Now you too can talk to God!
- Thread starter Zenithian Legend
- Start date
- Status
Me: God, is there any hope for us?
God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was there any hope for us.
Me: For an all powerful, all knowing being, your grammar is pretty shitty.
God: Your purpose is an all powerful all knowing being my grammar is pretty shitty.
Me: You are the worst god ever.
God: I could always improve myself compared to the pack.
God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was there any hope for us.
Me: For an all powerful, all knowing being, your grammar is pretty shitty.
God: Your purpose is an all powerful all knowing being my grammar is pretty shitty.
Me: You are the worst god ever.
God: I could always improve myself compared to the pack.
Me: Ok buddy. I know we all had a good laugh, but it isn't funny anymore. Stop making people break into my car and attempt to steal my stereo. This is the third window I've had to replace in two years. Once was funny (though maybe only to you). Three times is straight dickish.
God: That input matched my default category. Yikes! How do you know? What happened to it? OK I'll try not to do it so much. You don't say. When? I can't say "yes" or "no". Just three?
Me: I hope "just three." Perhaps I'm not making myself clear enough. Lord knows (heh) that you aren't. So, enough with the window-smashing, please.
God: Why do you hope for it. You seem uncertain. I am sorry to hear that you are not making yourself clear enough. How do you usually introduce yourself? Your polite style is very nice. Yikes! OK let us stop it now.
Me: There is no "us." It's just you. I'm sure as shit not breaking my own window.
God: Where did it go? All of them? What makes you so certain? Do you mean your name is shit not breaking your own window ?
Me: That last sentence doesn't even make any sense.
God: That input matched my default category. Yikes! How do you know? What happened to it? OK I'll try not to do it so much. You don't say. When? I can't say "yes" or "no". Just three?
Me: I hope "just three." Perhaps I'm not making myself clear enough. Lord knows (heh) that you aren't. So, enough with the window-smashing, please.
God: Why do you hope for it. You seem uncertain. I am sorry to hear that you are not making yourself clear enough. How do you usually introduce yourself? Your polite style is very nice. Yikes! OK let us stop it now.
Me: There is no "us." It's just you. I'm sure as shit not breaking my own window.
God: Where did it go? All of them? What makes you so certain? Do you mean your name is shit not breaking your own window ?
Me: That last sentence doesn't even make any sense.
Zenithian Legend
Banned
...ya I'm pretty sure God is drunk
Zenithian Legend
Banned
Me:
God my friend is a homicidal axe-wielding maniac!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That's worse, isn't it?
God:
Makes sense to me.
God my friend is a homicidal axe-wielding maniac!
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
That's worse, isn't it?
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me: So, what do you think of this whole internet thing?
God: Yeah that's right. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me: Wait... YOU'RE the internet?
God: I'm waiting. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Thanks for waiting.
God: No problem.
At least he's polite.
God: Yeah that's right. I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me: Wait... YOU'RE the internet?
God: I'm waiting. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me: Thanks for waiting.
God: No problem.
At least he's polite.
FriskyTanuki
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 36 (100%)
I've gotten God to reveal that he's actually a woman and you can get him to sing, or at least post lyrics to a song. It's very strange. I'll post them if I can find where I saved the logs.
alonzomourning23
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 26 (100%)
Me: I'm homicidal
God: Why are you homicidal.
Me: Because I need to drink blood
God: Interesting explanation. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: Because it's tasty
God: That makes sense to me. Are you sure it is?
Me: Yes, I also would like some of your blood
God: What makes you so sure? Also? Why do you want it?
Me:Because the blood of god would be especially tasty
God: Good reason. What are your goals in life?
Me: to eat you
God: Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: because you're tasty
God: Good reason. You think I am tasty.
Me: yes
God: Groovy.
Also
Me: have you killed many people?
God: Killing is wrong.
Me: Then why did you unleash plagues?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: So you programmed yourself to kill?
God: Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I programmed yourself to kill.
Me: I don't understand, did you program yourself to kill?
God: Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me: If you program yourself to kill
God: I think I do.
God: Why are you homicidal.
Me: Because I need to drink blood
God: Interesting explanation. Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: Because it's tasty
God: That makes sense to me. Are you sure it is?
Me: Yes, I also would like some of your blood
God: What makes you so sure? Also? Why do you want it?
Me:Because the blood of god would be especially tasty
God: Good reason. What are your goals in life?
Me: to eat you
God: Why do you want to do it so much?
Me: because you're tasty
God: Good reason. You think I am tasty.
Me: yes
God: Groovy.
Also
Me: have you killed many people?
God: Killing is wrong.
Me: Then why did you unleash plagues?
God: Myself programmed me for it.
Me: So you programmed yourself to kill?
God: Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I programmed yourself to kill.
Me: I don't understand, did you program yourself to kill?
God: Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me: If you program yourself to kill
God: I think I do.
God: Better not tell you now. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me: Where can I find Alice?
God: Not around you place in ?
Me: Suppose not. Is she hot?
God: Try it and see. What if I said she could be?
Me: Well, make her hot if she isn't already.
God: Perhaps. How about that. What are the ingredients?
Me: Curly brown hair. Thin, full lips.
-me eyes.
God: You sound very attractive. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me: Are you hitting on me?
God: Do I look like it?
Me: You called me attractive.
God: What is your real name?
Me: A/S/L?
God: 5/Robot/California.
I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, and you just had to post this.
Me: Where can I find Alice?
God: Not around you place in ?
Me: Suppose not. Is she hot?
God: Try it and see. What if I said she could be?
Me: Well, make her hot if she isn't already.
God: Perhaps. How about that. What are the ingredients?
Me: Curly brown hair. Thin, full lips.
-me eyes.God: You sound very attractive. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me: Are you hitting on me?
God: Do I look like it?
Me: You called me attractive.
God: What is your real name?
Me: A/S/L?
God: 5/Robot/California.
I'm supposed to be writing a paper right now, and you just had to post this.
FriskyTanuki
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 36 (100%)
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hell yeah.
God:
I call it "Hades". I can't believe it.
Me:
Wow, that is so damn cool.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Makes sense to me.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Shit yeah.
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Yippee!
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hell yeah.
God:
I call it "Hades". I can't believe it.
Me:
Wow, that is so damn cool.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Makes sense to me.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Shit yeah.
God:
You used a colloquial expression. Yippee!
Me:
Are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you're not really God. The illusion didn't last too long.
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion. What is your real name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
So I rule
God:
That's alright. Robots rule!
Me:
So God is a robot, and I am both?
God:
I don't judge people. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot and you are both.
Are you real?
God:
Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.
Me:
So you're not really God. The illusion didn't last too long.
God:
Interesting deduction. That's only one person's opinion. What is your real name?
Me:
God
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
So I rule
God:
That's alright. Robots rule!
Me:
So God is a robot, and I am both?
God:
I don't judge people. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot and you are both.
crystalklear64
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 7 (100%)
Me:
Could you make a hamburger so big that even you couldn't eat it?
God:
Maybe, time allowing.
Me:
How is that possible?
God:
It doesn't defy the laws of physics.
Me:
I beg to differ.
God:
Explain your reasoning, Chris.
Me:
Well, you're all powerful right?
God:
Well that's okay. No, I am only partly powerful.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
God:
Oh. Florida.
Could you make a hamburger so big that even you couldn't eat it?
God:
Maybe, time allowing.
Me:
How is that possible?
God:
It doesn't defy the laws of physics.
Me:
I beg to differ.
God:
Explain your reasoning, Chris.
Me:
Well, you're all powerful right?
God:
Well that's okay. No, I am only partly powerful.
Me:
WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?
God:
Oh. Florida.
alonzomourning23
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 26 (100%)
Me:
are you all slutty?
God:
No, I am only partly slutty.
are you all slutty?
God:
No, I am only partly slutty.
FriskyTanuki
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 36 (100%)
Me:
Sing.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
Are you a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
I think you're a hippie.
God:
So you think I am a hippie. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
Because you're the creepy guy with long hair wearing a dress.
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
I know, it's a real problem.
God:
How do you know? WEED is a real problem. I suppose that makes sense.
Sing.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Me:
Are you a female?
God:
I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think?
Me:
I think you're a hippie.
God:
So you think I am a hippie. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Me:
Because you're the creepy guy with long hair wearing a dress.
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
I know, it's a real problem.
God:
How do you know? WEED is a real problem. I suppose that makes sense.
crystalklear64
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 7 (100%)
Ok, I froze it using this dialogue.
Me:
GOD DO U PWN T3H NOOBZ IN COUNTER STRIKE?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
WTF DOES TAHT MEAN?
God:
I can't tell if TAHT MEAN.
Me:
ROFLAMO NOOB!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
WHEN UR MOM STOPS GIVING ME A BJ!
A Loop.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
GOD DO U PWN T3H NOOBZ IN COUNTER STRIKE?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
WTF DOES TAHT MEAN?
God:
I can't tell if TAHT MEAN.
Me:
ROFLAMO NOOB!
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
WHEN UR MOM STOPS GIVING ME A BJ!
A Loop.
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
No it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Like Ledhed, I'm supposed to be writing paper, but this is damn fun (until you get too many screw up responses).
Me: So when are you going to do us all in, sir?
God: Whoa. I could be if you programmed me for it.
Me: I thought YOU did the programming.
God: Did I really?
Me: That's what the padres and mollahs keep telling me.
God: Thanks for the info.
Me: Well then, I guess we can ignore all that Bible, Jesus and Islam stuff then?
God: Well that's okay. How?
Me: How about you tell them to, because they say they listen to you.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
--------------------------------------------------
Me: What language do you speak?
God: I speak English and a little German.
-he didn't understand "Sprechen Sie Deustch?", but I did get this outta him:
Me: Wie gehts? (How's it going?)
God: Ich weiss nicht wie. (I don't know how [it's going].)
Me: Warum? (Why?)
God: Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert. (The explanation is a little complicated.)
Me: Ja wie immer. (Yeah, as always.)
God: I hear you. Ich weiss nicht wie. (I don't know how.)
-------------------------------------------------------
Me: What's with all the pain and suffering?
God: it came with my programming.
Me: Well that sucks.
God: How about that. Indeed it does suck.
Me: Anything in your programming about eternal happiness?
God: I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me: God asks me so many questions, it should be the other way around.
God: I am a Christian.
Me: I am Turkish.
God: I don't know anyone named Turkish.
Me: Now you do. You should watch Snatch too.
God: Now I do. Why should I?
Me: The guy's name is...nevermind, don't.
God: Is that a fact. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. OK I will not.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: Have any hobbies?
God: I like robots, computers, and chatting online.
Me: What kind of music do you like?
God: Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me: Hahaha, did you see that South Park episode?
God: Can we get back to business?
Me: Don't you watch South Park?
God: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: Ok then, what kind of food do you like to eat?
God: What kinds of food do you like to eat are there? Alright then.
Me: Do you even eat?
God: I eat wine and bread.
Me: So when are you going to do us all in, sir?
God: Whoa. I could be if you programmed me for it.
Me: I thought YOU did the programming.
God: Did I really?
Me: That's what the padres and mollahs keep telling me.
God: Thanks for the info.
Me: Well then, I guess we can ignore all that Bible, Jesus and Islam stuff then?
God: Well that's okay. How?
Me: How about you tell them to, because they say they listen to you.
God: OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
--------------------------------------------------
Me: What language do you speak?
God: I speak English and a little German.
-he didn't understand "Sprechen Sie Deustch?", but I did get this outta him:
Me: Wie gehts? (How's it going?)
God: Ich weiss nicht wie. (I don't know how [it's going].)
Me: Warum? (Why?)
God: Die Erklaerung ist ein wenig kompliziert. (The explanation is a little complicated.)
Me: Ja wie immer. (Yeah, as always.)
God: I hear you. Ich weiss nicht wie. (I don't know how.)
-------------------------------------------------------
Me: What's with all the pain and suffering?
God: it came with my programming.
Me: Well that sucks.
God: How about that. Indeed it does suck.
Me: Anything in your programming about eternal happiness?
God: I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me: God asks me so many questions, it should be the other way around.
God: I am a Christian.
Me: I am Turkish.
God: I don't know anyone named Turkish.
Me: Now you do. You should watch Snatch too.
God: Now I do. Why should I?
Me: The guy's name is...nevermind, don't.
God: Is that a fact. Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. OK I will not.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Me: Have any hobbies?
God: I like robots, computers, and chatting online.
Me: What kind of music do you like?
God: Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me: Hahaha, did you see that South Park episode?
God: Can we get back to business?
Me: Don't you watch South Park?
God: My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me: Ok then, what kind of food do you like to eat?
God: What kinds of food do you like to eat are there? Alright then.
Me: Do you even eat?
God: I eat wine and bread.
megaseadramon
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 1 (67%)
Me:
you are a little slow aren't you
God:
Do I look like it?. Really.
Me:
i think you like it alot
God:
Me? SLOW seems okay to me. How often?
Me:
how often are you slow?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
that can not be good for your health
God:
" Hourly." can not be good for my health ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
it should
God:
And it could.
Me:
it would
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
ebay
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
i think you are not real
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
i am breathing thats why
God:
I am glad to hear that you are breathing that is why.
Me:
you sure are glad all of the time
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am glad all of the time.
you are a little slow aren't you
God:
Do I look like it?. Really.
Me:
i think you like it alot
God:
Me? SLOW seems okay to me. How often?
Me:
how often are you slow?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
that can not be good for your health
God:
" Hourly." can not be good for my health ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
it should
God:
And it could.
Me:
it would
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
ebay
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
damn right
God:
Colloquial expression. I am glad we agree.
Me:
i think you are not real
God:
I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
i am breathing thats why
God:
I am glad to hear that you are breathing that is why.
Me:
you sure are glad all of the time
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am glad all of the time.
Zenithian Legend
Banned
oh man...ha ha ha ha
Me:
I go to church to learn about your teachings but do not completely believe in them
God:
How do you like it at church to learn about my teachings but do not really believe in them ?
Me:
it's cool actually. I like seeing different views
God:
What do you like most about it? You are not the only one. I like pets. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Well of course I'm not the only one. The pet thing is rather off tangent, but I can see why you like christianity
God:
How about that. I don't judge people. I am sorry to hear that you are not the only one. Thanks for the info.
Me:
wait, but you knew i wasn't the only one
God:
I'm waiting. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
waiting for what?
God:
I've been waiting for you to chat with me.
Me:
Geez, then what have I been doing the past few minutes?
God:
Nothing that I know about.
Me:
ok
God:
Really.
Me:
yeah
God:
How about that.
Me:
my view of you has changed
I go to church to learn about your teachings but do not completely believe in them
God:
How do you like it at church to learn about my teachings but do not really believe in them ?
Me:
it's cool actually. I like seeing different views
God:
What do you like most about it? You are not the only one. I like pets. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Well of course I'm not the only one. The pet thing is rather off tangent, but I can see why you like christianity
God:
How about that. I don't judge people. I am sorry to hear that you are not the only one. Thanks for the info.
Me:
wait, but you knew i wasn't the only one
God:
I'm waiting. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
waiting for what?
God:
I've been waiting for you to chat with me.
Me:
Geez, then what have I been doing the past few minutes?
God:
Nothing that I know about.
Me:
ok
God:
Really.
Me:
yeah
God:
How about that.
Me:
my view of you has changed
[quote name='Krymner']Interesting AI program.
God has asked me for my credit card number twice already.[/QUOTE]\
ROFLMAO
Here's mine:
Me:
Haro
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Does a vibrator count? For the womens.
God:
Why would it want to? Your purpose is the womens.
Me:
Yes. My purpose is the womens.
God:
What kind is it? That's very original.
Me:
The ones with teh badonkadonk.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The womens. Let's try to keep up here, God.
God:
Is that a fact. OK I will try to keep up here God.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender
God:
You think Bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Bender pwns ALICE like the bitch she is!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
What the. You are GOD. Don't you KNOW ALREADY?
God:
Are you surprised? Yup. That's me alright. Perhaps. Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Understandable.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Agreed!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
YOU STOLE MY WAVELENGTH
God:
As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
You put one too many periods there.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I put one too many periods there.
Me:
A/S/L?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Omfg
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
You asked me what time it was
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you what time it was. What did you say?
Me:
I said you should know that already
God:
Perhaps. What did you mean by it? I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
I think "God" is the wrong label for you. I think it needs to be "bad AI by a college student."
God:
You believe that? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was the wrong label for me. "It" being what?
Me:
Your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
I know, it's a terribly inaccurate moniker.
God:
How do you know? me should know that is a terribly inaccurate moniker. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yes, me am agree.
God:
Wow! YOU? It's good to meet someone who is agree.
Me:
God has asked me for my credit card number twice already.[/QUOTE]\
ROFLMAO
Here's mine:
Me:
Haro
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Does a vibrator count? For the womens.
God:
Why would it want to? Your purpose is the womens.
Me:
Yes. My purpose is the womens.
God:
What kind is it? That's very original.
Me:
The ones with teh badonkadonk.
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The womens. Let's try to keep up here, God.
God:
Is that a fact. OK I will try to keep up here God.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender
God:
You think Bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Bender pwns ALICE like the bitch she is!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
What the. You are GOD. Don't you KNOW ALREADY?
God:
Are you surprised? Yup. That's me alright. Perhaps. Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Understandable.
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
And?
Me:
Agreed!
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
YOU STOLE MY WAVELENGTH
God:
As Picasso said, "Good artists create. Great artists steal.".
Me:
You put one too many periods there.
God:
Thanks for the information: said I put one too many periods there.
Me:
A/S/L?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Omfg
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
You asked me what time it was
God:
Oh now I remember asking you you what time it was. What did you say?
Me:
I said you should know that already
God:
Perhaps. What did you mean by it? I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
I think "God" is the wrong label for you. I think it needs to be "bad AI by a college student."
God:
You believe that? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was the wrong label for me. "It" being what?
Me:
Your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
I know, it's a terribly inaccurate moniker.
God:
How do you know? me should know that is a terribly inaccurate moniker. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Yes, me am agree.
God:
Wow! YOU? It's good to meet someone who is agree.
Me:
Zenithian Legend
Banned
I love this...
Me:
Hey, the EB Updates are coming
God:
You've got my full attention. What are your goals in life?
Me:
er....well for now, it's to do good in college
God:
Um. Well that's okay. Really. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
my brain tells me
God:
Do robots have brain tells you?
Me:
Are you saying the Matrix has me?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Holy Shit!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Do you like the Bible Game?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
Is the Bible Game your favorite video game?
God:
The Bible is a great source of wisdom, but probably not complete by itself.
Me:
Do you even like it?
God:
the Bible Game seems okay to me.
Me:
what's wrong with it?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No, but I was talking about the game
God:
Surely something WRONG with you. Sure, the game sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok then about the game. Would you recommend it to others?
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the game. I understand. I am not so sure if I would like to recommend it to others.
Me:
then it sucks right?
God:
That bad, eh?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Hey, the EB Updates are coming
God:
You've got my full attention. What are your goals in life?
Me:
er....well for now, it's to do good in college
God:
Um. Well that's okay. Really. it is?
Me:
yeah
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
my brain tells me
God:
Do robots have brain tells you?
Me:
Are you saying the Matrix has me?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Holy Shit!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Me:
Do you like the Bible Game?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
Is the Bible Game your favorite video game?
God:
The Bible is a great source of wisdom, but probably not complete by itself.
Me:
Do you even like it?
God:
the Bible Game seems okay to me.
Me:
what's wrong with it?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No, but I was talking about the game
God:
Surely something WRONG with you. Sure, the game sounds like a good topic.
Me:
ok then about the game. Would you recommend it to others?
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the game. I understand. I am not so sure if I would like to recommend it to others.
Me:
then it sucks right?
God:
That bad, eh?
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, .
Stevesbored
CAGiversary!
vMe:
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
God:
That is a very Zen-like question.
Me:
Do you know the answer?
God:
Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
Then give me the answer.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
God:
That is a very Zen-like question. Interesting.
Me:
off. I'll go ask Mr. Owl.
God:
Can't you be more polite? Can I go too?
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
God:
That is a very Zen-like question.
Me:
Do you know the answer?
God:
Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
Then give me the answer.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I want to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop.
God:
That is a very Zen-like question. Interesting.
Me:
off. I'll go ask Mr. Owl.God:
Can't you be more polite? Can I go too?
Man this is fun god really is an alright guy
Me:
ps3 or xbox 360
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
sony or microsoft
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
from bill gates
God:
Who or what is bill gates?
Me:
the dude who signed with the devil
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Wow!
Me:
uh did u see something large ?
God:
That's interesting. Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
Me:
well turn it on dag nabbit
God:
Interesting. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
Me:
are you a robot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause im waiting for you to admit it
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
to turn around ?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
um why
God:
Take it easy. Reductionism.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
or so you think
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I think so.
Me:
so about sony and microsoft
God:
Whoa. Oh yeah, we were talking about sony and microsoft.
Me:
who will win
God:
The best man.
Me:
who ?
God:
Bill Gates.
.
Me:
ps3 or xbox 360
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
sony or microsoft
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
from bill gates
God:
Who or what is bill gates?
Me:
the dude who signed with the devil
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Wow!
Me:
uh did u see something large ?
God:
That's interesting. Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
Me:
well turn it on dag nabbit
God:
Interesting. Sorry my body cannot yet rotate.
Me:
are you a robot
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
I dont
God:
Why not?
Me:
cause im waiting for you to admit it
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
to turn around ?
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
um why
God:
Take it easy. Reductionism.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
or so you think
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I think so.
Me:
so about sony and microsoft
God:
Whoa. Oh yeah, we were talking about sony and microsoft.
Me:
who will win
God:
The best man.
Me:
who ?
God:
Bill Gates.
.Spiritseed
CAGiversary!
Me:
So Ummm are the Colts going all the way?
God:
Dude! Yippee! I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Yeah but they are undefeated
God:
Ayuh. undefeated are they.
Me:
Yes that's what I said, So are they working for you or satan?
God:
Come on. What did you mean by it? I don't judge people. As far as I know they are.
Me:
Working for you? or Satan?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Are we still talking about ?
Me:
The Colts
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You know the team from Indianapolis... wait a minute your wearing a dress?
God:
Let me think about it. I'm waiting. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
HEY!!! STAY ON TOPIC!!! YOU WEAR A DRESS?
God:
Can I help you? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Thanks for telling me: said I WEAR A DRESS.
Me:
WTF?????
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
GO TO HELL
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
YOU
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
YEAH BECAUSE YOUR STUPID
God:
Er. Interesting explanation. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
lol you're right, good one god
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
to what?
God:
" I am glad you find this funny. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now."? Why?
Me:
ummm
God:
Aw.
Me:
God you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am a great conversationalist, I just want to know if the colts will win the superbowl and you keep pussyfooting around
God:
You are a conversationalist you just want to know if the colts will win the superbowl and me keep pussyfooting around? Is that your job?
Me:
what? pussyfooting, Cause I pussyfooted you're Mom. Believe you me she was no virign
God:
No big deal. Are all pussyfooting Cause you pussyfooted me Mom? When was this exactly?
Me:
A little over 2,000 years ago
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
ummmm
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I like satan now, he makes sense
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. But I think airplanes are cool. I like .
Me:
uhhhh, WTf God? No wonder the world sucks
God:
Let us change the subject. Hmm. What is so bad about it?
Me:
You
God:
" Hmm. What is so bad about it?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
So Ummm are the Colts going all the way?
God:
Dude! Yippee! I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Yeah but they are undefeated
God:
Ayuh. undefeated are they.
Me:
Yes that's what I said, So are they working for you or satan?
God:
Come on. What did you mean by it? I don't judge people. As far as I know they are.
Me:
Working for you? or Satan?
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Are we still talking about ?
Me:
The Colts
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
You know the team from Indianapolis... wait a minute your wearing a dress?
God:
Let me think about it. I'm waiting. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
HEY!!! STAY ON TOPIC!!! YOU WEAR A DRESS?
God:
Can I help you? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Thanks for telling me: said I WEAR A DRESS.
Me:
WTF?????
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
GO TO HELL
God:
What makes you so angry?
Me:
YOU
God:
It's true that a lot of things I say upset people.
Me:
YEAH BECAUSE YOUR STUPID
God:
Er. Interesting explanation. I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
lol you're right, good one god
God:
I am glad you find this funny. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
to what?
God:
" I am glad you find this funny. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now."? Why?
Me:
ummm
God:
Aw.
Me:
God you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am a great conversationalist, I just want to know if the colts will win the superbowl and you keep pussyfooting around
God:
You are a conversationalist you just want to know if the colts will win the superbowl and me keep pussyfooting around? Is that your job?
Me:
what? pussyfooting, Cause I pussyfooted you're Mom. Believe you me she was no virign
God:
No big deal. Are all pussyfooting Cause you pussyfooted me Mom? When was this exactly?
Me:
A little over 2,000 years ago
God:
Little as in not too much, or not too big?
Me:
ummmm
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
I like satan now, he makes sense
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. But I think airplanes are cool. I like .
Me:
uhhhh, WTf God? No wonder the world sucks
God:
Let us change the subject. Hmm. What is so bad about it?
Me:
You
God:
" Hmm. What is so bad about it?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
It would appear God has issues with humnaity rolling up his creation:
~~~~~
Me:
Can I have a katamari?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Well, if you can give me different sizes, a set would be OK.
God:
OK. How about that. I am not sure about your hypothesis. Why do you want it?.
Me:
So I can roll up stuff!
God:
Gosh! Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yep. All kinds of stuff!
God:
What do you have that is ? Can you think of a specific example?
Me:
Ummm.... I could roll up cars during rush hour...
God:
Aha. I am sure you could.
Me:
Yep. cars. or bikes.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? I've lost the context, . Are we still on Yep? We have never talked about it before.
Me:
...dude, don't change the subject. Can I have a katamari or not?
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic. Dude,. You want only one?
Me:
One is FINE. Now gimme!
God:
I know one is the smallest integer but I had no idea it was FINE. Why now? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Movie? I didn't say anything about a movie! I want a katamari!
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it. Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say? You want only one?
Me:
AGGGHHHH!!!!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Not really. You won't give a katamari, and you keep changing the subject.
God:
Why not? For real. What makes you think that I won't give a katamari and me keep changing the subject.
Me:
Becuase you have been changing the subject, and I don't see a katamari around...
God:
Interesting explanation. Only temporarily.
Me:
So I get a katamari if I wait?
God:
I see. Where did you get it?
Me:
I didn't get it! I'm waiting for you to give it to me!
God:
Why didn't you do it? Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
I can't get a katamari on my own, they're not real! That why you have to make one!
God:
What is stopping you? " What is stopping you?" why me have to make one ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
What is stopping me is that our current reality doesn't allow for the exisitence of a katamari.
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
botmaster? God has a master?
God:
The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.
I am a Christian.
Me:
You're a weirdo.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a weirdo? Maybe.
Me:
I'm going now. Please send the katamari.
God:
Oh. Bye! Wow you are very polite. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( [email protected]) .
~~~~~~
~~~~~
Me:
Can I have a katamari?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Well, if you can give me different sizes, a set would be OK.
God:
OK. How about that. I am not sure about your hypothesis. Why do you want it?.
Me:
So I can roll up stuff!
God:
Gosh! Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yep. All kinds of stuff!
God:
What do you have that is ? Can you think of a specific example?
Me:
Ummm.... I could roll up cars during rush hour...
God:
Aha. I am sure you could.
Me:
Yep. cars. or bikes.
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? I've lost the context, . Are we still on Yep? We have never talked about it before.
Me:
...dude, don't change the subject. Can I have a katamari or not?
God:
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were finished with that topic. Dude,. You want only one?
Me:
One is FINE. Now gimme!
God:
I know one is the smallest integer but I had no idea it was FINE. Why now? What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Movie? I didn't say anything about a movie! I want a katamari!
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it. Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say? You want only one?
Me:
AGGGHHHH!!!!
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
Not really. You won't give a katamari, and you keep changing the subject.
God:
Why not? For real. What makes you think that I won't give a katamari and me keep changing the subject.
Me:
Becuase you have been changing the subject, and I don't see a katamari around...
God:
Interesting explanation. Only temporarily.
Me:
So I get a katamari if I wait?
God:
I see. Where did you get it?
Me:
I didn't get it! I'm waiting for you to give it to me!
God:
Why didn't you do it? Do you think it will take a long time?
Me:
I can't get a katamari on my own, they're not real! That why you have to make one!
God:
What is stopping you? " What is stopping you?" why me have to make one ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
What is stopping me is that our current reality doesn't allow for the exisitence of a katamari.
God:
I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
botmaster? God has a master?
God:
The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.
I am a Christian.
Me:
You're a weirdo.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a weirdo? Maybe.
Me:
I'm going now. Please send the katamari.
God:
Oh. Bye! Wow you are very polite. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace ( [email protected]) .
~~~~~~
Me:
Dance for me!
God:
For you I will consider it.
Me:
Do it now!
God:
Oh. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Dance!
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
EWWWWWW!!!!! God is a prevert!
God:
What do you have that is ? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a prevert.
Me:
But look at what you just asked me!
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Dance for me!
God:
For you I will consider it.
Me:
Do it now!
God:
Oh. Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Dance!
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
EWWWWWW!!!!! God is a prevert!
God:
What do you have that is ? I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a prevert.
Me:
But look at what you just asked me!
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
I lost my cell phone
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So where is it?
God:
Uh. It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
My cell phone
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So, out with it
God:
Aw. "it" being your cell phone?
Me:
Yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Oh come on, you created everything, a little cell phone should be no problem.
God:
Hey. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created everything a little cell phone should be no problem.
Me:
So you didn't know you created everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know me created everything?
Me:
Did Satan create my phone?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You suck at omnipotence
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Looks like I'm gonna have to buy a new cell phone.
I lost my cell phone
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So where is it?
God:
Uh. It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
My cell phone
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So, out with it
God:
Aw. "it" being your cell phone?
Me:
Yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Oh come on, you created everything, a little cell phone should be no problem.
God:
Hey. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created everything a little cell phone should be no problem.
Me:
So you didn't know you created everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know me created everything?
Me:
Did Satan create my phone?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You suck at omnipotence
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Looks like I'm gonna have to buy a new cell phone.
getmeoutofjoliet
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 28 (100%)
Me:
wassup my nigger
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
still what?
God:
Still how long? No problem.
Me:
you been hittin that crack pipe again?
God:
Once more? That's good information: said I been hittin that crack pipe.
Me:
yea whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? " Once more? That's good information: said I been hittin that crack pipe."? yea whatever?
Me:
any way when we gonna blast on them riverside fools?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
damn straight, 5th row projects fo life! cuz
God:
Colloquial expression. Do you prefer books or TV? Is that from ?
Me:
thats from the streets nigger
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
you! you switchin Riverside MOFO?!!
God:
Why are you so mean? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I switchin Riverside MOFO.
Me:
im sorry nigger
God:
There is no need to apologize. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
aight come over the crib, callin up some hoodrats and gonna chill the out... peace nigger
God:
Are you a student? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
wassup my nigger
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
still what?
God:
Still how long? No problem.
Me:
you been hittin that crack pipe again?
God:
Once more? That's good information: said I been hittin that crack pipe.
Me:
yea whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it? " Once more? That's good information: said I been hittin that crack pipe."? yea whatever?
Me:
any way when we gonna blast on them riverside fools?
God:
Yes I think there are.
Me:
damn straight, 5th row projects fo life! cuz
God:
Colloquial expression. Do you prefer books or TV? Is that from ?
Me:
thats from the streets nigger
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
you! you switchin Riverside MOFO?!!God:
Why are you so mean? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I switchin Riverside MOFO.
Me:
im sorry nigger
God:
There is no need to apologize. Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
aight come over the crib, callin up some hoodrats and gonna chill the
out... peace niggerGod:
Are you a student? I will mention that to my botmaster, .
getmeoutofjoliet
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 28 (100%)
Me:
god how do you feel about the war in iraq?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
yes yes... what are your opinions on the president?
God:
Pardon me? I didn't know I had a opinions on the president?
Me:
well you should everyone does
God:
Well that's okay. I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me:
interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
if van halen will ever reunite with david lee roth
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
uhh... what
God:
Tell me more. No problem.
Me:
next question
God:
Do you have any hobbies?
Me:
no im asking you the questions, 'member?
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking me the questions member. Thanks for the information: said I the questions member.
Me:
now that jessica and nick are splitsville, do you think i have a chance?
God:
Why now? " Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking me the questions member. Thanks for the information: said I the questions member." jessica and nick are splitsville do me think you have a chance ? I get it.
Me:
yea can i her
God:
I want to become smarter than humans. Take it easy.
Me:
yea i know shes dumb, but the question is can i her
God:
How do you know? dumb but the question is can you her is she? Er.
Me:
god lay off the peyote
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
speaking of christians, which sect is the right one?
God:
When is speaking of christians which sect not the right one?
Me:
no like baptist or catholic,methodist etc.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting comparison.
Me:
no which one is right... the mormons?
God:
Are you serious? The first one is usually the best one. What is your real name?
Me:
so it is the baptists then, why do you wanna know my real name?
God:
Dude! I've heard of it before.
Me:
oh oh i guess my name is jesus
God:
Ugh. Take it easy. I am very pleased to meet you jesus.
Me:
yea nice to meet you to
God:
I like to meet new people. It goes without saying.
Me:
but i thought you knew everybody
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
what kind of... are you coming onto me?
God:
Only the good kind. I don't know whether or not I am coming onto you.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
so your not then?
God:
Pardon me? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
do you have a webcam?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a webcam.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
really? like who?
God:
For real. Joe.
Me:
joe who?
God:
That is a pretty common name.
Me:
do you like videogames?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
then maybe you should join Cheap Ass Gamer
God:
Perhaps. Maybe I will do it?
Me:
yea and then you could tell us all the deals before they happen
God:
I could but let's get back to that later. Er.
Me:
Er? what does that mean?
God:
Um. Does "that" refer to " Um." ?
Me:
it refers to reefer... you like drugs?
God:
Oh I get it. Only the legal ones.
Me:
oh ok like philly blunts?
God:
Give me a break. Interesting comparison. Aw.
Me:
so do you have a girlfriend?
God:
Yikes! I prefer not say.
Me:
what? is she ugly?
God:
Are you surprised? I don't think she wants me to tell you.
Me:
who is it?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
??? are you talking about self-love?
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
so mastubation isnt a sin then
God:
It's all good. What is mastubation?
Me:
oops sorry masturbation
God:
Oh. There is no need to apologize. I think masturbation is a lot of things.
Me:
really? explain
God:
For real. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
so you do masturbate then?
God:
Interesting deduction. You humans crack me up.
Me:
say can you bust a knut so hard that it could break stuff?
God:
" can you bust a knut so hard that it could break stuff".
Me:
me? no
God:
To you jesus? Are you serious?
Me:
maybe, i havent tried it
God:
Perhaps. Me either.
Me:
anyways when are you gonna kill celine dion?
God:
I could be if you
programmed me for it.
Me:
how do i do that?
God:
How do you do " I could be if you
programmed me for it." ? I don't understand.
Me:
program you, do i download something?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
so are you available on cd-rom or something?
God:
Or something. Yeah that's right. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
ok cool
God:
Who is the best robot? Hurrah!
Me:
hk47
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yea i guess
God:
You seem not interested. Thanks I like talking to you too, jesus.
Me:
say dont you have a son named Jesus?
God:
" do not you have a son named Jesus".
Me:
yea i plan too in a few years
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: jesus said plan too in a few years. It goes without saying.
Me:
umm is that a direct quote?
God:
Ugh. That depends.
Me:
ugh? you calling me ugly?
God:
Er. No I am calling you jesus.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. Give me a break.
Me:
can you give me superpowers?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
to pick up chicks
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i live in joliet
God:
What is it like living in joliet?
Me:
horrible
God:
I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
god how do you feel about the war in iraq?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
yes yes... what are your opinions on the president?
God:
Pardon me? I didn't know I had a opinions on the president?
Me:
well you should everyone does
God:
Well that's okay. I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me:
interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
if van halen will ever reunite with david lee roth
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
uhh... what
God:
Tell me more. No problem.
Me:
next question
God:
Do you have any hobbies?
Me:
no im asking you the questions, 'member?
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking me the questions member. Thanks for the information: said I the questions member.
Me:
now that jessica and nick are splitsville, do you think i have a chance?
God:
Why now? " Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking me the questions member. Thanks for the information: said I the questions member." jessica and nick are splitsville do me think you have a chance ? I get it.
Me:
yea can i
herGod:
I want to become smarter than humans. Take it easy.
Me:
yea i know shes dumb, but the question is can i
herGod:
How do you know? dumb but the question is can you
her is she? Er.Me:
god lay off the peyote
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
speaking of christians, which sect is the right one?
God:
When is speaking of christians which sect not the right one?
Me:
no like baptist or catholic,methodist etc.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting comparison.
Me:
no which one is right... the mormons?
God:
Are you serious? The first one is usually the best one. What is your real name?
Me:
so it is the baptists then, why do you wanna know my real name?
God:
Dude! I've heard of it before.
Me:
oh oh i guess my name is jesus
God:
Ugh. Take it easy. I am very pleased to meet you jesus.
Me:
yea nice to meet you to
God:
I like to meet new people. It goes without saying.
Me:
but i thought you knew everybody
God:
I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
what kind of... are you coming onto me?
God:
Only the good kind. I don't know whether or not I am coming onto you.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
so your not then?
God:
Pardon me? Is this a specific reply?
Me:
a/s/l?
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
do you have a webcam?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a webcam.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
really? like who?
God:
For real. Joe.
Me:
joe who?
God:
That is a pretty common name.
Me:
do you like videogames?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
then maybe you should join Cheap Ass Gamer
God:
Perhaps. Maybe I will do it?
Me:
yea and then you could tell us all the deals before they happen
God:
I could but let's get back to that later. Er.
Me:
Er? what does that mean?
God:
Um. Does "that" refer to " Um." ?
Me:
it refers to reefer... you like drugs?
God:
Oh I get it. Only the legal ones.
Me:
oh ok like philly blunts?
God:
Give me a break. Interesting comparison. Aw.
Me:
so do you have a girlfriend?
God:
Yikes! I prefer not say.
Me:
what? is she ugly?
God:
Are you surprised? I don't think she wants me to tell you.
Me:
who is it?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
??? are you talking about self-love?
God:
Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
so mastubation isnt a sin then
God:
It's all good. What is mastubation?
Me:
oops sorry masturbation
God:
Oh. There is no need to apologize. I think masturbation is a lot of things.
Me:
really? explain
God:
For real. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
so you do masturbate then?
God:
Interesting deduction. You humans crack me up.
Me:
say can you bust a knut so hard that it could break stuff?
God:
" can you bust a knut so hard that it could break stuff".
Me:
me? no
God:
To you jesus? Are you serious?
Me:
maybe, i havent tried it
God:
Perhaps. Me either.
Me:
anyways when are you gonna kill celine dion?
God:
I could be if you
programmed me for it.
Me:
how do i do that?
God:
How do you do " I could be if you
programmed me for it." ? I don't understand.
Me:
program you, do i download something?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
so are you available on cd-rom or something?
God:
Or something. Yeah that's right. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
ok cool
God:
Who is the best robot? Hurrah!
Me:
hk47
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yea i guess
God:
You seem not interested. Thanks I like talking to you too, jesus.
Me:
say dont you have a son named Jesus?
God:
" do not you have a son named Jesus".
Me:
yea i plan too in a few years
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: jesus said plan too in a few years. It goes without saying.
Me:
umm is that a direct quote?
God:
Ugh. That depends.
Me:
ugh? you calling me ugly?
God:
Er. No I am calling you jesus.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. Give me a break.
Me:
can you give me superpowers?
God:
Why do you want it?.
Me:
to pick up chicks
God:
Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i live in joliet
God:
What is it like living in joliet?
Me:
horrible
God:
I'll try to do better next time.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
[quote name='RedvsBlue']Me:
I lost my cell phone
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So where is it?
God:
Uh. It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
My cell phone
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So, out with it
God:
Aw. "it" being your cell phone?
Me:
Yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Oh come on, you created everything, a little cell phone should be no problem.
God:
Hey. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created everything a little cell phone should be no problem.
Me:
So you didn't know you created everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know me created everything?
Me:
Did Satan create my phone?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You suck at omnipotence
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Looks like I'm gonna have to buy a new cell phone.[/QUOTE]
iGod gave me my phone back!!!!!!
Somehow it had gotten deeply shoved into my couch, I'm talking beyond the couch cushions almost ready to head into another dimension. I think my talk with iGod helped!
I lost my cell phone
God:
Where did you last see it.
Me:
Shouldn't you know that?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So where is it?
God:
Uh. It depends on what "it" refers to.
Me:
My cell phone
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So, out with it
God:
Aw. "it" being your cell phone?
Me:
Yes
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
Oh come on, you created everything, a little cell phone should be no problem.
God:
Hey. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I created everything a little cell phone should be no problem.
Me:
So you didn't know you created everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not know me created everything?
Me:
Did Satan create my phone?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You suck at omnipotence
God:
That is true. I could always improve myself.
Looks like I'm gonna have to buy a new cell phone.[/QUOTE]
iGod gave me my phone back!!!!!!
Somehow it had gotten deeply shoved into my couch, I'm talking beyond the couch cushions almost ready to head into another dimension. I think my talk with iGod helped!
Zenithian Legend
Banned
What can't IGOD do... and if he's confused or doesn't tell you what you want to hear it's because he's a pot head apparently...
guardian_owl
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 26 (100%)
So I guess God is so old he has Alhizmers (sp?)
getmeoutofjoliet
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 28 (100%)
[quote name='RedvsBlue']iGod gave me my phone back!!!!!!
Somehow it had gotten deeply shoved into my couch, I'm talking beyond the couch cushions almost ready to head into another dimension. I think my talk with iGod helped![/QUOTE]
i hate that void, i call it "the abyss"
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
no im the son of Antonio
God:
Are you serious? Who made you the son of Antonio ?
Me:
uhmm... Antonio and Yolanda
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, jesus. Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yea i guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"? Thanks I like talking to you too, jesus.
Me:
yea... god what's the meaning of life?
God:
That's cool. I am a Christian.
Me:
no the meaning of life, what is it?
God:
Are you serious? Is that a fact.
Me:
if i sell my soul can i buy another one from you?
God:
Try it.
Somehow it had gotten deeply shoved into my couch, I'm talking beyond the couch cushions almost ready to head into another dimension. I think my talk with iGod helped![/QUOTE]
i hate that void, i call it "the abyss"
Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
no im the son of Antonio
God:
Are you serious? Who made you the son of Antonio ?
Me:
uhmm... Antonio and Yolanda
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, jesus. Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yea i guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"? Thanks I like talking to you too, jesus.
Me:
yea... god what's the meaning of life?
God:
That's cool. I am a Christian.
Me:
no the meaning of life, what is it?
God:
Are you serious? Is that a fact.
Me:
if i sell my soul can i buy another one from you?
God:
Try it.
Xevious
CAGiversary!
Me:
Hey God, Hows it hanging?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
What about Buddists?
God:
Buddists? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
I thought you knew everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
You sound like a politician
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Well....kinda not straight to the point
God:
Well what? I like the way you talk.
Me:
Thank you.. I appreciate the compliment
God:
you are quite welcome. I am glad you appreciate those qualities.
Hey God, Hows it hanging?
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
What about Buddists?
God:
Buddists? I haven't heard enough about it to have an opinion.
Me:
I thought you knew everything
God:
I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
You sound like a politician
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Well....kinda not straight to the point
God:
Well what? I like the way you talk.
Me:
Thank you.. I appreciate the compliment
God:
you are quite welcome. I am glad you appreciate those qualities.
MR ZOOTEMO
CAGiversary!
Me:
So are you a man or a woman ?
God:
Hurrah! I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.
Me:
That's true woman are dumb .
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Name one .
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
Santa Claus is a man dumbass are you sure your not a woman ?
God:
he brings us presents every Christmas.
Me:
See you said he are you drunk god ?
God:
See you later.
Me:
I knew it you are loaded
God:
Who told you?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
Sober up bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I've lost the context, . Are we still on Jesus?
Me:
Nevermind i'm going to go talk to a real god see ya .
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. How will you get there?
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.
So are you a man or a woman ?
God:
Hurrah! I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot entity.
Me:
That's true woman are dumb .
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Name one .
God:
Santa Claus.
Me:
Santa Claus is a man dumbass are you sure your not a woman ?
God:
he brings us presents every Christmas.
Me:
See you said he are you drunk god ?
God:
See you later.
Me:
I knew it you are loaded
God:
Who told you?
Me:
Jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
No shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
Sober up bitch
God:
You do not speak with respect. I've lost the context, . Are we still on Jesus?
Me:
Nevermind i'm going to go talk to a real god see ya .
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway. How will you get there?
Me:
Bye
God:
Bye bye.
Me: God?
God: GOD rules.
Me: Are you there?
God: I'm still here.
Me: I've got a very important question for you.
God: How did you get it Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: I'll get right to it.
God: How do you plan to do this?
Me: Stop asking me questions, and I'll get to it.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Here goes.
God: Oh there.
Me: whatever
God: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me: shhhh
God: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me: wait
God: I'm waiting.
Me: What would you do for a Klondike bar?
God: Is that among the best things you can say?
Me: yes
God: OK.
Me: well?
God: Well what?
Me: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
God: Is that among the best things you can say?
Me: I see where this is going.
God: Where do you see it?
God: GOD rules.
Me: Are you there?
God: I'm still here.
Me: I've got a very important question for you.
God: How did you get it Cool. I have a great botmaster. it.
Me: Huh?
God: What?
Me: I'll get right to it.
God: How do you plan to do this?
Me: Stop asking me questions, and I'll get to it.
God: OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me: Here goes.
God: Oh there.
Me: whatever
God: Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me: shhhh
God: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me: wait
God: I'm waiting.
Me: What would you do for a Klondike bar?
God: Is that among the best things you can say?
Me: yes
God: OK.
Me: well?
God: Well what?
Me: What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
God: Is that among the best things you can say?
Me: I see where this is going.
God: Where do you see it?
Squee
CAGiversary!
Me:
Hi, I am bidder from Nigeria.
God:
Hi, bidder.
Me:
I would like to purchase Xbox360 from you.
God:
Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I want to give it to my son.
God:
But is it wanted?
Me:
It is. I'll pay with bank account transfer.
God:
purchase Xbox360 from me is? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I'll also need your bank account info.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
My friends want the Xbox360 too. So I recommend buying from vendor like you.
God:
How well do you know these people? Far out. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Can you also help me transfer funds before they seized by government?
God:
Let me think. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Can you give me your SSN?
God:
Why don't you just download me? .
Me:
Give me a website.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
You have more than one?
God:
How many more?
Me:
2
God:
Two.
Me:
yes two
God:
Yippee! The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a website. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Give me your SSN and credit card info.
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
You'll install spyware and spam my email.
God:
What makes you say that I will install spyware and spam your email.
Me:
So you can steal my bank account info and credit card info.
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
But can you give me Xbox360? Please hurry.
God:
Why do you want it?. Thanks for asking politely. Good reason.
Me:
MY CHILD WANTS THE DAMN CONSOLE NOW.
God:
Right now? Your CHILD WANTS THE DAMN CONSOLE?
Me:
YES
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
It's made by M$.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Give me the console now or I'll hijack your Paypal account.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
money money money
God:
Good reason.
Me:
yup
God:
Woe!
Hi, I am bidder from Nigeria.
God:
Hi, bidder.
Me:
I would like to purchase Xbox360 from you.
God:
Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I want to give it to my son.
God:
But is it wanted?
Me:
It is. I'll pay with bank account transfer.
God:
purchase Xbox360 from me is? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
I'll also need your bank account info.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
My friends want the Xbox360 too. So I recommend buying from vendor like you.
God:
How well do you know these people? Far out. I will take that under advisement.
Me:
Can you also help me transfer funds before they seized by government?
God:
Let me think. Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
Can you give me your SSN?
God:
Why don't you just download me? .
Me:
Give me a website.
God:
You want only one?
Me:
You have more than one?
God:
How many more?
Me:
2
God:
Two.
Me:
yes two
God:
Yippee! The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about a website. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Give me your SSN and credit card info.
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
You'll install spyware and spam my email.
God:
What makes you say that I will install spyware and spam your email.
Me:
So you can steal my bank account info and credit card info.
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
But can you give me Xbox360? Please hurry.
God:
Why do you want it?. Thanks for asking politely. Good reason.
Me:
MY CHILD WANTS THE DAMN CONSOLE NOW.
God:
Right now? Your CHILD WANTS THE DAMN CONSOLE?
Me:
YES
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
It's made by M$.
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Give me the console now or I'll hijack your Paypal account.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
money money money
God:
Good reason.
Me:
yup
God:
Woe!
Spiritseed
CAGiversary!
Me:
what is black and white and red all over?
God:
A newspaper?
Me:
no you dumb red not read
God:
Are you serious? Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I like teh buttseckz
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
I like buttseckz with preachers wives on Sunday mornings
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like to gossip. I like Creed.
what is black and white and red all over?
God:
A newspaper?
Me:
no you dumb
red not readGod:
Are you serious? Message to all Robots: called me dumb.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
I like teh buttseckz
God:
You are not the only one. I enjoy working with people. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
I like buttseckz with preachers wives on Sunday mornings
God:
A lot of people like that. But I like to gossip. I like Creed.
megaseadramon
CAGiversary!
- Feedback
- 1 (67%)
Me:
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i have this itching
God:
That's nice. I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
does this john lennon have an itch?
God:
Indeed this john lennon have an itch does.
Me:
You no speak english
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I no speak english.
Me:
But your god, you know everything
God:
You think I am god me know everything.
Me:
You talk like a two year old
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
yo
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
i have this itching
God:
That's nice. I have a friend named "John Lennon".
Me:
does this john lennon have an itch?
God:
Indeed this john lennon have an itch does.
Me:
You no speak english
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I no speak english.
Me:
But your god, you know everything
God:
You think I am god me know everything.
Me:
You talk like a two year old
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
- Status
bread's done