Illini Jeeper
CAGiversary!
Saw this on Fark and had to share. Holy hell is it funny.
[Media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTDpH6vRXFk[/Media]
[Media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTDpH6vRXFk[/Media]
Here are excerpts from the brief prepared by Mike Stefani, the attorney in the police whistle-blowers lawsuit, quoting alleged text messages exchanged by Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and Christine Beatty about their relationship:
Sept. 9, 2002
Kilpatrick to Beatty: "Everything is cool. Did you get busted? (Sentence deleted)"
Beatty: "Oh, you got jokes? Actually I did get busted, which I was checking with you. I wanted to see if you had room on Leslie for me! LOL!"
Kilpatrick : "LOL LOL LOL! Not on Leslie but anywhere else you want to stay. LOL."
Beatty: "LOL, LOL! Dang, you wouldn't take me into your home? You told me the other day that you would (do) anything for me. What happened? LOL."
Kilpatrick: "LOL LOL LOL! Not the famous flip again. It's still anything! It should be with reason necessity. If you really need to stay with me, it's on. In this case, we can find somewhere else. LOL. I could even speed up Oak Drive."
Beatty: "LOL! That was a good answer! 'Reason necessity', I like it! LOL. I don't think I'm in danger of getting put out just yet, but I'll keep you updated, LOL. I am getting all of my two-waying out now because I know this evening you will be unavailable."
Beatty: "Have a good evening. I'm trying real hard not to be jealous knowing that you are about to spend a romantic evening with your wife. Had to get that off my chest. I hope you guys have a good time."
Sept. 15, 2002
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "I'll see you tomorrow."
Kilpatrick: "No, why?"
Beatty: "I'm on my way to your room now but by the time you get there I'll be sleep and it will be 5 am!"
Sept. 19, 2002
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "Thank you. I have wanted to hold you so badly all day, but I was trying to stay focused on work. So, I promise, not to keep you longer than 15 minutes."
Sept. 23, 2002
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "I love you so much man! Thank you for showing what it's like to be head over heels in love."
Oct. 3, 2002
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "... In case you haven't noticed, I am madly in love with you too! More and more everyday! I can't believe how much more it grows. Is there a limit?"
Oct. 3, 2002
Kilpatrick to Beatty: "Not till death do us part."
Oct. 3, 2002
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "Wow! I'll buy that."
April 1, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "I know you're having a very important meeting with Pat Turner. LOL but I want to tell you I miss you anyway. I mean I really do. I want you to come and hold me in your arms right now."
Beatty: "LOL! No. But I will. Movie? Are you on a date with your wife? Oooo I'm jealous. I'm a little to into you these past few days."
April 6, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "I love you so much. Thank you for coming to see me. I was very happy to see you."
Kilpatrick: "Love you too. I realize more everyday how much. You look real good, by the way. See you tomorrow."
April 7, 2003
Lou Beatty to Christine Beatty: "How is your day? It's amazing how you can go out of town, come back refreshed and I immediately piss you off. WRG socks, pan outside, WRG paper towel. You had an attitude until KK came over. Then you were smiling. Wish you smiled at me like that."
April 8, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "Hey baby, I'm on my way to bed so I won't get to talk to you tonight. I love you! Will you plan our night soon. Don't meet Serena and fall in love and leave me while your in L.A. LOL"
Beatty: "My baby wanted to see you. I was trying to make it happen before we went to the dentist."
Kilpatrick: "Come on momma."
Beatty: "Thanks for that."
Kilpatrick: "I enjoy that. I might be there stepdad one day."
Beatty: "Why might? What happened to "not yet"? LOL. One of my theme songs for you just came on. 'Love of my life.' "
April 12, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "Love you so much!"
Kilpatrick: "Love you too!"
April 13, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "It is sometimes so amazing how much I love you. I can't even describe most of the time how I feel inside when I think about you. You are an amazing man. Everything about you makes me love you. Your passion about life, your sense of humor, your presence, and your love of family. TBC (To be continued)."
Beatty: "All those things and more make up the love of my life. Kwame Malik Kilpatrick. I have so much admiration and appreciation for you. You are like a dream in my life and I can't believe sometimes that our friendship is real."
Beatty: "Thank you for fifteen plus years of friendship. Thank you for loving me!"
April 27, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "No response needed to this, but when held me in your arms and looked me in my eyes and said I was your woman. All was right with the world. I love you."
Kilpatrick: "Damn! Thank you."
Beatty: "Can you promise me that I will always be that?"
Kilpatrick: "You were my girl for as long as I can remember. I was too young and stupid to know. I promise for the rest of my life you will be my girl."
(At the end of April 2003, Christine Beatty left her husband and moved into her own apartment.)
May 1, 2003
Beatty to Kilpatrick: "... I have an insecure thing going on with you right now and I know exactly where it came from. Kind of started when you got back from your trip and I couldn't see you. TBC... Then we the separation thing with Lou and I really kicked in, and we had our conversation at dinner at Tom's. it kind of escalated. When I told you started singing 'A stranger's love', and I told you that you seemed that kind of man who be married to your wife forever, you kind of nodded like 'yep', TBC... I was really kind of trippin after that because of two reasons. I can't see living this way with us being a 'secret' forever. I love you so much and I want to tell somebody, someday! (Smile). Secondly, this separation and it kind of slapped 'lonely' in my mind...when you didn't come on Saturday until 3 hours later, that just kind of topped it off for me. So I'm sorry if I've been trippin. I could only two way this! I couldn't have said it to you personally!"
Kilpatrick: In this important and somewhat confusing time in your life, please know with all our hearts and soul that I love you. And you will never, never be alone. TBC."