Seriously, Enough With the Goddamned Children's Books

mykevermin

mykevermin

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http://littledemocrats.net/

This is just as bad as "There are Liberals Under the Bed!"

fucking Christ. Now, I'm a believer that the lessons taught in children's books are inherently Marxist, with some exceptions, but there's no need to tell a toddler that Democrats are better than republicans, or that Democrats will close down your lemonade stand.

Why can't we avoid all this bullshit and have our traditional anthropomorphised animals living in a heteronormative upper-middle-class white christian community books, like I remember growing up! ;)

I'm just gonna read 'em fuckin' Lovecraft or something instead. Truth be told, the "Lemony Snicket" series are excellent books for a variety of reasons, but I can't imagine someone younger than 6 (at best) reading that by themselves.
 
I just think it's funny that the Pope has warned catholics away from Harry Potter because he states that encourages kids to experiment with the occult. Once when I was a kid, I checked out a kid's book on haunted mansions, and I found a decorated paper bookmark inside warning me that I would go to hell if I didn't steer my interests away from the occult. Ironically the crude pagan symbology and promise of unholy otherworldly powers sparked my childhood imagination far more then the threat of some ill-conceived notion of a perpetual "time-out" zone for grown-ups.
 
Just out of curiosity, is this a "democrats are great book" or "democrats are great, republicans will eat you" type of book?

[quote name='camoor']I just think it's funny that the Pope has warned catholics away from Harry Potter because he states that encourages kids to experiment with the occult. Once when I was a kid, I checked out a kid's book on haunted mansions, and I found a decorated paper bookmark inside warning me that I would go to hell if I didn't steer my interests away from the occult. Ironically the crude pagan symbology and promise of unholy otherworldly powers sparked my childhood imagination far more then the threat of some ill-conceived notion of a perpetual "time-out" zone for grown-ups.[/quote]

I remember as a kid (4 years old or so) I had a picture of Satan on my wall, and a little satan figure. I never had a picture or action figure of Jesus or any other religious person though.

That was a long time ago though, back in the days when I was a church going Catholic.
 
[quote name='PittsburghAfterDark']Latest greatest thing imposed on kids, teaching them about AIDS in kindergarten... WTF?

Like they have any clue.[/quote]

They do in Africa.
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']Just out of curiosity, is this a "democrats are great book" or "democrats are great, republicans will eat you" type of book?[/QUOTE]

The latter. If you check out the page with sample pages from the book itself, there are pictures of mamma squirrel protecting the lil' ones from the giant elephant trolloping with wanton abandon down the path, or the picture with the generic fat cat aristocratic couple (think Bruce Wayne's parents, pre-death) ignoring the bum on the bench, while Mamma (there I go imposing gender again) provides all of the lil' squirrels with whatever the hell it is.

The text of the book, from what I've seen, doesn't say "Republicans are shitheads," but clearly the books going after the market of people who would (1) tell their children that anyway, or (2) point out how terrible Republicans are by the examples provided in the pictures.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I'm just gonna read 'em fuckin' Lovecraft or something instead.[/quote]

Kind of funny given that Lovecraft was a card-carrying racist. I know what you meant, I just thought you'd appreciate the irony.
 
Most are either the poltical alignment of their parents, or the polar-opposite of.
 
[quote name='munch']I even think it shows a drawing of a little boy's schlong.[/QUOTE]

Yep. An illustration of an old man and a little boy in a bathtub. The bathtub split down the middle, as an x-ray demonstration, so we could see fart bubbles... and weewees.

I read it at a friend's house back in 6th grade (his sister had it)... Most disturning book ever. Myke mentioned H.P. Lovecraft's work earlier; this blows the Fishmen out of the grimey waters.

The undertones of "CHILD MOLESTOR WRITTEN & ILLUSTRATED" are unsettling.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I'm just gonna read 'em fuckin' Lovecraft or something instead. [/quote]

Now you can - in style :D

Necronomicon Plush Book (pre-school edition): The Necronomicon, an image of the law of the dead, as described by HP Lovecraft as written by the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred. It describes how to summon the Old Ones. This faithful adaptation, designed by Ron Spencer, is modified slightly for younger audiences. Note the squeaker on page 3, and the gloved hand for rolling human bones on page 5.
Click to expand...


IMPTYVHP017_500.jpeg


http://paizo.com/store/toys/plushes/cthulhu/v5748btpy7pxy
 
[quote name='camoor']Kind of funny given that Lovecraft was a card-carrying racist. I know what you meant, I just thought you'd appreciate the irony.[/QUOTE]

Yes but consider the times and look at "King Kong" back then and do the math.
 
[quote name='mykevermin'] or the picture with the generic fat cat aristocratic couple (think Bruce Wayne's parents, pre-death)

[/QUOTE]


That analogy answers all. Pre-death Gotham was a nice place to live, and the community loved the Waynes. Once the Waynes were gone, it all went to shit. :D Vote Republican.
 
I didn't know English when I was 5 so I couldn't be brainwashed yet. The only brainwashing that I went through was via the NES.

When I got older, the Hardy Boys and the Boxcar Children were my brainwashers, along with Kings Quest and Age of Empires.
 
The Lemony Snicket books are some of the worst I've ever read. Truth be told I only barely managed to make it through the first. Absolute rubbish. Pure drivvel, though I wouldn't mind the OP's take on the books so I can at least see where the general population, or demographic that likes the book's point of view is on it.
 
[quote name='Fire']The Lemony Snicket books are some of the worst I've ever read. Truth be told I only barely managed to make it through the first. Absolute rubbish. Pure drivvel, though I wouldn't mind the OP's take on the books so I can at least see where the general population, or demographic that likes the book's point of view is on it.[/QUOTE]

I can't argue that the premise to the books isn't simplistic. It merely takes the world of children's books, where good and evil are clearly identifiable and completely juxtaposed to each other, and turns it on its head. It does the same with the bullshit moral overture of every children's book (good always triumphs over evil), and I think that, while simple, it's something sorely lacking from children's books, and an important, if not depressing, lesson to glean at an early age.

I also like the weaving in of little "language lessons," though sometimes they were so absurd as to not properly indicate the actual meaning of the word/phrase used.

I think the story is interesting, the characters are well developed and, at the very least, the protagonists generate a great deal of sympathy (their parents died, c'mon!), and the villains, when of the "clearly a villain" category, are completely despisable.

I'd like to hear more on your take of the book, as "drivel" and "rubbish" don't give me much to understand your critique on. In addition, which of the twelve available have you read? Just the first?

I'm not a parent, and I don't consider myself very "average," so I'm not certain what conclusions you want to draw from this.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']I think the story is interesting, the characters are well developed and, at the very least, the protagonists generate a great deal of sympathy (their parents died, c'mon!), and the villains, when of the "clearly a villain" category, are completely despisable.
[/QUOTE]

That's my wife reads them. I only read through Book 4, but you can't find fault on the character development. Hell, I often found it better than most books, especially for children.
 
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