.
 
I'm more amazed at how you can fill up half a toilet bowl with shit 3-4 times in an hour and your weight stays the same.
 
[quote name='Strell']Sex dolls have sponges inside them to absorb bodily fluids.

I'm told.[/QUOTE]

They're also filled with candy. So it doubles as a pinata for those into sadism.
 
Lies all lies. There is no sponge. However, there is a toothpaste tube. I saw a girl pull it out of her ass once, minty fresh flavor. She told me that people usually do it when they are asleep and don't know it's there. She let me put it back in for her after we brushed our teeth.
 
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