I'm a freshman in college....and I hate it, need some help

Find some interesting groups to get involved with. Join / start a gaming clan. Get involved in the community. You basically need to get busy. I think college will both help you learn to live on your own and also appreciate your family more. As an ex-resident advisor I can tell you, you're not alone. In fact, most of those people who look like they are loving it are probably hiding their homesickness to some extent. Even the RAs.

College can be a great experience, enjoy it for what it is. But it's not home so don't expect it to replace family.
 
If a lot of people are saying the same thing it is probably good advice. So I will do too.

Get busy, get a job, get a drug habit, get a drinking problem, get laid, and most importantly get educated! Remember why you're at college. The #1 reason is to learn and get a degree. Dont feel pressure to "have the best tiem of your life" and just do your shit one day at a time and the rest will fall into place. Immerse yourself in your schoolwork (which will probably take about 5 hours a week for a freshman) and when that is taken care of do other shit.

Also Ikohn is bitter because the Steelers just beat the Eagles. The Steelers rock house and should make you feel better when Tomlin takes them to teh SIXTH, yeah thats right I said SIXTH superbowl victory.

Seriously though just get involved and get busy. You're at a crossroads of your life where you can push forward or turn around and go back. Dont turn around, push your comfort zone and it will likely be rewarding. Drinking and smoking (not cigs) will thrust you into social situations because, lets face it, its part of the college experience for alot of people.

Also, and Im surprised nobody has mentionted this yet, COLLEGE IS THE BEST TIME FOR VIDEOGAMING EVER!! I mean that, get together with some people who play and get some 4player action going, it fuckin rocks!
 
[quote name='The Mana Knight']
Drinking = Bad. I have never done it in college and don't think I will. I rather get stressed out doing homework every single day.

My advice would be to play lots of video games. ;) That's what I did and had fun.[/QUOTE]

Sex is bad. I've never had it before and I don't think I will.

Pizza is bad. I've never had it before, but I know it's bad.

Driving a car is bad. I've never done and don't think I will.

Doing Strell's mom is bad (it's actually great!). I've never done it before (I have), and I don't think I will.
 
[quote name='Ranger Rick']This girl asked me to ballroom dance with her.... should I suck it up and do it?

I posted this here becausei t had college in the title... and I am loving college so far :)[/quote]

Absolutely!!! I went to about 5 or 6 dances (balls) with my gf's sorority and had a blast. Free Booze, Free Food, and most importanlty, free eye candy ALL night.

Eviscerate the proletariat.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']get a drug habit, get a drinking problem[/QUOTE]

Is this really the kind of advice you want to be giving someone who's already exhibiting signs of depression?

All comedy aside, I hope you realize, OP, that delving into drugs and alcohol is probably not the best plan, at least until you get a hold of yourself emotionally.
 
[quote name='Magus8472']Is this really the kind of advice you want to be giving someone who's already exhibiting signs of depression?

All comedy aside, I hope you realize, OP, that delving into drugs and alcohol is probably not the best plan, at least until you get a hold of yourself emotionally.[/quote]

Yeah Magnus' was good advice, I just meant to jump into the college experience (all parts of it!) with both feet. The whole sex drugs and rock n' roll idea. I was speaking fecisiously (sp.?); Never get a drinking "problem" or a drug "habit." Overall I feel its definitly good to try new shit and push your comfort level, not with substances but with life in general. For better or worse drinking and smoking socially will push you into meeting new people.

Obviously if you are very depressed and having emotional problems you should get professional help.
 
[quote name='Liquid 2']Gotta get used to living on your own eventually.
If you're feeling lonely, just get busy to keep your mind off it. Get involved with clubs, hang out more often, get a job, catch up on some reading, sign up for some more classes, etc.[/QUOTE]

this all sounds good, but the classes must be classes that you actually have interest in.

First off, NEVER NEVER get discouraged if the system tells you that a class is full, or that you dont meet the pre requisites. Show up on the first day, talk to the professor or TA, find out which sections have space, keep showing up, some will undoubtly drop.

Learn how to work the system. You will have to jump through a ton of hoops to get what you want, DO NOT LET THE SYSTEM PUSH YOU AROUND. Those people working in the admissions and department offices are there for YOU not the other way around. Despite my disdain for adademia, i still graduated.

And yeah, find things you enjoy, whether it is sports(doenst have to be a real sport, can be bowling or some other bullshit), or other clubs- try different things. I am always shocked when first year students say they are homesick. I hated living with my parents, and all my friends had spread out all over the country at different schools so there was nothing left for me at home. If you have a strong relationship with your family, try to get a phone plan with unlimited night and weekend minuted and call them as much as you want.
 
oh and for the people talking about drugs and whatnot. marajuana is actually less harmful to your brain that alcohal or regular cigarettes.

I think drinking socially is fine(at parties and whatnot). if you are drinking to excess, to the point where you vomit, then you ought to cut back.

And as for the chick who wants you to go to ballroom dance, if she is a big gurl then avoid. In the future go to salsa dancing instead of ballroom, it is wall to wall hot chick and there is always more chicks than guys, its fun as hell.
 
if your getting aid and move back home you got to report it. If you dont and they find out they could kick you out of any aid in the future.
 
Wow didn't expect so many responses.

Thanks for the ones who are trying to help and no thanks to the ones who aren't adding anything to this thread.

I'm just going to stick it out till December (semester), go Rush, etc and see what it is like then decide if I am going to transfer to a branch campus closer to home so I can commute.

No, I don't just sit in my room and play games, there are usually a lot of people in my dorm playing Halo, I just am not comfortable yet here is what I suppose.
 
[quote name='Quintox']

No, I don't just sit in my room and play games, there are usually a lot of people in my dorm playing Halo, I just am not comfortable yet here is what I suppose.[/QUOTE]


:rofl: Do you not see that that is exactly the problem?
 
well I had a tough time adjusting... try heading down to the tv lounge on Sunday to watch some football.. you'll meet a ton of football fans and hopefully some Steeler fans.. :) It took me a couple months to get adjusted but it will get better...
 
[quote name='dracula']what campus is this? Depending on the school, if it is a small school, much of this wont apply.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, small schools are definitely a completely different game. I mean, there's still definitely a lot of ways to meet people at smaller schools, but the opportunities are definitely more limited.
 
[quote name='Chacrana']Yeah, small schools are definitely a completely different game. I mean, there's still definitely a lot of ways to meet people at smaller schools, but the opportunities are definitely more limited.[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. As well, it is very much different to be in a city where you can go out and do almost anything, than to be in the middle of nowhere where the OP is, where your options are limited.
 
[quote name='Chacrana']Yeah, small schools are definitely a completely different game. I mean, there's still definitely a lot of ways to meet people at smaller schools, but the opportunities are definitely more limited.[/QUOTE]

Surprise sex is a good option.
 
I think i'll be in your boat in less than 2 weeks when I move to OSU. My stomach doesn't feel right just thinking about it. I don't know how I'm going to take a shit or shower without feeling awkward or embarrassed. My roommate will probably be a huge asshole too.
 
[quote name='raidenjack']I think i'll be in your boat in less than 2 weeks when I move to OSU. My stomach doesn't feel right just thinking about it. I don't know how I'm going to take a shit or shower without feeling awkward or embarrassed. My roommate will probably be a huge asshole too.[/QUOTE]

You could start by not setting yourself up to fail.
 
[quote name='lordwow']I agree with this. As well, it is very much different to be in a city where you can go out and do almost anything, than to be in the middle of nowhere where the OP is, where your options are limited.[/QUOTE]

The best option is just to make sure you get to know the people on your floor. I'm in a similar situation where my school's small and there's really not shit to do in the town surrounding it, so you've pretty much got to meet people within your building if you want to keep your sanity.

Okay, maybe a bit dramatic.
 
[quote name='munch']:rofl: Do you not see that that is exactly the problem?[/quote]
No they are in my dorm room playing I mean
Yes, my school is tiny and nothing to do in town.
 
[quote name='Cracka']the only choice you have is to become emo. start wearing all black, writing poems and crying more[/quote]that's actually not a bad idea. it helped me cope through high school and i'm thinking about keeping my 'emoness' as a backup in case i have to deal with difficult people. I would love to be open and social but there are just a lot of assholes in this world.
 
I wish I was you.
I want to move out, so bad.
It gets me upset when people don't appreciate being independant.
Seriously man, I know it's hard to forget about home, but have fun.
Do things you've never done before (to an extent) and party, meet people, have fun!
I wish I had enough money to get an appartment with friends to move out, which I hope to do, but for now...not yet.
 
I'm in the same situation.

I've got about two people I'd call friends in college so far. The others I've just hung out with a bit, but hardly anyone I'd call friends. I know a few people in my dorm, but they seem to be in groups already.

I'm playing club tennis, I'm in a few clubs, and I'm taking any invitation people give me to hang out or whatever. I try to say something to everyone I see in my dorm (for example, I'll just say hi to someone on the elevator or ask someone what they're reading). Yet I'm not making many friends.

I'm not a weird guy, I think I'm good looking, and I'm pretty social but it seems everyone in my dorm that wears their hat backwards with a shitty Abercrombie polo and sandals gets the girls. You know, the ones whose interests include sports and drinking--that's it. I'm one of (what seems to be) the few guys with some actual interests.

Don't know. I'm not hating college, but it's not great so far. I expected this to be the most fun time of my life. I'm two weeks in and it's not much different than going to a summer school camp or something--except with parties.
 
[quote name='xghostsniperx']I'm in the same situation.

I've got about two people I'd call friends in college so far. The others I've just hung out with a bit, but hardly anyone I'd call friends. I know a few people in my dorm, but they seem to be in groups already.

I'm playing club tennis, I'm in a few clubs, and I'm taking any invitation people give me to hang out or whatever. I try to say something to everyone I see in my dorm (for example, I'll just say hi to someone on the elevator or ask someone what they're reading). Yet I'm not making many friends.

I'm not a weird guy, I think I'm good looking, and I'm pretty social but it seems everyone in my dorm that wears their hat backwards with a shitty Abercrombie polo and sandals gets the girls. You know, the ones whose interests include sports and drinking--that's it. I'm one of (what seems to be) the few guys with really refined interests and talent.

Don't know. I'm not hating college, but it's not great so far. I expected this to be the most fun time of my life. I'm two weeks in and it's not much different than going to a summer school camp or something--except with parties.[/QUOTE]

give it time, many schools offer social events on campus, take your small group and maybe meet up with some other people. Don't be afraid to invite people to grab a bite to eat or see if anyone feels like doing laundry with you. Put in the effort to make friends. Clubs are great and all, but you should really concentrate on the people around you since, the club people might just be interested in the activity and less in making friends.

Ohh and don't make lame excuses for not getting laid, you make yourself seem pathetic, so what if they all wear the same shit, it apparently works from what you are saying. For someone with apparently hard time making new friends don't be too cocky "really refined interests and talents" maybe you are so refined you blow off people who try to have a beer with you or get you over to watch a game. Get off the high horse, walk among us mortals and try to enjoy college.


Maybe you can use your "really refined interests and talents" to pick up chicks. Older ones really love talented refined gentlemen, especially at senior centers.
 
[quote name='Ikohn4ever']give it time, many schools offer social events on campus, take your small group and maybe meet up with some other people. Don't be afraid to invite people to grab a bite to eat or see if anyone feels like doing laundry with you. Put in the effort to make friends. Clubs are great and all, but you should really concentrate on the people around you since, the club people might just be interested in the activity and less in making friends.

Ohh and don't make lame excuses for not getting laid, you make yourself seem pathetic, so what if they all wear the same shit, it apparently works from what you are saying. For someone with apparently hard time making new friends don't be too cocky "really refined interests and talents" maybe you are so refined you blow off people who try to have a beer with you or get you over to watch a game. Get off the high horse, walk among us mortals and try to enjoy college.


Maybe you can use your "really refined interests and talents" to pick up chicks. Older ones really love talented refined gentlemen, especially at senior centers.[/quote]

That was worded really poorly. Sorry. "refined interests" makes me sound like a fucktard.
 
just remember that your family and friends are still at home, and you are just there to get your work done, and eventually you may learn to like it more. Its not like you can't drive home on the weekends, school break or holidays to be with your friends and family. Plus its only 45 mins away not in another state etc so you can always go home if you need to.
 
honestly....nothing is wrong with you. some people enjoy being at college and away from home and some people really like their hometown and are more comfortable there. all i can tell you is try some new stuff out. go to some parties. play some intramural sports. go to whatever events your school is having. it definatly sounds like you go out and do stuff and not just sit around in your room. so just continue to try things out. after a few more months if you feel the same then go to school somewhere close to your home.
 
I apologize ahead of time for being so blunt, but...

What the crap is with people expecting college to be the best thing ever after less than two weeks? Everyone needs time to settle in - to expect that the first few weeks is representative of an entire four or five year experience is just asinine.

If you can't handle being away from home at your age, then god help you, you've got a very dull and unsuccessful life ahead of you.
 
i went through 3 roommates my first year @ IUP.. one quit after a month of school.. the second was all about child pornography.. I confronted him about it and he never returned after christmas break.. the third roommate was like 35 and hated the snow.. he quit in about April.. that was a crazy year...
 
i know in 2 weeks it's not magically supposed to be awesome, but everyone else seems to enjoy it while I don't, thus I feel like an idiot/something is wrong with me.
 
[quote name='Kirin Lemon']I apologize ahead of time for being so blunt, but...

What the crap is with people expecting college to be the best thing ever after less than two weeks? Everyone needs time to settle in - to expect that the first few weeks is representative of an entire four or five year experience is just asinine.

If you can't handle being away from home at your age, then god help you, you've got a very dull and unsuccessful life ahead of you.[/quote]

Well this next generation has had everything catered to them, the helicopter parents, the mom taxi shuttling them around to school and then after-school activities, etc.

It's quite a shock to realize that *gasp* they are suddenly expected to make new friends and entertain themselves.
 
[quote name='Quintox']i know in 2 weeks it's not magically supposed to be awesome, but everyone else seems to enjoy it while I don't, thus I feel like an idiot/something is wrong with me.[/quote]

don't feel like that.. just take note of who is in your classes and especially your major classes.. you will see a lot of them.. start there and make friends.. after that..just leave your dorm room door open a lot when you are in there and people will come and talk to you.. just take it slow.. It took me a good month or two to get into talking to a lot of people in college...
 
Don't worry too much about it - I'm a senior and I still get really homesick at the start of each year.
Keep in mind that a lot of the people who say that this is the best time of your life are probably the same people who claim that about high school. And, you know, very few high school students actually enjoy high school. The ones that do are probably popular jerks (what? I'm not bitter!).
If your campus is Greek, I'd consider rushing - even if you don't end up pledging, the process lets you meet a ton of people and make friends, and it can also get you into the 'college' mindset.

Also, I second the advice to check out your school's psych counseling center. I recommend some cognitive-behavioral therapy - it can help you stop bad thinking patterns (e.g. "I got a B because I suck and am a terrible human being" kind of stuff) and could help you a LOT. Never feel bad to check out therapy, and ignore the people telling you it stays on your record. Yeah, your record might show that you saw a shrink - along with about 75% of the rest of your college, lol. They can't show why you saw the shrink or what treatment you received.
 
[quote name='xghostsniperx']but it seems everyone in my dorm that wears their hat backwards with a shitty Abercrombie polo and sandals gets the girls.
Get a cool hat, wear it backwards, wear a shitty abercrombie polo and sandals.
Click to expand...
 
[quote name='xghostsniperx']but it seems everyone in my dorm that wears their hat backwards with a shitty Abercrombie polo and sandals gets the girls. [/quote]

Get a cool hat, wear it backwards, wear a shitty abercrombie polo and sandals.
 
[quote name='pittpizza']Get a cool hat, wear it backwards, wear a shitty abercrombie polo and sandals.[/quote] Exactly, when in rome.
 
[quote name='xghostsniperx']it seems everyone in my dorm that wears their hat backwards with a shitty Abercrombie polo and sandals gets the girls. You know, the ones whose interests include sports and drinking--that's it.
[/QUOTE]
Well, yeah. College girls who think those guys are ridiculous morons, such as me, are well within the minority. Get used to it.
 
I detest these whiney topics about how "college sucks" or "college isn't what I thought it would be" or whatever. Boo hoo - staying up late to get drunk with friends, watch TV, jerk off, play video games, bang chicks or whatever is soooooooo freaking tough. Nevermind the 2 hours of responsibility you might have the following day... oh wait, I almost forgot about the 3 month summer break and 1 month winter break... and spring break... and the "I don't feel like going to class today because I'm hungover so I'll just skip because it doesn't really matter" break, etc. Yeah, there's so much to complain about. Jesus Christ.
 
[quote name='javeryh']I detest these whiney topics about how "college sucks" or "college isn't what I thought it would be" or whatever. Boo hoo - staying up late to get drunk with friends, watch TV, jerk off, play video games, bang chicks or whatever is soooooooo freaking tough. Nevermind the 2 hours of responsibility you might have the following day... oh wait, I almost forgot about the 3 month summer break and 1 month winter break... and spring break... and the "I don't feel like going to class today because I'm hungover so I'll just skip because it doesn't really matter" break, etc. Yeah, there's so much to complain about. Jesus Christ.[/quote]

agreed... college is fucking awesome
 
[quote name='Ranger Rick']agreed... college is fucking awesome[/quote]

QFT!!! This sucks so bad for the OP because it is a great opportunity to have a wonderful experience when it sounds like he is having a pretty bad experience. I cant help but feel bad for him.
 
[quote name='javeryh']I detest these whiney topics about how "college sucks" or "college isn't what I thought it would be" or whatever. Boo hoo - staying up late to get drunk with friends, watch TV, jerk off, play video games, bang chicks or whatever is soooooooo freaking tough. Nevermind the 2 hours of responsibility you might have the following day... oh wait, I almost forgot about the 3 month summer break and 1 month winter break... and spring break... and the "I don't feel like going to class today because I'm hungover so I'll just skip because it doesn't really matter" break, etc. Yeah, there's so much to complain about. Jesus Christ.[/quote]

Well maybe because I'm not a dumbass like you and get wasted all the time and only care about getting laid. I don't drink or any of that crap. I loved high school and I had a great time without doing any of that stuff. And don't say "Uh, duh, you don't like college b/c you aren't having any fun! Go drink!"

I don't just sit in my room, and when I do, someone else is usually in here. I am just having a harder time getting used to having a roomate, hall bathrooms, all that stuff.
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']How is it possible for you to only do laundry once a month? I do it like twice a week when I'm at college.[/QUOTE]

dont even ask how often i change the bed sheets.
 
[quote name='Quintox']Well maybe because I'm not a dumbass like you and get wasted all the time and only care about getting laid. I don't drink or any of that crap. I loved high school and I had a great time without doing any of that stuff. And don't say "Uh, duh, you don't like college b/c you aren't having any fun! Go drink!"

I don't just sit in my room, and when I do, someone else is usually in here. I am just having a harder time getting used to having a roomate, hall bathrooms, all that stuff.[/QUOTE]

As for the hall bathrooms, here is the solution: find the bathroom on campus that gets the least use and is the cleanest. If it feels like you are the only one who takes a shit on that toilet every day, it makes all the difference in the world. Every campus has a bathroom like this, no one knows it exists, and it gets very little use.

As for the having a roommate, yeah i hear you. I had a really bad roommate my freshman year, he would bring in friends from his home town, and have 3 or 4 in the small room, and one of them was 15 year old chick who was essentially a runaway. And she was fucking the other 3 guys, i was worried i would get arrested for aiding and abbeding or some other shit. Friendly guy, but maybe a bit too friendly.

Stay in your dorm room as little as possible. As for the "no drinking at parties" schitck, i would suggest at least holding a beer, even if you are not drinking, it will make you fit in more. This will help at parties.
 
[quote name='Quintox']No they are in my dorm room playing I mean
Yes, my school is tiny and nothing to do in town.[/QUOTE]

OK this is a whole different animal. If you really cant stand it, just focus on classes and try to get an extremely high GPA your freshman year and then transfer to a public university or really any school that you would like more. It sounds like you simply dont like the small school environment, especially if there isnt much to do and too much down time with not many opportunities to socialize.

Much of this thread will not apply because the school is small and you are in a small town.

Take advantage of any campus learning assistance if you need help in a math class or an english class. I mean, if your math is strong but your writing skills are weak, get help on your english papers.

Since you are a freshman, you are likely taking many of the introductory classes: english 101, calculus 101, econ 101 etc. If you are motivated, you can totally kick butt on these pre requisite classes. then transfer. That will really help you in the long run. Yeah you can socialize on the weekends, but keep your staying on top of your schoolwork your top priority. I am not just saying to make sure you get your work in on time, i am saying take the time to really do it well, be at the top of the class.

EDIT
yeah there is the other option, take the advice of the people in this thread and blow off classes and try to go with the flow. Seiously, that could work for your freshman year because the classes are much easier that what you will be studying later. You can spend the lion's share of your time socializing, drink to excess, fuck to excess, and blow off classes. That is the other extreme
 
Rush is a good idea. If your college has it try it out, a chance to meet some people and unlike the movies and tv shows not all frat guys are tools.

Plus a fraternity can be a great way to get involved in communtiy service.
 
I got into the big schools in SC I just didn't choose to goto them, which like I've said before, I kind of wish I went to USC to room with my best friend...

But then again, if I don't like this little school (which is what I wanted), I doubt I would have liked USC besides rooming with my best friend.

I am seeing how this semester goes then if I hate it, I'm going to transfer to either USC or a branch campus that I can commute to (I admit, I like being home) I've been talking to a high school classmate that goes to the branch campus, he commutes and says he likes it there.

See, I was worried before I even came to college b/c deep down I knew I wasn't ready. Parents would always ask people "So, are you excited for college?!" and other people would be like "Yeah I can't wait!" and I never felt like that. That should have been a sign to commute for the first year or two then transfer I suppose..
 
[quote name='Quintox']Well maybe because I'm not a dumbass like you and get wasted all the time and only care about getting laid. I don't drink or any of that crap. I loved high school and I had a great time without doing any of that stuff. And don't say "Uh, duh, you don't like college b/c you aren't having any fun! Go drink!"

I don't just sit in my room, and when I do, someone else is usually in here. I am just having a harder time getting used to having a roomate, hall bathrooms, all that stuff.[/QUOTE]

Not to call you out but javeryh (sorry if I got the name wrong), if memory serves, is pretty darn successful in the real world.

Anyhow, if things continue to suck, do what I did and join the Marine Corps. It will make your return to college four years later a breeze.

Whatever you do, don't go bouncing from college to college, collecting F's for 2 years like I did, go do something else if college sucks so much.
 
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