[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. Did you hear about how quick the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
A. He's all right now.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Q. Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
A. He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A. A nervous wreck.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. Where do you find a no legged dog?
A. Right where you left him.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?
A. Ugly sheep.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. They're trying to get away from the noise.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
A. They both circle Uranus looking for Black Holes.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. How do you double the value of a Geo Metro?
A. Fill it with gas.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.[/FONT]
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[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan.[/FONT]