So, the drunk girl thinks I'm an ass

Reality's Fringe

Reality's Fringe

CAGiversary!
Feedback
8 (100%)
So I come in at 1 AM last night (this morning?) and see two of the girls that live in my mod drunkenly stumbling around outside. I ask if they need any hel gettign in and, after several slurred "Yesh"s and "Oh god, you're so aweshome"s I got them into the mod without any blunt trauma. Well, then they try to get into this conversation with me, that makes absolutely no sense by the way, and one of them tries to get me to come into her room to just "sit on her bed". Yes, I've read this Penthouse story before. I'm trying to get out of there without being a total ass, and she kinda opens her legs and says "You have shuch big hands, you know?" I decided it was time for me to go, so I very politely excused myself and bid them goodnight. Well, her friend calls me a "Total ass" because I normally don't talk to them when I see them. Now, this story may have nothing to do with the following question, but I figured "what the hell?" So here's my question:
Why is it that, if you're quite or shy or private, that people find you to be an asshole or stuck-up, and make it their business to try and talk to you etc? Is it just the fact that it hurts their egos because I'm not falling all over myself to try and score with them? I'm never disrespectful to them or angry; I just don't have much to say. I kinda now feel liek I should of totally used her, took some photos, and blackmailed her with them :x
 
I think you need to edit that title fringe.

Edit - On topic, depending on your morals, you will either completely forget about this incident, or regret not taking advantage of the situation.
 
Done, sorry, I'm just still kinda angry. This situation applies to more than drunk people. Everyone who is quiet/shy has this problem from what I've been told, and it pisses me off. Just wanted to get CAG's opinion.
 
Who's to say she would have "reciprocated" the favor? Besides, what place does "the friend" have calling you an ass if she wasn't the one offering anyway? Did she want to watch? Mindgames I tell you.
 
i guess you did the right thing???!!!!
But the guy in me want to call you a DumbAss.
But I wouldn't have done it either, and I have that same problem wih people.

So treat women with respect and forever be the Asshole!!!
But be the Asshole and disrespect women and be KING!!
 
I respect what you did (or did not do). You could have seriously taken advantage of the situation, but you showed much restraint and self-control.

I wouldn't be concerned with other people's perception of who you are. The ones that deserve to know the "real you" will make that effort. If you change who you are and what you're all about, you're only fooling yourself, and you'll end up feeling extremely empty inside.

Just be yourself. Maybe just an occasional simple conversation with people would be good. A short "Hi, how's it going?" can make a decent "non-stuck-up" impression on people.

Take it easy! :)
 
For starters, who cares what other people think about you...I am a quiet person and I have been called an asshole and arrogant and more...no the real question here is, what did these girls look like...
 
The way I see it, you missed a perfect oppurtunity to score with two drunk chicks, who were obviously cravy the royal penis. But on the other hand, obviously you have never talked to these girls in that type of a way or you never talked to them at all, but whatever the case, if someone wont have sex with you when they arent drunk or stoned then they are not worth having sex with, now maybe fucking but not sex or making love as some of you may call it. Me personally in that situation I would have fucked the shit out of them, and nutted in there faces, well if I wasnt married at the time.
But still you made the right decision, its better than ending up with a kid, or some kind of disease.
 
i banged a girl last night i did not like or really wanna do(she pressured me lol)
u missed an opportunity plain and simple
who cares what some drunk little hookers where u live think or do bang them and move on
dam maybe u coulda gotten both
 
Interesting viewpoints and some good advice. I don't know what my problem is in all honesty. Like a poster stated above, I too just don't have anything to say to these people. You would think that they would APPRECIATE the fact that I'm not up in their face talking about some subject that doesn't matter. I didn't try to take advantage of the drunk girl, because that's exactly what it is. Taking advantage of someone. I guess I'll just try to forget it, and whenI see them pretend like nothing happened. They were so drunk that hopefully they forgot themselves.
 
You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you're talking to these girls and shit, you're a lecherous asshole. If you keep to yourself you're a stuck-up asshole.

Face it man, we're assholes...just depends on what kind of asshole you want to be. You're an honest asshole, and you did the right thing.
 
If you wanna really throw them off, next time you see them say: Hi, you girls feeling ok. That way it gives them the chance to apologize if they arent asses. It also throws them off, like why is this guy being nice after I acted like a complete out of controll slut last night?

ok Enough of the sensetive crap........the real question is were they hot?
 
^^Plus, you're an asshole that avoided:
1. Awkward waking up situation.
2. Awkward "can I get in another session before we realize how wrong this is" question.
3. Awkward "holy shit, is she clean" question.
4. Awkward leaving situation.
5. Awkward "can I get that again/do I like her" question.
6. Any prospect of normalcy between you and said girls.

If I were you, I'd play it off cool. Write a note or something lame like that saying, something to the effect of, "didn't mean to be a jerk last night, hope you guys got settled ok, drinks some time, my place?" Sign it "the doorman" or something equally lame and you can play the night off attributing much of their bitchiness to just sheer drunkenness.

Living near them (and thus having to see them ir/regularly) makes the situation different. If you see any potential for hanging out/hooking up/dating either of them, this should govern your reaction...and subsequent interactions.

Your anger is justified, but perhaps a malappropriation of your emotional energy. You've got years of stigmatized gender issues working against you.

Lastly, and most importantly, were either of them hot? If not, were their bodies at least nice enough for you to consider brown-bagging either of 'em?

*EDIT* Squirtle beat me to the punch.
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky'] You're an honest asshole, and you did the right thing.[/quote]

Ah, kinda like Honest Abe.....tat makes for some good photoshop material.

And to the question of whether or not they were hot I can say yes. The girl in reference had an interesting accent of which I took to be either Russian or from one of the regions around it. Like I said, if I had any other value system......However, what makes me a person is fighting off the animal part of my brain(No offense to ZL if he reads this post, the Horse is the only animal that is similar to humans, screw those damned dirty apes). I may take your advice and ask if they're ok, assuming I see them. Despite how they were acting and how I was treated I still feel an abstract concern. I'm such a soft little bitch, I swear.
 
Nah, dude, you're just a nice guy. Expect to finish last, have a job, a shit car...you know the drill.

Supposedly we still win in the end.
 
[quote="
Lastly, and most importantly, were either of them hot? If not, were their bodies at least nice enough for you to consider brown-bagging either of 'em?
[/quote]

Brown bagging......your a pig...........I salute you. LOL
:notworth:
 
You did the right thing. As is stated above, there's so many problems that would've happened as a result of a different course of action.
 
[quote name='O-Dog']Nah, dude, you're just a nice guy. Expect to finish last, have a job, a shit car...you know the drill.

Supposedly we still win in the end.[/quote]

Oh man, what a wonderful outlook for the future. :(
 
DO NOT ask them if they are ok after that night. They probably do it all the time and will merely laugh at you. Just play it cool and when you see them just give them a nod to show that you acknowledge they are there but don't go out of your way to make any extra communication with them. You may gain that mystery that makes girls really want you, and then you can just deny them again.
 
Ehh...i go through this all the time (well...maybe not exactly, but I end up asking the same questions). I would not consider myself shy. However, I usually just keep my mouth shut and I am lousy at starting conversations. So because people see me interacting with others(good friends), but I won't interact with them, they think I don't like them, which most of the time is not the case.

A bit of advise though. You seem nice and considerate. I used to be like that, however, as you've learned in this example, nice people get walked on. they are abused and just generally used at every opportunity. I know this sounds bleak, but it is the reallity of things. So, don't worry about what they think, be a little more cut throat. I would have replied to the "ass" statement immediately with a "slut" remark. If they were that drunk they wouldnt remember the next day anyways.
 
Again, good advice. The problem encountered there, though, is the paradigm of that mentality. I was raised to be gracious and polite, so such a switch won't come easy. It'll take work, but if I ever want to get any respect (RIP Rodney) I'll have to adapt.
 
when i read this topic i was thinking "this had to be started by one of 3 people"; i was thinking ZL, Reality's Fringe, or zewone

do i win something for guessing right? :wink:
 
[quote name='punqsux']when i read this topic i was thinking "this had to be started by one of 3 people"; i was thinking ZL, Reality's Fringe, or zewone

do i win something for guessing right? :wink:[/quote]

Your sealed copy of Mega Man X3 for the SNES is on the way! :p
 
Reality's Fringe]Again said:
Don't be so sure about the absolute dichotomy between being gracious and polite, and gaining respect. In my experience, I've done many things to gain respect, including, first and foremost, being gracious and polite.

It's all a matter of what type of person you want to be with that particular girl. If you're just out for tail, being a player is, typically, the route to go. But if you're in search of a LTR, I would venture that gracious and polite is the path to go.

But don't go fooling yourself into believing that you're only going to be gracious and polite OR a player. You'll find yourself switching to a variety of personas over the course of your romantic career. Eventually, you'll find one that "works" for you, and then you can go with that, whatever it is.
Click to expand...
 
I have this bracelet. It says: WWMTD?

It means "What would Mr. T do?" Its a pretty cool bracelet......
 
One thing to consider too is that without any photo evidence like you brillantly offered, they could have accused you of sexual assault or rape. Just something to think about, especially with drunken slutty college girls.
 
[quote name='punqsux']better be over night w/insurance and DC or else im starting a slander thread!![/quote]

I GOTT TEH RIPPED!11! If only I had a copy of X3..............

O-Dog, I see your POV, and I agree. I think I'll assimilate the personality I like to call "Alabama Boot-Stomper". Girls, FEAR ME!
 
This makes me miss highschool. Nothing like being surounded with the three "tipsy" girls wearing nothing more than a towel each...and somehow keeping my cool. Sometimes i wish i was that other type of asshole, but i would have never gotten the beautiful GF i have now.

*kicks own ass...silently*
 
[quote name='LeviathynX']One thing to consider too is that without any photo evidence like you brillantly offered, they could have accused you of sexual assault or rape. Just something to think about, especially with drunken slutty college girls.[/quote]

Yeah, there's been a great deal of sexual assault as of late on campus, including an incident involving 5 guys and one girl. Kind of disturbing, actually.

[quote name='Xevious']I have this bracelet[....] it means "What Would Mr. T Do"[/quote]

I need one of those :)
 
[quote name='Supernothing']DO NOT ask them if they are ok after that night. They probably do it all the time and will merely laugh at you. Just play it cool and when you see them just give them a nod to show that you acknowledge they are there but don't go out of your way to make any extra communication with them. You may gain that mystery that makes girls really want you, and then you can just deny them again.[/quote]

Great advice - I completely agree.

You totally undercut one of the primary powers their gender allows (IE the promise of sex) and for these girls this was an attack. So they projected their weakness on to you (IE their shyness in saying "Hi" while sober)
Situations like this are a result of the sexual revolution of the 70s and the empowerment of women - now everyone is confused about their gender role, and its going to take some time to sort all of it out (you can see the confusion inherent in all of the womens mags/shows/etc). Compounding this is the acceptance of the Victorian ideal of romance as normal and healthy (where relationships are driven solely by the passions and pleasures of the heart as opposed to being a mutually beneficial partnership that needs work to suceed).
Unfortunately we're in the middle of this mess. As always - the maxim "Know Thyself" should steer you through, my advice is to not worry about missed opportunities, and instead devise a clearly defined gameplan for the next time this kind of thing happens. Remember, sometimes doing the cool thing can turn out way worse for you, even if it does give you some crazy stories.
 
They've tried to make conversation with me while sober. The problem is, I'm entirely uninterested in what they have to say. Of course, if I'm greeted ith a "Hello" I return it, but my courteousy only extends to that boundary. I feel that the core problem here is the fact that they cannot stand the ideathat I have no real desire in them. Perhaps my casual indifference has hurt their ego and undermined their role as women (hah). I have this feeling that I haven't seen the last of them.
 
I didn't read everyones responses, but I'll just add, people think quite or shy people are stuck up because you may not have anything to say and are not purposely trying to come off as better than someone or above talking to them, but it may appear that way. If you never say anything and keep to yourself, then people don't know what to make of you, and automatically assume you think you are better than them or don't like them, hence the no talking to them.

I was shocked several years ago when a friend of mine asked why I look pissed off all the time, constantly. Apparently, people think I'm constantly pissed off and am angry all the time, even though I'm not. I just never really smile a lot even though I'm relatively happy. But it comes off as me being pissed off. I was totally shocked that this is how people percieve me as I generally am a nice guy and not usually ever pissed.

Anyway, if you are not talkative or outgoing perse, then people assume the worst, to try to categorize you or in a lame attempt to understand you, instead of just talking to you to understand the real you.

(On a side note, you probably should have showed that chick up close how big your hands are, but that's me.)
 
Wow OP that is some serious restraint, I would have done the complete opposite but that's just because I'm a pig! Morals, we should live without them.
 
[quote name='camoor']
Yeah - they are Russian women. Hopefully its the "Famke from GoldenEye" type of revenge :D
Click to expand...

"Xenia Onatopp" ... Bond movies have the best names for female characters.

And by best I mean worst, of course.
 
Damn that is a high level of restraint. Being around 2 drunk Russian girls.....Damn I would have taken advantage of them in every which way possible.
 
You did the right thing. You don't need a pat on the back from those girls or anyone else for it to be the right thing. If the same opportunity ever presents itself, it will still be the right thing for you to walk away. Good for you.

As for *why* they reacted that way - they felt rejected, and it made them mad. People always react that way when they know somebody has taken the high road. Doing the right thing will always trigger a backlash. Look at our Presidential race. (Intentionally not choosing sides here because that's for a different forum). I feel that the candidate I support desires the right things, and there are people who just can't stand that. Those on the "other" side probably feel the same way.

You did what's right. Stand tall. You can either take the approval of people who are sober and agree or you can try for the approval of people who are prone to be drunk and unappreciative. But you probably won't get both.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top