, when the site went down yesterday, I went straight to sleep. Now I wake up and I miss a thread like this.
First, finrats.
Second, I don't know the whole situation but OP has a couple of options:
- seek counseling to potentially reconcile. Why? I don't know the full story. If OP hasn't been doin' his duty as a man (good frequent sex, compliments, helping out w/ chores w/o being asked, occasional gifts, etc.), it's quite normal for a woman to stray. The story would be the same if the girl wasn't doin' her duty - OP would be chasin' tail behind her back.
- seek divorce proceedures now. Why? His potentially soon-to-be-ex-wife might be a whore plain and simple. If OP did his man duties and she STILL cheating, no reconciliation. Absolutely none. And don't let your emotions or your dick do the thinking. I don't care if she won the Global Dick Sucking Championship, you cheat, you must delete. At this point, you've got to be a cold-blooded logical reptilian. Fight her with logic, not emotion. Present your case but gather a LOT of evidence. Overwhelming evidence. Men aren't the presumptive punching bags we were in the 90s. More and more men are starting to get their dues and getting alimony from the ex.
- kill her and hide the body? But this is a terrible option. Why? Besides the obvious jailtime, this falls into the 'thinking with his dick' category. If he killed her, then is he prepared to accept the full consequences? Doing this stupid thing will cause distress for both sides of the family, the OP's and the wife's. And one thing ppl don't need in this life is more grief. There's enough BS to go around. Also, would he be ready for a life behind bars? Is he prepared to be the 'catcher' to some inmate's 'pitcher'? What about when he gets outta jail? Is he prepared for the stigma of being labeled a psycho murderer? That shit will follow you for the rest of your life. Think on it.
Third, if you choose the best option from above (hint, it's the 2nd one) do NOT date anyone until the divorce is final. While it may seem like a good idea to date to get your mind off the trouble w/ the ex-wife, it's not for two easy reasons:
- the wife can use that as basis for a counterargument that OP was seeing this person while they were married and 'forced' her into the arms of another man. Even if it's not obviously true, women can be conniving and may present some made-up evidence to suggest otherwise. These days, you don't necessarily have to be right to win a case in court; it's whoever tells the best story.
- it complicates things bringing a third party into the situation. It would be unfair to the girl OP ends up dating because she's sucked into the drama and BS that is most often unnecessary. Even if OP is a stand up guy, the girl will end up feeling used as a rebound trophy girlfriend than someone that OP would genuinely consider (...unless that girl doesn't mind being a trophy that is but most often they do mind).
Fourth, this is for charlieee, no matter how confident you and your girl are, if she's a slutty whore, she'll find a way to cheat behind your back. You can't watch her 24/7 and if you don't trust her, how can you be fully sure she isn't doin' some shady shit? Since you say that 'everyone is
ing everyone' in your neighborhood, how does that make your girl any exception? Best option is to trust her fully. Why? If she's faithful to you, then there's no issue to worry about to lose your hair over.. If she's cheatin', there's nothing you can do to change the past. At that point, you'd be in the same boat as the OP. So you might as well enjoy it.