Rapture is tomorrow...

Technically speaking, isn't it already the 21st in other parts of the world? Or maybe Jesus only loves Americans...LOLOLOLOLOLZz
 
“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”

Won't stop these dumbasses from proclaiming they "are unworthy" tomorrow.
 
Either I go to heaven or a lot of very annoying people disappear from the face of the Earth. I figure it's win-win either way.
 
My understanding is that it isn't supposed to hit until 6:00 PM. Locally. That is, the rapture will hit me an hour before it'll hit anyone on the west coast, but an hour after my buddy in Winnipeg.

If I'm not mistaken, that means there's still, like, an hour and a half before the first people start getting raptured. Gotta say, it'd be pretty funny if the tribulation came just as they were about to get their NHL team back.

And don't get me started on what God thinks about daylight saving time...
 
In other words, people in Arizona get screwed because they don't do daylight savings time.

Way to go, Arizona.
 
Hey, same with us. We're part of the mountain time zone right now, and central in the winter.

Man, I know some people who are gonna be pretty pissed if they end up, like, half raptured.
 
If Pete and Pete were still filming new episodes these days, they could get back into the plot where Little Brother Pete rode his bicycle past time zone lines in order to experience time travel, but now instead he could outrunning GOD HIMSELF.

Which means he'd REALLY have to stock up on the riboflavin. Better getchu some Cosmic Rings from Krebllogs.

If no one understands what I am talking about, it will be expected. And horribly, horribly heartbreaking, you insensitive jerks.
 
If any of you happen to disappear tomorrow, could you arrange to send me all your vidya games? Much appreciated!
 
I'm mostly just curious what would happen if you did try to outrun the rapture. Like, if you lived in a pre-rapture time zone and just started going west until you hit a post-rapture time zone. Would you get raptured as soon as you went into the time zone? Would you get raptured next time that time zone hit 6:00 PM? Would you not get raptured at all?
[quote name='VipFREAK']It happens for me in less than 3 hrs. Nice because I'll get off work an hr earlier then.[/QUOTE]
6:00 PM, brother. Wait your turn.
 
Maybe it's like nuclear war, and thus if you find a desk to hide under, you are ok. Someone find an old projector and raid a 1940s school cellar. Know that the world was black and white back then, which might be a little painful in your groin region, but it should be minimal and pass after a few days. Eating food in bar form will help, as that unleashes food's awesome power I'm told.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']I'm mostly just curious what would happen if you did try to outrun the rapture. Like, if you lived in a pre-rapture time zone and just started going west until you hit a post-rapture time zone. Would you get raptured as soon as you went into the time zone? Would you get raptured next time that time zone hit 6:00 PM? Would you not get raptured at all?

6:00 PM, brother. Wait your turn.[/QUOTE]

Is the rapture aware of timezones?

I don't know if it's that knowledgeable, I mean it's probably quite old.
 
[quote name='whoknows']Is the rapture aware of timezones?[/QUOTE]
That is my understanding of this particular rapture, yes. There are a lot of different raptures, man.

I don't know if it goes strictly by the lines, though. Like, if you live in the dead centre of the mountain time zone, would you go exactly at 6:00, but if you lived a bit to the east, would you go at 5:58 or something? Or is it just, "6:00 in mountain. Everyone out, bitches!" I dunno.
 
I'm going to outsmart the Rapture, and set all my clocks incorrectly. And then microwave them, and get to talk to FATHER TIME HIMSELF.
 
Most of you guys don't take this seriously and I can't say I blame any of you. The same guy said the same thing about 1994 and was wrong. Although I'm a Christian and believe in god. I don't believe what a man says. According to

the bible no one knows not even Jesus or the Angels. There is a extremely slight chance the guy might be right, but I really doubt it.
 
[quote name='jman619'] There is a extremely slight chance the guy might be right, but I really doubt it.[/QUOTE]

No. There's no chance he knows. Either because A) you look at it from a religious standpoint that it specifically says no one knows, or B) God and Jesus and so forth is a crock of shit.

Either way, there's no chance he knows.
 
[quote name='Strell']No. There's no chance he knows. Either because A) you look at it from a religious standpoint that it specifically says no one knows, or B) God and Jesus and so forth is a crock of shit.

Either way, there's no chance he knows.[/QUOTE]

I did read about how he came to this conclusion and it makes no sense at all.

You know he is just doing it for money or wants some attention. People are going to run him into the ground when he is wrong yet again.
 
[quote name='jman619']People are going to run him into the ground when he is wrong yet again.[/QUOTE]
I hope so.

But they didn't last time.
 
I wonder what other animal in the history of this world was consistently wrong about something for 2000+ years. Is there some sort of mouse that thinks it can swim in lava or something?

Humans confirmed for dumbass tier.
 
Time of the rapture is upon us...everyone must send their worldly items and credit card information in order to appease the rapture.
 
[quote name='whoknows']I don't know. I saw a picture of the guy. He seems legit.[/QUOTE]

images


How can you not believe that face?
 
[quote name='whoknows']I don't know. I saw a picture of the guy. He seems legit.[/QUOTE]

[quote name='Bigbob317']
images


How can you not believe that face?[/QUOTE]
2legit2quit.jpg
 
Someone told me Jesus was gonna come today.
So I got on my knees, opened my mouth, and held out my tongue.

My mom called me a whore after that.

:shrug:
 
[quote name='strell']i wonder what other animal in the history of this world was consistently wrong about something for 2000+ years. Is there some sort of mouse that thinks it can swim in lava or something?

Humans confirmed for dumbass tier.[/quote]

 
[quote name='jman619']I did read about how he came to this conclusion and it makes no sense at all.

You know he is just doing it for money or wants some attention. People are going to run him into the ground when he is wrong yet again.[/QUOTE]

I just don't understand why this guy is getting all the attention he's getting. I mean with everything that's been going on lately, does the media really think things are that slow to be spending all this time talking about this nutjob? I mean, go walk around downtown New York and you'll run into at least five people proclaiming that the end is nigh, but they're not talking about them on every news channel.

Personally, if the media is going to insist on reporting about this, I wish they'd follow through on the story after tomorrow. How about some stories about all the people's livelihoods that have now been screwed up because they trusted him? Or maybe how about how much money he's made off of this scam?
 
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
STILL ALIVE, STILL ALIVE
 
[quote name='The Crotch']I'm mostly just curious what would happen if you did try to outrun the rapture.[/QUOTE]

If the rapture is real and if you were going to be rapture'd (like, somehow, you *knew* it), why would you want to outrun it? Sounds like things might get pretty sucky down here (Palin in 2012!)...
 
Cantatus is double-right. This guy's pretty god damn bushleague; why is he getting all this attention? And will there be follow-up on the 22nd?
[quote name='UncleBob']If the rapture is real and if you were going to be rapture'd (like, somehow, you *knew* it), why would you want to outrun it? Sounds like things might get pretty sucky down here (Palin in 2012!)...[/QUOTE]
Curiousity.

Durr.

Though if Kevin Smith's "Dogma" is at all accurate, succesfully outrunning th rapture would probably destroy all of existence.
 
The most interesting theory about the apocalypse I ever heard is that it will be a spiritual apocalypse. Looking around at the morally bankrupt leadership (political and religious) and monied classes in America, I can't say that it's too far off.
 
Unless A: the Pope's been lying about his beliefs or B: Camping's rapture has dramatically different criteria from any other rapture I'm familiar with, the Pope will be staying here with us.

EDIT: It is at this point that I would like to direct everyone to Therefore Repent!, one of the best god damn graphic novels out there. It's free, it's topically relevant, and it's totally balling as fuck.

thereforerepent-web1.jpg


Awwww yeaaaaaaah.
 
My question has been...what happened to the anti Christ and the big battle that is supposed to take place on Earth? Didnt the bible talk about all that too? The rapture seems in direct contradiction with that.
 
[quote name='MSI Magus']My question has been...what happened to the anti Christ and the big battle that is supposed to take place on Earth? Didnt the bible talk about all that too? The rapture seems in direct contradiction with that.[/QUOTE]

Your first error is trying to make sense of a book that would clearly conceived while the author was on drugs.
 
[quote name='Feeding the Abscess']Your first error is trying to make sense of a book that would clearly conceived while the author was on drugs.[/QUOTE]

Not trying to make sense of it, just pointing out an error. Trust me as a kid that went to a Baptist school for a few years I gave up trying to make sense of the bible years ago.
 
[quote name='MSI Magus']My question has been...what happened to the anti Christ and the big battle that is supposed to take place on Earth? Didnt the bible talk about all that too? The rapture seems in direct contradiction with that.[/QUOTE]
First: no, the Bible... look, most of this rapture shit is heretical as fuck, and that includes the "Antichrist" stuff. Next time someone tells you that all that "the Antichrist will rebuild Solomon's Temple and whatever and whatever" stuff is based on "a literal interpretation of scripture", tell him to fuck off. The common end-times story (there are myriad variations) - Left Behind and all that shit - is an out-of-order mish-mash of the ball-tripping imagery of Revelation with stuff from Daniel which has nothing to do with it at all but hey, there's a bunch of ominous shit in there, so why not?

Now, in this particular case, I believe the tribulation occurs in a rather short period of time after the rapture - that is, all the fancy plagues and disasters and wars and shit happen after today's rapture. God takes away all the worthy before things go sour down here, see, though you can still get into heaven if you convert post-rapture.
 
See my friends and I were debating last night whether or not a last minute baptism would save you. I argued that it would because a baptism is a clean slate from all sins.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top