I need some advice about trying to start a relationship.

Sir_Fragalot

Sir_Fragalot

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Ok this is going to sound probably stupid or something but personally I never had any good relationship expierence with girls and well I am new to this...

Well here is my story. I met this girl online (well from a dating site), and we started chatting (we are about 125 miles away from eachother so it isn't like we could physically keep in touch often right now). So a week went by since I started chatting with her and how do I say this but I am really starting to like this girl. Anyway my question is where do I go from here? I am starting to feel something for this girl but I don't know if she feels the same about me yet. I want to show her that I care about her and make her fall in love with me (and me fall in love with her but I think I am feeling something already), but since I never had any good relationship expirence I don't know what the fuck I am doing really.


So anyway where do I go from here? I want to know if there is any steps to take when trying to get her from where I am at now or should I just act like myself hoping she likes me. Is there anything I should consider doing or writing to her that would help to make her slowly fall in love with me?

Like I said I don't have any relationship expierence at all so I don't know what the fuck I am doing. Also I know it's only been a week but I could already tell that she is making me feel different than just about every other girl I talked too (in a good way). So any advice for me?

Thanks

Oh and feel free to go all out CAG on this one, as long as at least someone replies with a serious answer :lol:, because this is important to me.
 
You don't "fall" for someone by talking online. Meet up with them, and see how you feel from there.
 
Stick it in her pooper?

/obligatory

Unless you or she can move 125 miles, wouldn't it make sense to break it off now, and find someone closer?
 
[quote name='chakan']Stick it in her pooper?

/obligatory

Unless you or she can move 125 miles, wouldn't it make sense to break it off now, and find someone closer?[/quote]

My soon to be wife and I met through online interactions, not from a dating website however. Anyways, she's from Brazil. I've gone down there a couple times for 3 months a pop. Been apart for 9 months while the government approves our K-1 fiancee visa case, but she should be here for Christmas. :p

Moral of the story is,
If you find the perfect match, I don't care how far away it is, make it work.
 
You should really meet this person face to face before you become emotionally invested in a person. Relationships usually don't work, so you have come at this smart so that you won't become a basket case if it doesn't work.
 
Alright, Trenchalicious, I stand corrected.

You should try to meet her physically OP, before you drive yourself insane. I work with someone who is using three online matchmaking services, and she really hit it off with one guy. They talked for about a month, really got along. When they finally went on a date a month later...she said their was nothing there. No attraction, and apparently the guy could barely hold a conversation with her in person. He was fine on the phone, but in person...no chemistry.

So yeah, find a weekend and go spend a day with her. Soon.
 
[quote name='Liquid 2']You haven't met her yet, stupid.

Do that first.[/QUOTE]
This is correct. You don't know what really is on the other end of the keyboard.

And 125 miles is what.. about a 2 hour drive? Thats nothing. Its called a buffer zone. You will have to do a majority of the legwork, but you get your space. An hour drive would be more managable, but you shouldn't even worry about tricking her into moving closer to you yet.
 
OP, you don't make someone fall in love with you, they just do. That's as if she has no other choice. She'll fall in love with you if and when it feels right. Whatever you do, don't be an ass and force anything upon her; you'll fuck it up. Be a buddy, first.
 
from your post all i was the word "Chat" which more commonly means online chat room type of chat... so seriously have you even asked for her number and actually "Talked" to her.
Then yea the next step will meet up with her for dinner...
thats right ask her out.
If she saids "no" just forget about her and please try to meet a local girl ( ie. not online )
If she saids "Yes" go meet up with her and go on from there.
 
dont go getting attached until you find out all you can about her. and i do mean all because even relationships started up by normal means can be ruined when you find out the other person has skeletons in their closet and vice versa. and whats worse is those with problems they dont want to admit they have. more than anything man the idea of love and the perfect relationship is a grand idea but reality can be damn sobering like a kick in the nuts after an all nighter. be ready for what youre getting into and keep it real. and be honest.


oh yeah wait a while till you pop out any kinky sexual fetishes or requests those can be serious deal breakers.
 
[quote name='Kirin Lemon']That's seriously creepy if you're falling in love with her after a week of talking online. Seriously. Creepy.[/quote]

It's infatuation. Something all of us have experienced at one time or another. How he handles his infatuation is what will determine whether he is creepy or not. Until then he's just anti-social.

Besides, long distance relationships don't work.
 
[quote name='Zen Davis']Besides, long distance relationships don't work.[/quote]

For years while we were dating, me and my wife drove anywhere between .5 to 2.5 hours each way several times a week to visit each other. Now we are married. YOU ARE WRONG.
 
[quote name='SpecTrE3353']For years while we were dating, me and my wife drove anywhere between .5 to 2.5 hours each way several times a week to visit each other. Now we are married. YOU ARE WRONG.[/quote]

You are the exception. Not the rule.
 
I have a friend who lives within a mile of me (TN) and his now fiance lived in FL and she moved up here and they'll be getting married soon........they dated 3 years back and forth like that.
 
Learn your way through it like the rest of us have. The most important life lessons are learned via experience, not taught or told.

And I can say with full confidence that you are not feeling love. Infatuation, yea. Or, even more likely, you're just flattered that someone is actually showing interest in you. I don't mean that as an insult, but it's fairly obvious that you are a fella that hasn't seen much attention from the fairer sex in your life, and now that someone is giving you that attention, your boner-meter is going off the scales. My advice: slow down. Just talk with her for a while like you have been.
 
Let me begin by saying that you don't love her yet. I know, I know, you may have really strong feelings for her that you've never had for anyone else, but that's still not love.. Think of it as the second level of a 10 level game, if you want, that's where you're at. Love shouldn't come quickly, and you really don't want it to, lest you detract from its significance. Don't try to rush yourself into believing you have stronger feelings for her than you really do, or don't give the the feelings you do have a higher title. Just get to know her before you rush into anything, trust me on that. You may think you know someone, but it really takes time to tell. I'm not talking years, but at least give it a few months. Feel free to meet her if the both of you want to, that's always a good thing, but you're going to have to take things slow if you want a serious relationship. It's going to be awkward and it's going to take time, but if you want it badly enough, you can make it work.
 
Skimmed the whole thread. My thoughts:

1) If you're gonna meet someone online and want to have a relationship (for what that's worth) of some sort, find someone within your zone of practicality. The difference between the OP & Trenchalicious is that the latter has the mobility to go to Brazil & back. The OP sounds like a kid either in late elementary or high school so it's highly doubtful he has the means to see a girl living beyond a 100 mile radius regularly. It's highly impractical to find someone outside your zone since you can just as easily find someone of similar compatibility within the zone.

2) Relationships of any significant meaning require contact. This also precludes into the zone of practicality. Even if you live 100 miles apart but still have the mobility to make it happen on a pseudo-regular basis, you've still got to meet in person in order to maintain that relationship. For starting relationships, it's best to meet in person as soon as possible because, let's face it, w/ the advent of the internet, people will lie, especially about their pics.

3) You can, in fact, make someone fall in love w/ you (sometimes unwittingly when you just want someone to fcuk). Love is nothing more than a series of chemical reactions to physical stimuli. You are not a special flower or unique snowflake. There are many given responses to certain situations & they can cause a person to become infatuated with you. A smart person will know how to nurture that infatuation into something deeper.

4) Warning: For you married people, marriage doesn't guarantee eternal love & happiness or even longevity of the relationship. If you think otherwise, it's still too early in your relationship/marriage so your rational judgment is clouded. Yes, have emotions but keep a rational & logical head about your situation. The fact that there's another thread here about a guy who's having marriage problems due to his wife's mmorpg addiction is a telling sign.

5) That all said above, don't let anything stop you from going after something. Even failure to get 'that something' still provides a hard earned lesson. Translation: by all means, go after that girl living 125 miles away. Once you realize that an internet relationship w/o physical contact at least once isn't a healthy or practical one & that you can just as easily find a girl within your zone, the better off you'll be in your future interactions w/ the opposite sex. And just maybe, you might heed the warnings of more battle-hardened warriors in this crazy war we call love.
 
Do NOT! Fall in Love, Do not fall in love, do not fall in love, do not fall in love, do not fall in love, do not fall in love... have fun with the girl, maybe meet her in person, but DO NOT fall in love, DO NOT fall in love, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE!

with that said... basically, let time dictate how things workout. Talk, have fun, meet, and see where things take you.

get her to send you a pic...
 
[quote name='Liquid 2']You haven't met her yet, stupid.

Do that first.[/quote]

IAWTC. Don't feel feelings until you've actually met. and above all, don't be creepy. In fact, act like you're too busy to talk to her.

From this point on, actually, anything you say or do can only hurt your chances.
 
[quote name='shrike4242'][advice]

[pooper]
[/pooper]

[/advice]

/end[/quote]

That wouldn't work, you forgot [stick in] in between [pooper][/pooper].
 
[quote name='jaykrue']That wouldn't work, you forgot [stick in] in between [pooper][/pooper].[/quote]That was implied.

Oh, wait, this is for the OP we're talking about. Edited to cover all aspects. :lol:

[advice]

[stick-it-in-her-pooper]
[/stick-it-in-her-pooper]

[/advice]

/end

;)
 
[quote name='twhi1974']Asking for dating advice on a video game discusssion website? Dude that is pretty sad.[/quote]

I think it means he isn't ready to date.
 
Probably no girl experience whatsoever, and you're 21. Forget you saw this girl, and use her as a chat buddy, nothing more. You'll fuck it up big time.

Go to strip clubs, and start to talk to women. That's what they're paid for. Hell, go to a coffee shop and talk to random people. You can't expect to land the one you want with nothing behind your belt.
 
[quote name='fart_bubble']this isn't going to end well[/QUOTE]


OmG I was totally thinking this while reading the post!

Seriously though OP, I haven't read everyone's replies but you don't sound old enough to have a relationship (I am 27 and I am not old enough!). You just have to work at it though, make an honest attempt with the lady and don't take any shit. On the real you meeting a girl online isn't the best way (but might be the only way) to meet a girl. It is just fucked up! (woooookie flashbacks) Good luck, hope my stoned post helps!
 
Well, I don't know how old the OP is, but does it really matter? Here is my advice:

1) I actually dated several girls that I met online (and I met my wife online). People who meet people online like it, people who meet their significant others in a more traditional way look down on it. Guess what, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how you meet, it's how you feel about each other.

2) First off, I would just keep talking. I don't know what your feeling. I do know though that, even if you don't fall in love right away, some relationships just feel different than others, right from the on-set. I had 2 of those in my life. One caused me a lot of pain that I learned from, the other has given me more happiness than I ever dreamed of (and a 2+ year and counting marriage).

3) Meeting is important, but depends on you. 100 miles is not that far to travel, it's 2 hours by car. If you both can split the difference, it's an hour drive each. If that isn't possible now, just keep talking, at some point, that will be a doable drive.

Really, relationships are like snowflakes, in that, though similar, everyone is unique. You'll work your way through it. Just enjoy it, and everything will work out right at the end.
 
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