I am 22 and i am moving out for grad school at the end of next week with my girlfriend of over 3 years. We are moving about 3 hours away from home to a place where neither of us do not know anybody.
My concern is not moving out, i moved out when i was a freshman in college to a place about an hour and a half away, then i moved away from home again in my sophomore year (but closer to my home), and then my 3rd and 4th year i moved back in with my parents. I moved back in for financial reasons, because i knew i was going to try to go to grad school, so i knew i couldnt spend my money on things i didnt really need, so i transferred back home to go to school right near where i live.
Like i said the problem at hand is not moving out, i have lived away from home, but its always been relatively close to home and i ALWAYS knew people at the place i was moving to. Now i am moving to a place 3 hours away without anybody i know at all.
I am really concerned about not creating enough friendships up there to keep myself happy. I am an extremely social person, but i have always had this thing where i have problems trusting people close to me. I have countless acquaintances here, but only a handful of true friends, with bonds that took many years to fully develop. I have no problem meeting people and talking to people, getting to know them, but getting to know them to the point of hanging out in my own home or more than just a few times is different. I do not do big parties anymore, i had enough of that in late high school/early college, and i just decided to stick with what i have. So now i hang out mostly in small groups or just small parties, but i found that i grew away from huge social events such as parties.
I have not had a major move since 7th grade (major meaning moving far away where i know nobody, forcing me to make new friends). I dont think i am capable of meeting new friends and making decent bonds with them. I love my girlfriend to death, but i need both alone time and time with friends. I am afraid that without having friends, i will grow a little distant in our own home, because i will honestly start missing my friends (and family as well). Also i know i have a trust issue with people, for some reason it takes me a very long time to learn to "trust" someone completely.
Another thing is that i am very worried i will "judge" these new potential friends too harshly, because i will try to compare them to my friends back home, and chances are they will not compete with them considering i have friendships that have dated way back for many years, and in some cases the most recent friends are really close simply because of a mutual friend. So i am afraid i will judge people too harshly, and end up spending a lot of time alone (besides when im with my girlfriend).
Can anyone help me out with some advice? Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Anything. Its just a really stressful situation for me and i have been losing a lot of sleep over it lately. Anything is welcome and appreciated.
My concern is not moving out, i moved out when i was a freshman in college to a place about an hour and a half away, then i moved away from home again in my sophomore year (but closer to my home), and then my 3rd and 4th year i moved back in with my parents. I moved back in for financial reasons, because i knew i was going to try to go to grad school, so i knew i couldnt spend my money on things i didnt really need, so i transferred back home to go to school right near where i live.
Like i said the problem at hand is not moving out, i have lived away from home, but its always been relatively close to home and i ALWAYS knew people at the place i was moving to. Now i am moving to a place 3 hours away without anybody i know at all.
I am really concerned about not creating enough friendships up there to keep myself happy. I am an extremely social person, but i have always had this thing where i have problems trusting people close to me. I have countless acquaintances here, but only a handful of true friends, with bonds that took many years to fully develop. I have no problem meeting people and talking to people, getting to know them, but getting to know them to the point of hanging out in my own home or more than just a few times is different. I do not do big parties anymore, i had enough of that in late high school/early college, and i just decided to stick with what i have. So now i hang out mostly in small groups or just small parties, but i found that i grew away from huge social events such as parties.
I have not had a major move since 7th grade (major meaning moving far away where i know nobody, forcing me to make new friends). I dont think i am capable of meeting new friends and making decent bonds with them. I love my girlfriend to death, but i need both alone time and time with friends. I am afraid that without having friends, i will grow a little distant in our own home, because i will honestly start missing my friends (and family as well). Also i know i have a trust issue with people, for some reason it takes me a very long time to learn to "trust" someone completely.
Another thing is that i am very worried i will "judge" these new potential friends too harshly, because i will try to compare them to my friends back home, and chances are they will not compete with them considering i have friendships that have dated way back for many years, and in some cases the most recent friends are really close simply because of a mutual friend. So i am afraid i will judge people too harshly, and end up spending a lot of time alone (besides when im with my girlfriend).
Can anyone help me out with some advice? Suggestions? Comments? Questions? Anything. Its just a really stressful situation for me and i have been losing a lot of sleep over it lately. Anything is welcome and appreciated.