Japanese Nintendo DS Manual: What you shouldn't do with your DS!

CheapyD

CheapyD

Head Cheap Ass
Staff member
Feedback
14 (100%)
As I mentioned on one of the CAGcasts, the Japanese Nintendo DS manual sure has a lot of warnings...9 pages of them to be exact.
Since I can't read Japanese too well, I figured I'd just give it my best guess:



ds1.gif
While a fire looks like a good place to store your Nintendo DS, you may want to consider one of the officially licensed Nintendo cases.


ds2.gif
If you see this, you have awoken the Genie of the DS!
He's probably pissed off that we made him manufacture these in China for 10 cents an hour. Run away!



ds6.gif
The DS's power cord is too short to be used as effective nunchucks. Instead, Nintendo recommends attaching the DS the the handle of a katana.



ds3.gif
If you DS gets thirsty, be sure to use a straw. He's a sloppy motherfucker.



ds9.gif
Playing the DS while driving is distracting.
You may find yourself doing odd things like driving on the wrong side of the car.



ds4.gif
Be sure to keep your DS in close reach of your children.
You wouldn't want your kids straining themselves when they want to play Animal Crossing or take a piss on your DS.



ds7.gif
Be sure to use 2 DSs' when attempting to rollerskate.
Using one is just stupid.



ds5.gif
If your are going to throw your DS out the window, make sure pick a suitable target like your friends' head.
Pretty much anything other than the sidewalk will do.



ds10.gif
While the DS stylus is tasty, its a much better fit up your nose, or even better, inside your eyelid.



ds8.gif
Don't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.



ds12.gif
Putting only one DS in your back pocket will make your ass look really weird. Go with two for that Jennifer Lopez look.



ds11.gif
ds13.gif
Pushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.
 
Let this be a lesson to those who point the fingers at the United States for being unnecessarily redundant (such as putting "Warning: Hot" notices on coffee cups).

9 pages of redundant, even.
 
[quote name='Ecofreak']And I thought America had too many warning lables...[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I was thinking..
 
[quote name='CheapyD']
ds8.gif
Don't try to bed the DS without taking it out for an expensive meal. Its not a slut like the PSP.

ds11.gif
ds13.gif
Pushing your fingers through the DS will likely give you some kind of super-human powers ala Electro.
Do not do so unless you can handle the responsibility.[/QUOTE]

:rofl: Those two are my favorite. The Spider-Man reference is great.
 
Awesome. I remember when I got my first PS, there was a similar "do not do" list that had a anthropomorphic PS doing things like taking a shower or shooting electricity at kids(I think).
 
[quote name='scdoanintendo']A little OT but do you have a DS yet Cheapy?[/QUOTE]
Yup, a Graphite one.
Thats how I found the the over the top safety warnings.
 
Now that I think about all nintendo stuff comes with warning. Stuff that should keep parents from buying stuff at all. They have warning seizures on everything. Nothing as funny as cheapy's stuff.
 
So I decide to dig up my Japanese DS manual since I didn't read the manual at all when I got my DS from Hong Kong (why would I read the manual if I don't understand Japanese?).

Yep, haha it's there. Good find Cheapy!
 
I finally listened to that CAGcast this morning and I was thinking it would be cool if you posted the pics... very funny stuff...
 
[quote name='Ecofreak']And I thought America had too many warning lables...[/QUOTE]


ROFLMAO. Not only do they have labels, they have PICTURES. Ooooooooooooooo.
 
just saw these warnings today. man, too hilarious. that's really in the official DS manual? i'm going to go bust out my manual from my import and check when i go home.
 
Oh man, just got linked to this from Kotaku talking about the Lites warnings. Now how am I supposed to wait patiently for my Lite when it's going to be ten fold this?!?!

That and I want to know why the Japanese reward the first people in line with sitting on the cement when everyone else got nicey comfy folding chairs? Are they just jerks like that? Were they really homeless folks that just happened to nap there and people started forming a line behind them? If the later's the case I can see why there's a warning against eating the stylus.
 
ds2.gif


revenge of the Assembler from China or Toxic Fumes?


ds6.gif


Okay now my brain says do it thanks alot.


ds3.gif


Dumb Nintendog owners.

ds9.gif


Playing GTA then driving is more dangerous

ds4.gif


Obvious and the same for small animals. They should have a picture of a Bird taking a dunk on the NDS in mid flight or a dog biting it.

ds7.gif


Did this with my GBA tons of times by ignorance.


ds5.gif


The NDS would come apart not kidding you. Imagine flinging a NDS or Gameboy out the window head first.


ds10.gif


Warning for kids again and Bukkake hoars. Then again that stlyus might have been elsewhere.

ds8.gif


Well I do play like this sometimes in the past. I think the Gameboy gave me static electricity.

ds12.gif


I had my GBA SP in my pants pocket and left it in there over night. THe next day my GBA had scratch marks all over the case from the pants. MY Gameboy was much better. Then again Asians walk around in velvet running pants all the time which is nicer on the skin.

ds11.gif
ds13.gif


Don't rape the NDS screen people thats what the stylus is for
 
Well that never answered any questions but some strange reason I want that game. The NDS has a Microphone wow and I missed that auction for a $55 NDS with Lunar Dragopn Song:bomb:
 
[quote name='RegalSin2020']Well that never answered any questions but some strange reason I want that game. The NDS has a Microphone wow and I missed that auction for a $55 NDS with Lunar Dragopn Song:bomb:[/quote]lunar dragon song was apparently a very bad game, some of the mechanics in it were really weird like losing health as you run
 
[quote name='maigoyume']lunar dragon song was apparently a very bad game, some of the mechanics in it were really weird like losing health as you run[/QUOTE]

Well the reason why you lose health is the fact when you run your body sweats and you will never see people running around in armor or heavy gear.
In the original Lunar all they did was walk here and walk there. It was annoying but then again if they made the characters run here and there then the realism of the game would have been dimished.
 
[quote name='RegalSin2020']Well the reason why you lose health is the fact when you run your body sweats and you will never see people running around in armor or heavy gear.
In the original Lunar all they did was walk here and walk there. It was annoying but then again if they made the characters run here and there then the realism of the game would have been dimished.[/QUOTE]

Dragons are realistic though as is the song that those dragons happen to enjoy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top