I am a 27 year old white male who's been employed everyday of his life since turning 16. I been achieving and accomplishing goals on a regular basis. I had a few close friends, but none who would consider "The cool Crowd", as I graduated High School with 3.8 GPA, I decided to not attend college even though I had a local state college who offered a Athletic scholarship for Track and Field. I was dating a girl (3 year relationship) when I graduated, and she wanted me to not go to college because we rarely wouldn't be able to see each other. I gave in to her wish, and just did a retail job to save money after I graduated and when she graduates (She was a year behind me in school) we would move out of state and start our life together. Well then it happened, she graduated, and went to a college (paid for by her dad) a few states over......and she ended our 3 year old relationship. I gave up a full scholarship for her after she pleaded and beg, I look back and see I was blinded by love, because she did not give me that same courtesy.
Flash forward 3 years (20 years old), I start a small local business, and everything is going better then I could Imagine. I have a full time job and a small business, so I finally start to put money into my savings account for the first time in my adult life. I was starting to become confident, independent, and comfortable to be in own skin for the first time I could remember. Then I met a cute, funny girl on MySpace (Yes, that social network) who lived 3 city's over, about 1 hour drive. This girl was beautiful, similar taste in hobbies and music, and was only a year older then me. She did local print ad modeling, so nothing major but did have couple local commercials too. She mentioned she loved video games too (I was calling her bluff, because I had video games listed in my hobbie/profile on MySpace). I quizzed her on Final Fantasy series, and she knew her stuff, even said Final Fantasy 8 was her favorite (yea I'm like
when she said FFVIII). I then make the hour drive up state to hang out with this girl, which pretty much turned into 4-5 days/week to see her. She wants to start dating, so we became a couple. Then my life changed forever in a dark spiral corridor as I enter into a relationship with this wild, hot, outgoing girl.
She eventually moves in with me (because a 2 hour round trip in the car to see her was becoming too much). I start to meet her friends (most of which also did modeling). We where hanging out, and was offered something by my girlfriend which I had no idea what it was. I kept telling my girlfriend no, I'm good, drugs aren't my thing (which was true as I never did ANY drugs, not even weed). She kept persisting and said she would do this and do that to me (Sexually explicit activities), after about an hour of her begging, I decide to try it.....and told her I am only doing it once and she has to agree to not ask me again or take me around this drug again. I did the drug for first time and honestly made me feel fantastic, happy, and pretty much invincible. I became addictive to it and that's just what my girlfriend(I had no idea she did that drug or any drug for that matter until that night she offered it to me)wanted because I had plenty of disposable income. I start to become irrational, delusional, mean, and lack motivation between uses and as a result I lost my job and gave up on my small business. The Girlfriend and me became hateful towards each other as we both had an urge to get high all the time. I said enough is enough, and broke up with her because I THOUGHT that would help me return my life to normal. I will never forget what she said when I broke up with her..."You can get rid of me.....but I gave you something that will eat you up inside daily....an addiction(as she was laughing)".
Little did I know, but she was right....oh was she right. I struggled with the addiction for almost a year longer until a blessing happened....I was arrested for possession. I thought my life was over, but since I had a clean record, I was given a year supervised probation and 40 hours of community service at a local church. I'm not a spiritual person by any means (never step foot into a church until that day to perform community service). I was really depressed and sad and felt worthless, but when I walked into that church....a chill shot up my spine....the air was thin and cleanse, everybody knew why I was their at the church....because I broke the law but yet they still accepted me with open arms. I spent 2 months performing my community service at that church(sweeping, cleaning, vacuuming) until the 40 required hours were completed. I actually returned to that same church a week later and donated another 40 hours of helping out/volunteering because I felt like possibly god would give me redemption for my sins. I have been and remain drug free for 6 years.
Here is what I meant to make the thread about.....About 3 years ago I meet a girl (mother of 2) through a good friend. She was in the middle of a divorce, so we remained friends and I got to know her young children (I have no children of my own). We really had a chemistry, and shortly we started dating and I moved in with her to help with rent and until her lease was up, then we would get a bigger house. Everything was perfect, her children loved me, and actually call me dad (their biological dad wanted nothing to do with them after the divorce). We rent a big house, and we actually had a "Family", after about 2 years of living together in the house, things started to changed.....not for the good either. Her addiction towards alcohol went from bad to worst, and since I had an addiction that I fought and won against many years ago, I thought I could "Save" her, because her alcohol abuse was effecting her job, house chorse. I started to become extremely concern when she would skip/call out for no reason other then a hang over. I helped her though it and she improved immensely.
Valentines weekend of this year, I come home from work....no kids....no girlfriend. I try to call her a few times and got no answer, but talk to her sister and my girlfriends children are with her for the weekend, but she says my girlfriend just spending weekend with her best friend down the street from her house. I'm like awesome, she was getting a break from the kids for a few days, she did deserve it after all. Then Monday comes and she comes home with the children......acting like nothing happen. I just shrug it off and go to work Tuesday, and come home....notice a suite case in her car. I then ask her why do you have a suitcase in your car, thought you just went to your best friends house 20 mins away. She drops the bomb and said she flew to an ex who she hasn't seen in 10 years, about 8 states over in California. She said she only went to see him as a friend, because she loves and is happy with me. She only went for moral support because he was going through a rough time. A few weeks pass, and thought were doing great for what just transpired, She says she needs to talk to me.....She is moving to California with her two children to live with him (She only spent 2 days with him, and admittedly only been talking to him for a month, but yet makes such a irrational decision, but her two children (4&6) has never met or heard of this guy, but yet she trust this guy enough to move her children in a strangers house). She said she is moving in with him, they already leased a apartment while she was their that weekend, she quit her job, pulled her daughter out of school, bought flight tickets, and gave the landlord 30 days notice 25 days ago!!!!. You gave landlord 30 day notice?!? So I had 5 days to move and vacate house, and found new place to live.
I could get over loosing my girlfriend but I knew and raised her children since infants, who call me dad and say they love me and gave me hug and kiss every night when I tucked them in. The kids don't understand, and they think I'm moving with them, and they keep begging me to pleas move with them.....I can only tell them I would honestly love nothing more, and I really hope your mother explains what is going on. I been moved out for a few days, and every night I think of them, it's really gut wrenching, knowing I will never see them kids again, I get so emotional looking at the bday cards that they hand made each year for me, brings me to tears. I never had a problem getting over girlfriends after break ups but never had children involve, and even though they might not be mine biologically....they are a part of me.
Flash forward 3 years (20 years old), I start a small local business, and everything is going better then I could Imagine. I have a full time job and a small business, so I finally start to put money into my savings account for the first time in my adult life. I was starting to become confident, independent, and comfortable to be in own skin for the first time I could remember. Then I met a cute, funny girl on MySpace (Yes, that social network) who lived 3 city's over, about 1 hour drive. This girl was beautiful, similar taste in hobbies and music, and was only a year older then me. She did local print ad modeling, so nothing major but did have couple local commercials too. She mentioned she loved video games too (I was calling her bluff, because I had video games listed in my hobbie/profile on MySpace). I quizzed her on Final Fantasy series, and she knew her stuff, even said Final Fantasy 8 was her favorite (yea I'm like
when she said FFVIII). I then make the hour drive up state to hang out with this girl, which pretty much turned into 4-5 days/week to see her. She wants to start dating, so we became a couple. Then my life changed forever in a dark spiral corridor as I enter into a relationship with this wild, hot, outgoing girl. She eventually moves in with me (because a 2 hour round trip in the car to see her was becoming too much). I start to meet her friends (most of which also did modeling). We where hanging out, and was offered something by my girlfriend which I had no idea what it was. I kept telling my girlfriend no, I'm good, drugs aren't my thing (which was true as I never did ANY drugs, not even weed). She kept persisting and said she would do this and do that to me (Sexually explicit activities), after about an hour of her begging, I decide to try it.....and told her I am only doing it once and she has to agree to not ask me again or take me around this drug again. I did the drug for first time and honestly made me feel fantastic, happy, and pretty much invincible. I became addictive to it and that's just what my girlfriend(I had no idea she did that drug or any drug for that matter until that night she offered it to me)wanted because I had plenty of disposable income. I start to become irrational, delusional, mean, and lack motivation between uses and as a result I lost my job and gave up on my small business. The Girlfriend and me became hateful towards each other as we both had an urge to get high all the time. I said enough is enough, and broke up with her because I THOUGHT that would help me return my life to normal. I will never forget what she said when I broke up with her..."You can get rid of me.....but I gave you something that will eat you up inside daily....an addiction(as she was laughing)".
Little did I know, but she was right....oh was she right. I struggled with the addiction for almost a year longer until a blessing happened....I was arrested for possession. I thought my life was over, but since I had a clean record, I was given a year supervised probation and 40 hours of community service at a local church. I'm not a spiritual person by any means (never step foot into a church until that day to perform community service). I was really depressed and sad and felt worthless, but when I walked into that church....a chill shot up my spine....the air was thin and cleanse, everybody knew why I was their at the church....because I broke the law but yet they still accepted me with open arms. I spent 2 months performing my community service at that church(sweeping, cleaning, vacuuming) until the 40 required hours were completed. I actually returned to that same church a week later and donated another 40 hours of helping out/volunteering because I felt like possibly god would give me redemption for my sins. I have been and remain drug free for 6 years.
Here is what I meant to make the thread about.....About 3 years ago I meet a girl (mother of 2) through a good friend. She was in the middle of a divorce, so we remained friends and I got to know her young children (I have no children of my own). We really had a chemistry, and shortly we started dating and I moved in with her to help with rent and until her lease was up, then we would get a bigger house. Everything was perfect, her children loved me, and actually call me dad (their biological dad wanted nothing to do with them after the divorce). We rent a big house, and we actually had a "Family", after about 2 years of living together in the house, things started to changed.....not for the good either. Her addiction towards alcohol went from bad to worst, and since I had an addiction that I fought and won against many years ago, I thought I could "Save" her, because her alcohol abuse was effecting her job, house chorse. I started to become extremely concern when she would skip/call out for no reason other then a hang over. I helped her though it and she improved immensely.
Valentines weekend of this year, I come home from work....no kids....no girlfriend. I try to call her a few times and got no answer, but talk to her sister and my girlfriends children are with her for the weekend, but she says my girlfriend just spending weekend with her best friend down the street from her house. I'm like awesome, she was getting a break from the kids for a few days, she did deserve it after all. Then Monday comes and she comes home with the children......acting like nothing happen. I just shrug it off and go to work Tuesday, and come home....notice a suite case in her car. I then ask her why do you have a suitcase in your car, thought you just went to your best friends house 20 mins away. She drops the bomb and said she flew to an ex who she hasn't seen in 10 years, about 8 states over in California. She said she only went to see him as a friend, because she loves and is happy with me. She only went for moral support because he was going through a rough time. A few weeks pass, and thought were doing great for what just transpired, She says she needs to talk to me.....She is moving to California with her two children to live with him (She only spent 2 days with him, and admittedly only been talking to him for a month, but yet makes such a irrational decision, but her two children (4&6) has never met or heard of this guy, but yet she trust this guy enough to move her children in a strangers house). She said she is moving in with him, they already leased a apartment while she was their that weekend, she quit her job, pulled her daughter out of school, bought flight tickets, and gave the landlord 30 days notice 25 days ago!!!!. You gave landlord 30 day notice?!? So I had 5 days to move and vacate house, and found new place to live.
I could get over loosing my girlfriend but I knew and raised her children since infants, who call me dad and say they love me and gave me hug and kiss every night when I tucked them in. The kids don't understand, and they think I'm moving with them, and they keep begging me to pleas move with them.....I can only tell them I would honestly love nothing more, and I really hope your mother explains what is going on. I been moved out for a few days, and every night I think of them, it's really gut wrenching, knowing I will never see them kids again, I get so emotional looking at the bday cards that they hand made each year for me, brings me to tears. I never had a problem getting over girlfriends after break ups but never had children involve, and even though they might not be mine biologically....they are a part of me.
you over again if you let her.
As a father this just makes me well up inside. I know they're not biological but living with them and taking care of them since they were infants? You must be incredibly attached. Just thinking about someone taking my daughter so suddenly with little chance to see her again is probably the most depressing thing I could think of.