So.... what are you guys getting your SOs for the holidays?

Some don't have joint accounts and keep everything separate (or have one joint account the each transfer money to for bills). So in that case they can truly buy each other gifts since they keep their incomes separate.
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That's just weird man. I understand that if you're just hooking up with some chick but why get married if nothing changes?
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']That's just weird man. I understand that if you're just hooking up with some chick but why get married if nothing changes?[/QUOTE]

Not weird at all. Most people I know do it this way. You don't get into arguments about someone spending all the money.

You both contribute a certain amount to the monthly bills / mortgage / college funds / etc based on income and set amount. The rest is your money to do as you see fit.
 
Yeah, I lean toward doing that with my girlfriend when we get married if she's ok with it.

Just avoids fights over money if you just have your own incomes. Just have to agree on bills and how much in savings/retirement funds each month, and then you can each spend the rest of your incomes (or save extra) how ever you see fit with no arguments about "wasting" money on games, movies or whatever you're into that she thinks is silly and vice versa. But I guess that's only really relevant if both people are career oriented and making decent money. Fights would probably still happen a lot if one person made a lot more money that the other as the disposable incomes would be too unequal. Moot for me as I'd never be with someone who wasn't also career driven and making decent money as I don't want to support someone or be supported.

For me, marriage is just important for the symbolism of love and commitment. I don't care about the legal benefits beyond being able to visit the hospital, make medical decisions etc. if something happens. Health benefits are moot as I'll always have insurance and only be with someone who has a career as I said, don't care about tax benefits, joint bank accounts or any of that stuff.
 
It can also be due to differences in attitudes toward money. My fiance grew up with more money than I did. Her family isn't loaded, but they aren't worrying about money much either, outside of some catastrophe. She tends to spend money without really worrying about, not like spending into bankruptcy, but she just doesn't worry as much as I do about it. I tend to agonize over purchases sometimes, even if ti's something I really want. I'm not a cheapskate, but I just think long and hard about how much I really need or want something. I'll probably want to keep separate accounts, otherwise I'd start scrutinizing her spending, and I just don't want to go there.
 
Yep, that's a good example.

It's reversed for me. My parents weren't well off. They grew up and started off very poor, but my dad ended up with a good union job and made ok money relative to the low cost of living in rural WV so money was seldom a major worry. I had to pinch pennies through college and grad school some, but have made decent money since finishing and don't worry too much about most purchases (anything under a couple hundred bucks).

My girlfriend has never had much money for any long stretch of time (did ok for a while before deciding to go back to school) and would definitely scrutinize my spending, occasionally mentions something about me buying another Bluray etc., so probably best for us to keep our disposable incomes seperate and just avoid that type of nagging and bickering. As long as all the bills get paid, and savings goals met, that's all that matters in terms of "our" money once we're together.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']That's just weird man. I understand that if you're just hooking up with some chick but why get married if nothing changes?[/QUOTE]

I don't think it's that weird. I know a lot of couples that are like that. I know I will be. Maybe I just haven't met enough women, but I know that I have yet to meet a woman I'd trust with my money. :lol:
 
I don't know if your married or not or how long of a committed relationship you have had but money can be a big issue and stressful situation. I'm not sure on it's statistics but I'm sure the money factor is high in the divorce rate.

I know many people that do it, me and the wife even do it, I don't see anything wrong with it. We both make around the same amount and live comfortably, so money never really has been an issue for us.
 
[quote name='skiizim']I don't know if your married or not or how long of a committed relationship you have had but money can be a big issue and stressful situation. I'm not sure on it's statistics but I'm sure the money factor is high in the divorce rate.

I know many people that do it, me and the wife even do it, I don't see anything wrong with it. We both make around the same amount and live comfortably, so money never really has been an issue for us.[/QUOTE]

That's probably why I have such a negative opinion of marriage and marriage related issues. My parents divorce was just a giant pain in the ass. Arguing and fighting all the time. Money wasn't the cause of the divorce, but it sure as hell didn't help. I figured that keeping your own money to yourself is a good way to avoid fights from one party spending too much of the shared money.
 
My wife's birthday is 4 days before Christmas so I gotta go double duty every year but i'm used to it. I don't combine just for the sheer fact that she buys me a birthday gift and Christmas gifts so why shouldn't I give her the same.

Anyways for her birthday I got her one of our wedding photos blown up and put on a canvas. We just got married in June and she's been wanting this for a while. I'm also taking her out to a nice dinner.

For Christmas I got her a Kate Spade wallet, a new REI gym bag and a board game (still looking for this one).

We usually put a limit on ourselves for the holidays especially since we had the wedding this year.

Oh and to chime in on the above joint bank account discussion above, my wife and I have a joint account where we transfer money for bills / food / rent / etc and we both also have our own personal accounts for our own personal bills and stuff. I know a lot of people who do it this way.
 
[quote name='Clak']It can also be due to differences in attitudes toward money. My fiance grew up with more money than I did. Her family isn't loaded, but they aren't worrying about money much either, outside of some catastrophe. She tends to spend money without really worrying about, not like spending into bankruptcy, but she just doesn't worry as much as I do about it. I tend to agonize over purchases sometimes, even if ti's something I really want. I'm not a cheapskate, but I just think long and hard about how much I really need or want something. I'll probably want to keep separate accounts, otherwise I'd start scrutinizing her spending, and I just don't want to go there.[/QUOTE]

This sounds a lot like me and my girlfriend. We've been together nearly 2 years and are moving in together this year coming up. She's never had her own place or many bills to budget and since I work in finance I know I will be the scrutinizing type, so I want us to keep our accounts separate as well even after we're eventually married. We'll set up a joint account for bills and retirement fund but that's it.
 
I don't know if your married or not or how long of a committed relationship you have had but money can be a big issue and stressful situation. I'm not sure on it's statistics but I'm sure the money factor is high in the divorce rate.I know many people that do it, me and the wife even do it, I don't see anything wrong with it. We both make around the same amount and live comfortably, so money never really has been an issue for us.
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To answer your first question, yes I am married. I see the point you guys are making. With the way this world is now adays I figure it is smart in some situations, or even second nature to some, to want to keep seperate finances (other than splitting the bills) to keep from having money problems.

I guess I never really considered having seperate finances. Most big things we purchase are discussed (tv, consoles, etc) and everything else isn't really an issue. I guess if our finances were tight it might be more of a stressor in our relationship. She has no problems with me buying games and I have no problem with her buying clothes lol.
 
Book is cute. And it got the Mariah Carey song stuck in my head, thanks. (But $7 for a board book? Ouch.)

Wife did online shopping to buy stuff she wanted. Will wrap it up and put it under the tree.
When you have three kids, Christmas is more about them anyway.
 
My daughter gets really spoiled in the holidays, first it's Christmas and then her birthday is on New Years Day. Her Birthday is much easier other than having to organize a party but seeing her smile is well worth it.
 
Got my GF a LEGO Hobbit set that she's been eyeing up. Also got her tickets to the upcoming Matchbox 20 concert.

This is the first year I have no idea what I'm getting.
 
I'm getting her a keffiyeh I bought in the West Bank.its an ironic gift cuz I'm an idf soldier. I also plan to get her a normal gift but I haven't bought one yet. I was thinking earrings
 
[quote name='Strell']Get this for your SO. Cheap, shows you care, cute art, will make them saw d'awwww, etc.[/QUOTE]

Holy shit, Valentines Day gift confirmed. Thanks for the link!

My fiance always wants beauty crap for Christmas. I bought her some expensive nail painting kit with an included lamp and a bunch of other beauty related stuff she asked for. It is always awkward going into these women's beauty and makeup stores and buying things when you are the only dude in there.
 
[quote name='FaintDeftone']
My fiance always wants beauty crap for Christmas. I bought her some expensive nail painting kit with an included lamp and a bunch of other beauty related stuff she asked for. It is always awkward going into these women's beauty and makeup stores and buying things when you are the only dude in there.[/QUOTE]

I know the feeling they usually look at my like I'm about to rob the place
 
[quote name='FaintDeftone']It is always awkward going into these women's beauty and makeup stores and buying things when you are the only dude in there.[/QUOTE]

Dude I just got back from Target and the only thing I bought was a 6 pack of children's panties. I went in for Elf on the Shelf and the wife texted me while I was there. They were out of the Elf.
 
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Wow, you guys talking about not caring about Christmas and/or not giving gifts are depressing me. :lol: I mean, I do get the reasoning that each of you have expressed but... Man. I Can't imagine Christmas not being a big deal. I suppose, for me at least, it has a bit to do with how big Christmas was growing up.

On topic, this is mine and the wife's first Christmas being married(we were dating/engaged for nearly 6 years combined). We just se a semi-modest limit for each other ($350 each) and just got some things on wish-list as well as some surprises for Christmas morning. I don't think either of us spent more than $40 per item, so no big gifts.
 
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