...so my girlfriend just broke up with me

saadman

saadman

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and I need some advice from you guys. Ok this was a very serious relationship. We were extremely commited to each other and really did love each other etc...

Well the last little while we have hardly hung out and I was really not in a good mood when I picked her up this one day because of it. Then out of the blue during the drive, she says "we need to talk"......oh crap.

Well we sat down for an EXTREMELY long time. I seriously treated her like royalty. Like always patient, always did things for her for no reason, gave her tons of space, never smothered her etc... When we were talking she aknowledged all the efforts I made. She said that I was perfect, amazing blah blah blah.

She told me her life is so messed up and so full of shit with school, her family, friends etc... that she feels like I'm getting the shitty end of the deal, that I deserve better. That with everything thats going on she can't handle the pressure of a boyfriend.

Well I tried to explain there's a difference between what I deserve and what I want and I wanted her. I told her that I could help her with her problems etc... She said I couldn't.

So like after a week we start talking again and I mean she knows she hurt me, and all the stuff that comes with that. She also said that she'd never find someone like myself and knows what's she's losing. I told her right now I can't be her friend, all I could be was there for her.....but I can't be a label right now.

So tell me CAGs what's gonna happen? I just don't think I can be just her friend. Was it right for me to say "all I can be is there for you"? She has had terrible, shitty relationships and I was the first one that worked and was awsome or her.

My one burning question is will we get back together over time? Yes I do talk to her through MSN but at the moment thats the ONLY communication. I'm trying to slowly distance myself because it does hurt. She goes to school in town here and I go away to school. So I mean I won't hardly see her during the summer now....and come fall I won't see her at all. So do you think over time she might figure out her shit and maybe realize her mistake of breaking up with me? Or is this it?

Long story I know, but you guys need the facts in order to give a straight answer.
 
A serious relationship gone bad just like that? From what I've experienced, when a girl has a good man, she clings onto him.
I'm no expert but I'm thinking she's hiding something that she doesn't want to tell you.
 
Why did you think that this site was the best place to break the news first? When I first saw your name I was thinking "Who the Eff is this cat?"



Plus you're a Canuck so nobody really cares about your feelings.


Stupid Canadian.
 
You sound like you're 20 or so since you indicated that you go away to school. Most young girls are whores...she's probably banging a bunch of other dudes.
 
[quote name='GameDude']You sound like you're 20 or so since you indicated that you go away to school. Most young girls are whores...she's probably banging a bunch of other dudes.[/QUOTE]

Black dudes, even.
 
You didn't mention how long you two have been going out. I think that is a key factor to helping to understand this.
 
Move on. Trust me, it's the best thing for you. She broke up with you, don't even talk to her anymore. Whatever she told you was a lie, and she was just letting you off easily. You'll look pathetic if you keep persuing her. Man up, keep your head up, focus on school, work, exercise, ect. Do your own thing, and be strong independently.
 
Keep in mind her telling you that your are perfect, etc. is just her way of trying to let you down easy. For whatever unknown reason she just doesn't want to be with you. As tough as that may be to take, you need to move on.
 
[quote name='Chris in Cali']Move on. Trust me, it's the best thing for you. She broke up with you, don't even talk to her anymore. Whatever she told you was a lie, and she was just letting you off easily. You'll look pathetic if you keep persuing her. Man up, keep your head up, focus on school, work, exercise, ect. Do your own thing, and be strong independently.[/QUOTE]

I have to agree with Chris. That's the exact same read I was getting from that situation. Best to just not dwell on it.
 
Yeah, move on. And don't even sweat her IMs or phone calls. If she has something important to say to you, she can do it in person. Best way to get a girl back (if she still wants you) is to ignore her. She'll see what she's missed and come runnin' home. If she doesn't come back, it means she was BSing you and only wanted to break up with the minimum amount of hurt to your ego. Moving on has 2 benefits:

- seeing another person instead of her allows you to heal the mental wounds your ex gave you

- if she sees you have moved on already, she'll be wondering how you could get over her so quickly and she'll start to wonder if she let go of a really good thing.
 
[quote name='Chris in Cali']Move on. Trust me, it's the best thing for you. She broke up with you, don't even talk to her anymore. Whatever she told you was a lie, and she was just letting you off easily. You'll look pathetic if you keep persuing her. Man up, keep your head up, focus on school, work, exercise, ect. Do your own thing, and be strong independently.[/QUOTE]

The tan man speaks words of wisdom.
 
[quote name='AngellicLulu']I swear once a week there's one of these topics... maybe we should make a "My significant other just broke up with me" sticky.[/QUOTE]
Seriously, or make a different subforum in off topic "My girlfriend left/broke up/cheated on me"
 
Wow i forgot how many assholes can come to this site. Just goes to show you dont go looking for support on the internet. Anywho, the its not you, its me, line has been used over and over. My thoughts would be she was cheating on you but chances are just as high that she had too much shit going on.

No use crying over spilt milk, man up and move on, if you think your going to get back together you will never move foward and your going to be wasting a lot of time =/
 
I think she would have the answers you're looking for.
cleo_inside_031402.jpg
 
Man im sorry to tell you this ,those are all lies, i know it will be hard for you to admit ,but move on, she said all those nice things just to make it easier for you , You were a WUZZY with her , learn from your mistakes and never kiss a girls ass again ( I seriously treated her like royalty ) that dosn't work ! , you gotta be the man not act like her little brother, You want to know why all those nice things she said about you are true ? , because she dumped you !
 
[quote name='Chris in Cali']Move on. Trust me, it's the best thing for you. She broke up with you, don't even talk to her anymore. Whatever she told you was a lie, and she was just letting you off easily. You'll look pathetic if you keep persuing her. Man up, keep your head up, focus on school, work, exercise, ect. Do your own thing, and be strong independently.[/QUOTE]

i also have to agree with every single word this man said !
 
Don't worry about if what she said is true or not, it doesn't matter. People feel the way that she said she does all the time in a relationship, but if they want to they work through it. It's over, just move on, you'll only hurt yourself if you try to get back with her. In the future, don't treat your girl like royalty all the time. Treat them like you would anyone else most of the time, and OCCASIONALLY do something special for them. If you go overboard doing nice things all the time, they won't mean a damn thing to her after a while, she'll take it for granted. I'm not saying to be a dick, but don't be completely whipped either. And if you're at college, be confident, there are tons of girls around you to choose from. Don't rush straight into another relationship either, take some time to weigh your options, and if you rush into someone else it will only hurt that relationship.
 
Thanks for actually being sincere about this CAGs. I appreciate that. Just a few things, you can take them how you want.

We were extremely extremely open about everything. I know when she said all those things to me they were true. She has had jackass boyfriends. Her parents, cousins and sister all told me that I'm the first boyfriend that wasn't a mistake in both their and her eyes (you can't fake that).
 
[quote name='saadman']Thanks for actually being sincere about this CAGs. I appreciate that. Just a few things, you can take them how you want.

We were extremely extremely open about everything. I know when she said all those things to me they were true. She has had jackass boyfriends. Her parents, cousins and sister all told me that I'm the first boyfriend that wasn't a mistake in both their and her eyes (you can't fake that).[/QUOTE]

It's not even about that. You should still move on. The quicker you move on. The less it'll hurt. You may be considering that you be alone for a while but that's just wallowing in misery and the sooner you realize that the better and faster your outlook will be. Even if all that stuff is true, she's the one who broke it off. That's her prerogative not yours. You owe it to yourself, not just as a man, but a decent man whose shown this girl what it means to be treated like a woman. If she can't accept that, it's her loss. But you aggravate it if you don't understand this concept.
 
I'm slowly understanding. Like I don't want to be rude, and some of you will definately think I'm a pussy for saying this. But I mean how can I just ease myself away from her without it seeming totally rude?

Like she had to do a third semester this year and her exams are next week. Then its summer for her and she'll be off doing her thing, going to her cottage etc... think it will be pretty easy to just ease off contact during the summer cause I mean it's summer and no one really knows where anyone is during the summer. Come fall, I'm back to school and she's still left wondering.
 
[quote name='saadman']I'm slowly understanding. Like I don't want to be rude, and some of you will definately think I'm a pussy for saying this. But I mean how can I just ease myself away from her without it seeming totally rude?

Like she had to do a third semester this year and her exams are next week. Then its summer for her and she'll be off doing her thing, going to her cottage etc... think it will be pretty easy to just ease off contact during the summer cause I mean it's summer and no one really knows where anyone is during the summer. Come fall, I'm back to school and she's still left wondering.[/QUOTE]

Still left wondering about what? She dumped YOU, not the other way around. Be the man, and forget about it. If she wants the relationship to work, she'll come back to you. Don't be waiting around for her becuase than you're wasting your time. Take some time off from dating if needed, but worry about yourself first and foremost. Quit letting this girl run your life even when she doesn't want to be an integral part of it.
 
You need to move quickly.

Find her best friend (or at least the best looking one) and play your hand.
Go out on a date with her and tell her how pathetic you are and how sad you feel. By the end of the night you'll be sexing her up. If you perform well enough, then you may get the ex-girlfriend jealous when she talks to her best friend on the phone and hears what a great person you are and how much attention you're giving the best friend.

Good luck, and don't forget protection.
 
[quote name='Chris in Cali']Move on. Trust me, it's the best thing for you. She broke up with you, don't even talk to her anymore. Whatever she told you was a lie, and she was just letting you off easily. You'll look pathetic if you keep persuing her. Man up, keep your head up, focus on school, work, exercise, ect. Do your own thing, and be strong independently.[/QUOTE]

Chris is really right on with this statement. There is, in all likelihood, a reason she's not telling you. As said before, the reasons she gave were given to break it to you in a nice way, not a dead honest one. But guess what? The real reason doesn't matter, because the situation you're faced with is still the same. Stay strong and move on.
 
it depends how long u been going out 2gether
u can treat her like a princess for now but u and her will eventually change
i been through a lot of relationships long and short
depending on how much she loves u and u love her, should determine whether u should leave or not, if her school and work and shit are getting in the way of u guys being 2gether than its her fault, ppl make excuses to break up, and IMO i think thats the biggest bullshit she told u for breaking up, if your so perfect in her eyes then there is no reason to leave, u'd work for what u want, and maybe ur a little too nice to her and give her too much freedom and shit, cuz i know the way i treat gurls and x's they get sprung on me after i break up with them, and its more of my choice whether or not i wanna take them back or move on, i know that some gurls are worth staying with and some just aint, relationships are the hardest things, the person whos loves u, u leave, the person u love leaves u, thats life, u cant choose who loves u but u can choose who u love, and if shit is getting in the way then she should adjust to make time for u, thats if she really cares that much, and if u leave her alone and have a long distance relationship, IMO its as good as over, first thing u need is trust, which is the hardest thing to me, and then u need really good communication, good luck if thats the case, and who breaks up wit u for being too good to be true? seriously if thats her only excuse u should back hand her and make her take it back

if i were u i would stop talking 2 her for a week, no calls to her no nothing and if she calls u back then she really wants to be with u, and if she doesnt call in a week then leave and move on, unless shes model beautiful she isnt gonna be worth only u tryiing in a relationship, girls are skandalous, and if she aint good looking man, up ur standards, ugly guys get beautiful girls all the time right? well if u ask out 100 beautiful gurls whats the worse that can happen? 99 no's and 1 can be a yes, a lot of gurls will go out with the first person that asks them, shit even for revenge to their X

and worse that can happen u'll be without a gf for a while so go play some cheap games
and i dont thnk u should move on too quickly, give it some time, let it hurt, love is pain, feel it and learn from ur mistakes, and if she decides to be back with u, u dont wanna break another gurls heart to come back to her, and that gurl doesnt wanna seem like ur rebound

or fuck everything and commit suicide...jk
 
[quote name='greyzieoriental']it depends how long u been going out 2gether
u can treat her like a princess for now but u and her will eventually change
i been through a lot of relationships long and short
depending on how much she loves u and u love her, should determine whether u should leave or not, if her school and work and shit are getting in the way of u guys being 2gether than its her fault, ppl make excuses to break up, and IMO i think thats the biggest bullshit she told u for breaking up, if your so perfect in her eyes then there is no reason to leave, u'd work for what u want, and maybe ur a little too nice to her and give her too much freedom and shit, cuz i know the way i treat gurls and x's they get sprung on me after i break up with them, and its more of my choice whether or not i wanna take them back or move on, i know that some gurls are worth staying with and some just aint, relationships are the hardest things, the person whos loves u, u leave, the person u love leaves u, thats life, u cant choose who loves u but u can choose who u love, and if shit is getting in the way then she should adjust to make time for u, thats if she really cares that much, and if u leave her alone and have a long distance relationship, IMO its as good as over, first thing u need is trust, which is the hardest thing to me, and then u need really good communication, good luck if thats the case, and who breaks up wit u for being too good to be true? seriously if thats her only excuse u should back hand her and make her take it back

if i were u i would stop talking 2 her for a week, no calls to her no nothing and if she calls u back then she really wants to be with u, and if she doesnt call in a week then leave and move on, unless shes model beautiful she isnt gonna be worth only u tryiing in a relationship, girls are skandalous, and if she aint good looking man, up ur standards, ugly guys get beautiful girls all the time right? well if u ask out 100 beautiful gurls whats the worse that can happen? 99 no's and 1 can be a yes, a lot of gurls will go out with the first person that asks them, shit even for revenge to their X

and worse that can happen u'll be without a gf for a while so go play some cheap games
and i dont thnk u should move on too quickly, give it some time, let it hurt, love is pain, feel it and learn from ur mistakes, and if she decides to be back with u, u dont wanna break another gurls heart to come back to her, and that gurl doesnt wanna seem like ur rebound

or fuck everything and commit suicide...jk[/QUOTE]

Did anyone else NOT read any of that? I sure as hell didn't.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']I mean, niggaz is runnin' train on your girl, you got a right to be pissed.......ahay.[/QUOTE]


please dont forget the double penetration they're inflicting on her through both ends
 
[quote name='Socheata']A serious relationship gone bad just like that? From what I've experienced, when a girl has a good man, she clings onto him.
I'm no expert but I'm thinking she's hiding something that she doesn't want to tell you.[/QUOTE]

sry man, but this guy is right :\...9 times out of 10 this is usually the case, if anything, dont seem too desperate (if u want her back or nething )..and dont 4get! the best revenge is success :D!
 
[quote name='saadman']Thanks for actually being sincere about this CAGs. I appreciate that. Just a few things, you can take them how you want.

We were extremely extremely open about everything. I know when she said all those things to me they were true. She has had jackass boyfriends. Her parents, cousins and sister all told me that I'm the first boyfriend that wasn't a mistake in both their and her eyes (you can't fake that).[/QUOTE]

I had a gf who told me I was the first one her family liked, and she ended up dumping me.....and all the "it's not you, it's me" stuff is just BS. It all hurts but I agree with the Stop-Drop-and-Roll philosophy. Just put her behind you (for a change!) and if doing so is a mistake, it's her mistake to fix. If you still want it fixed.
 
[quote name='The Successful Dropout']please dont forget the double penetration they're inflicting on her through both ends[/QUOTE]

haha
 
[quote name='saadman']Thanks for actually being sincere about this CAGs. I appreciate that. Just a few things, you can take them how you want.

We were extremely extremely open about everything. I know when she said all those things to me they were true. She has had jackass boyfriends. Her parents, cousins and sister all told me that I'm the first boyfriend that wasn't a mistake in both their and her eyes (you can't fake that).[/QUOTE]

They used to talk about this all the time on Loveline, with Dr Drew and Adam Corolla... basacially, Dr Drew put it down as a girl who's dated nothing but people who make her feel worthless or losers will feel drawn to those people.

You could have been the best thing she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take that, and didn't know what to expect and was probably scared.

With a jackass, she knows EXACTLY what to expect.
 
... ok my opinion, if you really love the girl and truly believe she's just going through some shit... don't listen to these guys when they say "just be a man", fight for her. You don't want to lose someone special to you.
I admit I've had times where I thought my significant other was too good for me and that he deserved better. If you think she's the one, don't let her go.
 
[quote name='AngellicLulu']... ok my opinion, if you really love the girl and truly believe she's just going through some shit... don't listen to these guys when they say "just be a man", fight for her. You don't want to lose someone special to you.
I admit I've had times where I thought my significant other was too good for me and that he deserved better. If you think she's the one, don't let her go.[/QUOTE]

If that were the case, he wouldn't be conflicted and going to a message board full of strangers, where he knows he's likely to draw the ire, insults and mockery of people, just to get perhaps a glimmer of a good idea. He'd have already taken action, and the situation would have resolved itself.

He obviously doesn't want it that much. Thus, he should just drop it, push it out of his mind and ignore the emotions... which probably are more out of selfishness than anything else. More likely, he likes the idea of being with her more than actually being with her.
 
[quote name='fanskad']Did anyone else NOT read any of that? I sure as hell didn't.[/QUOTE]

:lol: I didn't either, and yet I read AND RESPONDED to your post for some reason
 
blah.. i had a girl cheat on me then the next day dump me it was serious, but it was probably all one sided, i mean if you are serious enough to be totally commited then you wouldn't do that.. I suggest find a girl who likes video games.. those are few and far between (especially pretty ones) and when you do.. do EVERYTHING in your power to keep her.. but in all reality, relationships come and go, its like a James Bond movie, don't get attached or they'll shoot your woman. eventually you'll find someone in tune to what you both want. breaking up with a serious relationship hurts but its not like you're dead right?..

ROb
 
I know it's hard, but move on. Since you are so young you shouldn't limit yourself to one person. One thing I have learned is that once I find out a woman doesn't want to be with me, I don't want to be with her.
 
I didn't read any of this thread, not even the original post, but from the looks of the title and the fact you're asking on a cheap video game deals board, I can tell you that all you need to do is listen to Ben Folds - "Lovesong For The Dumped" and you'll feel better. Promise.
 
"your perfect"...but not for her--that's what she was saying. Chances are much too high that she had her fun and won't be coming back. If she is just going through too much shit then chances are also high that she won't come back...because she needs to survive on her own two feet and after she figures out she can deal with life she'll be a brand new person...one that you most likely wouldn't like.
I had an ex break up with me citing the same excusses when he moved to college, he came home for a weekend just to break up with me (I was living with his parents) and the next week he was dating another girl.
Oh also...if she's ever used the line "He tried to kiss me" or something similar to that...she's cheated on you, because I guaranty you that line is not the whole truth. I don't even want to know how many times I heard that line then later found out it was MUCH MUCH more than one sided and a single unsuccessful attempt.
 
[quote name='Mike23']Any Canada-bashing attempts are quite gay, by the way.[/QUOTE]

Not to mention destined to go right over thier heads :)
(I kid, I kid).
 
Listen to Chris in Cali, he speaks the truth.

This girl sat you down and told you that she doesn't want to be with you anymore. Who cares why she said it? Does it matter why she's breaking up with you if you can't do anything to change her mind? If shes's done with you then the relationship is over. She's not coming back, and moreover would you really even want her back if she chose to? Could you really trust that she wouldn't do this shit again. Think about how terrible you feel right now and know that she may do this to you again, out of the blue, at any moment.

If someone doesn't want to be with you anymore, let them go, and consider yourself lucky to not be wasting anymore of your time on someone who really doesn't care for you. It may be hard to take now, but it's a life lesson that EVERYONE must learn, and unfortunately learn the hard way.
 
[quote name='JSweeney']Not to mention destined to go right over thier heads :)
(I kid, I kid).[/QUOTE]
Of course it'll go over your head if you're constantly bending over to get more Labatt out of the cooler...

:twisted:
 
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