My plan for Iraq

VanillaGorilla

VanillaGorilla

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I was thinking today of how we could fix this whole situation in Iraq. Here's my idea:

Grizzly Bears.

I say, round up the best DNR and Wildlife Marshalls in the country, send them all up to Alaska, and give them some non-lethal weapons. All for the sole purpose of hunting natures current killing machine: the grizzly bear. Capture about 500 to 1,000 grizzly bears, or any other type of huge, flesh hungry bear. Sedate them, load them onto cargo planes, strap parachutes onto their backs, and fly them over to Iraq. After you get into Iraqi airspace, push the bears out of the planes. They will surely awake while in the air, pissed off that they are now being dropped into the battle.

Sure, bears might not have great skills when it comes to fighting the insurgents, but wouldn't the sight of f*cking Grizzly Bears parachuting down from the sky be enough to scare these people into surrendering?

Heck, you could make a fundraiser out of all this. Send Dennis Leary and Danny Glover over their, shoot some video, call it "Operation Grizzly Drop", throw it into theaters, and give the box office proceeds to the families of troops.

A perfect plan, no doubt.
 
It's already been done. At least, if you ask nearly any liberal democrat, the US armed forces are the bears and we dropped them in 3 years ago.
 
I have an opinion about what should be done to a president (or anyone) that would authorize throwing bears out of planes into a war zone. But the SS is targeting people for songs, so I'll just leave it to your imagination.
 
[quote name='bmulligan']heck, just throwing danny glover and dennis leary out of a plane over there might scare them into surrendering.[/QUOTE]
It's been tried before, it didn't work
Operation_Dumbo_Drop.jpg
 
How about we focus on protecting the oil fields and pipelines and let the Iraqs kill each other off, Muslims seem to be pretty good at doing that.
 
Here's what we do:

1. Send free plane tickets to the Bahamas to all the insurgents.

2. Put snakes on their planes

3. Put insurgents on planes.

4. Fly planes somewhere over the Atlantic.

5. Release snakes.

6. Hope Sam Jackson isn't on board.
 
[quote name='evanft']Here's what we do:

1. Send free plane tickets to the Bahamas to all the insurgents.

2. Put snakes on their planes

3. Put insurgents on planes.

4. Fly planes somewhere over the Atlantic.

5. Release snakes.

6. Hope Sam Jackson isn't on board.[/quote]

I was wondering how long this'd go on before someone referenced "Snakes on a Plane." I commend you, evanft. :applause:
 
[quote name='1modernboy']I was wondering how long this'd go on before someone referenced "Snakes on a Plane." I commend you, evanft. :applause:[/QUOTE]


Thanks. Here's more:
s640x4801ro.jpg
 
That 'Snakes on a Plane' shit is hilarious to me. But give it a while. It's going to get old reaalllllyyy fast.
 
[quote name='djkunai']A RADIOACTIVE grizzly bear with a chainsaw, now there's a killing machine.[/QUOTE]


Touched that up for you.
 
[quote name='munch']That 'Snakes on a Plane' shit is hilarious to me. But give it a while. It's going to get old reaalllllyyy fast.[/QUOTE]

Genius NEVER gets old.
 
Gather up all the crackheads in america, ship them all to Iraq... give them a list of heads to rip off, and when they bring them to you... give them a lifetime supply of crack.
 
Build a flux capacitor, put it in a DeLorean, go back and take Sandra Day O'Conner to the present, then take her back to her time in hopes of stopping the Supreme Court from annoiting Dubya in 2000.
 
[quote name='munch']That 'Snakes on a Plane' shit is hilarious to me. But give it a while. It's going to get old reaalllllyyy fast.[/quote]

Much like Chuck Norris…
 
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