beerguy961
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How did I not see this before?
If you are taking a SHIT at WORK...
- Thread starter Javery
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How did I not see this before?
sblymnlcrymnl
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[quote name='Mike23']I'd argue a buffer zone is important between any two seats with guys.[/QUOTE]
Especially at hockey games. Those crazy canadians are so damn homophobic ...
Especially at hockey games. Those crazy canadians are so damn homophobic ...
video_gamer
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Hahaha, funny thread man. Haha.
Vampire Hunter D
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I dont know about you guys but you better not 
ing take one of my shits. Their mine.
ing take one of my shits. Their mine.
thagoat
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i must be old school, im the guy that'll talk about taking a shit right after i did it. and as far as having company while i shit, i usually bust out laughing if i hear some toilet sounds. a guy i work with sounded like he was playing a trumpet solo in the stall, i couldn't hold back. i think he was like some of you guys, he got all embarrassed or something. personally, i find the art of shitting ING HILARIOUS!!!
ING HILARIOUS!!!
Metal Boss
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Shameful shitters are weak
TurkeyOnRye
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Yup old... but re-reading it was good for a laugh (except for the PKripp3r parts). Has there been any javeryh poop threads lately?
Kinda of reminds me of a story (not a poop story, but a piss/fart one). A bunch of friends and I went to see the Return of the King at the first midnight showing possible. I also invested in the RoTK 7-trillion oz. refillable cup which I proceed to nurse during the 3+ hour epic. As soon as the credits started, I made a mad dash to the restroom (followed by several others, all trying to get someone to hold their giant cups. I was pissing in a stall (it's what was open, ok?) and proceeded to eek out a fartlette while trying to empty my bladder. I chuckled to myself, but then someone else echoed a fart.
Ahh... male bonding at it's finest.
Kinda of reminds me of a story (not a poop story, but a piss/fart one). A bunch of friends and I went to see the Return of the King at the first midnight showing possible. I also invested in the RoTK 7-trillion oz. refillable cup which I proceed to nurse during the 3+ hour epic. As soon as the credits started, I made a mad dash to the restroom (followed by several others, all trying to get someone to hold their giant cups. I was pissing in a stall (it's what was open, ok?) and proceeded to eek out a fartlette while trying to empty my bladder. I chuckled to myself, but then someone else echoed a fart.
Ahh... male bonding at it's finest.
Mookyjooky
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I like to take a shit right next to the only person in the only occupied stall in the bathroom and offer then brownies under the wall to ease they're mind. That's why I always carry brownies in my pockets.
Who wants a bathroom brownie?
Who wants a bathroom brownie?
Holy geez, this thread is hilarious!!! I personally enjoy hearing as much farting and plopping sounds as possible in the stalls, as long as it doesn't reek of death. I always give a fist pump in the air when I'm sitting in there doing my deuce, and someone else is just unleashing holy hell from their ass.
It reminds me of the scene when Austin Powers was in the stall, and Tom Arnold is telling him to "show that turd who's boss"!
It reminds me of the scene when Austin Powers was in the stall, and Tom Arnold is telling him to "show that turd who's boss"!
onetrackmind
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Back when i was around 9-10 years old. My Dad, My Uncle and me were driving to my cousins house a couple states away. Well we stop at a rest stop at about the halfway mark so we could take a piss.
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and iing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.
Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and i
ing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.
[quote name='onetrackmind']Back when i was around 9-10 years old. My Dad, My Uncle and me were driving to my cousins house a couple states away. Well we stop at a rest stop at about the halfway mark so we could take a piss.
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and iing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.
Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.[/QUOTE]
Absolutely brilliant! If someone makes that much noise while dropping bombs, then they should expect to be laughed at/with!
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and i
ing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.[/QUOTE]
Absolutely brilliant! If someone makes that much noise while dropping bombs, then they should expect to be laughed at/with!
[quote name='onetrackmind']Back when i was around 9-10 years old. My Dad, My Uncle and me were driving to my cousins house a couple states away. Well we stop at a rest stop at about the halfway mark so we could take a piss.
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and iing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.
Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.[/QUOTE]
Now that's a funny story.
Well the rest stop was packed. Their were 2 stalls and 3 urinals, so there were guys waiting in line for the urinals. Well me and my dad get up to the urinals and start doing our business. All of a sudden someone in the stalls were shitting their brains out. I'm about to lose it and i'm doing my best to stop from laughing. i glance over at my dad and he silently mouths "dont you do it, dont you do it"
Right after he gets done mouthing that to me the dude busts out the loudest, wettest, juiciest fart and i
ing lost it. I mean I was laughing so hard it was like i was screaming. EVERYONE waiting in line starts laughing hysterically. There were guys that had to leave the bathroom cause they were laughing so hard and almost pissed themselves. Were tlaking about ing tears come out of peoples eyes cause they were laughing so hard.Me and my dad go back to the car and my uncle still had to piss so he went back in the bathroom. He said that while he was at the urinal this old man peaked his head out of the stall to see if the everyone had left and when he saw my uncle he went back in the stall.
To this day when me and my old man talk about this story we laugh our asses off.[/QUOTE]
Now that's a funny story.
Mookyjooky
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[quote name='Mike23']I'd argue a buffer zone is important between any two seats with guys.[/QUOTE]
Um, yeah... if you haven't matured past that stage, or you're a homosexual fighting the urges or ducking suspision.
Um, yeah... if you haven't matured past that stage, or you're a homosexual fighting the urges or ducking suspision.
[quote name='Kayden']Or you just realize that not everyone wants to hear a 40 something grunt and groan while birthing his latest assterpeice.[/QUOTE]
I NEVER grunt or groan...... if its gonna come out , think of that scene in American Pie with Finch, that shit he drank and that bathroom scene.
I NEVER grunt or groan...... if its gonna come out , think of that scene in American Pie with Finch, that shit he drank and that bathroom scene.
S
strongpimphand
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[quote name='javeryh']
Jesus Christ, I sit down to take my morning shit and play 9 holes of HSG and some asshole enters the bathroom right after I did. There are 4 stalls available so naturally I'm on the end. The guy ends up taking the stall two away from me so there is a one stall buffer - fine asshole at least you aren't right next to me but you are still not as far away as possible. Then - get this - someone else come in and sits right down next to me. WTF? Well that did it. My asshole clenched up and the shit was over. My window of opportunity had literally closed. Thanks a lot dickhead - it's 2005 for shit's sake - I thought we would be more civilized by now but I guess I was wrong. What a bad way to start a Monday.[/QUOTE]
I support this thread
- The number of stalls divided by 2 equals the number of usable stalls at any point in time.
- If all stalls are empty use the one on the end away from the mirrors - there's always some douchebag who will try to sneak a peek at who is in there through the crack in the door.
- If the end stall is taken - come back later. No one likes taking a shit in the presence of others.
- If you HAVE to really go at that second (you will shit yourself otherwise) then take the other end stall. If there are only 2 stalls, you must shit yourself.
- If you walk in and there are 2 stalls taken, seriously get the hell out and find another shitter. No one has ever had to go that bad. I don't care what you just ate, what medication you are on or how much caffine/prune juice/vegetable oil you just drank.
- If there is someone else taking a shit at the same time as you and you hear him start to finish up - DON'T START WIPING YOUR ASS. No one, and I mean no one, wants a face-to-face meeting at the sinks. Wait until that person is out of the bathroom entirely before coming out of the stall yourself.
- Don't open your mouth EVER. I don't give a shit about how the Yankees are doing or what the weather is like at that point in time. Just shut up dickhead.
- DO NOT strain, grunt or let me hear you breathe. There is nothing more revolting then listening to someone struggle to push one out. No matter how quiet you think you are it's still too loud. Just relax that sphincter and let it flow - if you have to exert any effort then you didn't really have to take a shit in the first place. Get out.
- When you are finished - WASH YOUR HANDS. Is it really that hard? Every time I hear someone get out of the shitter and leave immediately I cringe. Will I have to shake this person's hand at some point during the day? Will he be handing me documents that I have to read? I just don't know but it makes me sick.
- If you happen to enter the bathroom as I am leaving the stall (some things are unavoidable) do not make any eye contact or even say hello. You just caught me taking a shit and it's awkward. Just go about your business and I will wash up and get out as fast as I can.
Jesus Christ, I sit down to take my morning shit and play 9 holes of HSG and some asshole enters the bathroom right after I did. There are 4 stalls available so naturally I'm on the end. The guy ends up taking the stall two away from me so there is a one stall buffer - fine asshole at least you aren't right next to me but you are still not as far away as possible. Then - get this - someone else come in and sits right down next to me. WTF? Well that did it. My asshole clenched up and the shit was over. My window of opportunity had literally closed. Thanks a lot dickhead - it's 2005 for shit's sake - I thought we would be more civilized by now but I guess I was wrong. What a bad way to start a Monday.[/QUOTE]
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