*NEW UPDATE, Now Techno tracks* Sony Press Conference in 1 minute.
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Purple Flames
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Reality's Fringe;1907510 said:
Perfect
MarioColbert
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I know some people here who, in a typical fashion tend to become offended at mere words. Words, like "fanboy," "loser," "nintendo-lover," and the ever-classic "Wii-Meister." This video once again shows, that Nintendo fans have nothing better to do than harass the genius that was Sony's Press Conference.
I understand that most of you here are Americans, and have little actual knowledge of the japanese history. Perhaps because of that very fact you do not know that Japan is actually an island. And islands, last I have checked have beaches. And upon the beaches there live creatures known as Crabs (or "kurabu" as we had to spell it in my Japanese class). Now, unlike you I have learned Japanese to play Final Fantasy games before they were released in the United States. Unfortunately, due to the complexity of the language, and due to the fact that Final Fantasy did not come to the United States until the Final Fantasy VII game (any PlayStation fan knows that!) I have failed to do that. But I do know a thing or two (or maybe even three, if editing this in retrospect) about crabs. Those things are the following:
1. The crabs taste delicious in crab cakes at the Boston Legal Sea Foods, but they are ridiculously priced even for capitalism!
2. They are an integral part of the Japanese War History.
3. Back in the day people thought they were real. The People's Republic of Japan has not changed that belief to this very day.
Henceforth, I am issuing a first official MarioColbert(TM) warning to the makers and spreaders of this illicit Sony Confence video. (This is the most real internet warning that you can get.) Sure, every time Nintendo brings forth MARIO, Nintendo fans applaud, as if we have not seen red caps and mustache styles before... Yet when Sony brings back a true classic, a game that has defined generations of gamers, a game that had caused a revolution in gameplay, graphics, and design... A game so slick and amazing, that no MARIO can compare, even if he does bring that Luigi fellow (both communists!) along to battle. I'm talking, of course, about RidgeRacer. You are forgetting your roots, WiiNazis! You are forgetting the games, the existence of which had made your life possible. Like RidgeRacer, and ancient arts of Crab Fighting.
I've just been informed by my informer that Mario and Luigi are supposedly BROTHERS. Brothers are either "friendly name for black people," "members of the german band Rammstein," or something else that deals with homosexuality, that I had to shield my eyes away from. I'll give you a hint as to where I am going with it: Mario and Luigi ARE NOT BLACK.
Think about it. I haven't.
I understand that most of you here are Americans, and have little actual knowledge of the japanese history. Perhaps because of that very fact you do not know that Japan is actually an island. And islands, last I have checked have beaches. And upon the beaches there live creatures known as Crabs (or "kurabu" as we had to spell it in my Japanese class). Now, unlike you I have learned Japanese to play Final Fantasy games before they were released in the United States. Unfortunately, due to the complexity of the language, and due to the fact that Final Fantasy did not come to the United States until the Final Fantasy VII game (any PlayStation fan knows that!) I have failed to do that. But I do know a thing or two (or maybe even three, if editing this in retrospect) about crabs. Those things are the following:
1. The crabs taste delicious in crab cakes at the Boston Legal Sea Foods, but they are ridiculously priced even for capitalism!
2. They are an integral part of the Japanese War History.
3. Back in the day people thought they were real. The People's Republic of Japan has not changed that belief to this very day.
Henceforth, I am issuing a first official MarioColbert(TM) warning to the makers and spreaders of this illicit Sony Confence video. (This is the most real internet warning that you can get.) Sure, every time Nintendo brings forth MARIO, Nintendo fans applaud, as if we have not seen red caps and mustache styles before... Yet when Sony brings back a true classic, a game that has defined generations of gamers, a game that had caused a revolution in gameplay, graphics, and design... A game so slick and amazing, that no MARIO can compare, even if he does bring that Luigi fellow (both communists!) along to battle. I'm talking, of course, about RidgeRacer. You are forgetting your roots, WiiNazis! You are forgetting the games, the existence of which had made your life possible. Like RidgeRacer, and ancient arts of Crab Fighting.
I've just been informed by my informer that Mario and Luigi are supposedly BROTHERS. Brothers are either "friendly name for black people," "members of the german band Rammstein," or something else that deals with homosexuality, that I had to shield my eyes away from. I'll give you a hint as to where I am going with it: Mario and Luigi ARE NOT BLACK.
Think about it. I haven't.
Reality's Fringe
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[quote name='TimPV3']It only had Ridge Racer twice 
[/QUOTE]
But it had horn! HONK! Didn't realize it, but there are a good deal more of these now.
Mario Colbert scares and titillates me. His knowledge of GIANT ENEMY CRABS which must be hit for MASSIVE DAMAGE is beyond my own meager comprehending.
[/QUOTE] But it had horn! HONK! Didn't realize it, but there are a good deal more of these now. Mario Colbert scares and titillates me. His knowledge of GIANT ENEMY CRABS which must be hit for MASSIVE DAMAGE is beyond my own meager comprehending.
A
Apossum
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I hope the giant enemy crab becomes an unlockable car in riiiiiidge racer.
Think about it....a giant enemy crab is cool, yes, but imagine if it started honking.
so they're in Rammstein??? craziness!
Think about it....a giant enemy crab is cool, yes, but imagine if it started honking.
so they're in Rammstein??? craziness!
MarioColbert
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Reality's Fringe;1907862 said:
Please remove any breast-related sexual innuendos from here, because that offends children and/or grandparents!!! I did nothing of the sort, I have touched not your little hard nipples! Cease and desist now, or I will tell my uncle who ownes some AOL Shares, and he will make this very forum dissapear. HE KNOWS PHP AND HE IS NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
I am, you see, a MAN. You don't want nothing titillating to occur from my side, I assure you. This is not Brokeback Gamer. We are not cowboys.
Hard love.
basketkase543
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[quote name='MarioColbert']due to the fact that Final Fantasy did not come to the United States until the Final Fantasy VII game (any PlayStation fan knows that!) I have failed to do that.[/QUOTE]
...
If there was sarcasm there, i completely missed it.
...
If there was sarcasm there, i completely missed it.
MarioColbert
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[quote name='yukine']You're trying way too hard to be funny, MarioColbert. It ruins the effect.[/quote]
Moderators: Ban this person based on slander and defamation of character. I mean that. Immediately.
Moderators: Ban this person based on slander and defamation of character. I mean that. Immediately.
Dr Mario Kart
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Came as quick as I could, I heard Jack Thompson had an alt here.
MarioColbert
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[quote name='Tybee']Mario Colbert's bit was good, but made everyone uncomfortable. More people laughed at the Kaz Hirai impersonator.[/quote]
Impersonator: "Okay I can do this: Remember this old classic? Remember this old classic? Here's something from the old days! This is one of my favorite classics... Remember this old classic?"
Kaz Hirai: RIIIIIIDGE RACER!!!!
Man, was THAT a classic!
Impersonator: "Okay I can do this: Remember this old classic? Remember this old classic? Here's something from the old days! This is one of my favorite classics... Remember this old classic?"
Kaz Hirai: RIIIIIIDGE RACER!!!!
Man, was THAT a classic!
MarioColbert
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There is something that Sony has that you Nintendo guys do not. And that is: hot and voluptious female avatars. Let's take a look at that spectaculat titilage that has been provided to you by Sony's showcase at E3...
Ah, that footage gets better and better every time I see it. You know, there is nothing that I love more than be reminded by a video game company, that the stereotype that I am supposed to fit in is that of a man who likes watching half-naked women battle. Mostly, because I buy games to become a competing virtuoso with Skinflute as my concentration.
XBox360 had something that also caught my attention. It was a game called Gears of War. Now, I am completely serious about this: this is a MAN'S game. Saving the princess? SISSY PANSY. Did you see the size of the armor? That is the body men strive for: the one that is so obnoxiously huge that the little pellett that is your head is barely visible. It's sole purpose is to provide creative dialogue:
"WHERE DO WE GO?"
"AARRHHHGHHGHGHH!"
Yes.
yes. If there is ever going to be Passion of the Christ II: Say Hello To My Little Friend, I hope they will feature the armor and/or dialogue.
And then we have... Nintendo? Have you see Wii Sports? It looks like a game with photo-realistic versions of the Simpsons characters: big ass heads that look like old school televition sets and/or legos. Clothing actually covers most of their private parts. Last I checked, the breasts do not jiggle.
Therefore, I point your attention to the things that matter most, and do not try to talk about "innovation" and other things that are distracting to me. If Wii wants to actually compete in modern day video game market they should have:
1. Big Titty / Small Waist / Half Naked / FIGHTING woman featured in one or more games.
2. Dress up mario in an old school Russian Cosmonaut's spacesuit. Arm him with a few laser cannons and substitute "Stars" with "Nipples"
3. Have people scream. I like me a good holler when I'm making my giraffe vomit.
4. Feature a code that enables Link to rape Zelda using Navi's aphrodesiac powers.
5. Make sure that the price of Wii is at very least $700. You don't really "compete" fairly if you're cheaper than everyone else. If Nintendo was a whore in LA, she'd be killed by Sony's Pimp as soon as the remote control was announced.
Last but not least, it is still not too late to change the name guys. This is how it works: PlayStation, GameCube, DreamCast, XBox: a pattern emerges. You need some sort of a "polyhedral of 8 corners" word that also works with "sci-fi B-movie crowd." Wii is fine, yet it's missing a suffix. If it was up to me, it would be called WiiTron: The Penis Mightier.
Ah, that footage gets better and better every time I see it. You know, there is nothing that I love more than be reminded by a video game company, that the stereotype that I am supposed to fit in is that of a man who likes watching half-naked women battle. Mostly, because I buy games to become a competing virtuoso with Skinflute as my concentration.
XBox360 had something that also caught my attention. It was a game called Gears of War. Now, I am completely serious about this: this is a MAN'S game. Saving the princess? SISSY PANSY. Did you see the size of the armor? That is the body men strive for: the one that is so obnoxiously huge that the little pellett that is your head is barely visible. It's sole purpose is to provide creative dialogue:
"WHERE DO WE GO?"
"AARRHHHGHHGHGHH!"
Yes.
yes. If there is ever going to be Passion of the Christ II: Say Hello To My Little Friend, I hope they will feature the armor and/or dialogue.And then we have... Nintendo? Have you see Wii Sports? It looks like a game with photo-realistic versions of the Simpsons characters: big ass heads that look like old school televition sets and/or legos. Clothing actually covers most of their private parts. Last I checked, the breasts do not jiggle.
Therefore, I point your attention to the things that matter most, and do not try to talk about "innovation" and other things that are distracting to me. If Wii wants to actually compete in modern day video game market they should have:
1. Big Titty / Small Waist / Half Naked / FIGHTING woman featured in one or more games.
2. Dress up mario in an old school Russian Cosmonaut's spacesuit. Arm him with a few laser cannons and substitute "Stars" with "Nipples"
3. Have people scream. I like me a good holler when I'm making my giraffe vomit.
4. Feature a code that enables Link to rape Zelda using Navi's aphrodesiac powers.
5. Make sure that the price of Wii is at very least $700. You don't really "compete" fairly if you're cheaper than everyone else. If Nintendo was a whore in LA, she'd be killed by Sony's Pimp as soon as the remote control was announced.
Last but not least, it is still not too late to change the name guys. This is how it works: PlayStation, GameCube, DreamCast, XBox: a pattern emerges. You need some sort of a "polyhedral of 8 corners" word that also works with "sci-fi B-movie crowd." Wii is fine, yet it's missing a suffix. If it was up to me, it would be called WiiTron: The Penis Mightier.
GTmaster39
CAGiversary!
[quote name='MarioColbert']There is something that Sony has that you Nintendo guys do not. And that is: hot and voluptious female avatars. Let's take a look at that spectaculat titilage that has been provided to you by Sony's showcase at E3...
Ah, that footage gets better and better every time I see it. You know, there is nothing that I love more than be reminded by a video game company, that the stereotype that I am supposed to fit in is that of a man who likes watching half-naked women battle. Mostly, because I buy games to become a competing virtuoso with Skinflute as my concentration.
XBox360 had something that also caught my attention. It was a game called Gears of War. Now, I am completely serious about this: this is a MAN'S game. Saving the princess? SISSY PANSY. Did you see the size of the armor? That is the body men strive for: the one that is so obnoxiously huge that the little pellett that is your head is barely visible. It's sole purpose is to provide creative dialogue:
"WHERE DO WE GO?"
"AARRHHHGHHGHGHH!"
Yes. yes. If there is ever going to be Passion of the Christ II: Say Hello To My Little Friend, I hope they will feature the armor and/or dialogue.
And then we have... Nintendo? Have you see Wii Sports? It looks like a game with photo-realistic versions of the Simpsons characters: big ass heads that look like old school televition sets and/or legos. Clothing actually covers most of their private parts. Last I checked, the breasts do not jiggle.
Therefore, I point your attention to the things that matter most, and do not try to talk about "innovation" and other things that are distracting to me. If Wii wants to actually compete in modern day video game market they should have:
1. Big Titty / Small Waist / Half Naked / FIGHTING woman featured in one or more games.
2. Dress up mario in an old school Russian Cosmonaut's spacesuit. Arm him with a few laser cannons and substitute "Stars" with "Nipples"
3. Have people scream. I like me a good holler when I'm making my giraffe vomit.
4. Feature a code that enables Link to rape Zelda using Navi's aphrodesiac powers.
5. Make sure that the price of Wii is at very least $700. You don't really "compete" fairly if you're cheaper than everyone else. If Nintendo was a whore in LA, she'd be killed by Sony's Pimp as soon as the remote control was announced.
Last but not least, it is still not too late to change the name guys. This is how it works: PlayStation, GameCube, DreamCast, XBox: a pattern emerges. You need some sort of a "polyhedral of 8 corners" word that also works with "sci-fi B-movie crowd." Wii is fine, yet it's missing a suffix. If it was up to me, it would be called WiiTron: The Penis Mightier.[/QUOTE]
amazing.
Ah, that footage gets better and better every time I see it. You know, there is nothing that I love more than be reminded by a video game company, that the stereotype that I am supposed to fit in is that of a man who likes watching half-naked women battle. Mostly, because I buy games to become a competing virtuoso with Skinflute as my concentration.
XBox360 had something that also caught my attention. It was a game called Gears of War. Now, I am completely serious about this: this is a MAN'S game. Saving the princess? SISSY PANSY. Did you see the size of the armor? That is the body men strive for: the one that is so obnoxiously huge that the little pellett that is your head is barely visible. It's sole purpose is to provide creative dialogue:
"WHERE DO WE GO?"
"AARRHHHGHHGHGHH!"
Yes.
yes. If there is ever going to be Passion of the Christ II: Say Hello To My Little Friend, I hope they will feature the armor and/or dialogue.And then we have... Nintendo? Have you see Wii Sports? It looks like a game with photo-realistic versions of the Simpsons characters: big ass heads that look like old school televition sets and/or legos. Clothing actually covers most of their private parts. Last I checked, the breasts do not jiggle.
Therefore, I point your attention to the things that matter most, and do not try to talk about "innovation" and other things that are distracting to me. If Wii wants to actually compete in modern day video game market they should have:
1. Big Titty / Small Waist / Half Naked / FIGHTING woman featured in one or more games.
2. Dress up mario in an old school Russian Cosmonaut's spacesuit. Arm him with a few laser cannons and substitute "Stars" with "Nipples"
3. Have people scream. I like me a good holler when I'm making my giraffe vomit.
4. Feature a code that enables Link to rape Zelda using Navi's aphrodesiac powers.
5. Make sure that the price of Wii is at very least $700. You don't really "compete" fairly if you're cheaper than everyone else. If Nintendo was a whore in LA, she'd be killed by Sony's Pimp as soon as the remote control was announced.
Last but not least, it is still not too late to change the name guys. This is how it works: PlayStation, GameCube, DreamCast, XBox: a pattern emerges. You need some sort of a "polyhedral of 8 corners" word that also works with "sci-fi B-movie crowd." Wii is fine, yet it's missing a suffix. If it was up to me, it would be called WiiTron: The Penis Mightier.[/QUOTE]
amazing.
[quote name='MarioColbert']And then we have... Nintendo? Have you see Wii Sports? It looks like a game with photo-realistic versions of the Simpsons characters: big ass heads that look like old school televition sets and/or legos. Clothing actually covers most of their private parts. Last I checked, the breasts do not jiggle.[/QUOTE]
[Flabbergasted] Are you suggesting, that Marge Simpson is not a STONE COLD FOX? At long last, have you no decency, sir?
[Flabbergasted] Are you suggesting, that Marge Simpson is not a STONE COLD FOX? At long last, have you no decency, sir?
Metal Boss
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The first video was good, second was kind of overdoing it, and was less funny. RIIIDGE RACER, will always be a classic though, i'm going to make a techno song out of it and listen to it while I play the game.
[quote name='trunks982']check out this YTMND ridge racer with lex luthor
http://lexluthor.ytmnd.com/[/quote] :lol:
Great stuff.
http://lexluthor.ytmnd.com/[/quote] :lol:
Great stuff.
Reality's Fringe
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OP updated bitches. It hasn't died QUITE yet. Now with tecnho songs.
I AM WILLIAM H. MACY
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Edit one where he says "The essence of the Playstation DNA is Ridge Racer!" and "Take a look at Ridge Racer on Playstation 3, which will become available in multiple versions including Ridge Racer! and RIIIIIIIIDGE RAACER!" and "Genji 2 is a giant enemy crab" and "The future becomes RIIIIDGE RACER!" and "Giant enemy crab and Ridge Racer! will retail for 599 US dollars" and then end it with "And we're certainly not interested in massive damage"
-Never4ever-
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[quote name='trunks982']check out this YTMND ridge racer with lex luthor
http://lexluthor.ytmnd.com/[/QUOTE]
High-larious. :lol: at Lex screaming NOOO! at the end.
http://lexluthor.ytmnd.com/[/QUOTE]
High-larious. :lol: at Lex screaming NOOO! at the end.
Metal Boss
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That techno is pretty funny.
Metal Boss
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bread's done