If you are taking a SHIT at WORK...

Status
Not open for further replies.
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']That was just the once, to force him to shit at school. But he was called "Shitbreak" for a reason. :lol:[/QUOTE]

But I thought that he had control over his bowels (i.e. they were regular) but that one of them happens to occur in the middle of school.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']But I thought that he had control over his bowels (i.e. they were regular) but that one of them happens to occur in the middle of school.[/QUOTE]

If he truely had control then why would he have one in the middle of the day, where he'd have leave school just to shit? Oh that's right, it's a comedy. :lol:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']If he truely had control then why would he have one in the middle of the day, where he'd have leave school just to shit? Oh that's right, it's a comedy. :lol:[/QUOTE]

Got me there. :applause::lol:
 
Looks like I may have reached my career high.. since I'm in an office with its own, executive shitter .. combined with nightly cleaning service..

(actually all of us have our own.. building was former clinic)

Guess my career has no where to go but down from here , oh well,
just start pouring.. its great while it lasts..

:beer:
 
I take like 4 shits a day minimum... usually 3 or more at work. You gotta plan different routes to the bathroom so people don't think you are crazy. Sometimes I alternate floors and stuff just to mix it up.
 
[quote name='DaleNixon']I take like 4 shits a day minimum... usually 3 or more at work. You gotta plan different routes to the bathroom so people don't think you are crazy. Sometimes I alternate floors and stuff just to mix it up.[/QUOTE]

Definitely. I hate walking past my secretary because she knows where I've been. Sometimes I wait until she isn't at here desk and make a dash for the bathroom.
 
Theres only one bathroom here that I know of. I poop in it sometimes 3 times a day. Generally atleast once.

Sure, no one likes listening to someone squeeze a round out, but I think it's pretty immature to be ashamed to poop in the presense of others.

I totally agree that leaving a buffer stall is a common curtesy, but sometimes taking a shit takes precidense over being nice. Talking is a grey area. Don't try to make pals with people, but if you know them already, why not shoot the shit while taking one?

I had a wet one a few days ago, I couldn't help but laugh most of the time because it would putter out and sounded funny.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Theres only one bathroom here that I know of. I poop in it sometimes 3 times a day. Generally atleast once.

Sure, no one likes listening to someone squeeze a round out, but I think it's pretty immature to be ashamed to poop in the presense of others.

I totally agree that leaving a buffer stall is a common curtesy, but sometimes taking a shit takes precidense over being nice. Talking is a grey area. Don't try to make pals with people, but if you know them already, why not shoot the shit while taking one?

I had a wet one a few days ago, I couldn't help but laugh most of the time because it would putter out and sounded funny.[/QUOTE]

Wow. I hope I NEVER have to share a bathroom with you. I'd never be able to get one out with all of your distractions.
 
When someone else is taking a shit I whistle the "Twisted Nerve" song from Kill Bill.

It easily gets stuck in your head and it's really creepy.
 
All of the bathrooms here at school are lacking doors. Seriously, it's not even the locker room shitter stalls; it's the main ones too. THus, I've never dropped the kids off at the pool.. at school, mainly for this reason. I'm sure there's nothing like squatting and trying not to look people in the eye as they walk past. :lol:
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']All of the bathrooms here at school are lacking doors. Seriously, it's not even the locker room shitter stalls; it's the main ones too. THus, I've never dropped the kids off at the pool.. at school, mainly for this reason. I'm sure there's nothing like squatting and trying not to look people in the eye as they walk past. :lol:[/QUOTE]

That's horrible, shit deserves private time. That should be a motherfucking right!!
 
When I was in high school I took shits in the teachers' restrooms. I got busted once and sent to the principal's office. I told them give us doors on the stalls and some motherfucking soap in the student bathrooms and I'll shit in there.
 
Didn't read thru the whole post but I have two questions, 1) What if you have to take a shit REALLY BADLY and you walk in and a guy leaves and it smells like a dead fish mixed w/ shit and rotten eggs? do you leave? shit yourself?
2) What if there are two people in there(including you) and you fart and it smells really bad? you hold it? squeek it? blast it and be proud of it?

Edit: Oh yea, whait if there is no toilet paper? in all stalls and you bout to shit ya self?
 
hahah this thread is so funny. I would make an event out of shitting everyday this summer at work, figured i get paid for 1/2 an hour of work to play some handhelds. I followed all these rules, and I thought I was weird (everyone else in the office definitly broke these rules). Nice to know others are the same as me.
 
What if the one toilet in the men's room is taken and you just gotta shit NOW. Do you use the ladies room?
 
[quote name='pop311']Didn't read thru the whole post but I have two questions, 1) What if you have to take a shit REALLY BADLY and you walk in and a guy leaves and it smells like a dead fish mixed w/ shit and rotten eggs? do you leave? shit yourself?
2) What if there are two people in there(including you) and you fart and it smells really bad? you hold it? squeek it? blast it and be proud of it?

Edit: Oh yea, whait if there is no toilet paper? in all stalls and you bout to shit ya self?[/QUOTE]

When i was younger i went to the western sizzlin for some good eating. well, the good eating turned into horrible shits and i had to go there, really bad.

i ran into the bathroom and two out of three stalls were taken. i went into the middle one and someone had taken a shit on the seat. they even rapped it around the curvature of the seat so that the shit made a horseshoe like shape. i have no idea to this day how they did that. anyways, i ran out of there and looked at the urinals. i was going to shit like that guy in kingpin long before kingpin.

at this point, i stopped, said screw it and shit my pants. my parents were pissed.

i haven't been to a western sizzlin since. :hot:
 
I think your too anal. The older I get the less I care about my bowel movements. I always been kinda crazy anyways. I would think that if someone was making you uncomfortable the best thing to do would be retaliation.

If they hit the stall next to you start talking to them...Start moaning like your crapping out a watermelon. Start making lots of agony or ecstasy noises. Say things like "wow this is really a big shit"..."I knew I shouldn't have eaten all those beans last night" or "damn my boyfriend really reamed me". Just freak them out....it's better to have a good time than to feel embarrased about something EVERYONE does.
 
[quote name='munch']When i was younger i went to the western sizzlin for some good eating. well, the good eating turned into horrible shits and i had to go there, really bad.

i ran into the bathroom and two out of three stalls were taken. i went into the middle one and someone had taken a shit on the seat. they even rapped it around the curvature of the seat so that the shit made a horseshoe like shape. i have no idea to this day how they did that. anyways, i ran out of there and looked at the urinals. i was going to shit like that guy in kingpin long before kingpin.

at this point, i stopped, said screw it and shit my pants. my parents were pissed.

i haven't been to a western sizzlin since. :hot:[/QUOTE]


LOL
that would suck having your buttcheeks covered in shit.
 
[quote name='munch']When i was younger i went to the western sizzlin for some good eating. well, the good eating turned into horrible shits and i had to go there, really bad.

i ran into the bathroom and two out of three stalls were taken. i went into the middle one and someone had taken a shit on the seat. they even rapped it around the curvature of the seat so that the shit made a horseshoe like shape. i have no idea to this day how they did that. anyways, i ran out of there and looked at the urinals. i was going to shit like that guy in kingpin long before kingpin.

at this point, i stopped, said screw it and shit my pants. my parents were pissed.

i haven't been to a western sizzlin since. :hot:[/QUOTE]

That's funny because when I was in high school my friends and I used to go to Sizzler for all you could eat for $12 and sit there all day and play cards and just bullshit all day long. We had a mandatory "ruffage round" every third order of food to clean out your system and one time for reasons I'll never know we all decided to shit in one stall for the entire day and never flush it. Clean up was to be done in a completely different stall. There were 9 of us and I know I shat twice that day - the second time standing up because the shit pile was about 5 inches above water.
 
[quote name='javeryh']That's funny because when I was in high school my friends and I used to go to Sizzler for all you could eat for $12 and sit there all day and play cards and just bullshit all day long. We had a mandatory "ruffage round" every third order of food to clean out your system and one time for reasons I'll never know we all decided to shit in one stall for the entire day and never flush it. Clean up was to be done in a completely different stall. There were 9 of us and I know I shat twice that day - the second time standing up because the shit pile was about 5 inches above water.[/QUOTE]

:puke:
 
[quote name='DaleNixon']I take like 4 shits a day minimum... usually 3 or more at work. You gotta plan different routes to the bathroom so people don't think you are crazy. Sometimes I alternate floors and stuff just to mix it up.[/QUOTE]

All joking aside, change your diet. If that doesn't work, go see a doctor.
 
The first stall is actually the cleanest, germ-wise. People assume it gets used the most and bypass it, usually choosing the stall farthest from the door, which ends up being the filthiest.
 
[quote name='2poor']2nd'd
:puke:[/QUOTE]

3rd'd. man, what if someone were to have one of those kerplunkers where a heavy turd goes down and water splashes back up on you? that's like nine dudes worth of shit water getting all over your ass. that's way sick.
 
[quote name='javeryh'] the second time standing up because the shit pile was about 5 inches above water.[/QUOTE]


:rofl: :applause: :bow:
 
You have to lace the water. Use toilet paper to cushion the shit and avoid splash back. I use this technique at home too. My shit's are not good divers and splash me everytime.
 
[quote name='Cochise']You have to lace the water. Use toilet paper to cushion the shit and avoid splash back. I use this technique at home too. My shit's are not good divers and splash me everytime.[/QUOTE] LMAO
 
[quote name='adamsappel']The first stall is actually the cleanest, germ-wise. People assume it gets used the most and bypass it, usually choosing the stall farthest from the door, which ends up being the filthiest.[/QUOTE]

I was just gonna post that. Its some kind of psychological thing and is actually very reasonable. I'm still too much of a puss to use the first stall though, and I like to avoid public bathrooms for crap as much as possible.

Has anyone here ever had to crap on the thruway? Not literally on it, but at a rest stop? That is a nightmare, as there are people in and out of every stall, including the ones right next to you. And its not like you can get up and wait for the next reststop when its like an hour away.
 
[quote name='Cochise']You have to lace the water. Use toilet paper to cushion the shit and avoid splash back. I use this technique at home too. My shit's are not good divers and splash me everytime.[/QUOTE]

:rofl: you make it sound so scientific!
 
It is a science to a certain degree lol. Maybe Methodology is a better word. All in the name of shitting comfortably.
 
[quote name='javeryh']
[*]If all stalls are empty use the one on the end away from the mirrors - there's always some douchebag who will try to sneak a peek at who is in there through the crack in the door..[/QUOTE]

That's fucking hysterical for the sole fact I've seen people do it.
 
[quote name='Cochise']You have to lace the water. Use toilet paper to cushion the shit and avoid splash back. I use this technique at home too. My shit's are not good divers and splash me everytime.[/QUOTE]

I do the same thing - maybe I should add it to the list. Also, you have to build a nest in there - NEVER use those premade doilies. Maximum ass coverage is a must and it's just impossible to achieve without building your own nest.
 
Some people look through the crack some look for feet under the door. Then you have the people who try to open the door while your in there. Possibly causing you to pinch it of too quickly. BASTARDS
 
I will never take a shit in a public restroom. Goes back to when I was 8. I was taking a dump at Woolworths (like Walmart, even more ghetto) and apparently there was only one stall (my memory is hazy on this). I took a while, being 8 and all. When I got out of the stall, there were like five grown men standing around waiting for the stall, looking at me as I left. Ever since then, I just don't.

There also was another time when I drove 90 mph down the road on a Christmas Eve cause I had to go BAD but nothing was fucking open! I had just eaten at one of those crappy restaurants where they walk around with meat pierced on swords and you told them what you wanted and they'd slide it off the sword. It was freaking freezing because it was late Dec. but I was burning hot cause I had to go so bad. I actually turned on the AC! I feel really sorry for my wife, cause she was in the car the whole time with the AC blasting and it being 30 degrees outside while flying down the road 90mph. I finally found (ironic) a hospital to go in. EDIT: Merry Christmas!
 
[quote name='Cochise']Some people look through the crack some look for feet under the door. Then you have the people who try to open the door while your in there, causing you to pinch it of too quickly. BASTARDS[/QUOTE]

-_-.... As if the stupid bastards couldnt tell that it was in use by the door being closed... And they generally have to pull three or four times just to make sure the door isn't trying to fool them. And then they ask 'is someone in there?" :roll:
 
[quote name='mcwilliams132']Amen OP!

I can't stand it when I'm taking a dump - all by myself and some dick comes in and sits in the freekn' stall next to me; when there's a perfectly good stall at the end!

If I see anyone in the bathroom when I have to take-a-duke, I'm moving on to next floor and trying that bathroom, and if that's occupied...I'll just have to hold it and try back later.]

Very good post![/QUOTE]

That is exactly the same way I am. I can't go if I know someone else is there.
 
I was just trying to convey this to my sister the other day about a certain "code". She said that in the ladies room no one cares if someones in the other stall. I told her if your in the guy's room and someone is at a urinal, you either leave a buffer or if there is only 2 urinals, you fucking leave and come back. She said that was stupid, but every guy I know says the same thing when she asks them.
 
[quote name='javeryh']That's funny because when I was in high school my friends and I used to go to Sizzler for all you could eat for $12 and sit there all day and play cards and just bullshit all day long. We had a mandatory "ruffage round" every third order of food to clean out your system and one time for reasons I'll never know we all decided to shit in one stall for the entire day and never flush it. Clean up was to be done in a completely different stall. There were 9 of us and I know I shat twice that day - the second time standing up because the shit pile was about 5 inches above water.[/QUOTE]

And you're this anal about shitting with that in your past? :lol:
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']And you're this anal about shitting with that in your past? :lol:[/QUOTE]

yeah, I don't know what happened. Over the years I've been getting more and more uptight about taking shits in public places. In high school it was never a problem. Besides Sizzler, I've shat in a brown bag and lit it on fire (halloween prank to some dick in my high school - I forget what movie that was from) and I've also shat in a clear plastic bag along with several others and whipped it against the hood of a car (same dick). Maybe there is some repressed memory regarding me taking a dump that has caused my regression. It's something to think about for sure... :D
 
[quote name='javeryh']yeah, I don't know what happened. Over the years I've been getting more and more uptight about taking shits in public places. In high school it was never a problem. Besides Sizzler, I've shat in a brown bag and lit it on fire (halloween prank to some dick in my high school - I forget what movie that was from) and I've also shat in a clear plastic bag along with several others and whipped it against the hood of a car (same dick). Maybe there is some repressed memory regarding me taking a dump that has caused my regression. It's something to think about for sure... :D[/QUOTE]

Well did he find out and kick your face in or something? That would have been scarring ... :lol:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
bread's done
Back
Top